34. Chapter 34
Chapter 34
Roxie
Lennox’s voice pulls me from my panic … barely.
“Uh…” I look around, trying to explain what is obviously me packing up to leave.
“Did you see him again?” His voice is oddly calm. It’s unnerving because I can’t begin to guess how he’s going to react. I was so lost in my head I didn’t even think about how this would impact him, impact us.
Catching his eye, I can’t even speak the words before the tears that were starting to slow come back in full force.
“Hey, it’s okay. Come sit.” The harshness in his voice changes in an instant as he drags me down on top of the pile of clothes I have on the bed. “Tell me what happened.”
“I-I-I was leaving Dr. Grant’s and was distracted. I looked up, and he was r-right in front of me,” I fumble through my words.
“Okay. Did he say anything to you? Was Pam with him?” His questions are gentle, but I can feel how tense he is.
A few deep breaths help me think more clearly and stop the flow of tears. “We didn’t talk at all. I freaked out immediately once I realized it was him and ran. I didn’t see Pam, but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t there. It was like I had tunnel vision once my focus landed on him. ”
“Okay, that’s good.” His hand shifts as he pulls out his phone. He doesn’t try to shield it away from me. I watch as he pulls up a group text with Arlo and Oakley in it.
Lennox:
Roxie ran into Greg in town. He could still be there, but he’s definitely working up to something. He wanted her to see him.
I don’t wait for their replies. Instead, shifting back an inch, I look at Lennox with confusion. “How do they know about Greg?”
His hand moves to the back of his neck, rubbing it like he feels uncomfortable. “Let me finish what I have to say before you say anything, okay?”
“You’re not really helping me feel like this is going to be a good thing.” My nerves are already shot, and this is making everything worse.
I mean, how much more can a woman take? At this rate, I’ll never escape Greg, and now Lennox, whom I’m falling for at an alarming rate, is keeping things from me at the very least, betraying my trust at most. Not really a recipe for living a peaceful life.
I’m fooling myself into thinking that’s even a possibility. It’s clear now. Lennox is a pipe dream for me.
“Roxie,” Lennox growls.
I jolt my head up, confused why he’s suddenly irritated.
“Whatever is running through your head right now, stop. I promise I will explain everything, and then we will figure this out. Together. You aren’t getting rid of me, though.”
Apparently, he can read minds now.
I nod hesitantly, knowing I’m in a downward spiral of thoughts right now.
“When you came here, Ledger and I were worried about how little you came with. I wasn’t in a position mentally to figure out why or dig deeper, obviously. I let it go for a while, but then you told me about your upbringing, and I had Arlo and Oakley look into it a little.”
“You what?” I snap back.
“Please let me finish,” he begs. When I don’t reply, he takes it as acceptance. “They didn’t find much except that they got custody. Oakley called Woodcroft, his old partner, since he’s a U.S. Marshal still, and literally an hour ago, we learned enough dirt on them to use against them. My goal was to get them to leave you alone for good. I know it was an invasion, but if I can be completely honest—which we usually are with each other—I would do it again in a heartbeat.”
I marinate on everything, and my dumb lovestruck heart is stuck on his intention. Without saying it, he told me he’s been trying to get me to stay since the very beginning.
“What did you learn about them?” I ask.
“You don’t need to know. It’s enough to hold over their heads, though.”
“What. Did. You. Learn. Lennox?” I grit out.
His sigh indicates it’s worse than I thought. “Greg owes a lot of people—bad ones included—a lot of money. Pam is seeking benzos and opioids from hospitals almost weekly.”
I appreciate that he doesn’t sugarcoat it. I don’t need to be babied. I need facts so I can figure out what the fuck to do.
I’m so glad Ivy’s at school right now because at least I know she’s safe there.
The urge to run is still so strong. How do I even deal with two addicts? That’s what they are, right? Did they do this shit while I lived with them and hid it well? How did they afford the lawyers to threaten me within an inch of my life? There’s no reasoning with anyone in the thick of addiction, so how do I break free?
Too many questions swirl in my head.
“Roxie? Say something.” Lennox’s hand tilts my chin to him.
“Why do they want custody of Ivy?” It’s possibly the most out-of-left-field question, but it’s one that weighs so heavily on me, especially knowing what they’ve been up to.
“I don’t know. I’m trying to figure that out, but we’re coming up empty. Nothing makes sense.” His frustration is evident.
I collapse back on the bed, trying to clear my head enough to think logically about … everything. “Can I just … think out loud for a second?”
“Always.” He lies down next to me, still giving me space.
