26. Nick
26
NICK
I should’ve known better.
I really should’ve known.
Shock reverberated through me at what Sabrina revealed.
I didn’t doubt her. I had no reason to. She’d never set out to hurt me. She had no incentive to mess with me like I had with her. And the irony of it all killed me.
I was motivated to try to “ruin” her and bully her because Tiffany threatened the stability Mom and I had here.
But she’d lied.
“I should have fucking known.” It left my lips as a bitter whisper.
So rocked by the news that Sabrina shared, I couldn’t do anything but stand there with her in the shower. Her ankle was better, so she could be on her feet. It must have been a slight twist in that fall. I was glad for it, that I could lean on her .
She didn’t say anything, just hugging me back, holding me close, and letting me adjust. No pressure, no demands. And no questions either.
We could just be, and that was all I needed to let this sink into my head.
My mom hadn’t cheated. George was. Tiffany was a liar, and I should have fucking known.
That bitch only did something when it would benefit her, no matter the cost to anyone else. That was how low and selfish she was.
“You should’ve known that he’d cheat on her?” she asked softly at last.
I shook my head, jarred out of the numbing reverie of shock. “No. That she fucking lied.” After turning off the water, I guided her out of the shower stall with me. I dried her off first, then grabbed a towel for myself. “Come with me.” I appreciated that she wasn’t hysterical or defensive. By admitting that she cared about me, she proved she’d meet me in the middle, too, not being so stubborn and combative.
With towels tied around us, I led her out of my room and all the way to the study where the nanny cams were all situated. “Tiffany,” I explained as I pulled Sabrina closer until she could sit on my lap as I looked at the main monitor, “lied to me.”
“That wouldn’t surprise me,” she said as I opened all the nanny cams that would’ve shown my mom with George’s assistants.
“She came to me when I began noticing my mom acting weird again. She’s struggled with depression most of her life. Dad…” I paused, emotional to talk about him, but I powered on. “My dad could support her and help her. He wasn’t intimidated or afraid when she’d get so gloomy and depressed, checking out like she did when she wasn’t on meds. He wasn’t a coward to help her. Like me.”
“Hey.” She put her hand over mine, stopping me from moving the mouse. “You’re not a coward, Nick. The way she said it, she’s dealt with this her whole life. If you were just a boy… Nick, it was not your responsibility to act like an adult back then.”
I nodded, knowing that but struggling to believe it. “My dad was always the one to handle her. And with him gone, it’s been strange to take his role.”
“George doesn’t help?”
I shrugged. “He’s aware of her past struggles, but they are, or were, more like friends and roommates than a married couple.” I shook my head and resumed looking for the footage files. “I noticed my mom was withdrawing and acting off, and I was worried she was getting worse or would need an adjustment to her medication. I wanted to confront her, and I kind of did, but she was acting so suspicious. Tiffany noticed it too.”
“But not George?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he did. He didn’t say anything in front of me about it. One night, Tiffany approached me with claims that my mom was cheating on George.”
“What?” She scrunched up her face as she looked at the monitor too.
“Yeah. She said that was why she was acting so off. And she showed me a video of her with George’s assistant. It was grainy, but I believed it. I took her word for it because Mom was acting weird like she was hiding something. I assumed it was depression, but then with Tiffany saying what she did, I assumed she had to be right.” Finding the videos she’d shown me, my rage burned higher and hotter. “But she lied.”
“That’s not your mom,” Sabrina pointed out in the videos. “That’s Tiffany!”
I ground my teeth as I watched it and realized she’d doctored the videos. And that was something in her wheelhouse. She was always making her podcasts and creating content for her stupid series about being a law student. She had video editing skills.
“But what about what my mom said of George?” I wondered aloud.
Scrolling through other feeds, I noticed George hugging and smiling with a young woman in his office and study, even outside near the pool and patio.
“Who’s that?” she asked.
“You don’t recognize her? She looks young enough to be one of your classmates.”
Sabrina shook her head. “No. I’ve never seen her before.”
“That must be his side piece,” I realized. “That’s why Mom has been acting worried.” I rubbed my hand over my face as I let this news slot into my brain.
“Wait. When we were in that pool house…”
I looked at her, hating how worried she seemed. I lifted my hand to brush back her hair and cup her face. “There aren’t any nanny cams out there.”
She sighed in relief.
“And I’ll erase the footage of your being here today,” I added. Gesturing for her to get up, I logged out of the computer and then stood. I didn’t want to sit in here as I tried to figure out my next steps. All that mattered right now was that Sabrina walked alongside me back to my room. She kept my hand in hers, and I appreciated the comfort I didn’t deserve.
It was all so twisted, all so messed up.
I had to come clean. I had to tell her the truth.
Once we were in the privacy of my room again, I indicated for her to sit on my bed. I was too restless to stay still, so I paced back and forth in front of her.
