Chapter Twenty-Nine
MATT
The streets are buzzing as I park in a side alley.
I can already hear the hype and energy from the fair filtering over from the next street.
Moving my jaw from side to side, I’m a little nervous being here without any security.
I know this is stupid. I know all it will take is for Charlotte to know who I am and to start fangirling for it to turn into a circus.
But from our conversations, she doesn’t seem to be the type to make a scene, even if she does know who I am.
I’m hoping this will work out, but either way, I am a fast runner. I let out a small chuckle at the thought as I jump out of my car, pull my cap down lower, and ruffle the hood around my neck, concealing myself a little more.
The sun sets lower in the distance, sending pinkish hues through the aqua sky, and it makes me think of Alex and how she should be here with me. This is something we would have done together.
Clicking my tongue to the roof of my mouth, I start the walk to the fair to find Charlotte.
My shoulders inadvertently rise, sheltering my face more from the swarm of people, but no one glances at me or seems to care.
I look like all the other guys here and head toward the giant tree next to the cotton candy station, where we agreed to meet.
It doesn’t take me long to spot her there—she's already waiting.
Charlotte looks as I imagined and like her profile picture—April from Parks and Recreation.
I half-smile as I look her up and down while she stands there in her jeans, a tank top, and a cargo jacket.
She looks cute. Stylish. And even though the look is, I guess, a little tomboyish, it’s still feminine on her.
Smiling, I walk toward her, and she turns, seeming to sense my presence.
Charlotte looks right at me and smiles as I approach.
She waves shyly, and I step in front of her and grin, watching her big blue eyes as they light up.
She furrows her brows, almost squinting at me.
“Matt?” she asks, and I nod.
“Charlotte?” I ask, and she giggles with a nod.
“Call me Charlie. Wow! You really are rugged up there, Mr. Inconspicuous,” she says, grinning at me from ear to ear.
I shrug and sigh. “I like not to be noticed.”
She nods and looks around to check if anyone’s within hearing distance, then looks back at me. “I understand that, but you know we didn’t have to come out in public… considering.”
I raise my brow and tilt my head. “Considering?”
She leans in closer. “Considering who you are, you jerk. You should have told me!” She slaps my arm playfully.
I smile weakly. So she knows who I am, but at least she didn’t scream and yell it to the entire universe. Guess that’s one good mark for her. “Sorry, just wanted you to get to know me, not who people see me as in the tabloids.”
She nods. “Yeah, I get that, but don’t worry, it doesn’t change anything, Matt. I’m still excited to get to know you, the real you, and I’m willing to listen to everything you have to talk about. I’m here for you,” she says, resting her hand on my arm.
“Thanks, Charlie. I haven’t had a whole bunch of luck with this internet dating thing, so to be honest, I don’t even know where my headspace is right now. I think I need a friend more than anything.”
She nods and leans in, giving me a brief, gentle, yet calming hug. “I’m here for you, Matt. However, you need me.”
I hug her back, and it’s nice to have someone who’s willing to be a friend. I pull back and look toward the street fair. “Wanna get some food and sit on the grass for a bit?”
“Sure, let’s have a chat,” she says, grabbing my hand and leading me toward the hot dog stand.
We spend the evening sitting on a grassy knoll, chatting about everything. I tell her all about Alex, about what happened, and about my prior internet dating history. I don’t know why I feel the need to unload everything on her, but something about her is soothing and makes her easy to talk to.
Charlie’s a fantastic listener and gives great advice at the right points in the conversation.
She doesn’t mind that I keep my shades and cap on the entire time, even though the sun has gone down and it’s clearly nighttime.
I feel comfortable around her. An ease I haven’t felt with anyone other than Alex, and it’s nice.
Although she isn’t quite in the same league as Alex.
While most of the night has been about me, which has been cathartic and nice to release some built-up tension, I’ve learned a little about her too.
About her family, about her lifestyle. Charlie’s an up-and-coming writer, and she pens columns for an independent LA paper.
That’s how she knew who I was. She’d seen articles about the band in the papers, plus, obviously, she’s heard our music.
