33. Chapter 33
33
Come Here, Darling
Thanksgiving
“I thought we were having a roast today, sis?”
She only shakes her head as she traipses around my new place. “We are, but that’s for dinner. I’m going to make some tea to go with these scones and biscuits I made.”
“Fine by me,” I tell her as I unpack a few of the boxes that still sit in my living room. “So, how has life been at the flat now that I’m gone? Are you two bored without me?” I don’t know why I asked. It has only been a week.
“It’s been quiet, actually. Quite nice.” She smiles at me as she grabs a bunch of shit out of the box she brought over.
“Sis, I told you I had pots and pans. Why did you bring your own?”
“I didn't believe you when you said that, Leo.”
“What am I going to do with two of the same pan then, Liss?”
She shrugs her shoulders at me. “Use one for you and one for your one-night stands.”
I fake laughter as I go back to unpacking the books and shit Holt bought to make me appear more sophisticated—whatever that means. I told him I didn't need help with that, and he only laughed in my face.
Grant and Oliver bought me a brand new chess board, and the fact that it has been sitting in a box in my living room makes me mad. Something as beautiful as that shouldn't be in a box. It’s one of my main display pieces in my living room, and I even bought a table and two chairs in order to display it properly.
I don’t know many people who play chess, but Grant told me he would learn so he could play with me. He has a lot of time now, since he’s out of work from his accident.
When my sister told me Grant had been in a car accident, I was worried. I almost grabbed my phone to call Ella and ask how he was that night, but I decided not to.
She told me he was doing okay when we worked late, but I wish I could see him for myself. I care about the lad, and I want to know he’s actually alright.
“Here,” Alissa says as she sets a mug down for me on the counter.
“Thanks,” I say as I walk over to my kitchen. I take a sip, and it feels like I stepped back home. My favorite kind of tea is the Royal Blend tea by Fortnum and Mason, and since they don’t sell that in the States, our parents sent both Alissa and I care packages with our favorite things.
My sister is insane and prefers her tea strong, so as she pours milk into her mug, she keeps the bag in it. I prefer mine a bit weaker, and all Alissa has done our entire lives is make fun of me for it. She says I’m weaker than she is, but as she squeezes her bag, I cringe.
“You’re bloody insane, Liss.”
“Just say you’re weak, Leo, and we can be done with this conversation.” She smiles at me as she stirs.
I shift the conversation all too quickly. “So what’s new?”
She eyes me curiously. “Why do you care so much? You just moved out. Not much has changed. Though, I do think Ella is seeing someone.”
That peaks my interest. “Oh, really?” I lean forward on my elbows. “Do tell, sis.”
She sees right through my bullshit. “I know you don’t care about her, but Ella has been unusually chipper lately.”
Is that so? “Well, best of luck to whoever the fucker is.” Me. It’s me, and I don’t know why the thought excites me so much. Maybe it’s because of the sneaking around we’ve been doing, but this sex pact has definitely improved my mood recently.
My sister rolls her eyes at me. “Can you at least pretend to be happy for her? You guys didn't kill one another while living together, so if I’m not an idiot, you’ve become friends.”
“We’re not—”
“Okay, well, you don’t hate each other anymore. At least, I don’t think you do, so what would you call that?”
“Coworkers? Acquaintances?”
“Sure.” Alissa pats my shoulder. “Whatever you say.”
“Can we have dinner now? I’m fucking starved, sis.”
She moves back around the counter, opening my oven and pulling out the roast as well as some potatoes and a bunch of other mixed vegetables. “Yes, and to stay true to the holiday, we have to be thankful while we eat it.”
“I’m thankful you did all of the cooking, because I didn't want to.”
She smiles at me. “Just grab a plate, Leo, and let's ring our parents before they go to sleep.”
“On it,” I smile, thankful that even an ocean away, we’re able to be together, even if today is an American holiday.
A few hours of unpacking and organizing are interrupted by frantic knocks on my door. I’m not sure who it is, but I’m guessing it’s my sister, since she left a bunch of her cooking shit here.