“When Tiffany came to me and told me that my mom was cheating, she threatened to tell George.” I glanced at Sabrina to check that she was listening. She was, with a gentle expression of patience on her gorgeous face.
“She threatened to tell George unless I did something for her.”
“Aha.” Even though the quip was snarky, she didn’t put a lot of heat into it. “I see.”
“No, you don’t see that?—”
She nodded, still calmer than I expected her to be. “She threatened to tell George that your mom was cheating unless you made my life hell.”
I cringed, putting my hands on my hips. She was sharp. Of course, she’d connect the dots.
“I kept wondering why you’d target me. You didn’t even know me. I didn’t know you. But you’d made it so clear you were targeting me. Once I learned that you were related to her, I started to suspect.”
I nodded. “She told me to ruin you. To ruin your reputation.”
“To get me expelled?” She asked it then held up her hand again. “No. The internship spot.”
“Yeah. She’s determined to get it and knows you’re more likely to.”
She rolled her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Sabrina. I will never not be sorry for how shitty I was to you and?—”
She stood and took my hands. Slowly, she pulled me in for a hug. “I understand.”
I reared back. “No. How? Sabrina, I was an asshole and?—”
“It’s forgivable.” She urged me to sit on the bed with her, but I went one step further, encouraging her to lie with me. On our sides, facing each other, I stared at her and tried to comprehend.
“How can you be this good? How can you be this forgiving and…”
She leaned in to kiss me. “Because I care. I care about you, and when I’m with you, I can feel that you see me in the same light.” She licked her lips, shifting to get comfortable and closer to me. “If she hadn’t put you up to it, would you have ever been motivated to target me and bully me at all?”
I shook my head. “No. I’m an asshole and I’ve got a lot of anger, but it doesn’t do anything for me to drag anyone else down.”
“See?”
I sighed, snuggling closer. “But I hate that I hurt you at all. That I bothered you and…”
“But you did it for a greater good, right?” She winced, but shrugged. “You know what I mean.”
“All I’ll say is that the end does not justify the means. I hate that I did anything cruel to you. It was ‘easier’ when I didn’t know you, but as soon as I started to get close and wanted to know you more and more… I was stuck. I agreed to her demand because I couldn’t lose this stability. Mom would need money and means to get mental help. Antidepressants. Therapy. A home. After all Dad went through, we had nothing. That girl’s family suing us took even more. I couldn’t be able to support Mom on my own, and I was scared to lose that here. If she’d cheated and George found out, we’d be out.”
Sabrina stroked her hand over my face as I spoke, and I relished the comfort.
“Clearly, it’s all off now. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I hurt you again in any way.”
“What about Tiffany telling George that she’s cheating? She’ll show him the doctored videos.”
I furrowed my brow. “Then… I don’t know. If he’s cheating on her already, it’s just a bigger mess. Mom can attest that she’s not the one in the wrong. Then… I don’t know.”
“Then she could divorce and get a settlement?” Sabrina guessed. “And you would have funds to help her get what she needs.”
I lay back and closed my eyes, warmer and calmer when she nestled closer and lay with her head on my shoulder, her hand on my chest. Even though contact with her soothed me, I had to make sense of the chaos in my head.
What could I do now?
What was there to do?
“Or…” she said quietly as she rubbed my chest lightly, “I could drop out.”
I opened my eyes and scowled at her. “What? No.”
She nodded, brushing her hair on my skin. “Yes.”
“Sabrina. No. You can’t?—”
“I can do whatever I want,” she sassed back.
“Nope. I won’t let you,” I argued. “Tiffany can’t win. Not like this. Not at all.”
“But it wouldn’t be her winning if I didn’t really want it anymore.”
I scoffed. “You do.”
“I did ,” she replied. “I never set out to beat anyone. Law school is a competition, but it’s not a contest against each other. I just want to do as well as I can so I can become the best lawyer possible to help as many people as I can.”
I kissed her, falling in love with her a little more.
“And after seeing how Lorsen & Spengler operate…” She shrugged before she lay back down. “It’s not what I want. It’s not who I am. Like my friend Elise warned, I don’t want to sell myself short or compromise my integrity. I’m not suited to be a cold-blooded corporate lawyer like that.”
“No, you’re not,” I agreed. “You’re too fucking sweet and good.”
I felt her cheek lift in a smile against my chest.
Stroking my hand over her back, I relaxed with her at my side. All that we’d talked about and learned today would require more time for it to sink in. Neither of us spoke for such a long time that I knew she’d be close to dozing off as we lay together.
For now, I could rest easy with the knowledge that I would have her with me. I would have her to help me navigate this situation.
But not this minute.
“We’ll talk about it in the morning,” I said quietly before kissing her temple.
She didn’t reply, already fast asleep.