20. Chapter 20
Chapter 20
Lennox
A car sounds behind me, and I hear it slow down. Looking over, I see none other than Miss Roxie Moore. As I smile at her, she rolls down her window, and I’m greeted by a scowl on her gorgeous face.
“What the hell are you doing?” she growls.
“Umm, it looks like I’m walking.” I grin at her.
“By yourself? Are you f—” She stops herself, and I roll my lips to stop from laughing. “No, you know what? Are you kidding me with this shit, Lennox? When did I say you could go on solo walks? You are barely stable on the walks we take, and I know your stubborn ass is refusing to use your damn crutches lately when you overwork your leg, but this is too much. Get in the damn car before you hurt yourself, please.” Her exasperated sigh is paired with her head thumping against the headrest.
“Yes, ma’am,” I mutter under my breath.
Her eyes flash to mine; annoyance and heat clash together in her gaze, making me shiver as I walk around her car.
I’ve never been into a more aggressive woman, but damn if Roxie’s ability to take control isn’t making things south of my waist take notice.
Slowly climbing into her car, I make sure my knee doesn’t bump on anything before shutting the door .
“I was fine and staying close to home,” I say softly as she puts the car in drive. We’ve been doing longer walks, and they’ve been getting easier, so I figured I’d get a jump on things today and clear my head while she was gone. Lord knows going to her room last night is making me think all sorts of things that aren’t possible.
“You don’t know that. You took things into your own hands because you are starting to feel good, but I didn’t sign off on you doing anything solo. Things can change in a split second with that quad, Lennox. One tweak is all it takes to send you back to surgery. This good feeling is only good so long as you don’t push things too far. Going slow is the key to fast healing, and I know that sounds counterintuitive but you can’t run before you walk, Lennox.” She’s angry, yes, but it’s not condescending. She’s telling me how it is while explaining why she hasn’t given me clearance yet, and I appreciate that more than anything.
Am I a stubborn asshole who usually challenges anyone who says I can’t do something? Yes, but I can admit I’m probably not the best person to judge my limits these past few months. She’s the expert here, not me, and I need to remember that.
She looks gorgeous all worked up, though.
Nope, can’t go there. I don’t even know why that thought popped into my head. Because you can still feel the ghost of her body pressed against yours as you slept last night.
“Are you listening to me? I need to make sure you really hear me because if you can’t wait for my clearance on things, then I might as well be done here.”
Her words stop my heart. She can’t leave me.
“No!” I croak. “No, I promise I’m listening. ”
She doesn’t say anything as she pulls up to the cabin, putting the car in park and sighing before looking over at me.
“Look, I’m not trying to be a dictator, but this injury is so hard to work through, and it’s easy to get a false sense of confidence with it. I don’t want to see you have any setbacks, especially if we can avoid them. Please just wait to do anything on your own until I give the go-ahead. Or, hell, at least ask first so I don’t have a damn heart attack when I see you being stubborn.” She gives me a small smile, and this tightening in my chest makes me feel like I’m the one having a heart attack now.
“I’m sorry.” Causing her more stress is not something I want to do. I’m not used to having to answer to anyone, but she has my best interest at heart. Hell, she seems to have everyone except herself as her number one priority. It’s one of the reasons I’m going to set up something fun for Ivy so Roxie can have a break. My solo walk was at least good for something.
“And I’m sorry for freaking out on you.” Her head is tipped back on the headrest, but it lulls over to me as she apologizes.
“That wasn’t a freakout. It was concern, and I appreciate it more than you know.” We stare at each other for a moment, and I’m not sure if she can feel this string of tension between us, but for me it feels like a blinding light in the dead of night. Impossible to ignore.
Her eyes shift away from mine as she clears her throat. After reaching back to grab her purse, she gets out of the car without another word. I watch her walk around the hood before opening the passenger side door.
“Come on, Mr. Overachiever.” Her smile this time is genuine, and it has me momentarily dazed. “Lennox?”
I blink, refocusing on the fact that I need to get out of the car. Her hand is held out, and I eagerly take it despite not really needing assistance. It makes her feel better, and having her hand in mine causes my whole arm to tingle.
She’s making me feel, and feeling is something I’ve been avoiding for so damn long it’s almost too much for me.
“I have two sessions with other clients this morning, but how about we do a small walk before doing stretches after lunch today?”
