Chapter 16
Chris
Swiping my hand through the fog on the mirror, I stare at my obscured face.
Even through the distortion, I look shockingly refreshed.
I didn’t think I’d be able to sleep, obsessing about Lily being just feet away from me.
But instead, I fell asleep immediately and slept harder than I have in a very long time.
The only thing I would’ve changed about last night was if she was in my bed next to me.
Shaking my head, I groan softly at the bolt of arousal that thought brings, no matter how wrong it is. I need to focus on figuring out how to keep her safe and out of jail.
My phone vibrates on the counter.
Jack: I can come over a little later this morning if you want, and look over her security system. Does that work?
I texted Jack late last night, asking if he could help with Lily’s security system. Even though she isn’t staying there, I want her house to be protected just in case.
After responding that this morning works, I get dressed and brush my teeth.
I leave my bedroom to start the coffee, assuming Lily is still asleep.
I’m about to round the corner at the end of the hall when a noise alerts me to Lily’s presence.
A low humming hits my ears, followed by what I assume is Lily making coffee.
I stop and cross my arms, just enjoying listening to the sounds of this woman I’m so confused by, puttering around in my kitchen.
The humming stops, and she says something in a low voice. I know Hank has joined her.
It's only been a few days, but I can’t deny how much I like having her here. As much as I love my condo, there’s always been something missing. I’m beginning to wonder if that was having someone here with me. Hell, maybe that is why I kept Hank all those years ago. I didn’t want to be alone.
Before I can dwell on that too much longer, I step out of the hallway. Lily glances up, and the smile she gives me makes my heart skip a beat.
“Good morning. I hope I didn’t wake you up.”
I swallow hard as I work to keep my voice steady from the rush of emotion seeing her gave me. I blame my wayward thoughts for this. I know I sound gruffer than intended when I say, “No, I’ve been up.”
Her smile starts to fade, and I want to kick myself for not being friendlier. It’s not her fault my body can’t control its reaction to her.
She gestures to the hall behind me. “I’m going to go take a shower. I hope you don’t mind; I looked around until I found everything for coffee so it’s brewing. It should be ready in a few minutes.”
“I don’t mind at all. This is your home for the foreseeable future.
Help yourself to anything.” Including my bed.
I clear my throat. “I have a friend coming over to your house this morning to look at your security system. I’m sure the one you have is fine, but I want to make sure there isn’t anything else we can do to make it more secure. ”
I don’t miss the look of relief that passes through her beautiful features. “Okay, thank you. I think that’s a good idea.”
Nodding, I take a step toward the kitchen. “We’ll need to leave in about forty-five minutes, unless you need more time. If you don’t want to come with, I can go meet him since you gave me access to your system via the app.”
The other night, Lily asked if I wanted to download the app and let her log in on my phone. I never would’ve suggested it, but having access to keep an eye on the system did bring me a little bit of comfort.
She smiles. “I’ll go with you. I can be ready.”
I blow out a slow breath between pursed lips, dispelling some of the inappropriate feelings I’m having as I watch her walk away.
I need to get my shit together.
But first, I need coffee.
A little over an hour later, I’m back in Lily’s kitchen, answering emails on my phone while Lily’s upstairs on a call. The doorbell chimes. Assuming it’s Jack, I go to answer the door. When I pull it open, I find his grinning face staring back at me.
“This is some house.” He takes in my casual dress. “I was going to give you shit about making me leave my wife on a Sunday morning, but I don’t think I will anymore.”
I roll my eyes. “First of all, you asshole, I didn’t make you do anything. And second, it is the least you could do for all the times you idiots have called me, expecting me to help clean up your legal messes for you.”
Jack’s unfazed as he shrugs with a grin. “Wasn’t saying I’m not happy to help, just curious about whatever the hell this is.” He gestures to me, then to the house.
