Chapter Thirty-One
ALEX
A heavy banging startles me awake from a restless sleep.
My eyes are heavy, and I’m disoriented as the loud sound echoes through my apartment.
It’s persistent, and as I wake fully, I realize it’s someone knocking on my door.
Blinking rapidly, trying to gain my bearings, I rub my puffy eyes that have spent so much of last night crying into my boxes as I packed them.
“What the hell?” I murmur as the relentless knocking continues.
I glance at the clock on my nightstand—it’s nearly three thirty in the morning, and I wonder if this is some burglar’s attempt at trying to get into my apartment.
Typical! The night before I leave, I get robbed and pillaged.
Getting out of bed, I grab a vase I’ve yet to pack from the table as I pass and walk to the door slowly as the banging continues.
I peek through the peephole, and to my surprise, it’s not a burglar, but a disheveled-looking Matt.
I lower the vase and stand here for a moment, trying to figure out what’s going on.
I haven’t heard from him, and I thought that maybe after Scott came around and I sent the voice message, he might have tried harder to fight for me, even though I told him not to, but he just gave up.
Now he’s here.
Hours before I get on a plane.
What the fuck?
He bangs harder, and I see lights flicking on down the hallway of the apartment block. He’s waking up the neighbors. Gritting my teeth, I flick on my outside light. He glances up, halting his banging as he looks back at my door, as I continue to stare at him through the peephole.
“What do you want, Matt?” I ask, and he visibly slumps.
“Alex, please open the door.”
“Why should I?”
His loud exhale is heard through the wood grain.
At the same time, a thump resonates when he bangs his forehead against the door.
“Alex, I know I fucked us. I was the one who made it so we couldn’t function.
My fucking ten rules are so goddamn stupid, I couldn’t see that the perfect ten I was aiming for was who I didn’t want—that prim and proper girl.
She’s not for me. I need someone who was right in front of me all along…
someone bold, daring, and not afraid to tell it how it is.
Someone not scared to be a little rock ‘n’ roll like me.
I need someone who is nothing like the stupid list I made.
I don’t need to keep searching for the perfect ten, Alex.
I fucking had her all along. I was just too fucking blind, I couldn’t see it.
” My stomach flips as I draw my bottom lip in with my teeth.
“Our friendship means so much to me, Alex, that I fucked up everything at the thought of not fucking us up. Does that make sense? I wanted to not lose you so badly that I fucking pushed you away! You’re the one thing my body craves constantly, Alex.
You’re the flame my heart desires…” He pauses, trying to get the words right.
“I messed up. I know I did, big time. But please, if our friendship was worth anything to you, then please, Alex… open the door,” he says, pulling on my heartstrings.
I huff, letting out a slight groan, and step back, turning the lock and opening the door.
He looks at me, seeing me in nothing but a pair of tiny shorts and a tank top.
He clears his throat and shifts from foot to foot awkwardly as his hooded eyes look me over like he’s devouring me.
The intense stare of lust in his eyes sends a shiver down my spine and straight between my legs.
We still affect each other, there’s no doubt about that.
His eyes trail down my arm to the vase I’m holding, and he furrows his brows. “Um… what’s the vase for?”
I look down at it and bring it up to my chest, covering my breasts and holding it to me tightly. “To smash you over the head with. Why are you here, Matt?”
Matt smiles like I’ve amused him, and he takes a step closer, and I inadvertently take one back.
He takes the opportunity and steps inside my apartment.
I close my door and flick on the light, the amber hue lighting up the room.
He pauses, and it’s like all the breath leaves his lungs as he takes in the sight before him—my apartment filled with boxes.
“So… it’s true then?”
“I guess you mean that I’m leaving? Yeah, in six hours to be exact.”
His face contorts like he’s in physical pain, and I chew on my bottom lip because it actually makes me uncomfortable seeing him react that way.
Matt breathes heavily and shakes his head slightly, like he’s trying to figure something out in his mind.
“So you’re moving. Okay, but where? Like, over a few states?
” he asks, and my stomach sinks, feeling like he obviously hasn’t been told.
“Um… not quite.”
He opens his eyes wide and leans forward, swallowing a lump in his throat. “Alex?”
“I’m moving to Paris.”
