CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Katarina
It had been two weeks since I’d run from the cabin, blinded by tears.
There was still an awkward tension between me and Jack, but we managed to work together which was the important thing. I didn’t know what I would have done if he had quit the ranch. I knew he felt bound here but there really wasn’t anything stopping him from leaving except his honor.
Some days it hurt to be so near him. I felt like if he looked at me, I’d shatter, but I held myself together. Gertie held me together. I didn’t know what I’d do without her right now.
She’d given me a stern talking to. That woman had a way with words. She’d told me to stop being so stubborn about letting my sisters help out with the ranch. She’d reminded me that it was their home too and they had a right to have a say in what happened here. She was right, Gertie was always right. I’d been blinded by my need to prove myself and lead them now that our father was gone.
But a good leader listens to others. And that was what I was doing today. The girls wanted to have a family meeting so there we were all sitting around the table, Leo hovering over by the sideboard with Gertie.
“Okay, let’s hear it, get all the ideas out,” I said, looking around at their excited faces.
August put her hand up. “Can I go first?”
“Of course.”
“Um, I would love to do horse riding lessons here. Maybe do some school visits for the children with learning difficulties. We actually have some very calm horses who wouldn’t be startled by some of the loud noises or sudden movements that the kids might make and it would be a great way for them to interact with animals.”
I was touched that she had come up with something so thoughtful. There was a local school for children who had learning and behavioral challenges, and there wasn’t a lot around Reverence for them to experience.
“I think that’s a great idea, August. Let’s take a look at what we need to do that: insurance, health and safety, and so on.”
August beamed at me and nodded, beginning to scribble furiously in the notebook she’d brought. I looked around the table and everyone was smiling except Daisy who was peering towards the door and glancing at her watch .
“Who’s next?”
“I wanna do a fundraiser for the fire station,” Maddy said, and Leo pushed off from the sideboard and stood behind Maddy, placing his hands on her shoulders in support.
“Tell me about it, what do you picture?” I said.
“We could have a demonstration from the team, have competitions like who can put the uniform and equipment on the quickest, that kind of stuff.”
“You could make it a fundraising fair and get local business owners in to show off their products, have food vendors and play games.” I tapped my chin thoughtfully. “The vendors would donate a percentage of their profits in exchange for the visibility.”
“You could auction off some of the guys, ooh and do a Hotties with a Hose calendar!” Tilly piped up and I wasn’t sure how I felt about my almost sixteen-year-old sister thinking like that, but I didn’t want to stifle anyone’s creativity.
“We could make the calendar exclusive to the fair, like a ‘when it’s gone, it’s gone’ type of thing. That way it would bring in more fairgoers and make people spend more money to support the station, the ranch and local vendors?” I added. My head began spinning with ideas. “We can host weddings, team-building days, survival trips!” I shouted each one out, unable to stop the flow.
“Yes!” Gertie shouted, clapping her hands together and whooping. “There she is, now you’re thinking like the badass businesswoman I know you are!”
I laughed, shaking my head but my cheeks flushed with pleasure knowing she had my back. The excitement in the room escalated and the ideas were thrown around faster than August could write.
I glanced around at the enthusiastic chatter, amazed at how we’d worked together to come up with some exciting events and ways to support not just the ranch but local causes too. I was annoyed at myself again for shutting the girls out when they had so much to offer.
When everyone finally died down, I turned to Daisy. “Did you have something you wanted to share?” There was still tension between us. It was strange because I felt like she was avoiding me and keeping something from me, I just didn’t know what. I had a feeling it had to do with the debt on the ranch and how it mysteriously got paid but when I’d pressed her on it, she had remained tight-lipped and snippy.
“Yes, but I just need—” She was interrupted by a knock on the front door. “Ah, there’s my assistant now.” She got up and left the room.
When she reappeared she was followed by Jack, looking delicious in his black jeans and forest green sweatshirt that hugged his broad chest and made me want to snuggle up against him. He was carrying something big under a blanket and Daisy was helping him maneuver through the kitchen and he placed it on the table in front of us.
He raised his eyes to meet mine and my breath caught in my throat at the soft smile he gave me. I almost cried. Missing him was a constant ache in my chest. I wanted him so much, wanted to tell him I loved him and throw myself at him but instead I just offered him a small smile in return.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi,” I replied, like I was a lovestruck teenager when actually I was a lovestruck thirty-something.
Daisy cleared her throat, distracting us and Jack rubbed his hands together before pulling the blanket off whatever sat in the middle of the table .
“Ta da!” Daisy cheered and I stared at the wooden 3D diorama in front of me.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“It’s the new Redemption Guest Ranch!” Daisy flourished, waving her hands over the model oohing and ahhing like she was an assistant on a shopping channel.
