Chapter 21 #2
By the time his finger was completely inside of me, my need had grown again and I was eager to get his mouth back on mine.
When I tugged Phoenix down, he happily covered my mouth with his and kissed me hungrily.
He captured my moan as his finger pulled out of me before carefully easing back in.
It still stung, but there was something else too.
Something more than just the sparks of electricity licking at my balls.
It was a hunger of some kind.
But not like what I’d been experiencing since the moment he’d kissed me earlier tonight.
No, it was different. A need. I was too empty.
Even with his finger inside of me, it didn’t feel like enough.
And while I knew his cock would cause me at least some pain – there was just no avoiding it – I still wanted it.
“More,” I murmured, hoping he’d know what I wanted.
Because I certainly couldn’t form the words.
The finger inside of me began to pump in and out with more frequency.
The burn faded and something else took over.
I was just starting to enjoy the sensation and began bucking my hips up to meet Phoenix’s finger when he twisted inside of me and hit something that sent shockwaves through my entire body.
It had to be akin to being struck by lightning.
The difference in sensation was that intense.
“Oh, God, please!” I wailed, even though I had no clue what I was asking for. But whatever it was, Phoenix gave it to me again.
And again.
Over and over until all I could do was cling to him, eyes closed, tears trailing down my cheeks.
Phoenix kissed me and whispered, “Levi,” and then stopped whatever it was he was doing to me. I wanted to beg him to continue, but I forced my eyes open when he ordered me to.
“I can make you come just like this,” Phoenix said as he pressed against that spot again.
I let out another shout. My body felt strung so tight, I was sure it would cleave in two when my orgasm hit me.
If it hit me.
Because at this rate, I had no clue what was happening.
I was about to tell him yes, anything to make him finish what he’d started, but then I felt his dick pressed against me and I remembered what I really wanted out of all this.
Not just to experience pleasure.
But to experience it with him .
“No…no, I want you inside me,” I managed to say, though I was having trouble catching my breath.
Phoenix nodded and then kissed me. “I’m going to use a second finger to open you up a little more, okay?”
I nodded.
There was little pain and only a slight burn as he pushed another finger into me.
He fucked me a few times with both digits, then he hit that magic spot again and I arched my back.
I felt Phoenix shift away from me, but he somehow managed to keep his fingers inside of me, gently tickling that place that had me hovering right on the edge of perfection.
I’d finally come to realize it was my prostate.
Phoenix continued to massage my inner walls with his fingers even as he tore the condom package open.
I felt bereft when he finally pulled his fingers free of me so he could work the condom and some lube over his length.
As on edge as my nerves felt as they waited for the imminent orgasm, I was starting to feel tense again as I took in the size of Phoenix’s cock.
He was definitely bigger than anyone I’d ever been with, but I reminded myself that even the guys in prison who’d had smaller cocks, had still made me feel only pain.
Because that was what they’d wanted me to feel.
I forced the memory away because it had no business here.
Phoenix settled between my legs, but didn’t shove into me. He just kissed me gently, sipping at my lips like I was a fine glass of wine or something.
“I want you to keep your eyes open,” he said. “I want you to see me, the man who loves you. Only me.”
It was almost an order and one I would gladly follow. Because I knew he was right. If I closed my eyes, my mind would play tricks on me.
“I promise,” I said.
It wasn’t a hardship to keep my eyes fastened on Phoenix’s.
Because he was just so beautiful and perfect…
I didn’t want to miss any of the expressions that flashed through his eyes as he positioned his cock at my entrance and began to push into me.
Yeah, it hurt. I couldn’t pretend it didn’t.
But the pain was a drop in the bucket co mpared to what I’d known in the past. And I still had the lingering pleasure from everything he’d already done to me to hang on to.
Once his crown breached me, he hung there, letting me adjust. The pain dissipated, leaving behind an intense burn.
“Good?” Phoenix asked.
I sucked in a breath and nodded. I had my hands on his biceps.
The muscles rippling beneath my fingers were a constant reminder of how strong this man was, but how gentle he was being.
