Chapter 15
Lily
Nerves flip in my stomach as I turn off the engine, Chris’s concerns about my safety echoing in my ears. My eyes fly up to the rearview mirror, looking for anyone who might be after me, but there are just a few couples and families milling around the parking lot.
No one is suspicious. Just normal people doing normal things.
“This is fine. Everything’s fine. Nothing will happen to me here.” Despite the trepidation I feel, there’s a budding giddiness within me that feels wrong but also…perfectly right all at the same time. “If something happens to me, I’ll call Chris.”
That thought gives me enough solace to open the car door and step outside. Common sense tells me I should be hesitant to stay with Chris, but the fear of being alone or with anyone else screams that this is absolutely the right choice. As unconventional as it is.
I swing my purse over my shoulder, lock my car, and walk toward the building.
This is a half-indoor and half-outdoor, year-round farmers’ market, and since it’s a little chilly this morning, Anna opted to wait inside for me.
I almost asked her to come to the parking lot, but I’d prefer not to tell anyone about last night if I can avoid it.
And I know she would ask why if I had made that request.
When I’m halfway to the door, my resolve starts to slip, and I quicken my pace.
Not enough to draw attention, just enough that it looks like I’m trying to get inside to warm up.
I whip open the door and hurry inside. Spotting Anna across the open area, I wave as I make my way to her. “Hi! So sorry that I’m a little late.”
She gives me a hug. “Don’t worry about it at all. I’m just glad you could make it.”
“Me too. This was much needed.”
With a sympathetic smile, she hooks her arm in mine and drags me to some booths down from where we are. “Good, let’s go. I’ve got money to burn.”
Grateful for my friend’s infectious mood, I allow her to lead me wherever she wants to go. There isn’t anything I need, as this was more to just get out of the house and not be alone.
Except…I’m not alone now since I’ll be staying with Chris.
My cheeks heat at the thought of staying at his place.
When I went up to bed the night before, all I could do was toss and turn, thinking about him sleeping just a few feet away.
I lay there thinking about how he was the first person I thought of when I was in trouble.
And how he didn’t hesitate to come to my rescue.
Maybe that’s why I’m not finding it odd to stay with him, knowing that he will help me the moment I need him without questions or stipulations.
At least for now.
I don’t understand it. I don’t understand him or my reaction to him, but it’s undeniable and strong.
Part of me thinks this is the universe’s cruel joke.
I meet a man who I feel an attraction to that I’ve never felt before, and it’s right after my husband is murdered, and he’s my attorney to defend me should I be charged for said murder.
Lost in thought, I follow Anna. This market is a mix of a traditional farmers’ market and a craft fair, with lots of vendors selling everything from homemade bread to jewelry to soap to goat’s milk lotion. We peruse a few booths and make a few purchases before she tells me she’s starving.
There are also restaurants inside, so I point to my favorite. “Do you want to get some pizza?”
She hooks her arm in mine once again. “Yes, I absolutely want pizza. Come on.”
After we order and are waiting for our food at a small table, Anna asks, “So you want to tell me about your attorney?”
My stomach twists for multiple reasons. She and I haven’t discussed the realities of my situation, though she no doubt figured it out when I called her from the police station. “What about him?” I take a sip of my soda.
Her expression slips into one of worry. “Well, I guess, for starters, do you really need one?”
I press my lips together and close my eyes for a moment. I’ve done everything to pretend like this possibility isn’t there. Like it’s just a bad dream. Telling myself there’s no way I could be charged with Blake’s murder. But it’s there. Hovering over me and suffocating.
I open my eyes. “It’s just as a precaution. I was questioned for obvious reasons, so I got an attorney.”
“I guess that makes sense.” Her eyes rove over my face, and I know what she’s going to say next. “You did a good job covering that at work.”
I probably should’ve made sure all my bruises were completely covered again, but wearing that heavy makeup for so many days in a row would’ve wrecked my skin. So, I opted for lighter coverage, knowing they’d be somewhat visible.