I saunter to my front door, and when I open it, the last person I ever expected to see is in front of it.
“What are you doing here?” I refrain from any sarcastic comments because she doesn't look okay. Her eyes are red, and Alissa told me she was supposed to be with her family today like she always is.
“I’m here to have sex, Leo. Can I come in?” Ella asks, her voice raw and scratchy.
Her comment throws me off. “Uh, sure,” I say as I open the door wider. She walks by me, barely sparing me a glance as she takes in my place. She and my sister helped me move in last week, and Ella made a comment about that being the first and only time she’d be in my new place.
I guess she was wrong.
Ella starts to take off her shirt, but I rush her, stopping her hands where they are.
“What?” she snaps at me.
“Are you okay?” She looks at me like my question is unwarranted. “Did something happen tonight?”
Her eyes sadden, but she brushes it off and tries to look okay, though I know she’s not.
“Nothing happened. I came over to have sex, not to talk about my feelings. Are we doing this or what?”
“Ella, you don’t seem okay.”
She shakes my grip out of hers like I caught her on fire. “I’m fine, Leo!” Her hand brushes through her hair as she takes a deep breath. “I’m fine.”
I step toward her, relieved she doesn't move back from me as my hand cups her cheek. “No, you’re not. Here,” I say as I grab her hand and lead her to my couch. “Sit down. I’ll get you some water.”
“I didn't come here to be waited on hand and foot. I came here to fuck.”
I grab a bottle from my fridge and head back to where she sits, her mind running at a thousand miles per hour. I can tell because she can’t look me in the eye, and she’s not her usual snappy self. She looks defeated, and it’s pissing me off that I don’t know why.
I want to fix it for her, but I know she’d bite my hand off if I offered. Ella never needs anyone’s help. She never needs anyone to fight her battles for her.
But God, I want to show her it’s okay if she does occasionally.
“We’re not having sex, Ella. Not when you’re like this.”
“Leo, this was our deal, remember?”
I nod.
“Then why won’t you man up and fuck me? I showed up here practically begging, and you still won’t touch me.”
I take one of her hands in mine, nervous she’s going to slap me with the other one, but she doesn't. “If you don’t want to talk about what happened tonight, then we don’t have to.”
Her shoulders sag, as if there’s a heavy weight attached to them. “I don’t want to.”
“Then let me run you a bath or something.”
That makes her all flustered. “No, Leo. We don’t do shit like this.” She starts to get off my couch. “If we’re not going to have sex, then I’ll leave.”
I grab her arm as she tries to get past me. “Please stay, Ella.”
“Why?” she whispers, as if she didn't mean to say that.
I don't really have an answer as to why I want to do all of this for her, but it seems like the right thing to do. Something happened tonight that shook her. She has never looked so unsure of herself then she does now. I’m not even sure she meant to come over here.
She came here to fuck away whatever problem she had tonight. She wanted to use me as a distraction from whatever was going on, and normally, I’d be all for that.
But her showing up here tonight feels different, and for the first time ever, I want to prove to her I’m more than just one night. But if I tell her that, she might sprint out of here, so I say the next best thing.
“I don’t want you driving in the state you’re in. You could get hurt, and we don’t need another person in the hospital because of a car accident.”
She knows I’m referencing Grant, and as she goes through all her options in her head, she nods.
“Okay.”
I snake my hand around her waist as I stand, handing her the water I grabbed her. “Drink this, sit down, and I’ll get a bath ready. Does that sound okay?”
She can only nod, her eyes focused on where my hand rests against her skin. “I’m sorry if I ruined your night.”
I grab her chin with my hand. “You didn't ruin anything. It’s okay to admit you needed me tonight.”
She rolls her eyes at me. There she is . “You wish, Zimmerman.”
“Should I put the temperature to scalding hot? That’s what you're used to down in the depths of hell, right?”
For the first time tonight, she smiles at me. “Yes, actually. That would be great, asshole.”
I smirk to myself as I head to draw her a bath. My sister got me a giant welcome basket for my place, and one thing she included was this thing that makes bubbles or something. I told her I wasn't a bath guy, and she told me everyone needs a good soak every once in a while.
