Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
Nico admired himself in the mirror, turning slightly to check all angles.
He opted for an all-black tailsuit, classic with a modern flair of sharp-cut edges at the collarbone.
The diamond necklace peeked out of the black collar on the sides of his neck.
He exhaled as he patted himself down, preparing himself for whatever could happen.
On his way out the door, he stopped and glanced at the fully stocked minibar.
He exited his hotel room without taking a shot, or many more. Every step toward the elevator was heavier than the last, like he was being pulled back to his hotel room with the strength of a heavy magnet.
Nico arrived at the ballroom about a half-hour after the doors opened and about a half-hour before the first speech.
A varied selection of hors d'oeuvres was served, including California rolls and bruschetta, but Nico’s unsettled stomach wouldn’t allow him to partake.
He found his way to the bar and ordered an ice-cold water while bottles of expensive champagne freely poured into flutes for the guests around him.
He slipped the tiny black straw into his mouth and sucked slowly, contemplating his most recent terrible decision—to show up to the Luke Davies Gala.
“Hey, brat,” Cooper said from behind, a stillness in his voice.
Nico turned to his former lover with a half-smile. “Hey, coach.”
“I have to say I’m a little surprised you’re still showing up to these things.”
“What can I say?” Nico shrugged. “I’m predictable.”
“You’re anything but.”
Nico scratched at the side of his neck. “Yeah, I don’t know why I said that.”
“You look like you could use a drink a little stronger than the water in your hands.” Cooper wagged his finger in a circle, pointing at Nico. “You got that nervous look on your face.”
“I don’t drink anymore.”
“Right.” Cooper nodded. “That makes sense.”
Nico scrunched his face. “And I don’t have a nervous face.”
“You do.” Cooper laughed quietly. “When you’re nervous, your face lightens just a little bit. Your eyes dance around the room desperately trying to find something to hold onto. Your fingers rub against each other. I know every tic of yours.”
“You look rather pale yourself.”
“I have a lot to be nervous about tonight, but it’s really just been a long winter.”
Nico leaned forward, just slightly. “Winter doesn’t start until the twenty-second of December.”
Cooper smiled. “How have I survived this whole year without your smart-ass comments?”
It was time for Nico to swallow his pride. “I wanted to tell you—”
“People on the outside look at this life I built and think it’s the pinnacle of success,” Cooper said, interrupting Nico.
His eyes twisted to the side, searching the crowd around them.
“They dream of living this life I’m fortunate enough to live.
They don’t see the scars underneath. They don’t see the foundation.
” Cooper turned back to Nico, blue eyes glistening.
“I’m sorry for creating the cage. I’m sorry for trapping you in it. ”
Nico shook his head. “You didn’t trap me in anything.”
It was a lie borne from a need to make things right.
They both knew the truth. Knew how destructive the cage was to both of their lives.
Knew that first night in the hotel room altered the course of Nico’s life.
More importantly, they both understood the gravity of the situation they were forced into.
There was no easy answer when the truth could have ended both of their careers.
They were the face of their respective teams, and after seeing the way things played out with Matteo, there was no option left for Nico but to stay in the cage forever.
And that’s why he ran.
“I think about that first day all the time,” Cooper said flatly, his voice void of emotion.
“The way you sauntered into the training facility an hour late without a care in the world. Funny and sarcastic, and free. That version of you doesn’t exist anymore because I put you in a cage and locked the door.
I was afraid of what the world looked like outside of this thing I created and I made sure you were just as afraid because with you, it was a little more crowded but a whole hell of a lot less lonely. ”
“Coop—”
“Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be out loud and proud right now.”
Nico set his drink down and sighed. “We can’t turn back the clock.”
“That’s the most painful realization, isn’t it? Knowing you can never go back and fix what’s broken. Knowing that an apology doesn’t glue a broken plate back together again. And I’ll still tell you I’m sorry for the rest of my life.”
Cooper pulled his hand to his mouth and kissed two fingers. He reached out to Nico and tapped those same fingers on Nico’s forehead. Cooper’s way of kissing Nico in public, to comfort him the same way a kiss always had done.
A weight was lifted from Nico’s body as Cooper turned and walked away.
