Chapter Five #2
So now, he would dig deep and find what was left in the tank to reach out to the man he loved.
Standing upright, he focused on the road ahead, and that was when he saw something.
Standing in the middle of the road, right in front of his brother’s cabin, was a figure.
A familiar one.
He was big and bulky.
What was this?
Was this a mirage?
Was he delusional?
Was he seeing things?
That had to be it because there was no fucking way Gene had come for him. There was no possibility that he’d be forgiven for freaking out and running in the opposite direction.
Could he get that lucky?
Had the man he loved come for him, after all?
“Gene?” he whispered, not able to believe his eyes.
As they stared each other down, Ethan saw the man move, and when he opened his arms, there was a strangled sob that came from deep within his chest.
And he ran again.
This time, he raced toward Gene as quickly as he could. He tore down that road, his body singing in pain, but in his heart…there was a glimmer of hope.
His person came for him.
It was like he always promised that he would, too.
For the first time in his life, someone cared enough about him to find him when he was slipping away.
As Gene stood there, he wasn’t one hundred percent sure that Ethan would come to him. He saw him hunched over, as if he was going to purge, and he almost ran to him.
But something deep within him said stay.
Wait.
Watch.
So, when on the woo-woo rez, you did what the voices told you.
Apparently.
Instead, he opened his arms, and the most miraculous thing happened. Gene heard that wounded animal cry and then saw the man he loved run as fast as he could toward him.
And in that moment, his heart was healed. While he was hurting over all of this, his mate, his lover, and his partner was definitely in a worse situation.
He.
Was.
Suffering.
He saw the desperation, the fear, and the fight to get to him, and he gave Ethan what he knew he needed.
Somewhere safe to hide.
As he reached him, he jumped the last few feet and slammed into Gene. Somehow, he managed to stay on his feet as he was crashed into with all of that force. Then, Ethan’s legs wrapped around his waist, and he clung to him.
“Gene,” he whispered, as his mouth sought out his in desperation.
And the kiss exploded around them.
Gene held on as Ethan devoured, that desperation clear in that one wicked kiss.
Tongues did battle.
Bodies stayed locked together.
Ethan’s hands were in Gene’s hair, and it felt like he was desperately trying to climb into his body by way of that kiss.
And Gene didn’t hate it.
That was for sure.
Instead, he let Ethan take everything he needed from him to refill himself. Because how could they love each other when one of them was struggling to love himself?
Slowly, Ethan broke the kiss, mostly so they could both get a deep breath. When he moved his face from Gene’s, he stared into his eyes.
“You came for me,” he whispered.
Gene didn’t mince words.
“I’ll always come for you, EJ. That’s how you know it’ll never be over. I will always come back for you when you need me.”
That was all he had to hear.
Tears fell.
They slipped down his perspiration-slick face, dripping down those chiseled cheekbones.
“Gene, I don’t know how to do this,” he whispered. “I can’t catch my breath. Save me.”
Well, that was exactly what he’d planned on doing.
In that moment, he saw that Ethan didn’t run because he didn’t want to be near him. He ran because he was in freefall, and about to crash and burn.
Well, he was here now.
Gene would take over.
To be honest, Gene was worried for his man. There was fear etched into the worry lines around his mouth, and he knew that look.
Ethan was one trauma away from complete and total meltdown.
The last time he’d seen that fear in his eyes, it was when he’d been in the hospital after being clocked in the head by a cuckoo, or when he’d kicked in the door and shot the man who was about to kill him.
This was a deep fear that had him by the balls.
Gene knew he needed to help him find his way out of it before it consumed him whole.
“I’ve got you,” he said, carrying him up the driveway, and toward the cabin. “You’re not alone now,” he added.
Ethan just held on.
He couldn’t believe that someone loved him this much that he’d show up here. His moral compass was back, and now, Ethan might have a fighting chance.
He wasn’t alone in this.
“Please,” he said. “I can’t do this by myself,” he added. “I’m spiraling.”
Oh, he was well aware.
Gene stared into his eyes.
“I’ve got you, Baby,” he promised. “I won’t drop you.”
And he wouldn’t.
The most reliable, sturdy person in his life had once more proven he would show up when no one else would. His own family bailed to avoid seeing him, but this man…
He was here.
In that moment, Ethan knew that he would be okay. No matter what, he knew that he’d pull through. Somehow, he just instinctively could feel it to his soul.
The cavalry was here.
His hero was here.
