25. Sabrina
25
SAbrINA
I willed my heart to slow down. It banged in my chest as I came down from the high of making love with Nick—again.
My plan in coming over here was to hug him. To let him know that he didn’t have to be alone and mad and hurt like this all the time.
But now that we’d fallen together, I had to deal with the aftermath, this confusing need and longing that would kick in as soon as I left. I’d have to contend with that again and figure out how to keep myself from completely losing sight of what else mattered, like his connection to my nemesis.
The allure of being an intern for Lorsen & Spengler had already been fading, but the more I learned about the Lorsen family, the more I discovered about Nick’s personal drama and hardships, the less I wanted to be affiliated with the powerful legal family.
He leaned up and gazed at me intensely. His brow was furrowed again, and I knew he’d be expecting an answer for why I’d shown up after protesting that we couldn’t even be together at all.
“Why…”
I shook my head, pushing a little so he’d let me up. Of course, he’d doubled back now and pressed me into the sofa. Now that we’d caved so quickly to sex, the only thing that should be left is a conversation about why.
“Sabrina, why are you acting like this?”
I scoffed, pushing a little more until he shifted just enough that I could scoot up the couch and then ease off it completely. Being naked in front of him felt strange, or at least like this, it did. No one else was around, but this wasn’t exactly a private location. Anyone could walk in.
“Answer me.” He got up as I started to shove my clothes on. I couldn’t find my bra, but that hardly mattered. I shoved my tank top over my head as I hunted for my shorts.
“Sabrina,” he warned as he pulled his jeans back on. “Why did you show up like that and act like you…” He scowled as he stopped speaking. “What’s going on?”
“I need to go.” It was the only thing I could say. In the aftermath of such a tender bout of lovemaking, I couldn’t tell him what his mom had said. It felt like too personal of a breach of trust.
It wasn’t my place to meddle, right?
“Why are you…?” He grunted, getting up and tugging his shirt on. “Why are you pretending to care?”
“Pretending…” I choked on a sudden sob. Tears leaked from my eyes, and I hated that he’d reduced me to tears. Not because of his hurting me or taunting me like he had when we first “met”, but tears for him and how I did care. That the reason I came here was because I couldn’t stand his pain.
With blurry vision, I turned to sprint out of the studio. I had to get out of here. I had to run. I couldn’t face him and figure out how to stay strong in wanting to console him when it wasn’t right of me to have that information at all.
I didn’t stop to find my bra or panties. Relieved my car keys were still in the pockets of my shorts, I dashed away. Pumping my arms, I sprinted as hard as I could—barefoot, because I hadn’t slowed enough to look for my sandals—and I winced at the sound of him chasing after me.
“Sabrina!” His heavier footsteps thundered after me.
“Stop!” He didn’t slow down, running all the way outside.
Whimpering with the need to escape, I turned around a corner too quickly and didn’t have the time to correct myself before tripping over a parking lot curb.
Before I could crash down and face plant on the pavement, Nick was there. He’d chased me so quickly and stayed hot on my heels so well that he was closer than I realized. His strong arms reached out to break my fall, but I still felt a jolt of pain searing up my leg. My ankle screamed in agony from twisting it in the fall.
I cried out, gasping and tensing at the inevitable crash to the ground.
But I didn’t.
He’d captured me. Holding me as he breathed hard and fast to catch his breath, he kept me secure and off the ground. He stared down at me, his brow furrowed with concern and annoyance.
“Sabrina,” he got out around panted breaths.
I shook my head and wiggled to get free.
He didn’t budge. “Just stop. Stop. Before you hurt yourself again.”
“I only tripped because you chased me,” I accused, so nervous and lost with how to handle this. Still, I clung to the belief that I couldn’t trust him. Not with my heart, which he was getting too close to owning. Not with the truth, either. He could very well not want anything more to do with me since his mom shared so much with me.
“And I only chased you because you ran.”
“I ran because?—”
He growled, lifting me higher in his arms. “ Stop . You have some explaining to do.”
Carrying me from the edge of the parking lot, he watched my face, searching it for the answers I was too afraid to give him.
“I have to explain why I wanted you to fuck me?”
He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t lie and try to tell me it was just a quick fuck. That was more. That was something else.”
Dammit. He was playing hardball.
“I want an answer for why you showed up out of the blue and acted like you care about me.”
I looked away, clamping my lips shut tight. I wasn’t acting, but could I tell him that and trust him not to use it against me?
“You’re coming home with me and?—”
“No!” I fought to get loose again. “I don’t want to go there and see?—”
“Settle down.” He carried me toward my car. Of course, he’d know which one it was, the stalker he had been lately. “No one’s there. They went to a family thing that I got out of.”
I didn’t speak as he set me down next to my car. After helping me keep my weight off my injured ankle, which was already feeling better, he took my keys out of my pockets and got me in the passenger side. Then he got in the driver’s seat and headed off.
The ride to the Lorsen mansion was silent. I didn’t dare speak, and he seemed to be simmering and waiting to demand more answers.
He parked out front. “Don’t move.”
I scowled, nervous, as he rounded the car and opened my door. “Oh, you’re a gentleman now ?”
He reached in and picked me up easily, frowning.
“I can walk,” I protested.
He didn’t react, carrying me all the way inside, through the front, up the stairs, and toward a bedroom.
When I realized he was bringing me into his bathroom, I sighed and gave up to the fact that he wanted to have his way. He set me down, ensuring I would lean against the vanity while he started the shower.
As steam filled the room, he undressed himself, then me.
Still, not another word was spoken.
Only when he carried me into the shower and began washing us both did he sigh and soften his gaze. “Please, Sabrina. I’m confused.”
“About what?” I asked.
“About why you’re pretending to care about?—”
I tugged his head down toward mine until I could kiss him. Once he relaxed, kissing me back, I retreated and looked him in the eye. “I’m not pretending, Nick. I care. I do care. More than I should.”
“What happened to not letting me close?” he asked.
I huffed a weak laugh. “That plan fell apart.”
“You care about me? For me? Despite how I treated you?” He sounded so dubious.
“I do. That’s always been my problem. I always care too much.”
He scoffed. “As honored as I am, I am still confused. You are so stubborn and insist you don’t want anything to do with me, but now you pull a one-eighty…”
I ducked my head, resting my chin on my chest. “Because I realized why you might have been motivated to be so horrible to me.”
He stiffened. Keeping his hands on my upper arms, he went so still, I frowned without lifting my head.
“You do?”
“Yes. I…” I blew out a deep breath and then faced him. If he wanted to get mad about what I learned, or how I had come to this information, he had every right to do so. “I saw a woman on the beach at the end of the cleanup event.”
He stared at me intensely, the water running down on us and streaming over his rugged, handsome face. And he didn’t change that somber, serious expression at any time while I told him all of it. I started with how I saw his mom but didn’t know who she was at first. Then how she unloaded all her woes on me. I finished with how she clammed up, embarrassed and apologetic to share so many details with me.
After I explained it all, I sighed and wished he’d say something.
“I felt so bad, and I hated the idea of your hurting. You do seem mad at the world, and sad, and I can’t claim to know what it’s like to lose a parent, but I wanted to let you know that I care. So much. And it breaks my heart to know that you’re hurting at all. I came to the studio just to see you, just to hug you, and then… one thing turned into another.”
Keeping his dark gaze locked on me, he let out a long, deep breath and pulled me close for a tight hug. With my cheek against his chest, I closed my eyes and listened to the steady thrum of his heart beating. And I wished I could help him piece all the broken pieces of it back together again.