I reach over and grip my friend’s hand. “It’s all going to be okay, Anna. I promise.”
She doesn’t look convinced. “Is that what your attorney told you?”
Taking a moment to think back to all our conversations, I’m not sure if he’s told me that or not. Maybe it’s just the feeling I get in his presence, like nothing could go wrong with him fighting for me.
“Chris is a good attorney. I feel very confident in whatever happens, that he’ll make sure the outcome is the least impactful to me.”
Her smile is slow and conspiratorial. “It certainly doesn’t hurt that he’s hot as fuck.”
Heads turn our way at the laugh that pops out of me at her unexpected comment. One thing Anna is always good at is keeping things light, even though I know she feels things more deeply than most.
My returning smile is refreshing. “I can’t argue with you there.”
Squeezing my hand back, she catches my attention.
“I know from what you’ve told me in the past that things weren’t great between you and Blake for a long while.
” She gestures to my face with a lift of her chin.
“I hate with every fiber of my being that it was that bad. I’d like to hope that whenever that happened was the first time, but I’m not naive enough to think that’s the case.
Plus, I’ve suspected in the past, but never wanted to upset you by asking.
” Her hold on me tightens. “You’re one of the best bosses and, quite frankly, friends, I’ve ever had.
And if that’s what he did to you, then fuck Blake.
I hope he rots in hell. You deserve way better. ”
Tears that I haven’t allowed myself to shed in a few days gather in my eyes. Her heartfelt sentiments mean more to me than I could express in words.
Our numbers are called, and she jumps up. “I’ll go get our food. Let’s have a good rest of the day and forget all this bullshit.”
With a watery smile, I reply, “That sounds like a perfect day.”
Shopping and laughing with Anna was exactly what I needed.
We didn’t talk any more about the state of my life, with the exception of a few jokes about how attractive Chris is.
I deflect those comments since I’m not ready to get into anything regarding my feelings toward him.
Maybe if I don’t acknowledge them out loud, they won’t be real, or they’ll go away eventually.
As she’s walking me to my car, she says, “I want you to know that I’m here for you no matter what, Lily. I know you’re used to taking care of things yourself, but just know that you have someone to lean on if you need it.”
The tears return, and I sniff back my emotions. “Thank you, Anna. I’m incredibly lucky to have you.”
I give her a hug, and she leaves me to go to her own car. Once I’m seated inside, I allow a few tears to fall, needing to let them out. It’s like a pressure cooker, simmering until the steam gets too much and it has to be let out.
Better to do it now than in front of Chris.
When I finally get myself together, I send a text to Chris, telling him I’m leaving the farmers’ market and sending him my grocery list. Almost immediately, my phone alerts me to a text.
Chris: Got it. Let me know if you think of anything else. I’ll see you back at my condo in a bit.
My heart skips a beat. There isn’t anything special in that text. But there’s just something about Chris that confuses and intrigues me. He seems kind of like a grumpy asshole, but everything he’s done for me says otherwise.
My phone vibrates again.
Chris: Don’t let Hank con you into giving him food. I fed him more than enough breakfast, but he’ll sit by his bowl and meow like he hasn’t eaten in weeks.
Laughing, I text him back.
Me: Okay, I won’t feed him. But I make no guarantees that he won’t get a few treats since I saw where you stash them this morning.
Chris: I hope you’ll feel very bad when I’m abandoned by my cat when he wants to come live with you when you leave…
With a wide grin, I drop my phone into the cupholder. I know this isn’t a normal relationship between an attorney and client, but I remind myself that Chris most likely feels sorry for me. Poor middle-aged woman in an unhappy relationship, facing legal trouble.
I’m probably pathetic to him, and how he’s treating me is because of sympathy and pity, not anything more. That really is the most logical explanation. And I need to remember that.
By the time I pull into the garage, while dejected, at least I have my head on straight. There’s no use in getting lost in some girlish fantasy of the hot attorney falling for me.