“That sounds good.”
Space. I definitely need space from Roxie before I do something really stupid.
Something happened today while Roxie was out.
I’m not sure what, but Roxie has been off since she came back home a few hours ago. She robotically went through my stretches and then gave me permission to walk a small loop down my long driveway alone, as long as she could see me from the front porch.
That’s how I knew something happened. We damn near had a full-on fight about me walking solo when she came back home, and then she caves that easily? No way. Not Roxie. She’s overly cautious and overly protective, and that doesn’t change at the drop of a hat.
I’m not sure when I became so in tune with Roxie and her moods, but the when doesn’t matter. I’m not sure how to fix what happened. Hell, I don’t even think I have a right to try and fix it .
I’m no one to her. Just a client and a roommate at best. That’s been very clear after every single time we land ourselves in the same bed together and then ignore it happened the next day.
And it fucking stings.
Instead of pumping her for answers, I’m sitting on the couch as Ivy deals us a game of Go Fish. She’s slow on the shuffling and dealing, so it’s giving me time to study Roxie, who is sitting with her laptop at the dining room.
Her eyes aren’t focused, staring at the screen, fingers tapping on the table to a rhythm only she can hear. As I continue to watch her, it hits me that she’s anxious. Roxie, queen of taking no shit and being the boss of all things, is anxious, and it’s unnerving. I’m supposed to be the anxious, messed-up one. She’s supposed to be the rock that holds everything together, including me.
“Lenny!” Ivy’s strong voice yells at me.
“Yep. I’m focused, Pixie.” I grab the cards she dealt out, and we play through a game that I win easily.
She huffs and crosses her arms. “I never win,” she pouts.
“Well, if you think I’m going to let you win just because you’re tiny, Pix, you’re sorely mistaken. Gotta be good to beat me.” I smirk.
“That’s mean,” she grumbles but can’t hold back the smile growing on her face. “I am good,” she counters.
“Prove it, then,” I challenge her as she gathers all the cards, determined to win the next round. As much as I want to let her win this next round because she’s trying so hard, it won’t mean anything unless it’s authentic. When she finally beats me, it’ll make both of our days. And I look forward to that day more than I’ll ever tell her .
Three games later, and Ivy is no closer to winning, her frustration on the verge of boiling over. I need to do damage control. Roxie is still staring off at nothing, and I’m starting to worry.
“Alright, Pixie, I’m going to start dinner. Can you clean up the cards?”
“Yep.” She starts gathering everything up, and I can’t help the smile that takes over my face. She’s a great kid, and I feel lucky that she likes hanging out with me. Her determination fuels my own most days now. It makes me consider what my days could look like if she and Roxie stay. Could I be not only something to Roxie but to Ivy as well? I sure as hell don’t know shit about being a parental figure. I know without a doubt I’d just screw it up anyway.
Stepping behind Roxie, I gently touch her shoulder. Her computer screen is black, but she hasn’t made an attempt to move from her spot. She startles at my touch.
“I’m going to start dinner. Are sandwiches okay?” I ask softly. I’ve never claimed to be a culinary genius; it’s why I always bring drinks to family dinner.
“Yep, totally fine. Let me help.”
“I’ve got it. Sit and tell me how your day went.” I cringe at my lack of tact, but curiosity is getting the better of me.
She looks up at me with confusion written all over her big brown eyes. I know we have a precarious relationship at best, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy hearing about her day. And if she happens to tell me why she’s been zoned out all day, all the better.
Or her past. I wouldn’t mind a glimpse of that because I’m still waiting on Arlo and Oakley to get back to me with information.
Who the hell are you right now, Lennox Hutton?
It’s a compulsory need I have no control over at this point. Something happened with Roxie today, and I need to know what it is so I can find some way to help.
After pulling out all the fixings for sandwiches, I start assembling while I wait her out.
“I thought I saw someone today.” Her voice is so small. I hate it.
“Someone you used to know?” I ask.
She clears her throat. “Yeah, umm, someone I used to know who isn’t a great person.”
Her generalization irks me, but I understand her not wanting to be that open with me. It’s not like I’ve really given her a reason to be.
“You said you thought you saw them. You didn’t talk to them?” I lead as I toss some cheese on the bread.