He stumbles on the spot, grabbing hold of the one chair left in the apartment, and steadies himself as he turns pale white. “As in… France?” His face screws up like he’s disgusted with the idea.
I shrug. “Art capital of the world and all.”
Matt turns away from me, his chest heaving, and for the first time, I feel like maybe there’s more here than a broken friendship.
“I did this,” he murmurs so softly I almost miss it.
He starts pacing my apartment, and I watch as he looks around.
He shakes his head and turns to face me, storming right up to me so suddenly that I’m shocked on the spot as he grabs my arms and holds me in position.
“Don’t go,” he whispers, looking into my eyes with such a fierce intensity, his eyes glistening with the threat of tears overflowing. It shocks me right to my very core.
My body shakes, and my breathing stutters as I look into his eyes. “Why?” I ask breathlessly.
He looks right at me and swallows hard, leaning in, so we’re barely apart.
Every inch of me is tingling, my skin prickling in goose bumps as my heart pounds in my chest. “Because you, Alex, are perfect… just as you are. You are everything I need, everything I want. You’re my ten out of ten.
Fuck it! No, you’re a fifteen out of ten, bordering on twenty.
And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from all the fuck ups my life has shown me the last few months, it’s that the only thing that hasn’t been a fuck up…
is you.” His eyes well with unshed tears.
“I’m in love with you. With your quirks. With your sass. With your piercings. Your tattoos and even your crazy hair. I love you…” He blinks a few times before continuing, “Don’t. Go!” Matt says it with such passion and vigor that my knees feel weak.
A sob is caught in my throat, and I place the vase on the table as I let out a long, deep breath, trying my hardest to keep my tears in check. But my eyes are welling up hard and fast.
I shake my head rapidly as I try to stop myself from crying.
Matt frowns at my reaction and slumps. “You’re going anyway?” he asks, dropping his hands from my arms.
I sniff, stepping closer, so we’re definitely in each other’s space.
Matt looks at me again as my hands run up his chest and up around his neck, pulling his body to mine. His brow rises in confusion like he’s not sure what to do.
“I’m in love with you, too…” I pause and continue, “Started falling since the fundraiser, I think,” I answer honestly, and he nods.
“Me, too, I just didn’t realize it soon enough. Alex, I’m sorry. I never wanted you to feel like you weren’t good enough for me, but when you said you wanted me to let you go, and it would make you happy, all I wanted was for you to be happy. So I stayed away, thinking it was best for you.”
I slump my shoulders. “I only said that because I thought you didn’t want me. So I was just saying I’d be happy without you… but I wasn’t, Matt. I’ve been so damn miserable. Poor Nate… I had so much trouble even talking to him.”
“I’m sorry I took it so literally. I’m an ass, a fucking idiot, a child. I should have come and talked to you. Now you’re going. Where does that leave us?”
I look to my bed, then back to Matt, raising my brow with a smirk. “It means we’d better make the most of right now,” I say and lean in, slamming my lips to his.
That familiar electrical surge pulses through our lips as he kisses me back eagerly.
I have no idea what tomorrow will bring or what this means for us, but right now, we love each other, and I want to make the most of those words.
He backs me up against the dining table, all the while kissing me frantically.
His hands make quick work of my top. Moving in and lifting it over my head.
Our lips break so he can remove it completely, leaving me topless.
He looks down at my exposed breasts and smiles before leaning down and taking a nipple into his mouth.
My head falls back as the warmth of his mouth encases my nipple, sucking on it hard while his hands run under my ass.
Matt lifts me onto the table, knocking a box to the floor, the contents spilling out, but I don’t care.
My hands run up into his hair, holding him to me as he continues his assault on my breast and his body steps in between my legs. My clit throbs, aching with need for him.
His hands move down my sides, caressing my skin softly as he goes, his calloused fingers tickling my sensitive skin as they dive into the hem of my shorts.
He pulls my shorts and panties down and off in one quick movement.
I’m completely naked as he looks down at me, still one hundred percent dressed.
His eyes burn with intense desire for me as I reach out for his shirt hem and lift it up and over his head.
Matt then quickly steps back between my legs like he can’t stand to be away from me and crashes his lips back to mine.
My hands run up his impeccably toned stomach. He has abs for days, and I love his body.