18. Chapter 18
18
A Date With My Dildo
College
“Alissa, I swear to all that is holy, if you leave me here with your brother of all people, one of us might end up dead.” And it’s probably going to be him .
“Look, Ells, all I need is the car. Leo can drive you home since he’s not drinking tonight.” Alissa is pleading with me to get the car since there’s a guy she wants to go home with at the Hidden Bear. I’m not about to let her get into this guy’s car, so the only option is for her to take the car we drove over in. Who knows what kind of people come to this place? Even though it is a college bar, men are fucking weird and creepy. Any one of these people could be a serial killer.
And according to Paige, you never know if someone walking by you could have killed someone. Apparently, one in seven people you pass in your life could have potentially killed someone and gotten away with it.
“If I give you the car, I’ll take an Uber home. Leo can drive home by himself or with whatever girl he picks up tonight.” I’m not about to third wheel on the way home if Leo takes me. I’m sure some girl is going to suck his face or dick while driving, and that’s not a show I want to be privy to.
“Thank you, Ells!” Alissa hugs me, and I hand her the keys. “I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow, and maybe you’ll have your own story for me…” She trails off as she looks over my shoulder. When I turn to see what she’s looking at, a very cute girl looks me up and down before winking at me.
Damn, maybe tonight isn't a total loss.
I lean against the bar and order another drink. If I’m stuck in the same vicinity as Leo Zimmerman, I’m going to need it to drown out his stare against my body—not in a sexual way, but a pissed off one. I’m sure Leo isn't happy being left here with me either.
Alissa and I came out and, of course, her stupid brother had to tag along. As if I don't see him enough already at our internship twice a week. I hate how he’s always hanging around with us, but part of me understands it.
My sister and I are as close as Alissa and Leo are. If she was a bit closer to my age, I’d probably spend as much time with her as those two do with one another.
It only annoys me because Leo is a pain in my ass at our internship and a pain in my ass whenever he’s around.
I grab my drink from the bar and head back to my table, seeing Leo sit there with some blonde on his arm. I can’t tell what they’re talking about, but when I slide into the booth across from them, she takes one look at me and leaves.
That was easy.
“Seriously?”
“What?” I ask him, a smile on my face.
He shakes his head at me. “Nothing.”
“Oh, come on. I know you’ve got something better in that tiny brain of yours. We don’t have to be civil now that your sister is gone.”
He raises his eyebrow at me. “Well, for starters, you’re dressed like it isn't fucking freezing outside.”
I look down at my outfit—a black mini skirt with stockings, a red, lacy corset top, and my black leather jacket—and I think I look great. “You act like I care what you think about me.”
“I think you secretly do, underneath all those layers of hatred and murderous glares.”
“Stop flattering yourself. I think I look nice, and so do half the people in this bar who have been giving me eyes all night.” He can’t say the same, since the girl who was over here is the first person to make contact with him all night.
He prides himself on his looks, but he should know you have to have an actual personality to make people want to go home with you, and he doesn't have one.
Well, besides being a man and an asshole.
“Well, if you did, I’d tell you I think you look like a slag in that outfit, Ella.” He takes a sip of his water while I glare at him. “But you don’t care, so who am I to say anything?”
“Fuck off,” I say as I down the rest of my drink, slam the empty glass on the table, and leave.
I grab my phone from my purse as I storm out of the bar, unwilling to listen to Leo give me his stupid and unsolicited opinions that don’t matter. I pull my phone out to text…nobody. Dammit. Paige is busy with Ames doing who knows what, and Hads is studying. Plus, I wouldn't want either of them coming to pick me up and seeing Leo here with me.
Uber it is.
I pull out the app and see how far away one is, but nothing is showing up. I know Grand Mountain is a decently small college town, but there’s usually a few running every night. Why aren't any showing up?
“Ella, let me take you home. It’s the least I can do for my sister.”
Of course it’s for Alissa. Leo Zimmerman would never do anything out of the kindness of his heart for me. “That’s okay. I wouldn't want my slutty outfit to get all over your car.”
“Look, I’m sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Just get in the fucking car and let me drive you home.”
I shove him back a bit. He’s way too in my personal space for my liking. “No.” I sway on my feet, a little tipsy.