“God, no!” She sighs. “I thought I saw a flash of my uncle, but when I looked back, he was gone. I’m probably just seeing things, so it’s no big deal. I’m not sure why it’s put me in such a funk when there’s no actual proof he was even there. Sorry.”
“Nothing to apologize for.” I don’t want to bring any more attention to a possible sighting of her uncle, but it does worry me. Combined with her reaction to that car driving by the other day, it’s cause for concern. If there’s a chance he could be in town, there’s a chance he could hurt Roxie and Ivy. I’ll do everything in my very limited power to make sure it doesn’t happen.
“Thank you for playing with Ivy.”
“Definitely don’t thank me for that.” I give her a serious look.
“She really likes you. She’s always bubbly and talks to everyone, but she rarely feels comfortable with men alone.” Her eyes close, and she tips her head back like she said something she wasn’t supposed to .
My hands grip the countertop so hard my knuckles turn white and start to hurt. If anyone hurt that little girl, I’ll take all my rage and anger at the world out on them.
Consequences be damned.
“I’m glad she feels comfortable around me.”
I glance over at Roxie, and our eyes meet. For the first time since she found herself on my doorstep, she’s wide open. I can see everything through her eyes. She’s scared but doesn’t want to admit it. Determined but cautious. Vulnerable.
For the first time, I’m seeing who Roxie truly is, and I want to walk over there and hug her, tell her everything will be alright. But I can’t promise it will be. Lord knows I’m the poster child for things not being alright. How can I look at her with complete certainty when doubt floods me? I need that damn information from the boys before I can figure out my next move. I’m getting stronger every day, but I’m not sure it’s enough yet.
Her eyes shift, closing her off, and that feeling of my chest tightening hits me again. I rub it, watching her eyes flicker back to observe the movement.
What would it be like to be something in her life? For her to confide in me and let me help her? To have the potential of friendship and, hell, maybe more?
Shifting back to the sandwiches, I shake myself of these delusional thoughts. I have nothing to offer her, I know that. Even if that was something I wanted, I’m in no place to give her anything. And that’s not taking Ivy into consideration either. She should have a real father figure in her life, and I’m just the guy who plays board games and cards with her. Reading her stories with funny voices is the best I can give her .
They both deserve so much more.
“Chips or French fries?” Roxie’s voice cuts through my thoughts, although it’s still softer than normal.
“Chips works for me unless Ivy wants fries.”
She grabs chips from the pantry and some fresh berries from the refrigerator, setting both on the dining room table as I finish up the sandwiches.
“Bug! Dinner’s ready,” she calls Ivy.
She comes bounding out of her room with the brightest smile on her face, and I’m envious of her happiness. A year ago, everyone would have told you I was more like Ivy than an adult, always joking around and living life to its fullest. As much as I miss that Lennox, I’ll never be him again. Parts of me were changed by Alfred Tennison forever.
“Lenny didn’t let me win again,” Ivy pouts as she sits down.
Laughter bursts out of me as she immediately calls me out. “Pixie, I told you I’m not just going to let you win.” I sit down and help her load up her plate.
She sighs. “I know. I want to win the wight way.” She nods with determination, and I vow to play games every single night until she does beat me. Showing up and proving to her that I’m here for her if she wants me to be is suddenly one of my top priorities.
Along with figuring out what the fuck is in their pasts that has Roxie spooked to this degree.
I look over at Roxie with a smile and find her eyes already on me. There’s a look on her face I can’t quite decipher. Awe mixes with regret, and it only makes me want to dig deeper to change it to happiness.
Whatever is causing this bright light in my life to dim is on my shit list.
Later that night, I pull up the group text with Oakley and Arlo.
Me:
Any info on Roxie? She was spooked again today, and I want to get ahead of things if there’s someone she doesn’t want here.
Arlo:
Shit. Nothing concrete at the moment. Her background check seems … off, so I’m trying to figure out why first.
Oakley:
I can call Woodcroft.
I think about it for a moment and decide information is more important than overstepping right now. The background check also gives me pause. Why would her background check seem off?
Me:
Please do. I know he’s probably busy, but if he can find anything, I’d feel better equipped.
Oakley:
I’ll call you after I do.
Me:
Thank you both.
Something is stressing out my woman enough to alarm her, and it’s unacceptable.
Rolling over and closing my eyes, I choose to ignore what I just called Roxie in my head and fall into a very unrestful sleep.