16 The Morning After #2
I opened my mouth to explain but she cut me off again. ‘And don’t say it’s for work. I know you’ve been dating him … or screwing him or whatever,’ she said.
‘That’s not it at all.’ My voice was drowned out amid her accusing rant.
‘You know I wouldn’t judge you if you’ve been two-timing him,’ she was saying. ‘I just can’t understand why you’d hide it from me .’
Her voice cracked at the last word and she stopped talking, breathless.
The noise of the street stood out in contrast with the weighty silence between me and my best friend. The champagne high I’d been enjoying for the last hour was threatening to come crashing down in waves.
‘There’s nothing between Aadar and me.’
When she scoffed in disbelief, I took a deep breath and continued, ‘Or at least, there wasn’t, until last night. We saw so much of each other because … well, we’d made a bet.’
V raised her eyebrows at me, as if she hadn’t expected me to say such an odd thing. ‘A bet?’
‘Yes,’ I said begrudgingly, knowing how stupid I must sound to her. ‘A bet to see who could find love first.’
‘That’s hilarious,’ she said, letting out a snigger through her teeth. ‘Wait, are you serious?’
I lightly slapped my thighs with the palm of my hands, saying, ‘See, this is why I didn’t tell you.’
‘Because I’d try to talk some sense into you?’ Her big brown eyes were wide with annoyance.
‘Because you wouldn’t understand.’ I felt myself erupting as I exclaimed, ‘You never do!’
It was my turn to unload on her.
‘You’ve got everything, V.’ The words began to tumble out of me.
‘Your life is a fucking fairytale. You’ve got the boyfriend, the looks, the money …
everything comes easy to you. I can’t compete with that.
I can’t listen to you lecture me about how to better my shitty life when you’ve been handed all of it on a goddamn silver platter. ’
‘What the fuck are you talking about?’ She leaned forward, her breath coming out in short, furious gasps.
‘I can’t explain any better,’ I said and looked away.
‘Try.’ She reached out for my arm. ‘I’m your best friend, for fuck’s sake.’
I continued to avoid her eye, aware that I wouldn’t be able to say what I wanted if our gaze locked.
‘You’re my only friend.’ My voice was low, devoid of any emotion. ‘There’s a difference.’
She stared at me as a look of acute pain overshadowed her sharp features. Then, shrugging it off, she got up, dusted herself and went inside.
Instead of following her into the boutique, I crossed the road, hailed an auto and got in.
‘Hauz Khas,’ I told the driver, who sped up almost immediately.
I could think of only one thing to prevent the force of what had just happened from hitting me. I dialled a number on my phone. He picked up after a few seconds.
‘Hello … hi.’ Aadar’s voice was barely audible over the peak hour South Delhi traffic.
‘Can you meet me right now?’ I asked, slapping my hair back into a ponytail. ‘I can come over.’
‘Um …’ I could hear faint chatter behind him as he said, ‘I’m actually at my parents’ place tonight. I was hoping to talk to you over the phone.’
‘I was hoping to do anything but talk.’
I knew sex was not the answer to my problems. If anything, it would probably lead to newer problems. But I’d just snubbed two people I cared about in one night, and I needed an outlet for the guilt that was beginning to eat away at me. I needed to feel desired. I needed to be held.
He cleared his throat, sounding uncomfortable. ‘Ananya … I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have done that.’
Removing the phone from my ear, I stared at his name flashing on my screen. ‘Done what?’
‘Uh …’
‘Kissed me?’ I asked, feeling the bile rise in my throat.
‘Yes …’ The discomfort in his voice was all too obvious.
‘Come up to my room? Taken off my clothes? Put your dick inside—’
‘Ananya!’ he said my name like he was scolding a teenager for saying something impolite at a family dinner.
I fell silent, my back hitting the lightly cushioned seat of the auto as it rode over pothole after pothole.
Had I spent any amount of time today analysing the events of last night and this morning, I could’ve saved myself the embarrassment of this conversation.
But instead, I’d spent the entire day avoiding my thoughts and compromising my senses.
Serves you right , I thought to myself.
‘I’m about to get engaged.’ It took him a while to say the words. ‘Last night should not have happened.’
‘But it did.’ My voice was small.
Wait, did he say he was engaged?
‘I know. I fucked up. That whole bet thing … it just screwed my head up. It made everything so exciting … I guess I forgot what was on the line.’ I could hear him pacing on the other end.
‘The bet, right,’ I said. ‘I get it.’
He was engaged. To be married.
‘It was so silly and immature. What were we thinking?’ he said, letting out an uncertain laugh, like he was hoping I’d join in.
Had he left so hurriedly in the morning to meet the girl he was marrying? After making love to me all night?
‘I don’t know. Let’s just call it off,’ I said, my mouth on autopilot while my brain computed the information I was being given.
‘Yes, exactly. The bet is off,’ he said, sounding relieved. ‘Besides, we both won.’
‘Huh?’
‘I’m getting engaged to Sneha … and you’ve got that guy …’
‘Madhav,’ I offered when he failed to come up with a name.
‘Yes,’ he said, forcing cheeriness into his voice. ‘It’s kind of perfect, if you think about it.’
It’s an absolute fucking disaster , I wanted to scream at him, and it’s all your bloody fault.
I’d had the ugliest fight with my best friend in years. I’d ruined my shot with a guy who may have actually liked me for who I was. All because of the fucking bet.
But I couldn’t tell him any of that. Because if I did, he’d know he had won. Not only had he managed to find himself a wife, but he had also successfully played me in the process. It was an epic win for him and a shameful loss for me. There was no way I was letting him bask in that knowledge.
‘So … we’re good?’ he asked me as the auto pulled over in front of his house.
I cursed under my breath. I’d forgotten I’d told the driver to bring me here.
‘We’re perfect,’ I said and hung up, leaving no room for goodbyes.
I got out of the auto, paid the driver all the change I had, and stood under Aadar’s apartment building, waiting for my Uber to take me home.