Since I’m not going to use it, Ella might as well. Plus, if it makes her forget a bit about tonight, my mission will be accomplished.
After making sure the water is hot, I head back out to my living room where Ella’s sitting, staring out the huge glass windows that look over the city.
“It’s a nice view, isn't it?”
She turns to look at me. “Yes, it is.”
“Come here, darling,” I say as she stares at me, those big brown eyes gleaming underneath the lights.
To my surprise, she rushes me, and I almost fall over because of how strong she runs into me. Her arms go around me, and for this moment, we’re not two people who hate one another.
We’re something different. This is uncharted territory for us, and I’m unsure how to navigate it, but I know that after tonight, neither of us are going to mention it again.
“I ruined everything,” she says into my chest.
That makes me squeeze her a little harder. “It’s okay.”
She shakes her head. “It’s not, but I appreciate what you’re doing.”
“And what am I doing?”
“Helping me through it.”
“Just because we fight and bicker all the time doesn't mean I don’t care about you, Ella.”
I swear, I feel her eyes roll as she detaches from me, her arms going around her body as if she’s feeling shy all of the sudden. Sure, the girl can walk in here and ask to fuck me no problem, but having conversations that involve emotions is where she gets shy.
“There’s a towel for you in the warmer, and a robe too.”
“Thank you,” she says, looking like there’s more about to come out of her mouth, but she spins around and heads for the bath. She stops in the doorway. “Will you join me?”
Not can I. Will I.
“Sure,” I say as I shove my hands in my pockets and head toward her.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to jump you. I just… I don’t think I can be alone right now.”
And yet, she could’ve gone to one of her friends' places, but she drove here. She drove to me. God, tonight is fucking with my head.
This girl could ruin my life if I let her, but Ella and I would never cross that line. We would never work either, not with the constant bickering between us—we would drive each other mad. But seeing her like this makes something bloom in my chest, and if I’m only able to be like this with her for one night, I’ll take it.
Because eventually, she’ll move on, and so will I. Our sex pact will end, and the two of us will go back to being coworkers who argue and threaten to kill one another.
The only difference now is that I know what she looks like naked. Not just with her clothes off, but with all her defenses down, and underneath all of the confidence and eye rolls is a girl who wants to be seen. To be wanted. To be needed.
Just like me . All I’ve ever wanted is for someone to want me for more than one night, for longer than it takes for me to get them off. But that could never be us, because when all is said and done, Ella will warm the sheets of another person, and I’ll be alone.
But as I climb into the tub and fasten myself behind her, trying not to think too much about how perfectly she fits against me, part of me thinks maybe, if I play everything right, I can have more nights like this.
I know the hope in my heart is all for nothing.
“Is this okay?” I ask her.
“Mhm,” is all she says as she nestles against my chest, her curly hair sticking to my skin.
I brush her hair out of her face, my hand massaging the delicate skin around her neck and back.
It’s criminal I only see her like this every once in a while. Her guard is always up at work until I break it down through our bickering. I like seeing her with no armor, with nothing between us. Because even though I like seeing her fire, I like it even more when it’s on a low simmer—when it’s just beginning to spark.
I feel like I’m going crazy, and every touch of her skin is causing all these emotions to stir inside me.
Gone are the feelings I’m not good enough. Gone is the guilt I feel for being away from my parents. Somehow, while Ella and I connect in a different way, I feel like everything is going to be okay.
With her in my arms, how could it fucking not be?
I lean down to her ear as her eyes flutter. “Stay the night with me.” Her eyes are wide open now, surprised by my statement. It wasn't a question, and she knows it. It was more like a plea, because I don’t want whatever is going on tonight to end.
“Leo…”
God, I could hear my name on her lips like that for the rest of eternity.
“Please, Ella. Just let me hold you and shield you from whatever is hurting you tonight.” The next words come out roughly. “Just for tonight.”
She turns her head to look me in my eyes, wanting assurance the two of us can keep whatever this is to one singular night.