Not to mention, my husband was murdered less than a week ago.
Sighing, I get out of my car and head to the elevator with my few purchases. I didn’t need these candles, but they made me happy, so I bought them. Not that I really have anywhere to burn them, since I can’t imagine Chris is into candles.
As I unlock the door and step inside, I’m greeted by a distant meow. Setting my bag on the kitchen counter, I walk around it and enter the kitchen to see Hank sitting exactly where Chris said he’d be. He stares up at me with a flick of his ears.
“I’ve already been warned about your scheming.
But I have something else for you.” I open the cabinet to my left and pull out a small bag.
Before I can even open it, Hank leaps onto the counter with a loud meow.
He sits, politely waiting for me to distribute his treats.
After giving him a few, I put the bag back in the cabinet.
Holding up my hands, I show him that I no longer have the bag. “No more, Hank. I don’t want to ruin your dinner.”
I grab my laptop and take a seat on one of the barstools at the counter. Opening it as Hank comes and lies down next to it, I tell him, “I’m going to start looking for places to live, Hankie. Can I call you Hankie?”
He doesn’t answer, so I assume that means I can. I open the browser and freeze, looking at my companion. “Isn’t it so funny this is the first time I’ve looked for my own place to live in like fourteen years?”
The sound of the front door opening pulls my attention away from my computer.
Chris walks in, carrying multiple grocery bags.
He’s dressed more casually than I’ve ever seen him, in worn jeans and a long-sleeve Henley.
His suits fit him well and accentuate his fit body to perfection, but this outfit really shows off how muscular he is, and my body reacts immediately.
Swallowing down my desire, I force the most casual smile I can. “Hi.”
His cologne wafts around me as he passes, and I inhale deeply, committing it to memory.
“Hello. How was your day at the farmers’ market?” he asks as he sets the bags on the counter.
“It was good.” I gesture to my purchases on the counter next to me. “I got some new candles. Which I realized is stupid since I’m a squatter at this point.”
One side of his lips lifts. He reaches over and picks up each candle, taking his time sniffing each one. It’s clear which is his favorite, with the approving nod to the third one.
He sets the last one down and starts opening drawers, looking for something. As he continues his quest for his unknown item, he juts his chin at my laptop. “You doing some work?”
Shaking my head, I bury my fingers in Hank’s fur, enjoying the softness against my palm. “I probably should, but no. I was just looking at options for places to live. I didn’t get very far.”
His frown is severe when he says, “I don’t want you to do that.”
I hold my breath for a moment as my stomach flips.
“For your safety,” he rushes out.
I press my lips together, my heart stuttering, even as I remind myself that he’s just trying to keep me safe. “You’re right. That can wait.”
Another thought crosses my mind as I close my laptop. I guess I might not need a place to live if my new home turns out to be prison. I swallow down the nausea.
The click of a lighter pulls me from the dark place my mind has gone. Chris is lighting the candle that he seemed to like the best.
I huff a laugh. “Chris, you don’t have to do that.”
He gives me a mock scowl. “But I want to. So don’t take enjoying this candle away from me.”
I bite my smile before replying, “I would never. We just have to watch Hank to make sure he doesn’t try to play with the flame.”
His frown returns as he moves his gaze from me to his cat. “Hank, don’t ruin this for us.”
Hank’s eyes flick from Chris to me, and I give him a pointed look, trying to convey my agreement with Chris’s statement, ignoring that we’re talking to a cat as if he can understand.
“Do you want to start dinner soon? I didn’t eat lunch, so I’m starving.”
I scoot the stool back. “Definitely. I’ll start now. Should be about an hour or so.”
His smile warms me. “Great, feel free to dig through any cabinets you need. I’ll be in the living room getting some work done, so just call for me if you need help finding anything.”
When he leaves me to go do his work, I blow out a slow breath, suddenly nervous to cook dinner for my attorney.
What in the heck is my life?