Forgiveness.
For himself. For Cooper.
And the smallest feeling that things could be right again.
Cooper’s nervous system screamed for relief.
Nothing a few hard pours of whiskey couldn’t cure, but he resisted the urge to lock his emotions behind the bottle.
His therapist emboldened him to allow himself to feel every part of what he needed to feel.
Healing was a messy road littered with potholes.
Coach White took to the stage for a short speech to introduce Cooper while Cooper made his way to the sidelines where the steps were. He breathed in, breathed out. The calming techniques his doctor prescribed him weren’t working worth a damn.
A familiar scent wafted over him—a floral, vanilla scent from yesteryears.
“I hope you’re not planning on another embarrassing display,” Elsa said, as cold as ever. “Your fuck-up at the altar still has this town talking.”
Cooper couldn’t bear to look at his mother, not just yet. He stared into the void as he whispered back, “You might not want to be here for this speech.”
Elsa circled to stand in front of him. She looked up to him with squinted eyes. “You’re not that stupid.”
The truth hit him like a fucking wrecking ball. That somehow she knew exactly what he was about to do, and it should have been a surprise to her considering everything she had done. But she fucking knew.
Cooper ground his teeth and seethed, “How long have you known?”
She pursed her lips and straightened herself. “Since you were a little boy. I knew you were different. I prayed for you to be like all the other boys, but it never went away.”
Cooper’s rage was only eclipsed by a deep sadness, unable to tear his eyes away from the devilish woman before him. “This isn’t about God. Your relationship with him is superficial at best. This is about you.”
She caressed a hand over his cheek. “I beg you to not go on that stage and tarnish the family name.”
“I could never figure out if you knew. Every little threat, every little power play you wielded over me. I didn’t know.
Now, I know.” Cooper nodded away from her touch.
“You watched me suffer for all these years.” He inhaled the courage to continue.
“You weaponized my fears because you were too ashamed that your only son was a boy who liked other boys.” He balled his hand into a fist, his fingernails tearing into his own skin.
His throat tensed and his teeth ground together.
“I could have lived whatever fuck kind of life I wanted to live instead of this fucking game of performative theater.”
The woman had no apologies. Instead, she just fucking smirked. “Then why didn’t you?”
“Because I was a scared little boy who had nobody to protect me. I’m not scared anymore.”
“Please welcome Cooper Callahan to the stage,” Coach White said, his voice echoing through the ballroom.
The audience applauded, and Cooper took the first step onto the stage.
Elsa grabbed him by his wrist. “Please! Think of your father.”
“I think he’d be proud of me.” He broke free from her grasp. “And I think he’d be ashamed of what you’ve become.”
Cooper left his mother disheveled at the steps and found his way to the podium. He adjusted the mic upward.
“Good evening, everyone. I want to thank you all for coming out tonight. This is our seventh annual gala and it continues to grow every year. I have a bad habit of coming here and sharing the same stories about my best friend, Luke Davies. For those who have shown up year after year, I won’t bore you with the same anecdotes.
Tonight, we’re going to do something a little different. ”
Cooper gripped onto both sides of the podium, steadying himself.
He looked out to the crowd and saw Stassi and her parents seated at a table in the front.
Sheree nodded her head in approval, giving him the reassurance he needed from his own mother.
Cooper and Stassi had sat them down a month prior and told them everything.
“In the seven years we’ve been doing this, we have raised millions of dollars for youth football programs across the country.
We have changed countless lives, providing equipment for low-income school districts and setting up mentors for promising young athletes.
Some of these kids have gone on to join the league.
But what if this foundation could do even more? ”
He searched the crowd, measuring the expressions on the faces of so many of the people he knew. Stassi smiled. Nico stepped away from the bar, his eyes locked with Cooper’s. Razer sat with his arm around his wife’s back. His mother looked around the room, gauging the reactions, too.
Cooper cleared his throat and continued, “Tonight, the mission of the Luke Davies Foundation changes forever. This realignment will serve to honor Luke in a way he would have wanted. See, Luke begged me to do this so many times.”
He stopped to pause, closing his eyes and reassuring himself in silent whispers.