She is excited that I am who I am, but it doesn’t seem to affect the course of the relationship, which is good.
It’s been a few hours, and it is starting to get late. Charlie came here by cab, so I’ve suggested I drive her home.
Now, we’re walking back to my car, and we’re in the back ally, where it’s dimly lit with hardly anyone around.
We’re laughing about the size of the foot-long hot dogs, and one kid is trying to eat it in one go, when a bunch of teenagers run down the street toward us.
I tense up as they move around us, laughing and pushing between Charlie and me.
My hood falls from my head in the chaos as someone bumps into me, abruptly making me fall forward.
My sunglasses fall off and onto the ground.
My body tenses, and I turn just in time for my eyes to lock with one of the teenage girls.
She focuses on me, her eyes widening as her fits of giggles stop, and she stands stock still, staring at me.
My muscles clench, and I shake my head, knowing that look.
It’s an awed look of recognition.
Fuck! Why didn’t I bring Scott?
“Holy shit!” she yells, making her friends halt their fast pace, and they all turn to stare at me as I quickly try to pull my hood back over my head and around my face, but she yanks it back down and lets out an almighty scream.
“It’s one of the twins from Recoil!” Her ear-piercing tenor makes me squint as I glance at Charlie, who’s gnawing on her bottom lip, standing back from me as I’m now suddenly swarmed by teenage fangirls.
Fuck! This is not how this was supposed to go.
“Oh my God, are you Matt or Nate?” she shrieks, pulling at my top, which slides down, revealing my tattoos. “Oh my God, it’s Matt! Fuck it’s Matt!” She lunges at me, her friends scream, and I grimace, trying to calm her and the others down.
“Yeah. Look, I’m here with someone, and we’re just leaving, so I’ll take pictures and sign some autographs, but I can’t stay too long, okay?” I suggest, and they all scream again, which makes more people look down the street.
Fuck my life!
I wince as I glance at Charlie, who’s standing back, wrapping her arms around herself and taking this all in.
“Okay, pics first? Phones, everyone?” I ask, and they all yank out their cells, including Charlie, who giggles while taking snaps of me with my fans.
I smile and shake my head, rolling my eyes at Charlie making fun of me.
But I take a picture with every girl, plus a couple more that magically appear.
“Can you sign my iPhone?” one girl asks.
“Ah, sure, but I um… don’t have a Sharpie,” I reply.
Charlie throws her hand up, gesturing ‘one minute’ as she rifles around in her handbag, pulling out a sharpie. Smiling, I nod as the girls turn toward her while I wait to sign the random shit they pull out of their backpacks.
“So you’re here with Matt, right?” one girl asks Charlie.
Charlie nods. “I am.”
They all giggle and cheer off an immature “ooh.”
“Are you his girlfriend?” one girl asks, and I tense up, stopping mid-signature to look at her.
She looks at me with a smirk and lets out a bemused laugh. “I’m his advisor and friend,” she replies.
I wink at her as I continue to sign shit, including someone’s arm.
“Speaking of advising, I think you’re a little too open out here, Matt. Time to finish up,” she says in a very authoritarian tone, and I chuckle with a nod.
“Sorry, girls, the boss has spoken. You don’t want to get me in trouble, do you?”
They all groan but nod.
“No, but it was sure good to meet you. Thanks for hanging with us,” one of the girls says.
“My pleasure, ladies. Have a good night.” I lean in and hug them before I throw my hoodie back over my head and pick up my shades. I quickly grab Charlie, and we head back to my car.
She exhales and looks at me with a smirk as we slide in. “Well, that was relatively calm for your type of fans.”
Nodding, I let out a small groan. “I know, they were great. I was an idiot tonight, coming out without security. If they had gone ballistic and a huge crowd had swarmed, it could’ve been a whole different ball game. I’m a fucking dickhead. I’m not thinking clearly lately.”
She rests her hand on mine on the gearstick and sighs.
“Matt, look… I think you’re going through some obvious shit right now, and as much as I was trying to throw the kids off by saying I was your advisor, I am actually really good at listening.
So if you wanna get some stuff off your chest, then please, go for it.