I looked at Jack who had taken a place by Gertie at the sideboard. “Did you make this?”
He nodded. I looked at the model, at how carefully crafted it was, gorgeously varnished, the detail of the woodwork was intricate, immaculate. “It’s beautiful,” I breathed.
“Thank you,” he replied, twin spots of pink appearing on his cheeks. I’d seen a couple of the pieces he’d crafted before, the bookcase and coffee table which were lovely but this was so much more complex and detailed. He was truly talented.
“This is what it could look like,” Daisy began, gesturing at a section of tiny cottages. “This is where we would have the guest cabins, surrounded by trees for privacy but close enough to the pasture and stables that they can experience the ranch to the fullest. Each one comes with a hot tub so they can gaze up at the stars at night. Then we have a fishing area down by the lake where we can also do some water sports and activities. We can get our hands on some dirt bikes and ATVs and take them through the trails up towards the mountains. Then horse riding, and we can run a kids’ activity club during the summer months which will appeal to locals as well as vacationers.”
I stared at Daisy, amazed at what she’d pulled together and the thought she’d put into it. I knew she’d done marketing and event planning in college and had excellent grades, but once again, I was blown away by her ability.
“This is incredible,” I said, shaking my head in disbelief as I looked down at the model. I turned to Jack. “And you’ll build it?”
He stood up straight and rubbed the back of his neck like he did when he felt uncomfortable. “Oh I, uh, I think you’ll need to hire someone to do it. I’m not good enough to—”
“Then you’ll help until you’re ready,” I interrupted. “What’s this?” I pointed to a little wooden figure in the treeline.
Jack’s lip quirked. “It’s an asshole bison.”
My mind drifted back to that day when we worked together to fix the fence, to the almost-kiss that started it all. His eyes heated and goosebumps dotted my skin before he flicked his stare away.
The girls began chattering about all the exciting things we could do and the energy in the room lifted yet again.
“Thank you, all of you. I couldn’t ask for a better family. I think, together, we’re going to do something amazing with Redemption Ranch and I can’t thank you enough.” My voice became choked with emotion. “Daddy would be so proud.” Once I said that, all bets were off and there wasn’t a dry eye in the kitchen.
Eventually everyone dispersed into their groups. August was taking me through her notes when I saw Jack slip away. “Perfect, that’s perfect, thank you,” I said, patting her hand. “Just give me a minute?”
I left the kitchen and went out the door, but Jack was already gone.
“Go after him,” Gertie said from behind me.
I faced her. “He doesn’t want me.”
“He does, he’s just an idiot. You think he would have spent all that time making that diorama if he didn’t care?” She pushed me towards the door. “Try one more time, for me.”
I sighed. “Fine, but you’re going to be in so much trouble if I come back crying again. Make extra ice cream just in case.”
Gertie waved me off and pushed me out the door. The air outside was chilly, summer was ending and fall was on the way. I couldn’t wait to watch the leaves change color on the trees. Fall was stunning at the ranch.
I reluctantly trudged over to the cabin and knocked once. I blew out a breath, squeezing my eyes shut and praying for a sign that things would work out.
“Hey,” I said when Jack opened the door.
“Hey.” He stepped back to let me inside and Teddy immediately leapt at me, yipping excitedly and I laughed as I fended off his excited licks.
“Teddy, relax,” Jack chuckled, taking him from me and shutting him in the bedroom. “Damn dog,” he muttered when he came back.
“You love it really,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.
“I do,” he nodded. We faced each other, not knowing how to start. I just stared at him, at the soft brown hair that fell across his forehead. His bright eyes had lost some of the wariness they usually held and, in general, he seemed less reserved than normal.
“Thank you for working with Daisy on the model,” I said.
“I need you to know, I didn’t do it so I could help build the guest ranch. That wasn’t my intention.”
“No, I know. But I want you to put your stamp on this place.”
He quirked a brow at me. “You do?”
“Of course. You’re so talented and hell, this is your home. You’re part of Redemption, you should be able to have input in what happens here too. Daddy would have wanted that. You’re family.”
A slow smile spread across his kissable lips. “I am?”
I nodded. “Once you’ve broken down Daisy’s defenses, you’re in,” I joked.
“You have that much faith in me?”
“I do. I know we’ll need contractors to do some of the other foundation work but I want you to help build it.”
He stepped closer and I tensed, waiting to see what he would do, but he stepped back and I tried not to feel disappointed.
He cleared his throat. “Thank you, that means a lot.”
“You’re welcome.”
He continued to stare at me, fists clenching and unclenching. There was an intensity radiating off of him that I didn’t understand. But when he didn’t do anything else, I began to feel like I was taking up space in his cabin.
