16 The Morning After
The Morning After
A gentle hand on my shoulder roused me from my sleep. My eyes took some time to adjust to the light and recognise the face peering at me.
‘Hey,’ he said, standing next to the bed.
‘Mmmm,’ I mumbled, last night’s slumber still weighing heavily on my eyelids.
He bent down to remove a strand of hair from my face, pausing when the palm of his hand rested against my mouth. Instinctively, I kissed it.
‘I really have to rush right now,’ he said, gently withdrawing his hand. ‘But I’ll call you later and we’ll talk properly, okay?’
I hugged a pillow tightly, trying to hold on to the snuggly feeling I’d woken up with.
‘What time is it?’ I asked, as he sat down on the bed to slide his feet into his shoes.
The fact that he was fully clothed made me want to pull the covers all the way up to my neck to hide my own nakedness.
‘It’s 8:30,’ he said, twisting his torso to look at me. ‘You should rest until check-out. You need it.’
I smiled lazily at him, closing my eyes to welcome the tiny kiss he planted on my forehead. I slipped back into a deep slumber, allowing myself a few extra hours before having to acknowledge the reality of what had happened between the two of us.
But when my alarm blared at 11:30 a.m., I knew I could no longer afford to do so. Waking up alone in the bed the two of us had shared, paired with my hangover anxiety, had sliced through the heart of my previously dreamy morning. Images from last night flashed in quick succession before my eyes.
The dark parking lot. Our first kiss. The car.
The nerve-racking walk to my room. This room.
Our clothes flying, his amused expression when he couldn’t figure out how to undo my badly worn sari, the tie around his neck with which I had pulled him into a kiss.
The way he’d thrown me on the bed, the weight of his body on top of mine and how his skin had felt against my own.
No. Stop.
I pulled the covers over my face, groaning loudly.
What had I done?
Not only had I slept with the enemy, I’d also bloody well enjoyed it. But that wasn’t the worst of it. A string of messages was waiting for me on my phone. They were all from Madhav.
I tried to drown out my groans by holding a pillow firmly over my face.
It didn’t help. The repercussions of last night’s escapade were hitting me with full force, and I could do nothing to stop it from happening.
My head was reeling with thoughts I didn’t know how to make sense of, let alone process.
How had this happened? And why did something that had seemed so inconceivable up until yesterday feel so natural today?
It was as if my body had known all along that this day would come, but it had forgotten to let my brain in on the secret.
What was I supposed to do now? Go about my day as if I hadn’t just had passionate, burning sex with the man I’d been hating for the past couple of months?
A call from the check-out desk gave me the push I needed to get out of bed.
It was Sunday, the only day I had for myself before getting back to the office.
There were things I wanted to do that didn’t involve stressing over the guy I had slept with or the one I had wronged.
Like go home and have a meal with my parents for the first time in days.
And drag myself to V’s boutique’s launch party, the one I had decorated.
After the mayhem of the past week, I deserved to switch my brain off for a while.
This, whatever it was, would have to wait.
I was entranced with Kavita Aunty’s cocktail gown.
It was a brilliant shade of sapphire blue, with ruffle sleeves and a deep, sensual back.
For the life of me, I couldn’t imagine my mother in a garment like that.
But then again, our mothers couldn’t have been more different.
Mine was a stay-at-home mom who had always put her family above everything else, while the woman in front of me was hugely successful and fiercely independent.
My mom was warm and comforting, while V’s mother was a figure of intimidation and respect.
That’s probably why they’d never struck up a friendship, even after having known each other through their daughters for two decades.
‘Hey, you,’ V said, having discovered my invisible corner. ‘What are you doing?’
I was strategically avoiding the thoughts screaming for my attention by thinking about nugatory things and guzzling down glasses of champagne. So far, it was working.
‘I’m enjoying the party,’ I lied.
It had been over an hour since I’d arrived at the boutique, and instead of socialising with the guests and taking feedback on the decor, I’d planted myself in a corner, hoping that the frown on my face would kill any shot at friendly exchanges with strangers.
‘Come on, I want to introduce you to some people,’ V said as she tugged on my arm. ‘They’ve been gushing over what you’ve done with the place.’
When I refused to budge, she creased her forehead with concern and asked, ‘Is everything all right?’
I waved her away, swaying slightly. ‘I just need to get another drink.’
She lowered her chin, tilting her head to one side. ‘You’ve had a lot already, Annie. You sure you’re okay?’
