1. Chapter 1
1
Subpar Dick
June 2024
“So, did you fuck him or not?” I ask my roommate and best friend as she sips on her Aperol spritz with lemonade.
“Babes, it was the first date, so no. I usually wait until the third, but most of them are so boring. Their chat is so dry.”
I laugh before taking a drink of my lavender martini. Alissa is far tamer than I am in the dating department, but the two of us have been in the same boat for a while—we haven't had much luck dating-wise.
Not that we’re trying to find partners, but even our one night stands have been shitty.
Regardless of what Paige says, I don't mind being single. In fact, I love it. It’s way easier, and based on the way my last relationship ended, I don't want to be tied up again. If she would stop texting me begging to get back together, the two of us could move on. God knows I’ve moved on already after a year, and I’m close to blocking her number so she takes a fucking hint. “Subpar dick is better than none if it means avoiding a drought, Liss. Just saying.”
“Ells, I barely have time as it is. If I’m going to fuck, it needs to be good.”
Alissa Zimmerman is too busy girlbossing in the private sector as some sort of hacker or something to have a long-term relationship. I don't really know what she does, because when she explained it, none of what she said made any sense. Something with analysis, or data…I think? Either way, she’s a badass. That’s all that matters.
Alissa flips her long brown hair as she takes another sip of her drink. I don’t know how she manages to just sit and look as beautiful as she does, but once she opens her mouth, her spunky personality shines through. My best friend is the perfect match for me—we both crave chaos in different ways, and I love it. She doesn't take shit from anyone, and that’s why we get along so well. Despite her being shorter than I am, she has as much fire in her body as I do.
“If you're not looking for anyone tonight, then maybe I can. This bar is trendy and new, which means there must be someone here looking for a fun night.” Alissa and I are out for drinks at this new place by our apartment. It only opened last week, but it’s cute. She and I are sitting at a table in the corner, away from all the loud shit but good enough for us to scope out the people in here.
“At least this place is nicer than the Hidden Bear. I remember it always being sticky when Leo dragged me out against my will.” The Hidden Bear was the bar near our alma mater, Grand Mountain College. Alissa graduated a year before I did, which means we never got to go out together while we were both still in school. I met her my senior year, and we became fast friends. I also might have flirted with her before I knew who she was, but instead of going that route, we became friends, and now, roommates.
My entire body tenses at the mention of her brother . While Alissa Zimmerman is one of my favorite people on the planet, Leo is not.
In fact, he’s quite literally the worst.
“Liss, I thought I told you—”
“Yeah, yeah, don't mention my brother around you or else. Whatever.” She rolls her eyes, not understanding my intense dislike of her brother. They’re Irish twins—born less than a year apart—so they're very close. She loves her brother a lot, and she also deals with me talking shit about him all the time. It’s far tamer than what it used to be when we had our internship together—where I may or may not have threatened to kill him a few times. “He’s moving back here, you know.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. To Virginia? Is he even allowed back in this country?”
“Yup. I’m sorry to say, you’ll have to deal with him again.” I internally groan as Alissa downs the rest of her drink, smirking at me.
“Why is he coming back, and should we let customs know to look out for him?”
“He got some sort of job offer he couldn't pass up. That’s all I know.”
“Wow. I can't believe that company would hire the worst person on the planet. I hope they know who they’re dealing with.” I down my drink as well, suddenly wanting to be as drunk as possible.
“Ells, it’s going to be fine. You’ll only have to deal with him when he comes to bother me, and I’ll tell you when he’s coming so you can avoid him. I’m sick of you two fighting all the time, but I deal with it because I love you both.”
“Ugh. I’m getting another drink. Do you want one?”
“No, babes. I’m okay. I’m gonna head to pee.” I nod at her before getting up and heading to the bar. My phone buzzes as I reach it, but I order before I check it.
“Lavender martini, please.”
“Coming right up.” I pull my phone out as it keeps buzzing, and I laugh when I see who’s texting me. Since we’ve all graduated and now live further apart, my friends love a good group message. And of course, Oliver and Amelia keep their bickering going, even an ocean apart.
Oliver: Amelia, did you get a flight yet or what? Paige’s birthday is in two weeks, and no matter how much your face annoys me, she’ll be excited you’re here.
Amelia: Oh yeah, I’ve had one for weeks. Did I forget to tell you? Must’ve slipped my mind…
Oliver: Yeah, I’m sure it did, Medusa.
Amelia: Can it, Jack Frost.
Grant: That’s not very nice.
Ella: Ames, I can't wait to see you! We miss you so much.
Hads: I second that, Ells.
Grant: I third that! Talking shit isn't as fun without you, Amelia.
Amelia: It’s nice to know some people miss me.
Oliver: Paige misses you, and therefore, I miss you by osmosis.
Grant: That’s all you get out of him, but trust me, he misses you.
Oliver: Shut the fuck up, Grant.
Grant: See? He has nobody to make fun of, so he takes it out on us.
Hads: Oliver, chill. You can survive one week of Amelia staying with you. Think about how happy Paige will be.
Oliver: The only reason I’m doing this is for her. If it was up to me, Amelia would be as far away from me as possible.
Ella: Well, you almost were far from us. You know, because of the whole jail thing…
Amelia: Ella, you beat me by one second! But yeah, she’s right. You could've been celebrating P’s birthday from a cell.
Oliver: I’m not having this conversation again.
