Chapter 20
Phoenix
I was pissed, shell-shocked and turned on all at the same time.
Pissed that Levi had thought he could just walk away and I’d actually let him.
Shell-shocked to learn the lengths Levi had gone to try to stop what had happened to Seth. I’d never thought to ask Ronan about how help had gotten to Seth in time, but if Levi’s call had gone through, I had my answer.
And the turned-on part was pretty obvious because Levi was trying to climb me like a tree as his need grew. I knew I needed to stop all this and talk to him about T, but my body wasn’t cooperating.
Neither was Levi because his hands were all over me as his tongue dueled with mine. When we were finally forced to come up for air, he whispered, “I want to know what it’s supposed to feel like.”
“What?” I asked.
“Making love,” he murmured. He began pressing soft kisses against my mouth. “I want…I want to know what having a man inside of me is supposed to feel like. ”
I stilled at that because it was the last thing I’d expected to hear. “Levi-”
He put his finger over my lips to stop me from talking.
“You said sex is something that should be freely given, not taken. I know you said I could be inside of you, and I want that – I really do. But I want to give you more than my body. Ricky, the men in prison…they took something else from me. I want it back.”
I knew exactly what he was talking about. The violations he’d endured hadn’t been about stealing sex from him. No, it had been about taking away his power, his control, his ability to choose. Fucking me might give him some of those things back, but it wouldn’t be the same.
Because he needed to choose to give himself to me. And he needed to know that he could change his mind at any point.
His trust in me was humbling, but it also frightened me.
I had this one opportunity to undo some of the damage that had been done to him…
to make him see that he had worth…that he was worth fighting for.
He wasn’t that terrified little boy whose voice no one had heard when he was being tortured by the brother who should have protected him.
And he wasn’t the broken man the fuckers in prison had left humiliated and bleeding on a dirty shower floor.
He was my Levi.
My beautiful, brave, kind-hearted Levi who continued to get up no matter how many times he was knocked down.
I used my hands to caress his face, mindful of the bruises. “You can say no. Anytime, no matter what. This isn’t something I need in order to be with you.”
“I know. And I know you’ll stop if I can’t find the words to tell you myself.”
I nodded and then leaned down to kiss him.
His mouth moved hungrily over mine, so I used that to gauge his reactions as I ran my hands all over his body.
The only time he wavered was when my hands roamed over his ass, but his tension was a fleeting thing.
But I knew I’d have to go slow, because it would take just one wrong touch or word to send him right back to the past .
I lifted him up and was pleased when he instantly wrapped his legs around me.
It was a short walk to the bed and when I laid him on it, I let some of my weight press down on him.
Levi kept his legs wrapped tight around me, but when I straightened so I could remove my shirt, he released me and levered up on his elbows to watch me.
I’d always kept my body in prime condition because it was a requirement of the job, but knowing how much Levi enjoyed it was an added benefit.
After tossing the shirt aside, I put my hands around Levi’s hips and gently pulled him towards me so his ass was closer to the edge of the bed.
The position would come in handy shortly.
I helped him sit up and then reached down to lift his shirt off.
He tensed briefly, but didn’t try to stop me.
His eyes were bright with desire, so I knew he was still with me.
As I drew the shirt over his shoulders, his hands came to rest on my hips and then slid down to explore my outer thighs.
His gaze went to the bulge in my jeans before he lifted his questioning eyes to mine.
I nodded, since it seemed like he wanted permission to touch me.
His fingers were shaking as he worked my button free and then carefully pulled the zipper down.
I helped him push my jeans past my hips, but didn’t reach for my underwear since I wanted to see what he would do.
His hand came up to tentatively stroke me through the briefs.
I willed my body to relax, but it was an impossible request with Levi’s fingers exploring my length and thickness.
When he removed his hand, I thought maybe he was finished, but then his hands slid around to my ass and he pressed his nose right up against my crotch.
He nuzzled my cock through the fabric and then, without warning, closed his mouth around the shaft.
I couldn’t stifle the groan that spilled out of me.
Levi’s eyes lifted to mine. “I…I never liked this part, but I want to see if it’s different with you. I don’t want you to be disappointed if I can’t-”
I leaned down to stop his words with a kiss. “Nothing you do will ever disappoint me,” I said and then I lifted again.
Levi’s fingertips grazed my skin as he reached for the waistband of the briefs.
He took his time sliding them down my hips, carefully working the material over my hardness.
He studied me for a long time before he put his hand around the base of my dick and stroked up towards the tip.
I knew it would be an impossible thing to be silent for his explorations because just the sensation of his hand on my highly-sensitized cock was enough to have me moaning deep in my throat.
I watched pre-cum well up from the tip and slide down the shaft until it hit Levi’s hand.
The contrast of his pale skin against my dark flesh was mesmerizing, as was the sight of his mouth parting when my juices continued to gather at the juncture where his thumb met his finger.
I watched in fascination as Levi released me and lifted his hand to his mouth.
His pink tongue darted out to taste the nearly clear fluid.
‘Fuck,” I whispered before I could stop myself.
Levi’s eyes returned to mine as he considered my taste. It wasn’t until he leaned forward and let his tongue flick against the head of my dick that I had the answer to the question of whether or not what he’d tasted had turned him off.