‘I’m fiiiine,’ I said, forcing myself to hold her gaze for a few seconds. ‘I’m just celebrating.’
She nodded at that and gave me an apprehensive smile.
I thrust my phone into her hand and left to fetch my fifth glass of champagne.
Away from the safety of my corner, I had no choice but to smile at the people who acknowledged my presence.
V’s mother pulled me into a conversation with a group of older women, introducing me and crediting me for the work I’d put in.
Spaced out as I was, I could only manage a few pleasantries before excusing myself from the lot.
When I returned to V, she was reading something on my phone, engrossed.
‘Hey!’ I said, snatching it from her.
A new message from Aadar was waiting for me on the screen.
‘Don’t do that,’ I said crossly.
She narrowed her eyes at me and asked, ‘What happened last night?’
I sighed and said, ‘Nothing.’
‘Seriously?’ I could tell she was beginning to get upset. ‘Tell me or I’ll DM him and ask myself.’
‘Jesus Christ,’ I said, throwing my hands up in the air. ‘I slept with him, okay?’
My voice shot up in the end, and from the corner of my eye, I saw a lady in a red sari look briefly but curiously in our direction.
‘Slept with whom?’ someone asked from behind me.
V’s wide-eyed expression confirmed the voice I was too scared to identify on my own.
When I finally gathered the courage to turn, Madhav was already making his way through the crowd towards the door. I rushed after him, almost spilling my drink on an uncle who was walking in the opposite direction.
The air outside was thick with humidity, making it stuffier to be in the open than in a room with thirty people.
‘Madhav, wait!’ I had to raise my voice to be heard over the commotion of the street.
He stopped walking away and turned to face me but refused to look me in the eye.
‘What?’ he demanded.
‘How … uh what are you doing here?’ I asked, rubbing my forehead with my free hand.
‘You weren’t texting me back and I was worried,’ he scoffed, shuffling his feet. ‘So I asked your friend if I could come here.’
‘I …’ I began, searching for the right words. ‘I needed some time.’
‘To fuck other people,’ he said bitterly. ‘Yes, I got that now.’
I wanted to resent him for his crudeness, but I couldn’t. This was all my fault and there was no denying it.
‘It wasn’t like that …’ my voice faded out with the realisation that there was nothing I could say right now that wouldn’t sound insincere.
His shoulders were tense, his stance aggressive.
You’ve only known him for a few days, a part of my brain was trying to console me. He’s overreacting.
Even so, it pained me to know that I’d hurt him. I could’ve handled this better. I could’ve returned his calls. I could’ve been honest about my feelings. I could’ve done pretty much anything but sleep with another man and then avoid him afterwards.
‘Were you,’ he said as he cleared his throat, ‘just planning on ghosting me?’
‘No, God, no … I just needed some—’
‘Some time.’ He let out a humourless laugh and said, ‘Right.’
He shook his head at me in a way that made me feel really, really small. And without another word, he spun on his heel and left.
I stood there, frozen, feeling as though I’d been punched in the gut. An autorickshaw honked loudly at me, and I stumbled out of the way. I sat down on the steps of the new and improved Akira Couture and downed my drink. The door opened next to me and V emerged.
‘What’s going on, Annie?’ she wanted to know.
‘Why didn’t you tell me Madhav was coming?’ I asked, trying to comprehend how I’d found myself in such a messy situation.
She smoothed her skirt and sat down next to me.
‘He texted me, and I thought it’d be a nice surprise,’ she said, shrugging her shoulders defensively.
‘You should’ve asked me,’ I said, looking down at the pearled heels I’d worn to match my white cut-out jumpsuit.
‘Unbelievable.’ V was shaking her head.
‘What?’ I demanded.
When she just continued to look away, I jerked her elbow towards me. ‘Tell me.’
She opened her mouth to let out a short, heavy sigh, as if she was getting ready to say something that had been bothering her for a while. ‘You don’t tell me anything about your life and then you expect me to know what the right thing to do is?’
‘That’s not—’ She didn’t let me finish.
‘You didn’t even tell me about you and Aadar .’ Her voice rose when she said his name.
‘There was nothing to tell!’
‘Oh please,’ she said. ‘You’ve been acting strangely secretive ever since you met him.’ She began counting things off her fingers. ‘You lie to me to go hang out with him and your phone constantly has texts and calls from him.’