Chapter Sixteen
What do girls daydream for when they marry?
A home? A handsome husband? Do they wish for babies?
I think I would like to have a garden… and I would like for our home to be near a church where I can teach Bible stories to the children.
And mayhap I would like for my mother to come with us.
She does not seem happy here, confined as she is.
Mayhap if she comes with us, I can help her affliction.
Mayhap I will come to know her better… is there hope that we could even become close?
All of these thoughts were running through Kathalin’s head as she crouched next to a sprig of lavender that was trying desperately to come to life.
After Gates had left her, she had continued assessing the garden but her thoughts wandered to the inevitable ideas of the future with Gates.
He loved her. She was still overwhelmed with their conversation, with the reality of the situation, and it was something that brought a smile to her face even as she fussed with the dirt and dead weeds.
It was true!
Never in her life had she dreamed of a home and family, or of a husband, but over the past few weeks her life had changed so drastically that she was now thinking of such things.
Truthfully, it wasn’t hard to feel happy about it, either.
Even though she was not going to return to St. Milburga’s to take her vows, she truly didn’t mind at all.
She considered Gates a fair trade-off. As she’d told him, she could never go back to St. Milburga’s now that they had declared their feelings for each other.
It was so strange that her entire outlook on life had changed so much to the point where St. Milburga’s was no longer her location of preference.
It was wherever Gates happened to be.
Gates. Her smile grew as she thought of him, of his massive shoulders and powerful arms. He had a smile that lit up the room as if the sun itself was shining down upon them, and his voice…
God’s Bones, his voice was smooth and deep, like the finest wine.
She could drink it all day and all night.
She couldn’t even remember the days when she had sworn to hate the man, when he had dragged her out of St. Milburga’s bound hand and foot.
At this moment, the man she had met at St. Milburga’s seemed like a totally different person, certainly not the man she had warmed up to and fallen in love with.
Life was funny that way.
As she daydreamed of a future with her chosen knight and inspected the little, green growth in the dirt at her feet, the garden gate opened again.
She could hear it creak and slam back against the wall.
Turning, she saw that Gates had returned and she stood up, happy to see him once again, her heart fluttering wildly in her chest at the sight of him.
He was back so soon but it also seemed as if he had been gone an eternity.
Any time away from him now seemed like forever.
Brushing the dirt off her hands, she made her way towards him.
“Well?” she demanded softly, conscious that Mary, the servant, was still in the garden, over in the corner helping identify the shoots. “Did you speak with my father?”
Gates looked at her, the hopeful expression on her face, and he felt incredibly sad.
The entire walk over to the garden, he had felt nothing but determination and confidence, but now that he saw Kathalin’s expression, that determination and confidence was joined by sorrow.
He was so very sorry for what he had to tell her, sorry for the upset it would undoubtedly cause.
Even though he wasn’t entirely sure how Jasper would respond to his plea for Kathalin’s hand now that the de Lohrs held the marital contract, he was fairly certain Jasper wouldn’t jump for joy.
There was some doubt there, as there had always been, but he didn’t want Kathalin to see it.
It was imperative she see his positive attitude, as if they could conquer the world together, Jasper included.
Reaching out, he took her hand and began to lead her to a stone bench over near the western wall of the garden.
“Come with me,” he said quietly.
Kathalin eagerly took his hand. “Gladly,” she said. “What did my father say?”
Gates didn’t say anything for a moment. “I have not yet spoken to him,” he said as he took her to the bench. “I have not yet had the opportunity. I have, however, just come from a very interesting conversation with Alex that you and I must discuss. It concerns us both.”
Kathalin held on to his hand tightly with both of hers. He didn’t seem concerned as he spoke but she was naturally curious. “What do you and I have to do with Alexander?” she asked.
They reached the bench, partially shaded by a winter-dead birch tree.
He indicated for her to sit. “As of an hour ago, quite a bit,” he told her, sitting down beside her.
He continued to hold her hand, gazing into those bright blue eyes and starting to feel some angst. It was a struggle to control it.
“As you know, your father has arranged for a celebration in honor of your return from St. Milburga’s with the purpose of finding you a husband. This is already an established fact.”
The pleasant expression on her face faded. “I know,” she said. “But why do you mention this? Has something happened to this regard?”
She was starting to get excited and he shushed her gently.
“Nothing has happened as far as the celebration is concerned,” he said, being careful in how he delivered the following information.
“As far as I know, it is still going on as planned. In fact, Alex’s parents arrived a short time ago and it would seem that your father has already made up his mind on who you should marry. ”
Her eyes widened. “He what?” she gasped. “How is this possible?”
“That is simple,” he said, lowering his voice. “The de Lohrs have an eligible son. He has arranged for you to marry Alex.”
Kathalin’s reaction was instant. “De Lohr?” she said in outrage. “I cannot believe it!”
Gates held on to her hands tightly in an effort to keep her seated on the bench so she wouldn’t run off in a fit. It was imperative that she remain calm and listen to him, as he was trying very hard to stay calm himself.
“It is true,” he said quietly. “Alex came to tell me himself. He was there when your father made the offer to his parents and, according to Alex, his parents have accepted the contract.”
Kathalin simply stared at him, her features a mask of grief and horror.
It seemed as if she wanted to protest more, to yell more, to deny further what she had been told, but she couldn’t muster the will.
She knew that Gates would not lie to her about such a thing.
As realization dawned, the horror left her expression and grief was all that was left. She shook her head, slowly.
“It cannot be,” she said hoarsely. “Please tell me this is a mistake.”
“It is not.”
“A misunderstanding, then!”
Gates sighed, caressing her hands. “I wish I could tell you that it was,” he said softly. “But it is the truth. You have been betrothed to Alex.”
Kathalin held his gaze a moment longer before closing her eyes against the devastating news and hanging her head in sorrow.
“Oh, Gates,” she whispered. “This cannot be possible. I cannot believe my father has done this already. I thought we would have time… he spoke of finding me a husband but he never mentioned he already had someone in mind. And my mother – she said that she would give me the opportunity to give final approval over anyone they selected. Do you think she knows about this?”
Gates could only shrug his shoulders. “I do not know, sweetheart,” he said, feeling the anguish radiating from her.
The sorrow was in her very veins, flowing through her and into him as he held her hands.
“But let me speak on what Alex and I discussed; he came to me after Jasper made the offer and wanted to know what my feelings were for you. It seems that I have not been very discreet in my attentions towards you, sweetheart. Even though he already suspected, I told him the truth, that we love one another, and he has told me that he will refuse the contract. He does not wish to interfere in our feelings for one another. It is now our intention to go to Jasper whereupon Alex will refuse the marriage and I will ask for your hand. Between the two of us, I think we can convince Jasper to give his permission for us to wed. That is the plan, in any case, so I do not want you to lose heart. Promise me you will not despair.”
Kathalin was having great difficulty finding any hope in what he was saying. In fact, she was more upset over the fact that her mother gave her false hope that she would be able to approve a husband. That underlying fact seemed to eat at her.
“Then she lied to me,” Kathalin said. “My mother told me that I would have approval over a husband. She lied to me about it.”
Gates wondered if she even heard half of what he had said.
“She may not have been given a choice,” he said.
“Jasper may have acted without her consent or knowledge. Until you hear her side of it, do not be too quick to judge. Meanwhile, I want you to go up to your chamber and remain there until I come for you. I must have this out with your father and I need to know you are safely tucked away. Can you do this for me?”
She looked at him, confusion now mixed in with her grief. “Why must I be safely tucked away?”