Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
The flash of the camera blinded Nico.
“Turn to your right,” the police officer demanded.
Nico did as instructed and stared blankly ahead at the two-way mirror in front of him.
“Turn to your left,” the officer said.
Nico rotated a hundred and eighty degrees and as a blue light lit up the side of his face, he wondered how he got here.
Nico sat in the passenger seat with his head propped against the window as the sun rose on the horizon.
The long stretch of highway raced by him, the Orlando skyline a blur.
He wanted to blame Cooper fucking Callahan so damn bad, but Cooper didn’t make him have three too many drinks.
Cooper didn’t make him take some girl home from the bar.
Cooper didn’t push the start button on the car.
Cooper had done a lot of things, but making Nico do the one thing he swore he’d never do wasn’t one.
Natalie didn’t say much on the long drive home, not until they merged off the highway. “Your friend was picked up by her sister.”
“She’s not my friend,” Nico groaned.
“Pretty blonde girl with blue eyes,” Natalie peeked at him out of the corner of her eye. “You sure do have a type.”
“Natalie, I’m never going to tell you to shut up—”
“But you want me to shut up?”
“Yes.”
Nico walked into the house behind Natalie, praying their father was still asleep.
Best-case scenario was Nico could sober up enough to ditch town before his father could confront him.
The idea of a quick escape disappeared as soon as Nico saw his father sitting at the dining room table with a hot cup of coffee.
“Sit down,” his father commanded, and Nico did as he was told.
Natalie stood by the entryway to the dining room.
“I can’t treat you like a child, Nico,” his father said, gripping the cup of coffee with both hands. “We’re way beyond you being a child. You’re a grown adult with a fully developed brain and these are the choices you have decided to make.”
Nico palmed over his throbbing forehead. “Dad, I’m really not in the mood right now.”
“I don’t give a damn.”
Nico didn’t have the energy to fight. His stomach floated, and his head was dizzy. Nico leveled his palms on the table to assist in getting up.
“Sit the hell back down,” his father shouted. “We’re going to have a talk. If you don’t want to talk, then the least you are going to do is listen.”
Nico dropped back down into his chair and leaned back, exhausted.
“You would do this to your family after what we all went through with your brother,” his father said. “You always had the common sense your brother lacked.”
“One mistake and you want to compare me to him? That’s fucked up.”
“With all due respect, you’re still fucked up.
” It was the first time Nico had ever heard his father say that word.
“Even now, I can see the strain in your dilated eyes. I know you’re still drunk because of how high you blew, but I’m starting to think you’re on drugs too because I don’t know how else to reconcile the son I knew compared to the son I’m looking at now. ”
“Elon was an addict,” Nico felt the need to remind his father. “Instead of chasing his dreams, he chased a high. I fucked up and I can admit that, but we’re not the same. That being said, I was never good enough for you, no matter how much I tried.”
“I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about and I’m not going to let you change the goalpost here.”
Nico was not the type of man to share his feelings, but he was at a breaking point.
Years of pent-up frustration exploded from within.
“I could never compare to him. You wanted your sons to be big, strong, and faithful, and I was none of those things. I was a shy kid who liked reading. Who liked running. Who liked everything Elon didn’t.
He used to call me a sissy and behind closed doors, I know you felt the same.
After his accident, it’s like you couldn’t even look me in the eyes because I constantly reminded you of my shortcomings.
It wasn’t until I picked up the ball that you showed me any respect.
And when I won the state championship in my senior year, it was the first time since Elon’s accident that I felt you loved me. ”
Nico’s admission left his father stunned. “That’s not true.”
Nico stood up and wobbled as he caught his footing.
He retrieved a bottle of water from the fridge and chugged the whole thing.
He tossed the empty bottle into the sink and stepped back to the table, standing over his father.
“Perception is reality, and I was a fucking kid who was dealing with shit no kid should have to deal with. You wanted me to be him so bad, well here I am. I’m a fuck-up just like he was. ”
“Nico, stop talking,” Natalie interjected softly. “That’s enough.”
“Shut up, Natalie.” Nico closed his eyes and exhaled. “You both have eyes. You have ears. And you have been absolutely blind to what’s been going on for the past six years.” Nico pointed at his father. “I expected it from you.” He turned his aim to Natalie. “But how did you not know?”
“Know what?” Natalie asked softly.
Nico circled the table and looked at his father from across it. “You think you see everything, so look in my eyes and tell me what you see.”
Their father shook his head. “I don’t know who I’m looking at.”
“Look at me!” Nico slammed his fist on the table. “You have no idea the hell I’ve been through.”
