Chapter Five
The Rez
Friday
Late Afternoon
Looking at his watch, Callen would be eternally grateful to be done with his shift. It had been a long one, and the last thing he was focused on was work. Truth be told, there was only one person running through his mind.
Ethan.
No matter what he did to try and stop dwelling on it, he was there, and he couldn’t keep dwelling on the situation.
Was this some subliminal message from his brain telling him to check on him?
It had to be.
There was no other reason to not be able to think about his brother. It was like a hyper-fixation, and if he just went there and did the deed, maybe he’d be able to go back to his normal day.
It was crazy how the one man could roll back onto the rez, and everyone was stirred up.
While he was supposed to be angry with him, and vice versa, he was anything but. Since Callen wasn’t one to carry a grudge out of the two men, he’d man-up and try to help.
Why not?
It wasn’t like he could get any angrier with him or stop him from being up in his brain all day.
Right?
What was he going to do?
Steal his cabin and move here forever?
Well, he had news for him. If it got Callen his brother back, he could have the cabin. It was only a building, and he knew it didn’t matter in the long run.
He’d build another.
Yeah, that was how much he missed and loved the man because he’d rather cut off a ball than live with the mad meddler or Mr. Al Coholic, his father.
As soon as he finished up his paperwork and clocked out, he’d give his deputies some work for the night shift. Then, he was going to head back to his cabin and make sure everything was okay.
It wasn’t like he could avoid his cabin-squatting brother forever.
Besides, that was the last thing he wanted to do.
Was he still pissed at his brother for what went down in New Orleans?
Oh, Hell, yeah, but there was something about Ethan that made him always want to forgive him. He was drawn to his brother, and it wasn’t exactly a comfortable feeling.
It made him…itchy.
Twitchy.
And all kinds of nervous.
That was the best way he could explain it. When his brother was around, he craved being right beside him. He desired nothing more than to be near the man.
That was an itch he simply couldn’t scratch, and it befuddled him.
No.
It scared him.
There was no one else he was drawn to quite like him, and he couldn’t explain it even if he tried.
So, he stopped trying.
It was what it was.
Right?
Maybe that was why he was so butthurt when Ethan bailed on their weekend in NOLA. He’d craved staying in a room with him again, like when they were younger.
Sleeping beside Ethan…
He couldn’t explain that either. He felt absolutely content and at peace.
To be honest, deep down, it freaked him out.
Why?
Because he shouldn’t have any of these feelings.
Truthfully, Callen knew what he felt for his brother, and he knew the countless times he’d watched Ethan sleep, curled against him to stay warm.
And that was exactly the sensation he felt when they were together.
It brought pleasure.
TOO.
MUCH.
PLEASURE.
Oh, and that made him worry.
From his past, he hoped and prayed that what was done to him as a child didn’t alter him in some way. He’d never been attracted to men, but for some reason, he was to Ethan.
And it was so wrong.
The man was his brother.
Okay, he was his half-brother, but they were still tied at the DNA.
Right?
Only, when Ethan stared into his eyes, or he heard his melodic laughter, Callen found himself falling. He didn’t even feel that for women. It had always only been with Ethan.
The Great Spirit knew he tried to replicate it again, and again, but failed.
Yeah, he was fucked in the head, and he knew it. That was the main reason he didn’t stay when Ethan showed up at his door.
Letting him leave…
It was getting more difficult each time. At some point, he suspected it would be impossible, and that would be problematic for all parties involved.
What he wanted to do was go to his cabin, lock the door, and tell Ethan he needed him to stay for him.
He wanted to tell him to stay with him.
Would he?
Callen didn’t know.
What he did know was that if his brother did stay for him, it would ruin Ethan’s life. The bottom line was that Ethan hated it here.
Could he ever learn to be happy on the rez?
Callen didn’t know. To find that out, he’d have to ask him, and that couldn’t happen. The other alternative couldn’t either.
Reading his brother’s mind was one of those things you simply couldn’t do.
He was an enigma.
That was the problem with his brother. One never knew what would happen with him. EJ was unpredictable, and that was dangerous to all parties concerned.
What Callen wanted was to be punched in the face, and a reset of their whole relationship.
Somehow, he didn’t think that would ever happen. That possibility seemed further and further away—especially since he knew Ethan was now with someone.
A.
MAN.
Callen was still coming to grips with that, even as he was also struggling with the jealousy of Ethan loving someone else.