“I had to quit,” he whispered. “He took my badge because I wouldn’t go to Puerto Rico alone.”
Oh, well, he was aware, and the ‘he’ in question had gotten what he’d deserved for trying to break Ethan. There was no doubt in Gene’s mind that it was about studying them like it was a social experiment.
Yeah, fuck, no.
Now, he had more ammo in his belt to help fight off their boss if he came for them again.
IF he was dumb enough.
Because his man had to be cold from sweating and being out in the flurries, Gene got them inside the cabin and carried him toward the couch.
The whole time, Ethan was still holding on for dear life.
“I have something for you,” he said, making the man release him. “Here,” he offered, reaching around to the back of his body under his coat, and retrieving what he knew Ethan needed.
As he handed him the ‘gift’, Ethan’s eyes went huge.
There, in his hand, was his Glock and FBI badge. How could this be? How did this man get them back for him when he knew Gabe wouldn’t bend or relent?
Ethan couldn’t imagine what had to be done in order for this to happen.
Then, it hit him.
“It didn’t cost you your badge, did it?” he asked.
Because if it did, he couldn’t go back. For fuck’s sake, Ethan couldn’t survive without this man.
He was sure of it.
He’d be on a one-way trip to self-destruction-ville. He’d out-Cowboy any other rogue agent.
Gene knew the truth.
Oh, he’d been willing to take that route for Ethan. He would have gladly offered up his badge and gun so that Ethan could continue his dream.
The FBI to him was a job, but to his lover, it was his one mission in life. As his partner, that meant making sure he got it. Gene’s dream was to marry Ethan and have a life, not climb a ladder he couldn’t give a shit about.
Work paid the bills.
It didn’t feed the soul.
“No. We’re both good, and we need to be back in Philly by Monday. Gabe backed off,” he said, leaving it at that. He didn’t need to elaborate on the how behind it.
Gene had done what needed to be done.
He stood up to the bully, and this time, he’d won.
Oh, and he was sending LaRue a bunch of fucking flowers every year on this date.
Bet.
On.
It.
“Really?” he asked. “How?”
Gene paused, not sure if he should tell him, but with Ethan, it was best to address things and clean up after the fact. The last thing he wanted was for him to feel guilty about anything.
They’d been planning to use the information they’d found out about Daphne Carmichael for when it was dire.
To Gene, this had been dire.
“Well, let’s just say we used up our Sasha Harper card. He was shocked as shit that we figured it out. He’s off our asses now, but he’s likely never going to help bail us out. We’re on our own now.”
Ethan blinked, and that hurt his heart.
“Gene.”
His man stopped him.
“Don’t feel guilty. We used it because it was worth getting you your job back. Don’t let that demon pull you down.”
Slowly, Ethan closed his mouth, doing what Gene told him to do. Yeah, this was why he needed him. Gene helped him regulate that fight or flight.
Which was mostly flight.
When his man didn’t continue, Gene knew it was time to be honest.
So, he was.
It was time.
He stared into Ethan’s eyes, and he knew that in order for them to right this ship back on the correct path, he had to be upfront with him.
Because when you were in a relationship, you didn’t lie.
“This really hurt me.”
The second it was out of his mouth, Ethan froze like a deer in headlights.
Here it came.
Here came the pain.
“Getting that text and not being able to get to you did some damage, EJ.”
Ethan’s lip actually quivered.
So, Gene took the high road.
“I forgive you, but next time, come to me. We’re a couple, and we could have worked this out as a team. I’m not angry, but please don’t hurt me again like this. While I’ll always find you, it is painful to be abandoned. I have feelings too.”
Ethan knew he did, and he hated that he’d caused Gene even more pain. There was no doubt that he was the master at making a mess.
This was the proof.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “The panic…”
Gene palmed his cheek and pushed on with loving Ethan. No, it wasn’t easy, but it was definitely worth it.
“I understand that it was your fight or flight, and the latter one. I’m not accusing you or being angry because I know what chases you. Next time, let me run with you. Love me like I love you. That’s all I’m asking. Let me be beside you, and not behind you.”
His heart hitched.
Gene had to be in pain both physical from his injuries, and emotional, from what Ethan did.
So, he gave him his heart.
“I love you so much,” Ethan whispered. “I was dying without you. I can’t survive without you, Gene. I don’t know how to do it.”
Yeah, well, him too.
It appeared they were in the same boat. Just one of them was navigating the storm, and one was holding on for dear life. Gene knew his role, and he accepted it.