“Why are you doing this for me?”
Because you’re always too busy taking care of others to remember you exist too. Because someone needs to take care of you for once, and I know if I said that to you, you’d deny it, so this is the only way I can do that.
“Because I want to.”
After another hour of me stealing as many touches as I can, her head starts to dip, the exhaustion or adrenaline from whatever happened tonight finally getting to her. I sit both of us up, grab her in both of my arms, and lift her out of the tub as it drains.
“I can do it myself, Leo.”
I grab her a towel from the warmer. “I know you can, darling.” I wrap it around her, tucking part of it in so it doesn't fall. “But it doesn't mean you have to.”
To my surprise, she doesn't fight me. Ella’s lips only turn up as she stands and looks at herself in the mirror. I wonder what she sees right now.
Because when I look at her like this, all I see is strength.
I head out to my room that’s barely unpacked or organized and throw on some sweats, grabbing a pair of boxers and a shirt for her to wear. When I get back into the bathroom, I set it on the counter, but she’s in the same position she was in when I left.
“What’s got your mind all up in arms, Ella? And how can I help to soothe it?”
“You’ve done more than enough.” She spots the clothes I brought her. “Thank you.”
I grab the shirt from where I set it and start to unfold it.
“I—”
“Let me take care of you tonight. You can go back to fighting your own battles tomorrow.” I shove the shirt over her head before she has a chance to say anything else, and when I get on my knees and hold the shorts out, she steps into them.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
“Sorry, what was that?”
“Thank you, Leo. Don’t get used to hearing that.”
I shake my head at her. “I won’t.”
I grab her hand and lead her over to my bed. “Do you need anything before bed? Your phone? Anything in your purse?”
“No. My phone’s off, and I told your sister I was staying over at my dad’s.” She flinches when she says the word dad , so I assume something happened tonight with her family. I can’t imagine what. Ella has always been ride or die for the people she cares about, and I hope whatever happened tonight is fixable.
Knowing her, it will be. Ella can do anything she sets her mind to. I’ve seen it firsthand.
I climb onto my bed, pulling the sheets back so the two of us can get in. I open my arms for her in case she wants to come closer to me—in case she needs me.
To my surprise, she accepts, her cold body pressing against mine as if we weren't in a scalding bath for an hour and a half. As she dozes off against my chest, I try not to latch onto the possibility that this could be the start of something new for us.
Because when she wakes up tomorrow, she’ll leave. And I’ll get up and workout like I always do, trying to pretend like tonight never happened.
Ella’s still asleep, but I’ve been tossing and turning all night. I’m way too wound up, and even though I denied her an orgasm last night, I feel like this morning, I should make up for the egregious error.
It was the right call, though, and I stand by my decision to not fuck her while she was way too emotionally fragile. Now that it’s morning, I don’t give a fuck. She’s going to leave anyway. I might as well leave both of us sated, right? What’s better than starting your day off with sex?
As she stirs awake, I straddle her beautiful body before I slide the shorts I gave her off and start to tease her center. She’s slick in seconds, and as her eyes open fully and connect with mine, she smiles.
I never expected that to be her facial expression after waking up in my bed. I hate that it makes my chest hurt.
“Please don’t stop on my account,” she mumbles, her voice still groggy.
“Put your legs up on my shoulders,” I tell her, about to grab a condom from my side table before she stops me.
“I have an IUD,” she tells me.
“I know, but you were the one who said—”
She rolls her eyes. “I know I was, but I’m changing my mind. People are allowed to do that, you know.”
Always fucking fighting me . “Are you sure?”
She’s looking right at me when she answers. “Yes, Leo.”
God, I used to hate my first name, you know? I used to hate that it was just Leo—it’s not short for anything. Growing up, I always wanted to change it. But hearing the way it rolls off her tongue, especially when she’s whispering it like a prayer, is one of the best things I’ve ever heard.
“Then lay back and let me take care of you.” I slide out of my clothes as she settles on the bed, all her clothes now discarded across my room.
She’s fucking perfect, and I’ll never get tired of seeing her like this.