Grant: Guys, it was a holding cell, but regardless, it was a cell, so…
Oliver: I’m going to cancel this whole thing if you guys don't stop.
Amelia: Fine, fine.
Ella: Ames, let us know when your flight leaves and such. I want updates at all times!
Hads: And don't forget your book or kindle for your flight. It’s a long one.
Amelia: I will, I promise.
Grant: Can you bring me some Flake’s?
Amelia: Yes. Now, I have to go to work. See you guys soon.
Ella: Don't work too hard!
Hads: Love you! Go kick some National Geographic ass!
Grant: Have fun, old sport.
Oliver: Good God, not this again.
I laugh as I pick up my drink in front of me. I love my friends and all the chaos they bring, this conversation being no different. It’s weird to think about how long I’ve known Hads, Paige, and Amelia for. They’re some of those relationships that feel like we’ve known each other for a lifetime, but we all became friends in our time at Grand Mountain, so it has only been a few years.
Those days are long behind us, though. Hads and Grant just graduated, and Amelia, Paige, and Oliver have been out of school for a year. I've been out for two, and I need time to slow the hell down.
Us girls met through books. I sat down with Paige in the library and started chatting about the book she was reading. I had just finished it, and we must’ve talked for hours. That led to us creating a book club on campus, to which only she and Amelia showed up to. A year later, Hads joined, and the rest is history.
Books brought us together, but the bond we created over them will last a lifetime.
When I turn around and head to my table, I make eye contact with a really cute woman sitting at the end of the bar. Damn, she’s fucking hot. I check her out before I go back to my seat, and Alissa joins me a few moments later. “I forgot to ask how your freelance stuff is going. Didn't you have a project or something the other day?”
My main job is working for the top marketing firm in Virginia—Loft Media. I love my job there, the atmosphere and the people. This is all I’ve wanted to do since I started my degree. I’ve been at this job for around two years, but I do some freelance work on the side. I’ve taken my love for books and transformed that into marketing for independently published authors on social media platforms. It’s another good source of income, and I love doing it.
“It’s going really well, actually. I created an entire campaign for this author surrounding her new release next month, and she loved it. I swear, I thought she was going to cry when I showed it all to her.”
“That’s amazing, Ells. I know how hard you work, and I’m glad it’s being appreciated.” Alissa smiles at me as she grabs my hand and squeezes it. Emotions fill my chest, but I shove those down before they become anything.
“Fuck, Liss. Now is not the time to get sentimental.”
“I know. Oh, and there’s a girl at the end of the bar who's been staring at you since I sat down.” I look over, and sure enough, the girl from earlier pushes off the bar and starts walking over. Alissa slowly rises out of her chair and points toward a guy at the bar. “I’ll be over talking to that beautiful man if you need me.”
“Have fun,” I say as I sip my drink. Fuck, this girl is gorgeous.
“Is this seat taken?”
“Yes—by you.”
We start talking—Aubrey and I—and just as I think this is about to go somewhere, my phone buzzes. “Sorry, one second.” When I pull my phone out, my face falls a bit.
Lizzie: Can you take me to dance on Thursday? Dad’s car is in the shop, and I can't get a ride with Sabrina.
Lizzie: Don't tell Dad I told you about his car either. He said he’s taking care of it, but he won't have it by Thursday, and he’s working late.
Ella: Of course I can. What time?
Lizzie: Six thirty.
Ella: Okay, I can leave work early.
Lizzie: Are you sure? I’m sure I can figure something out.
Ella: Anything for you, sis. Don't worry about it. I’ll be there.
Lizzie: Okay. Thank you.
Ella: See you Thursday.
Lizzie: Love you.
Ella: Love you more!
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, but I have an early day tomorrow. So, here’s my number,” I say as I lock eyes with her. “You should use it.”
Aubrey takes the business card I hand her, smiles, and pockets it in her handbag. I smile, suddenly not feeling in the mood anymore, before I look over at Alissa. She smiles at the guy she’s talking to before I see her hand turn into a thumbs down. That one’s a no-go.
I clear my throat before I go over there and give the guy an Oscar worthy performance of some fake scenario. Whenever one of us gives the help signal, it’s the other person's job to get them out, and my favorite part is coming up with a reason to get her out of here. Putting on my best panic face, I go up to them. “Alissa, we have to go! Your brother is stuck in a mouse trap and he can't get out!”
Her eyes widen as she tries not to laugh.
“I’m serious! We have to go, or he’ll never get out! You know how stupid he is!”
“I’m so sorry, but I have to go deal with this emergency.” Alissa pats the guy on the arm before grabbing her purse.
“I totally get it. Younger siblings can be interesting sometimes.” He pulls a pen out of his jacket before writing down his phone number on a napkin. “Call me.”
Alissa pockets the napkin before I forcibly drag her from the bar, and when we get down the street, we burst out laughing. “I’m telling Leo about what you said.”
“Good. Maybe one day, he’ll actually get stuck in a mouse trap and cut off his toes.”
“Whatever you say, Ells. I’m positive he’ll love hearing that you talk about him.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m sure that’ll boost his already gigantic ego.”
“Let’s go home and watch Love Island ,” Alissa says as she shoves me in the side.
“You really know the way to my heart, Liss. This is why we don't need anybody else.”
Alissa laughs as we head back to our apartment, and I smile as the warm June wind hits my face. Why would I need anybody else when I have Alissa and the girls?
Oh yeah, sex. That’s why.
Well, there's always next time.