Every time more pre-cum bubbled up, Levi licked it away. I was already struggling to control my raging lust when he closed his mouth over my tip and sucked gently. A ragged moan tore free of my throat which had Levi looking up at me, even as his mouth remained wrapped around my cock.
“Jesus,” I whispered as I took in the sight of his lips stretched around me. No fucking way I was going to last.
I let him pull me a little deeper down his throat, but when the base of my spine began to tingle and the pressure in my balls mounted, I gently pulled Levi to his feet and kissed him. “Not going to last if you keep doing that,” I murmured against his mouth.
“You taste good,” he said with a sigh.
“God, you’re killing me here,” I said with a groan. He smiled against my mouth.
“I’ll behave, I promise.”
I chuckled and kissed him again. I was glad that he was feeling good enough to joke with me.
I kissed him long and deep as I began working his pants open.
When he didn’t protest, I pushed his pants and underwear down and then urged him to sit on the bed so I could get them all the way off.
As soon as he was naked, I settled my weight on top of him.
From what he’d told me about what his brother had done to him, I’d surmised that he’d been raped from behind, so I most definitely wanted to keep us face to face.
Though that wasn’t the only reason.
Not by a long shot.
Levi’s hands roamed over my back as we made out, but it wasn’t until they gripped my ass that my lust shot to a whole new level. I began humping against him so our cocks were rubbing back and forth over one another. Levi let out a little whimper as he began thrusting his hips upwards.
“Phoenix,” he croaked.
I knew what the desperation in his voice meant and while I was eager to get inside of his tight little body, I knew he wasn’t anywhere near mentally ready.
So, I lifted off him enough so that there was some much-needed space between our bodies and then I trailed my lips down his neck.
I nipped at him gently before I sucked on his skin hard enough to leave a mark.
A mark he’d see for days to come and remember this moment.
Now I just needed to make it memorable in a really good way.
I braced myself with my arms as I worked my way down Levi’s body, nipping, sucking and licking as I went. I left practically no part of him untouched.
Except his cock.
I bypassed that altogether and slid to the floor so I could lift his legs up and drape them over my shoulder one at a time so I could give them equal attention.
Even his toes weren’t ignored. By the time I’d released his leg and lowered his foot back to the floor, Levi had taken his cock in hand and was stroking it swiftly as his eyes remained glued on me. I enjoyed the show for a while.
“Are you thinking about my mouth on you, baby?” I asked smoothly as I ran my palms back and forth along his thighs.
He nodded and then licked his lips.
I leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his thigh as I watched him work himself. Then I pushed his legs open. Levi tensed briefly and his hands stilled on his dick, but when I didn’t just dive right into his hole like he was probably worried I would, he relaxed and began fucking his hand again.
“Keep doing that,” I urged as I pressed kisses along his inner thigh and worked my way upwards, inhaling the scent of man, musk and arousal as I went.
When I reached his dick, I ignored his pulsing flesh and pressed kisses against his hand instead.
Then I slid my tongue down until I reached his balls.
He jumped when I licked over one, but I pressed on and sucked one into my mouth.
“Fuck!” he shouted and his hand began pumping his dick more frantically. I sucked on him for a few seconds and then switched to the other one and gave it the same attention. Only when I’d enjoyed the taste of him there did I move my mouth.
But not up towards his dick.
Which was certainly what Levi had been expecting.
With the position he was in, my first tentative lick over his hole was limited, but his reaction was no less intense. He bucked off the bed and sat upright and put a hand on my shoulder to stop me.
“What…what are you doing?” he asked. “It’s…”
He shook his head, at a loss for words.
It didn’t surprise me in the least that he’d never been rimmed before. He likely hadn’t been fingered before either. Guys had just shoved their dicks into him, so he was clearly expecting me to do the same.
“Does it scare you?” I asked, not willing to give up on giving this to him just yet.
“No, but it’s…”
“Wrong?” I asked. “Dirty? Forbidden?”
He nodded, but I was glad that he didn’t seem entirely certain. I straightened enough so I could reach his mouth. I was glad that he let me kiss him, considering how freaked out he was by where my mouth had just been.
“Nothing we do together is ever wrong,” I said. “Or dirty.” I kissed him again. “I want to make you feel good, that’s it. If you don’t like it, I’ll stop.”
“Has someone done it to you?” he asked .
I nodded. “A couple of times, but the best time was the first guy who did it to me…my first boyfriend in high school.”
“I’m sorry, I know I’m being ridiculous.”
“No, you’re not,” I murmured. “I like knowing that I’m the first one to show you that nothing about sex between two consenting adults is wrong…
and that when it’s between two people who love each other…
well, there’s just no way to explain that.
You’ll have to trust me just a little longer to show you. ”
“I do,” he said without hesitation. “I trust you.”
“Good, then will you lie back? Give me a minute, that’s all I ask.”
Levi didn’t even hesitate for a moment. He just laid back down on the bed and spread his legs wide again. And when I reached for each leg and moved it until his feet were flat on the edge of the bed, exposing his hole completely to me, he didn’t protest.
I leaned in and pressed a kiss against his puckered flesh and hoped like hell I didn’t screw this up.