I try not to think too hard that, after this, there will only be one more time between us, but it definitely annoys me.
I take my time with her, kissing my way up her exquisite thighs as I get to her pussy. I take a few languid licks, getting her ready so she can take me, edging her a little bit, because it’s fun to watch her squirm under my touch.
“Leo…” she warns me, and I don’t think twice before I grab her legs and lift them onto my shoulders, giving me perfect access to slide right into her.
Her pussy squeezes me perfectly , and as I slowly thrust in and out of her, I take my time memorizing every noise she makes, everything her body loves that I do to her. I’m not going to have her after this, but I can have the memory of her.
And that has to be enough.
“Lift that pretty head of yours, Ella. Look at how good we look together,” I say as I slide in and out of her, increasing my pace as she looks at where we’re joined. “Good girl, listening to me for once.”
“Just don't stop, Leo.”
I reach down and cup her neck, forcing her gaze to stay on where I fuck her. “I won't, darling.”
God, she’s a fucking dream. I swear, it could be since I barely slept last night, but the feel of her is too real to be pretend.
Ella drags her hand down to her clit, rubbing the swollen nub as I continue to fuck her, changing my pace because I know how fucking crazy it makes her. She wants to come so bad, but I’m not done with her yet.
“You’re not allowed yet, Ella.”
“You don't tell me what to—”
I move my hand from behind her neck to in front of it. “Want to try that again?”
She gives me a glare before shaking her head.
“Good,” I say, quickening my thrusts. I’m pounding into her, but somehow, it’s not enough. “Eyes on me.”
She complies, and when I see her looking at me, face filled with lust and pleasure, I start to unravel. Seeing her eyes on me while I fuck her is doing things to my composure, and I suddenly have none of it as I lift her hips up and hit a deeper spot.
“Fuck!” she cries out. “Leo, please, please.”
Feeling her with nothing on my dick, with nothing between us, is a different sensation than I’ve experienced before. I’ve never done this with anyone before. I never trusted any of them since it was one night, but with Ella, this feels like a huge step. Towards what, I have no fucking clue, but the way this feels is going to ruin me forever.
I’ll never feel anything this good ever again, and I’d think this was some sort of prank if I didn't have the conversation with Ella about it before I slid into her.
Everything is heightened, every push into her feels like the first fucking time, and don’t even get me started on how tight she feels wrapped around me.
It’s unforgettable, and right now, Ella feels like the first sip of something dangerous I haven't felt in a long time.
Her screams bring me out of my thoughts of how good this feels, and as she chants my name, her release coating my cock as I pump in and out of her, I start to unravel.
“Do you like how I fill you, Ella?”
“Yes, Leo. Please, come inside me.”
Fucking hell . That’s all it takes, that one sentence making my balls tighten, and I follow her instructions and fill her with my cum.
A few minutes later, after our hazes subside and I see my cum leaking from her pussy, I’m ready to go again. God, I’ve never seen such a magnificent sight—Ella, on my bed, naked, my cum sliding out of her.
I take two fingers, slide them through our mixed releases, and shove it back inside her.
“Didn't want to stain your sheets?” she asks me.
Yeah, let’s go with that. “It is a high thread count.”
“I barely noticed a difference.”
I roll my eyes at her, grabbing my clothes from where I threw them, watching her as she does the same thing, her legs shaking ever so slightly.
“Do you want breakfast?” I ask, knowing what her answer is going to be already.
She looks awkward, almost shy, as she answers, her hand around her neck as she looks around for her things. “I’m, uh, meeting Hads and Grant this morning.”
“Got it,” I say, a little disappointed, but I knew it was coming. Ella and I don’t do shit like this. Just because last night happened doesn't mean anything like this will become the norm between us.
She clears her throat, as if she’s going to say something, but she decides against it as she turns and runs out of my bedroom. A few seconds later, I hear my front door slam closed.
Not wanting to feel however I am after all that transpired the past two days, I head out of my room and down to the gym, needing to run out whatever stupid feelings have started to creep into my mind.