You can talk to me with no worries of judgment or criticism. ”
So on the way to her place, I open up, telling her everything. All about Madeline, about T-Dog and the watch… everything. She takes it all in like a champ, and when I drop her off at her home, she doesn’t get out and walk away. Instead, she smiles and takes a breath.
“Matt, you’ve had a rough couple of months, and tonight has been a huge night for you. Plus, having fans accost you when you are trying to go it alone is not helping your situation. Come inside for coffee, and we can talk some more,” she offers.
She’s not running.
She’s not freaked out or scared off.
She is accepting of everything.
Who the hell is this girl?
The swarm of fangirls should have freaked any sane woman.
“Okay. Thanks for everything. You’ve been really supportive since I met you online, and honestly, you’re the only good thing I have right now.”
She reaches out, grabs my hand, and squeezes. “I’m not going anywhere other than inside for a coffee. So c’mon, let’s go.”
Charlotte opens the door, and I take a deep breath before following her inside.
Pulling my hood down, I finally feel like I can relax a little for the first time tonight.
***
I end up spending a few hours at Charlie’s and talking.
The entire time, though, I can’t stop myself from comparing her house to Alex’s.
Charlie’s house, while beautiful, lacks the funkiness and flair of Alex’s home.
Charlie’s is more modern, and Betty Homemaker.
Hell, I even consider how hanging out with Charlie doesn’t even come close to hanging out at Alex’s.
Nothing happens, staying the course of being friends.
I’m sure she would have liked the idea of a goodnight kiss, but I wasn’t keen on the idea of taking it to that level. Not yet. It’s far too soon, and I’m pretty sure she understands that.
On the drive home, I notice I feel lighter in a sense and am glad I took the leap. I’m also thankful things didn’t go completely pear-shaped with the fangirls.
As I walk through the door, I’m greeted with the painfully heavy silence of my empty home. It’s a stark reminder of how much I wish Alex were here.
Fuck, I miss her.
I miss every fucking thing about her.
And yes, I had a good evening with Charlie, but she’s not Alex.
I also realize I haven’t checked in with Nate, so I pick up my cell and dial his number as I wander aimlessly around the house that no longer feels like home. It is so barren without him here.
It rings a couple of times before he picks up.
“Bro, how you doing?” he asks, and I sigh in reply. “That good, eh?”
“Yeah, just trying to get by one day at a time.”
“What! Are you in some kind of anonymous meeting place?”
I chuckle and shrug. “Maybe I should be ‘M&M and Ben & Jerry’s Anonymous.’ ”
“Dude, lay off the saturated fats. We rockers have a rep to uphold, you know.”
I drop onto the sofa. “Yeah, yeah… so, I have news.”
“Oh, you’ve come to your senses and decided to talk to Alex?”
“No, she doesn’t want me. She made that abundantly clear.”
“Man, you two are as stubborn as each other. I swear—”
“My news!”
“Oh, right, please proceed, oh, wise and sensible brother of mine.”
Rolling my eyes, I take a deep breath. “I met up with Charlotte, and we had one hell of a wild night. Let me tell you—”
“Wait, Charlotte… the internet girl?” Nate interrupts.
“Yeah, the one Alex chose for me from the internet dating site.”
Nate groans, letting out his apparent frustration. “You don’t waste fucking time, do you?” he murmurs.
“No, that’s not what I meant.”
“How do you think Alex will feel when she finds out you waited… what? One fucking week to meet what’s her name?” I can feel the sarcasm dripping through the phone line.
I sit up taller and pause, thinking this through.
Alex will probably think I’m moving on, but that is not what this is.
“Shit,” I murmur.
Nate mumbles all sorts of what I assume are expletives incoherently under his breath before saying, “Good going, dick head. Way to screw everyone over royally,” he grumbles, and I shake my head.
“Wait! What does that mean?” I ask, but the end call tone sounds in my ear before I can say another word.
“Fuck!” I curse, throwing my cell onto the cushions beside me.
Now Nate’s furious at me.
I seem to be fucking up with every step I take.
Surely, now it can’t get any worse, right?