“I’m waving a white flag here, okay? I’ll be nice. We don’t even have to speak—”
“Ideal for you, isn't it?”
“Just let me take you home safely.”
I look down at my phone again, still not seeing any Uber’s available, so I concede. “Fine. But if you piss me off, I’m tucking and rolling out of your car.”
He only smirks at me. “I’ll make sure to drive fast, then.”
Leo pulls up to my apartment building, and I have to say, that was the most civil the two of us have ever been. Granted, neither of us said a word, but I would still call it a win.
“Safe and sound. Would you look at that?”
I know he wants me to thank him, but I’m not going to. “Whatever. Do you want to come up for a drink or something?” My eyes bulge, as if I didn't know I was going to say that. I don't know why I did it. The last thing I want to do is continue being in his presence, but I couldn't stop the words as they flowed out of my mouth. Shit .
“Are you continuing our truce, or are you trying to stab me or something?”
“Well, you never know. I guess it’s a gamble.”
He doesn't answer, only turning his car off and getting out of it. He doesn't wait for me as he walks to the door to my building and waits. I have the passkey to get in, and when I scan my badge, the two of us walk up the stairs and head to my apartment.
This feels weird.
If someone asked me how I imagined tonight going, I would have told them I assumed I’d be going home with somebody and having hot sex.
But now, as I climb the stairs with Leo Zimmerman next to me, I wonder where I’ve gone wrong to end up in this situation. Though, if we’re being technical, I got myself into this situation by asking him if he wanted to come up for a drink.
Why the fuck did I do that again?
I open the door to my apartment and throw my purse on the hook before I head to the beverage cart and grab two glasses.
“Is tequila okay?”
He took his jacket off, and now he’s rolling up his sleeves. It is a bit warm in here, but for some reason, seeing Leo’s forearms is making my body feel weird. “Yeah, that’s fine.”
I pour him a shot before I hand it to him, and the two of us congregate on the couch. I grab my glass and take a sip, needing to feel something besides weird that Leo is currently sitting in my apartment.
“Why do you look so glum, Ella?”
“What?”
“You look like you’re about to burst into tears.”
I sigh before I roll my shoulders back, trying to appear more confident. “Well, I was hoping to go home with someone tonight, but things don’t always work out how we want them to.” I take another sip. “And don’t pretend like you know my emotions. It’s weird as fuck.”
“You did go home with someone.” I raise my eyebrows at him, confused. “Me.”
I shake my head. “I didn't go home with you.”
“Well, what do you call what we’re doing now?”
“Having a drink. Nothing more and nothing less,” I say as I finish mine off. “Now, drink yours so you can leave.”
“Are you trying to get rid of me?”
“Yes. I have a date with my dildo, and I’d rather you not be here for that.” I get up and place my empty glass in the sink. I’ll wash it out tomorrow. I’m too exhausted to deal with any of the dishes right now.
“Oh, do you?”
“Yes,” I say as I turn around, but he’s way closer to me than I thought. He stares at me while he takes one long sip of his tequila, and I see his throat move as he swallows.
I must be really horny, because that was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. Or maybe I’m drunk. Let’s go with that.
He sets his glass next to mine in the sink before he backs up and leans against my counter. I didn't bother turning the light on, and for some reason, that makes me all more aware of his body in my kitchen. “Can I ask you a question?”
“You just did.”
“Stop being a smart arse, Ella.”
“Fine,” I say. “But if you get one, then I get one.”
“Go ahead then. Ask me whatever it is that’s on your mind.”
I step toward him. “What is it about you that makes girls lose their panties? I’ve been racking my brain about it all semester, and I don’t get it.”
He smiles at me. “Well, besides my dick and my willingness to eat pussy, I’m not quite sure.”
“Ah, makes sense, I guess.” I roll my eyes at him, hoping he can’t see me, though I wouldn't care if he did. He sees me do it all day long at our internship while he’s sitting in on meetings and I’m running to get coffee and bagels. “What did you want to ask me? Where do I get my slutty outfits from?”
He steps closer to me, invading my personal space more than he usually does. “Did you like it when I called you that earlier?” His voice is lower than normal, and if I was clinically insane, I’d think it’s because he’s turned on.
I let out a breathy laugh. “What? No.”