“Yeah,” his father scowled. “The life of one of the most popular football players in the world must be miserable. So miserable that you go out and risk ruining it. You’re not invincible, but you are an idiot.”
“Fine,” Nico raised his hands. “I admit it. I’m an idiot.”
“I see we’re finally getting somewhere.”
Nico drummed his fingers on the table as he contemplated throwing up. It seemed easier than the alternative, but if not then, then when?
“I loved him,” Nico whispered.
His father’s eyes drifted upward.
“He broke my heart so many damn times, so I did the thing I was so afraid of him doing to me again. I broke my own heart and I ran.”
His father said nothing.
Natalie said nothing.
It was like he was talking into a void.
Nico raised his fingers to his mouth, pinching at his lips. “I’m sorry you have to find out this way, but I’m tired of pretending to be okay. I’m tired of pretending that the night I won the Super Bowl wasn’t the best night of my life and the worst.”
“Nico—” his father urged him to stop.
But Nico cut him off. “Let me finish.”
“I knew,” his father mumbled under his breath.
“You…” Nico said, exasperated. “What?”
“That you’re, you know.” He shook his head. “When I was visiting you in college, I was looking for a charger in your nightstand.” He looked away. “I found some things.”
Nico knew exactly what things his father was talking about.
He clenched his throat and felt his cheeks flushing.
The funny thing is that Nico didn’t know back in college.
He had suspicions based on how much he loved playing with those very same toys, but it wasn’t until Cooper that he knew.
In that regard, his father knew Nico was a proper bottom before he even knew.
Nico chuckled at the thought.
“It doesn’t change how much I love you,” his father said, pushing his cup of coffee to the side. He stabbed the table with his pointer finger. “I’m a man of God, and we are instructed to love all.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Nico questioned, torn between relief and anger. “All these years, and I was terrified you’d go back to hating me.”
“I never hated you,” his father said. “I didn’t handle things in the best way, I know that. After Elon’s accident, I kind of closed myself off to the world, to emotions and I’m sorry that made you feel these things.”
Natalie raised her hand, as if asking for permission to speak. “I knew too.”
Nico’s gaze flipped back and forth between them. “You’re both unbelievable.”
“I figured it out at the Luke Davies Gala,” Natalie said. “I saw the way you looked at him and I just knew it in my gut.”
Their father cleared his throat. “Who is him?”
Nico shook his head and pulled an imaginary zipper over his mouth. “That’s not my story to tell.”
“Who is this guy, Natalie?”
Natalie shrugged.
“I want to know the man’s name who broke my son’s heart.”
“It’d be really unethical to out someone who is clearly not ready to be outed,” Natalie said. “I think it’s a generational thing that your particular generation didn’t understand the ramifications of.”
Nico’s father narrowed his eyes on Nico. “It’s Matteo Reyes, isn’t it?”
“It is not,” Nico said flatly. “Why do you think it’s a football player?”
“Because it was someone at that damn gala. I want you to know that when you crash in your bed here shortly, I’m going to hop on my computer and sort through photos.
You might think your father isn’t technologically savvy, but I will find this man and I will hunt him down.
He’ll make things right with my son. He’ll make things right with the Lord. ”
Nico cleared his throat. “I think you missed the part where I said I’m the one who left him.”
“Sorry,” his father said. “I must have zoned out after hearing the part about him breaking my son’s heart over and over again.”
Nico slid back into his seat with his head bowed. His father reached out and grabbed his left hand, squeezing it. Natalie did the same with his right hand, and when he looked up, he noticed they were all chained together.
“This is what it means to be a family,” his father said. “But if you ever drink and drive again, I will beat your ass with my walking cane.”
september 2026 - los angeles
The response from the league was swift and just—a six-week suspension for Nico.
He wasn’t allowed to practice, and wasn’t even allowed near the training facility.
He accepted the consequences of his actions and understood the gravity of his mistake.
Though he never believed he had a problem with alcohol, the fact that he drove drunk terrified him into quitting alcohol altogether.
He spent his entire life wanting to be his own person, but in the end fell into the same mistakes of the ghost he tried so hard to run away from.
Nico watched the Knights’ opening game against the Cobras from the comfort of his couch in his downtown condo.
The Cobras offense took the field in the opening seconds of the game.
Cooper’s first throw was almost intercepted.
His second was caught by Dawson for nine yards.
On the third play, Cooper was sacked.
And on the fourth, he opted to run the ball on the outer perimeter. But instead of running out of bounds, he ran straight into the defense resulting in a helmet-to-helmet collision.
The great Cooper Callahan was rushed to the blue tent and then off the field.
Nico waited a few hours to gloat, shooting a quick message to Cooper.
NICO
You need me to come coach you on how not to run straight to the morgue?