Sighing, I step outside and close the door behind me. “Sit down, and I’ll give you a quick rundown.” We each take one of the chairs Lily has on her front porch. “Carlos called me to help a woman who was about to be questioned in the murder of her husband.”
Jack rears back a little in surprise.
“He said he didn’t think she did it, and he knew her husband wasn’t a good guy. Carlos thought she needed the best defense. So, he called me.”
“How bad was he?”
I shake my head. “Besides the fact that he beat her up pretty badly right before he was murdered, and Carlos had been investigating him, he wasn’t great. But I don’t really know the extent.”
“Okay, so what makes you want to get her security system looked at?”
“Someone tried to break in on Friday night. She called me, and I want to make sure there isn’t more that could be done to make it safer here.” I omit the part about her not staying here.
He nods. “Alright, well, let’s see what we’re working with.”
I pull up the app on my phone and explain to him what I know about her system, showing him the different camera feeds on the app.
“Walk me around the house so I can get a feel for where each of the cameras is placed.”
We’re rounding the back of the house, when Lily steps out the back door with a coffee cup clutched in her hands as she holds it close to her chest. It’s obvious she doesn’t see us as she takes a sip and stares off into the trees lining the back of her property.
She looks serene and absolutely breathtaking in the morning sun.
Under his breath, Jack mutters, “Everything’s making a lot more sense now.”
Glaring at him, I hiss, “Shut the fuck up and do what you came here to do.”
He starts to walk toward the deck. “I should probably meet the homeowner of the house I’m working on.”
Sighing, I trail behind him. Lily’s face brightens as she sees us coming up the steps. “Oh, hi. I didn’t realize you were back here.”
Jack extends his hand. “Jack Sanders. Gorgeous house you have here.”
Lily takes his hand. “Lily Bennett. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you coming to take a look at everything. It’ll give me peace of mind knowing the house is as secure as it can be.”
He asks her a few questions, and they discuss some options. He tells her what he’s thinking about for a few minor improvements and explains why he’s recommending them.
“I think that sounds great. Let’s do it,” she accepts with a smile.
Jack nods once. “Perfect. I’m going to take a few pictures. One of my guys will be here tomorrow to set it up.”
She hesitates. “Oh, well, I won’t be able to be here. I have some meetings at work that I can’t miss.”
“I can be here,” I provide.
The look she gives me has my heart beating wildly. It’s an intimate kind of gratefulness that if Jack wasn’t standing right there, I might have found it difficult to resist the urge to touch her, even if it was as simple as a hug. That need is almost suffocating to me.
Jack claps me on the shoulder, jarring me from that moment. “Great, we’ll see you tomorrow then.”
The tone in his voice gives me the impression that he knows exactly where my mind was.
“I have some work I need to do, so I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me for anything,” Lily tells me before she turns and walks back inside.
As soon as the door shuts behind her, I look back at Jack, fully prepared for some smart-ass comment. But he gives me a reprieve when he says, “I’m going to go take those pictures real quick, then I’m heading out. I promised Gisella I’d take her shopping for some new furniture.”
I shake his hand. “Thanks, man.”
He jogs down the steps we just came up and disappears around the side of the house. I assume Lily’s position and stare off into the trees.
I need to talk to someone. Someone who knows me better than anyone, and who can give me advice.
I know exactly who I need to go see.
Tuesday morning, I’m sitting at a stoplight, and my car’s console alerts me to a text from Lily. Before the light turns green, I open it.
Lily: I want to cook again tonight. Are you in the mood for anything in particular?
This is a very blissfully domestic conversation that, for some inexplicable reason, makes me happy. That is, if you ignore the whole she’s my client part of it.
Me: Honestly, really anything you want to make will be great.
Lily: Okay! I’ll figure something out.
The light changes, and I drop my phone into the cup holder, a smile that feels unnaturally pleasant tweaking my lips.