He steps closer to me, and I can feel his breath on my face. “See, I think you’re lying to me.”
“I’m not lying.” I don't even believe what I’m saying. I can’t control my voice right now for some reason, and it’s pissing me off. My guard is down, and I don’t know how it got to be that way. Normally, it’s always up, always three layers thick, but something shifted tonight, and now, all my defenses are down.
He reaches an arm behind my head, and before I can register what’s happening, he takes my ponytail around his fist and pulls. A moan slips out of my mouth before I can stop it.
“See?” His lips meet the sensitive skin on my neck as he lightly bites. “I think you liked it, Ella. I think your panties got wet while you were sitting across from me, slamming your drink to stop feeling whatever it is you were.”
“I—”
He bites my neck again. “Correction, what you are feeling, right here and right now.”
“Leo,” I say as I hold onto him for dear life.
“Tell me what you need, Ella. Tell me what you want from me. You’re always willing to say something when you argue with me, so don’t get all shy on me now.”
Fuck him and his stupid fucking mouth.
I want to say no. I want to say no so badly. It’s on the tip of my tongue, but for some reason, it won’t come out.
“Ella, darling, tell me what you need,” he coaxes as he puts his hands around my thighs and lifts me onto the counter. His face is in line with mine, the two of us breathing heavily as he waits for me to answer.
All I can see is him in front of me, and it’s making my thoughts messy. I can’t think. I can’t breathe. I can’t do anything but focus on the color of his eyes. They’re brown, but not the normal chocolate color most people have. They remind me of cinnamon, and in the darkness of the kitchen, it reminds me of coming home after a cold winter day and wrapping myself up in a blanket.
“You, Leo. I want you.” I never thought I’d utter those words in my life, but it’s how I feel at this moment, and I knew if I let him walk out the door, it would piss me off even more.
That’s all it takes for his lips to meet mine. This isn't a gentle kiss. Leo knows what he wants, and what he wants right now is me. He’s devouring me, and I’d never say this out loud, but it’s one of the best kisses I’ve had in my life.
The guy fucking knows what he’s doing.
“Spread your legs, Ella,” he says between kisses.
I keep them closed. If there’s one thing I know about us—not that there’s an us—is that we will always fight with one another. Even though we’re probably about to have sex, he still has to earn it.
“Spread. Your. Fucking. Legs,” he says as his hand comes around my throat.
I can’t breathe, but I try my best to make sense when I reply. “Make me.”
He only smirks as he runs a hand through his hair. “If that’s what you want, then so be it.”
I hear a rip, and the stockings I was wearing are now partially in Leo’s hand before he leans me back on the counter, his hand still on my throat.
“Don’t move.”
I think about saying something snippy back, but I’m caught off guard when two of his fingers enter me. I can’t think. He’s going way too fucking slow, and he knows he’s teasing me.
“Leo, I—”
“Just let me take my fucking time, Ella. Be patient for once in your life.”
Then, he gets on his knees, and I feel his mouth start to circle my clit as his fingers keep pumping. This feels way too fucking good, and the fact that Leo Zimmerman is making me feel like this is something my brain can’t process.
“Oh, fuck.”
“It feels good finally giving in, doesn't it?” His voice is low, turned on, and I’ve never heard a sexier sound. Normally, that would scare me, but I don’t have the brain power to think about that right now.
Then, he starts pumping faster, licking faster, but what sends me over the edge is how he bites my clit—not too hard, not too soft. Perfectly.
I should smack him for that or something.
I’m so fucking close. I’m teetering on the edge of my orgasm, and—
He stops.
“Leo, what the fuck?”
I see him stand up, a smile on his face as he looks at me. His sleeves somehow got rolled down, so as I sit and stare at him on the counter, edged way more than I can handle, he leans back across from me. He starts rolling up his sleeves again, his forearms bulging, and my gaze trails down his arms, all the way to the fingers that were just inside me.
“I'll tell you when you can come, Ella. And you don’t deserve it yet.”
“You are so fucking infuriating—”
“Go to your room, take off your clothes, and wait for me,” he says as he starts to wash his hands and the dishes in my sink.
“What?”
“You fucking heard me, Ella. If you’re a good girl and you do what you're told, I’ll fuck you, make you scream my name, and you’ll get to come.” His eyes meet mine. “Go.”