“I’d better go.” I headed towards the door and he followed behind, reaching around me to open in. “Goodnight Jack,” I said, trying to keep the sadness out of my voice.
He growled, actually growled. “Fuck it.”
Then he slammed the door shut and the next thing I knew, I was being pushed up against it and his lips were crashing into mine. My body melted against him, like I’d been holding myself together for too long, just waiting for the next time he touched me, and now I surrendered.
He ate at my mouth, his hand coming up to cup my jaw, angling my head for deeper contact and he rumbled low in his throat when our tongues teased each other.
My hands were up under his sweatshirt, my nails dragging down his skin, pulling him closer in a frenzy. I needed to feel him everywhere. I’d been without him for so long that I was starved for him .
He pulled his mouth away, trailing kisses over my face, cheeks, eyes, and back to my lips. Then they trekked down my neck and back up to my ear. “I can’t stay away from you,” he murmured.
“Then don’t.” I sighed blissfully as his hands cupped my ass, lifting me, and my legs wrapped around him, feeling his hardness right where I needed him. “Don’t leave me again, please,” I pleaded, pulling his sweatshirt over his head.
His hands made quick work of the buttons on my shirt and then we were skin to skin, both of us sighing at the contact. He walked us towards the bedroom door, managing to kick Teddy out and shut us in and never once moving his lips from mine.
He lay me down on the bed and pulled back. His eyes wide and hot on me, his hair spiky from where I’d tugged at the strands. His stare roved over my face before he lowered himself to his forearms, stroking my hair and touching his nose to mine. “So beautiful, sweetheart,” he whispered and I nearly sobbed.
I writhed against him and he grunted as he worked our pants off. Then his hands were spreading me open and tracing slick circles over me. He pulled back to watch my face as he worked me, taking me higher and higher and my eyes fluttered closed right as I was about to fall.
“Stay with me,” he said. “Stay right here.”
I opened my eyes as my climax slammed into me, watching him, the intensity in his stare, the love. I whimpered, my body shuddering and clenching but he wasn’t inside me.
“Now, Jack,” I sobbed and then a moment later he was filling me up. So thick and perfect.
He hooked an arm under one of my knees, bringing it up and hitting me deeper. My eyes flew wide as he pounded into me and grunted with each thrust. His muscles flexed as he worked and our skin slid together, damp with sweat. He tilted my hips, hitting that spot inside me that had me crying out as another peak loomed.
“Come for me, sweetheart,” he begged, pressing a wet kiss to my lips. The endearment, the plea, the pleasure, it all built and then I was thrashing under him as I came again, muscles squeezing him tight.
“I love you,” slipped out but I didn’t care. I meant it, I truly did. And then he was shuddering over me, pressing kisses all over my face as he moaned through his release. He rested his forehead on mine, panting.
“Did you mean it?”
I nodded. “Yes, not great timing but I meant it.”
His eyes squeezed shut. “I love you, too.”
My heart skipped a beat. “You do?”
“I do, so much I can hardly bear it,” he groaned, then kissed me again, rolling us so he could hug me tight.
“But…” I trailed off.
“I know, I know. I was an idiot.” He pulled back, brushing my hair off my forehead and stroking the strands. “I thought our history and issues would sink us and I didn’t think I could survive the heartache. Then Gertie talked some sense into me—”
“Gertie?” I asked, startled.
“She’s a great friend and a tiny, scary woman,” he nodded solemnly.
I laughed. “That she is.”
“I decided to start seeing a therapist because you were right. I’ll never understand how you can forgive me, I’m just beyond grateful you can. But I haven’t forgiven myself and don’t know if that’s possible. I was punishing myself but I was also exhausted from fighting it. I’ve been going to therapy to try and work on living with it all.”
I stroked over his face, his stubble grazing against my hand. “How’s it going?”
He turned his head and pressed a kiss to my palm. “It’s hard, it’s still early days and there’s a lot of work to do but I can’t stay away from you anymore. It’s been too hard, and call me selfish, but I don’t want to.”
“I don’t want you to, either.”
“I don’t know what I did to deserve you but I’m so grateful. I love you so damn much, you’re the most amazing woman.”
“You’re not too bad yourself,” I replied, and he barked out a laugh.
There was a whining and a scratching at the door and Jack sighed before throwing the blanket off us and striding to open it. I watched the way his ass flexed and his thighs moved, obsessed with every single part of him. Then Teddy was running into the room and launching himself at me.
“Even my damn dog loves you so much,” Jack grumbled, coming back to bed.
“And I love him too,” I smiled. “But not as much as I love you.”