He took his time working his length into me.
He’d occasionally pull back a little, causing an intense tugging sensation that didn’t feel at all bad, before he rocked back into me.
By the time he was fully seated inside of me, I felt stuffed full.
And I loved it.
The mix of pain, burning and pleasure had my whole body trying to adjust to the mix of sensations.
But the best part was the way Phoenix was wrapped around me.
Around me.
In me.
He was a part of me.
And I him.
I’d never felt more complete in my whole life. Everything was right in my world.
“So beautiful,” Phoenix whispered against my lips.
“I love you so much,” I said with a shake of my head, because I knew the words weren’t enough to convey what I was feeling. And I knew it wasn’t just the high that came along with the pleasure. It was more than that.
“I know, baby. I love you. And I promise you, we’re going to figure all this out and then we’ll be together. You’re mine, do you understand me?”
I nodded.
I was his.
No matter what any man did to me after this, I would always belong to Phoenix .
“Yours,” I said softly. He kissed me hard and then he began moving.
The result was powerful.
My dick, which had gone soft when Phoenix had begun his entry, sparked to life.
My whole body lit up with need, excitement and anticipation.
I wrapped my arms around Phoenix’s broad shoulders and my legs went around the backs of his.
There was no space between us whatsoever, but I’d never felt freer.
I clung to him as he began to shuttle in and out of me with more speed and intensity.
“Keep your eyes on me,” Phoenix reminded me. I did, but not because I had any fear about seeing someone else if I closed them. There was just no mistaking who I was with.
Every time Phoenix rocked into me, his tight abdominal muscles brushed my cock, causing me to moan because of the sweet, agonizing pleasure of it all. My orgasm was just beneath the surface, but unlike the first one which had snuck up on me, this one was building infinitely slower.
And I knew it was because Phoenix wanted it that way.
His power over me, himself, us, was absolute.
His body worked mine expertly. Each time the climax built on itself, I sucked in more of Phoenix’s sounds, smells and flavors.
The heat wafting off his body, his powerful muscles flexing beneath my fingers, his sweat mingling with mine…
it all just drove me higher and higher. It got to the point that I was afraid of the climax that was coming.
I wouldn’t be able to control it. Not it, not myself.
On the one hand, it was what I wanted. But now that it was here, I was scared.
“I’m right here,” Phoenix reminded me, his voice hoarse and gruff as he pounded into me. There was no longer any pain or burn. Just pressure and friction and heat. And that coil winding tighter and tighter inside of me.
“I’m afraid of it,” I admitted between ragged breaths.
“I know you are, baby, but you don’t need to be. This is what love really is.”
And I knew that was what I was afraid of. Not the actual fall, but knowing it was the beginning of the end. Knowing what I’d have to do once it was over.
I wanted to resist as long as I could, but when Phoenix shifted his hips and hit that spot deep inside of me, I was helpless to stop the release that shattered me into million pieces.
I screamed as the pleasure rolled over me with the strength of a hundred freight trains. Blackness threatened my vision, but the sound of Phoenix’s guttural cry and the feeling of his cock pulsing inside of me kept me grounded and I forced my eyes open to watch the man in my arms fly apart.
I had no words to describe him in that moment. But I’d remember it forever.
I welcomed Phoenix’s weight as he crashed down on me. I was hot, sweaty and exhausted, but I couldn’t think of any place I’d rather be in that moment. The feeling lasted long after Phoenix withdrew from my body.
And after he gently pulled me from the bed.
And as he lovingly washed me in the shower.
And even as I fell asleep in his arms.
But by the time I opened my eyes just as the sun’s rays began filtering into the room, the feeling was long gone and I was once again cold and empty. And while it didn’t make it any easier to carefully extricate myself from Phoenix’s arms, it was a good reminder the night before had been just that.
A night.
A perfect night that I’d take with me and that would rest beside that other night I’d been carrying around in my mind for seven years.
As I got dressed and walked out of Phoenix’s room, I allowed myself one long last look at him and hoped it would be enough to see me through the coming days.