My brain wants to deny every order he’s given me, but my legs move of their own volition toward my room. You’ll regret this tomorrow, Ella .
I know I will, but right now, I don't give a fuck.
So, I take off all my clothes and lay down in bed, and a few minutes later, Leo comes into my room. The lights are off still, but I can feel his gaze brush my entire body.
“Fucking exquisite,” he says as he grabs my ass. I’m lying on my stomach because he didn't tell me how to lay, so I chose a position comfortable for me. “You’re such a good girl, Ella. Look at you, listening to me for once.”
“Don’t get used to it.”
“Oh, I won’t, darling.” I hear the tear of foil, and my body is humming with excitement as I look back and watch him roll the condom onto his dick.
His huge dick. I’ve never taken one that big before, and of course, with a personality like his, he has the dick to back it up.
I don’t know if it being small would’ve been better or worse in this situation.
“Don’t worry, it’ll fit.”
I try to brush it off with a smile. “I wasn't worried.”
“Good,” he says, his voice tight as he thrusts into me in one go. “Fuck, you’re tight, baby.”
“Just keep moving, Leo,” I tell him, not wanting him to know how much he’s affecting me. I can barely fucking breathe as it is.
And so, he does. Leo fucks me hard, the only sounds I can hear is my ass slapping against him and our pants and moans as we fuck.
God, it feels so good. So fucking good.
“Do you hear us together, Ella? Do you hear how much your pussy loves me?”
“Y-Yes,” I say as he keeps thrusting. I’m surprised he never wavers; most guys can’t handle more than a few pumps. I’ve had some shitty hookups, and this one is blowing all of those out of the water.
My orgasm has been building since he stopped fingering me in the kitchen, and I’m so goddamn close to just letting go.
But I can’t.
“Can I come?” I whisper, breathless from all the things I’m feeling.
Leo keeps thrusting, and just as I think he didn't hear me, he answers, “Yes, Ella, you can.”
And that’s all it takes for me to finally let go.
“Scream my name, Ella. Let everyone know who’s doing this to you.”
“Leo, fuck!” It just slips out.
“Ella. God, Ella,” he says, his dick pulsing in my pussy as he comes.
And as the two of us come down from our highs, I can barely register what happens before I fall asleep.
I wake up with legs tangled in mine.
And when I see Leo Zimmerman sleeping next to me, the memories of last night hitting me like a train, all I want to do is cry.
I can’t believe we did what we did .
What the hell is wrong with me? Did I really have to stoop so low and have sex with the one person on this planet I can’t stand? The one person who gets under my skin and pushes every button because he knows how much it annoys me?
Oh, what the fuck have I done?
I’m such a fucking idiot.
My phone starts to buzz, and I reach for it where it’s plugged in.
Hads: Are we still on for coffee this morning?
Fuck. Hads and I always have coffee every Sunday. It’s this tradition we started this semester because of everything going on with her and Grant. I thought she could use it to talk through her feelings, since I know she struggles with that.I go to answer her, but Leo moves, and I’m jolted back into what we did last night.
This didn't mean anything. I’m just another girl Leo fucked. I’m no different than the other girls he takes home for one night, and I don’t know why it’s throwing me off so much.
Because you let your guard down last night .
I did, didn't I? And what good did that do for me? All it ended up getting me was fucked by the one person I hate the most. I feel like a fucking idiot, like a fool.
I let Leo Zimmerman sweet talk his way up to my apartment, and I let my guard down. Nothing is going to change between us. When he wakes up, he’ll still despise me, and I still hate him, no matter if we had sex and said all those things we did.
None of it meant anything, just like it means nothing with everyone else we fuck.
Checking the time, I realize I don’t have long before I have to meet Hads, so I slide out of bed, take the quickest shower of my life, and make myself look decently presentable.
The look of embarrassment on my face is the shining star of my outfit today, and I hope I can hide it from Hads so she doesn't ask me about it.
Leo still isn't awake when I’m ready to leave, so I write him a note to let himself out and hope by the time I’m back from coffee, he’s not here.
I don’t want to talk about last night. I don’t want to acknowledge what we did. I just want things to go back to normal.
I know one thing for sure: I’ll never allow anything like that to happen between us again.