Chapter 19
The service had been nice. They sent Pops off the best way they knew how, and the town showed up for him like I knew they would.
I’d arrived a little late because I didn’t want Jordan to see me and be on some bullshit. I wanted to go to River and comfort her, but I knew she was in good hands with her mom and her friends.
My heart raced every time we made eye contact.
It pained me to witness the hurt in her eyes, but she still tried to remain strong.
I wanted to engulf her in my arms and hold her tight while she released all her pain.
I wanted to kiss away her tears and reassure like I had been doing, that I was there for her.
I just wanted to be in her space. Things hadn’t been the same since we took a break from each other.
I was over that shit, but I knew I needed to talk to Jordan first. I missed my boy, and I knew things could be fixed with a conversation.
I saw him and River talking, so I gave them space, but when I saw him go outside, I went behind him.
He stood near the curb with his hands in his pockets, staring at the sky. The rain stopped, but the ground was still wet, and a few stubborn clouds lingered.
“I knew I’d find you out here,” I said as I approached.
“And I thought I told you not to show up.”
I shook my head and chuckled. “You knew that wasn’t going to happen. He was just as much of a father to me as he was to you.”
I shoved my hands in my pockets and moved a little closer to him. We stood next to each other in silence, both in our own worlds.
“I can’t believe he’s gone, man.” Jordan dropped his head and shook it. His voice wavered a little.
I patted his back when I noticed him swiping at his tears.
“It’s still crazy to me, too, but I’m glad I was able to spend some time with him.”
Jordan made a noise that resembled laughter, but there was no humor in it.
“Yeah, he told me how you came by. He also told me that no matter what, I had to remember our friendship and that you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.
At first, I didn’t understand why he said that, but now I know.
” He turned to face me. His eyes were still wet and red. “Why my little sister?”
I let his question filter through my mind for a second. This conversation was long overdue, and I knew I needed to be honest with him.
“For one, she’s not your little sister, she’s a grown ass woman.
” I kept my tone steady. “But why not? River is beautiful, smart, ambitious, funny, and she’s about her business.
I mean, what is there not to like about her?
I didn’t purposely make myself like her; it just happened.
You know me, though, J. You know I wouldn’t fuck her over. ”
He stared at me for a second.
“I know, man.” He rubbed his hand down his face. “It’s just crazy. My best friend and my sister. I never thought I’d see the day. You know how protective I am over her.”
“And you know I am the same. That won’t change. If anything, I’d be even more protective. That woman in there has my heart, J. I can see myself marrying her.”
Over the last couple of weeks, I realized just how hard I’d fallen for River. I was ready to risk my friendship for her if I had to. That was how serious I was about her.
“Damn, like that?”
“Like that.”
Silence fell over us again. I had a feeling he needed to think over what I confessed to him, and I gave him the time to process it.
“I guess I have to accept it. I don’t need to tell you not to break her heart, because you ain’t that type of person.
” He paused for a couple of seconds. “She told me how you wanted to tell me, but she didn’t.
I appreciate you for at least wanting to.
Most importantly, I appreciate you for being there for her.
I could see how happy she was when y’all were spending time together.
I also knew when y’all stopped because her attitude changed, and I knew it just wasn’t because of my dad.
I just want her to be happy, and if that’s with you, y’all got my blessing.
It’s not like y’all needed it.” He laughed.
“And by the way, I’ve been feeling guilty about putting my and River’s situation before our friendship, and everything going on with Pops,” I told him.
Jordan waved me off and scoffed.
“On some real shit, I’m glad you were there for River. My wife had me, but at times, I worried about my sister. It’s all good.”
He smiled and held his hand out. When I placed mine in his, I pulled him in for a hug.
“I love you, brother,” I told him.
“Love you, too. This shit should be winding down soon. Go get your girl.” He pointed his head in the direction of the door.
“I will. Let’s catch up soon,” I told him as we slapped fives.
He agreed, and I turned to go back inside. My steps were a little lighter, and I prayed that River was ready to pick things up where we left off.
When I walked back inside, I found River talking to her friends. Sophie spotted me first and offered a smile. Her action made Lily and River turn in my direction.
“Ladies, you mind if I steal River for a moment?” I asked as I approached.
Both ladies looked at River, and she nodded. Lily whispered something in River’s ear that caused her to giggle. It was quiet, but it was enough to make my heart relax.
“Hey,” she said when they walked away.
“Hey.” I gazed into her eyes. They held a slight sadness but something else. Maybe it was hope that everything would be okay.
I inched a little closer to her and wrapped my arms around her waist, and she didn’t stop me.
“Asking you how you are feeling probably isn’t the right question, but how are you feeling?”
She smirked and closed her eyes. “I’m here. The last week has been draining. I think after today, I can start putting my life back together.”
“Does that include me, too?” I asked as the corner of my mouth lifted.
I looked down at the dress she had on that hugged her curves. It was appropriate for the occasion but still sexy on her.
“I talked to Jordan, and he’s okay with us dating,” she informed me.
“Good, because I talked to him as well. I’m glad he’s cool with it, but I wasn’t going to stop anyway. I told you until you tell me to stop, I’ll be here.”
She put her head on my chest and put her arms around me. We held each other as I inhaled her smell. I missed that shit, and I hated it once her scent disappeared from my house.
“So where do we go from here?” She looked up at me.
“We go back to my place, and I cater to you for the rest of the day. I’m sure you are overwhelmed with everything that happened today, and talking to so many people. We can get some food and chill. I just want you back in my arms again.”
“Can I say goodbye to everyone?”
“Of course you can.”
I released her and stood back as she walked to her mom and her friends.
“Everything okay now?” my mother asked as she approached me.
“They are.” My eyes were on River while she hugged her friends.
My mom rubbed my arm. “Glad to hear it. The next few weeks will be the hardest for her, but I’m glad she has you. Do whatever you need to do to comfort her and keep that smile on her face.”
We both watched River while she made her way around the room. For the moment, she was in a good space, but I knew she would have her moments. Grief came unexpectedly, but I wouldn’t leave her side.
My mom and I said our goodbyes, then she went to help start the cleanup process.
“I’m ready,” River said as she came back to my side.
I held my hand out, and she grabbed it.
“Wow. I didn’t realize the sun had come out,” River mentioned when we exited the building.
“The sun is probably Pops shining down on us, letting us know that he’s still with us,” I told her as I led her to my car. “It also signifies new beginnings, and this is our new beginning.” I kissed her cheek as I opened the door for her.
The day started gloomy, but it turned out to be a beautiful day because River and I were on our way back to getting things on track.