“Greg and Pam found me in Bluebell Falls. They are both addicts who probably won’t be reasoned with. Protecting Ivy is all that matters, so how do I make that happen when I have no clue what they’re after? And how do I keep Ivy safe while I figure all of this out?”
My fingers tap a beat into my leg as I try to process everything. I don’t have answers, and I won’t have answers until I find out what they’re after. “What if I confront them and ask what they want? If it’s money, I don’t have any to give, but at least I know what they’re after, right?” I turn my head to look at Lennox.
“Absolutely not. I’m not letting you anywhere near them.”
“Lennox … this isn’t your battle,” I tell him softly. Am I angry he went behind my back to get information? Not really, because it’s the first time someone’s given a shit about me, and I know he did it with good intentions. But the fact remains, as grateful as I am, this isn’t something he needs to get involved in. It’s time I really finished things. Especially with this new offer from Dr. Grant. Robert .
“Can I say something really scary and probably too-much-too-fast?” He sits up and cups my face.
Nodding, I lean into the hand that’s on my jaw.
“I’m hook, line, and sinker for you and Ivy. I will not let you do this alone. I don’t know if you know this or not, but you’re stuck with me now. If you decide you want to go somewhere else and try to outrun them, I’ll follow you. If you decide to stay here and fight? I’ll be the first person to step up to the plate and fight with you. You deserve the whole damn universe, Rox, and if I can make that happen, I will.”
This man has no idea what his words do to me.
“I don’t know how to be stationary. I don’t know how to accept help. I’m really bad at this.”
“Everyone is bad at it. Hell, have you seen me? No one said you have to be perfect. I’m certainly not asking for that. I’m asking you to let me—us—help you. I just need you to understand you’re not alone.” He says it so matter-of-factly, it’s wild to me how different he is from just a couple of months ago.
“Dr. Grant offered me a job. Kind of,” I whisper in response. “He offered me space in his office and the start of a whole damn business.”
“Yeah?” His eyes light up. He should feel down that I’m not immediately addressing his declaration of … love? Of affection, at the very least, but instead he’s happy for me. The revelation hits me hard. He’s one hundred percent in when it comes to us. The decision on what I want becomes crystal clear.
“Yeah.” I look him in the eyes, making sure he really hears me. “I want to stay. Not just in Bluebell Falls, but here, in your cabin. But I’m really scared about them being here, and I’m not sure what to do from here. It’s going to be ugly. I know them, and they’ll go down kicking and screaming. Getting dirt on them won’t be enough. I’ve never had support—running was always easier—but I’ll gladly take yours.” My last words are barely louder than a murmur.
“You’ll have all of Bluebell Falls behind you, silly woman. You’re one of us now.” He presses a soft kiss to my lips before pulling me into his arms. “You had me so fucking panicked when I walked in.”
“I had myself panicked. How the fuck did they find me so fast?” Another question that needs an answer.
“No clue. I’ll ask Woodcroft about that too and see if he has any ideas.”
“I need to go talk to a lawyer and see about setting up a contract for this new … business. Seeing what the best option is. I wonder if they would have any ideas about all of this. If there’s some way legally I can back them off,” I think out loud. It’s a long shot, I know that, but I have no clues or ideas to help me figure this out. Exhausting all the options that have access to things I don’t, especially legally, seems like the best approach.
“Ledger used one in Rosedale for his business. I can ask him about it. I’m not sure if he would be able to handle anything outside of the business stuff, but I’m sure he has a referral if not,” Lennox offers.
“That would be great.” We sit in silence for a long moment. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, turning my head to press a kiss to his chest.
“Nothing to be sorry for, Roxie. Fight or flight is a strange thing. You don’t even realize it’s happening most of the time, and then, bam, something shakes you out of it and you see not all was so dire.”
“Sounds like huge progress is happening on your side of things.” I raise an eyebrow.
“Oddly enough, I don’t start therapy until Thursday.” He chuckles.
“Lennox, that’s huge!” I sit up, all my shit forgotten .
“We’ll see. I was talking to Arlo about it before I came home. I think it’s going to suck ass if I’m honest.”
“Hard things usually do, but they are also some of the things that make life worth living.”
“You want to take your own advice on that one, Boss Lady?” His eyebrow arches up.
“Well played. You’re right.” I sigh.
“What was that? Might be the only time I get to hear it. You wanna speak up for the cheap seats in the back?” He smirks.
“You.” Kiss. ”Are.” Kiss. “Right.” Kiss.
A goofy smile greets me as I pull away, and this might be my favorite Lennox of all time.
“Start unpacking, Rox. Your ass isn’t going anywhere.” He stands up and walks out my door like nothing happened, when in fact everything happened.