I hated leaving her alone this morning. But she seems to be settling in nicely at my place and insisted she’d be fine for the hour before she had to leave for work. Even though it’s only been a few days, it’s become way too comfortable and easy to have her with me.
And she seems a little more relaxed than she was before she moved in. I’m sure she’s getting annoyed, but I keep asking her how she’s feeling. I need to know where her head is at so I can figure out how to best help her.
Last night, I had a moment of clarity as we were sitting on my couch, watching a movie. I’ve decided I don’t give a shit about how unprofessional my feelings are. I won’t act on them because I don’t know how she feels, and two weeks after her husband dies is probably terrible timing to hit on her.
But deciding to accept my feelings rather than fight them, even if they’ll never be shared with her, is freeing.
There isn’t this internal battle. They’re just there, and I acknowledge them and move on.
I still want to confide in one of my closet friends.
Get his take and hopefully have him validate my feelings and decisions.
Sitting at the small table, feeling unusually anxious, my leg jiggles as I wait for him to be brought over. Movement besides me catches my eye as the guard brings him over. I opted not for a private room this time, since it’s during normal visiting hours.
Tom swings his leg over the small bench across from me, smiling up at the guard. “Thanks, Brad.”
Brad nods and leaves us.
“Making new friends?” I tease.
He waves my comment off. “You know, these youngin’s are good guys for the most part. There are a few bad apples, but if you’re not an asshole to them, they tend to do the same for you.”
It wouldn’t surprise me if Tom became a mentor to these men just as much as he was to me.
That’s just who he is to his core, and being in prison doesn’t change that.
I never thought I’d be jealous of a prison guard, but there’s an undeniable heaviness in my heart when I think about the fact that they get that with him because they’re in here with him, and I’m not.
“Have you seen Seth lately?” Tom asks quietly.
I sniff hard and look away from him, my jaw muscle ticking in anger.
“Chris, you promised.”
Sighing, I thread my fingers through my hair. “I know, I’m sorry. I’ll go this week.”
Seth is Tom’s teenage step-grandson and the only other person besides me who he worries about.
I told him I’d check in on him regularly, but sometimes it’s hard.
Not because of Seth, who’s actually a pretty good kid, considering, but because of his mother.
I’ll loathe that woman until I take my last breath.
“But that isn’t why you came here,” Tom observes. “How’s the new client?”
I brush nonexistent crumbs off the table, trying to decide how to word this, before glancing up at my friend. “Complicated.”
He tilts his head and studies me. “How so?”
Clearing my throat, I swipe my fingers over my lips, as if that could lessen the impact of what I’m about to say. “I may have come to the realization that I’m wildly attracted to my client.”
His greying eyebrows jump toward his slightly receding hairline. “What are you going to do about it? Stop working for her?”
I’m shaking my head even before he finishes his sentence. “I don’t trust anyone to defend her.”
“You didn’t answer my question. What are you going to do about it?”
Pressing my fist to my mouth, I remember the decision I already came to this morning. “Absolutely nothing. I think I just needed to say it out loud to someone.”
Tom sighs. “Talk about shitty timing. For both of you.”
I huff a laugh, then mumble, “That’s a fucking understatement.”
I spend the next thirty minutes telling him about everything that’s happened over the last week. “And now she’s staying with me.”
Tom laughs and shakes his head. “So the woman you want and can’t have now lives with you?”
Nodding, I confirm, “Yeah, I’m in hell.”
He barks out a laugh. “Good luck with that.”
Glancing behind him, the clock on the wall catches my attention. “Shit, I have to go. I have a meeting with a new client, and if I miss it, Mandi will kill me. Or quit. And I’m not sure which will be worse.”
Tom chuckles. “She’s great. I miss chatting with her. Tell her to come visit sometime.”
Sadness seizes my lungs. Everyone in my life who’s met Tom loves him. He shouldn’t be here. I get into my car with a heavy heart, scared that I’m still not up to the task of making sure Lily doesn’t suffer the same fate.