Even as just his brother.
What wouldn’t Callen do to have his brother back?
As he was thinking, when someone came into his office, he glanced up.
“Hey,” he said to his deputy as he stopped in front of his desk. “What’s up?”
The man laughed.
Oh, there was a lot going on.
“The rez is stirred up. Word on the street is there’s a Blackhawk running around. Literally.”
Well, the jig was up.
It was clear word had spread like polo on a blanket.
He knew who wasn’t running around. Wyler was out hunting, Timothy didn’t run, and Callen was sitting at work. That left only one Blackhawk left.
“Yeah, he’s back.”
His deputy whistled anyone of their age knew about Ethan Blackhawk. He’d been a bad boy gone wild in his youth, and legend among all the other males on the reservation.
“Where’s Kaya Cheek? You know how she’s going to home in on your brother to try and take a ride.”
Callen knew what his grandfather had told him. Ethan was taking men for a ride now. Then again, if he and his boyfriend broke up…
He hoped she didn’t get her claws into him.
“Where is she at?” he asked, willing to cut that walking STD off at the pass. If she got her claws into Ethan, Timothy would go off and make a mess.
Bet.
On.
It.
He laughed.
“She gets off work in two hours. So, wherever your brother is,” the deputy offered. “Lock him down.”
Oh, he would.
He might not be able to do it, but he knew the mad meddler would. Kaya Cheek feared Timothy, and with good reason. He could, and would, make her life miserable.
Until the old man got wind of it, Callen would have to block any passes at him. Could he throw her in jail for twenty-four hours for shits and giggles?
Well, he would.
Desperate times called for desperate measures.
The last thing he needed was Kaya all over Ethan while he was running from something. Timothy would go off like fireworks on the Fourth of July, and that would be problematic.
Then, he’d be arresting his own grandfather for bitch slapping the woman.
Well, at least the Blackhawks were living up to their reputation once again.
There was no doubt that Ethan was going to cause trouble being here.
“That could be messy,” the deputy admitted.
Yeah, likely.
So, he’d handle it.
“Thanks for the heads-up. He was really out running?” Callen asked.
The deputy nodded.
“Yeah, one of the other deputies saw him, and reported in, Chief. He was a sweaty mess, and had to be cold, but he was just running and running in circles around the rez. Laps, one might say.”
Well, at least his brother was okay. If he was running, he wasn’t trying to hurt himself—unless he was trying to off himself with cardio.
With Ethan, who knew?
“Thanks,” he said, making a mental note to definitely warn Ethan about Kaya being on the prowl.
When the man headed out, Callen put down his pen and sighed.
It had been a quiet week, too, and had anyone told him it would culminate with his brother coming back, unwanted feelings of lust, and having to play ‘bat away the whore’, he wouldn’t have believed it.
This was proof that things were about to go to shit.
Like.
Always.
* * * Blackhawk & Cantrell * * *
The Rez Road
Near Callen’s Home
Blackhawk was sweating profusely, and the demons were still right behind him making chase.
In fact, they were on his ass, refusing to leave him the hell alone. No matter how fast or far he ran, they kept up with him, and that was problematic.
Ethan had been running for ninety minutes, pushing his body to the limit so he didn’t feel mental pain, but it was still there.
It already had its claws in him.
Deep down, he knew that the physical pain was what he needed to distract him, but even that wasn’t working.
Not.
At.
All.
Instead, he was thinking about Gene, his career, and what he’d given up.
Not far from his brother’s cabin, he stopped running so he could hunch over and catch his breath. The sweat dripped despite the snowflakes flying around him.
“What have you done?” he whispered. “Why wouldn’t you run to him?”
God.
Ethan couldn’t stop hating himself for what he’d thrown away. With the demons not letting up, he was having to fight them back by using logic.
“He loves you. For some reason, he sees value in you. Call him,” he whispered. “Go back and call him. You need him,” he said.
With each word whispered, the claws lessened. It was as if he was finding strength again. It was like something was giving him that little bit that he needed to push through the intrusive thoughts and find focus.
Blackhawk wasn’t sure where all of this was coming from, but he might just figure this out.
Maybe the run had worked after all.
“You’re going to go back to the cabin, get your phone, and call him. You’re going to tell him you need him to come get you and fall on your sword. You are NOT going to let him go. You have to fight this. Come on, EJ. Fight,” he whispered. “One last time. Push through,” he begged himself.