Chapter 4
The Next Morning . . .
Turning slightly, I look over my shoulder as I get further away from the door where Caziya is, and a pain radiates across my chest, causing an instant frown.
I have never spent the night with a woman where the only thing we did was converse.
Caziya’s situation warranted me to be on my best behavior while pleading with my dick to cooperate.
Caziya is a beautiful woman, and having to bear witness to the smooth thickness of her bare thighs in the scrap of material covering her body was sheer torture.
When she didn’t respond or even make a noise in response to my last declaration, I knew I had lost her to sleep.
Instead of carrying her to bed and leaving the room like a responsible person, I carried her to the bed and got in with her.
Spooning while fully dressed sans shoes is a new level of intimacy I didn’t see coming.
I had to force myself to be still and not grind against Caziya’s tantalizing ass perfectly resting against my dick.
At that point, all I could do was pray that sleep found me quickly because I had lost the battle of keeping my dick at bay.
Waking up this morning with my arm comfortably wrapped around Caziya’s body as light snores escaped her lips had been amazing.
The drawback is that I have to rush out of the hotel to head home and get ready for the day, then to my parents’ to pick up Zakiyah.
Nodding at the waving front desk attendant, I exit the hotel with my urgent steps eating up the pavement as I head toward the parking lot where my vehicle is parked.
“Damn. I should have left my number or something. I’m slipping,” I say, shaking my head when I get in my vehicle and pull out of the spot a few minutes later.
Talking and teasing with Caziya had been a good time, and it was the most platonic thing I’ve done with the opposite sex in years.
Getting her mind off the goofy who mishandled her heart was my goal, and knowing that I was able to provide her with enough comfort to fall asleep on me was the biggest flex I’ve had to date.
My phone rings through the speakers, and a smile forms upon seeing Ma’s number on my display. “Good morning, Diva.”
Naomi Tillman is the woman whose strength, dedication to her husband and children, and ability to make parenting look effortless are qualities I pray the woman I marry will possess.
Becoming a single father never became difficult, because Ma walks through the fire with me, ensuring that both Zakiyah and I are good.
Her presence and strength during this phase of my life keep me moving and help me stay the course.
“I was just checking to make sure that everything is okay. You’re normally here and gone, picking up my angel.”
Other than feeling like I should turn around and return to the bed I left, everything is peachy.
“Zakai!” Mom shouts, sounding like she’s speaking through a megaphone at the loudest of my vehicle’s volume.
“My bad, Ma. Everything is cool. I lost track of time. Give me an hour to run home to shit, shower, and shave, then I’ll be on my way. Can you feed and—”
“Zakai Elijah, I’ve been helping with my grandbaby from the beginning, and some might say I did a decent job raising your butt.
I don’t need instructions on what to do.
Zakiyah will be ready whenever you get here.
” Without waiting for a response, Ma disconnects the call, and a smirk upturns my lips.
Cranking my radio, I eat up the miles from the hotel to my house while alternating between enjoying the music of the popular and famous radio host who took over for the Fly Jock.
Pulling into my garage twenty minutes later, I quickly park and exit my vehicle before jogging to the attached door leading into the house.
My jogging doesn’t slow as I mechanically go through the process of disarming my alarm and heading to the second floor before shedding my clothes the minute I walk into my bedroom.
When a slight whiff of Caziya’s perfume invades my nostrils, I pause before tossing my dress shirt on the ottoman in front of my California king bed.
I’m unsure of what fragrance Caziya wore last night, but damn if I don’t want to buy several bottles to spray on my sheets.
“Damn. I was slipping and missed an opportunity of a lifetime with that woman. Alright, Big Homie, if you give me another chance, I promise I won’t waste it.
” Taking another whiff of my garment, I drop it on the ottoman and proceed to the bathroom after quickly discarding the garments covering my lower half.
With thoughts of Caziya on my mind, it took me no time to shower and complete my morning routine before leaving the house. Within thirty minutes, I am entering my parents’ house.
“Daddy!” Kiki screams while jumping up and down when I enter the living room where she and Dad are.
Hearing Kiki’s excitement upon seeing me has my chest expanding and my heart thumping like a bass drum.
This is the part of fatherhood that will never get old.
It’s always one of the things that I treasure the most because seeing the glee on my daughter’s face just from seeing my face will always be priceless.
“Hey, Kiki. Did you miss me?” Picking her up, I kiss all over her little face as she giggles heartily.
“No, Daddy.” Zakiyah shakes her head while trying to prevent me from kissing her anymore.
My heart beats harder, and my chest warms as I nuzzle my baby’s neck, feeling an instant dose of belonging that I’ve been experiencing since coming to the realization that Zakiyah is my daughter.
Fatherhood isn’t always easy, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
It’s the flex I never thought I would appreciate before learning of Kiki’s existence.
“Stawppp, Daddyyy.” Kiki whines, pushing my head and causing me to laugh before the sound of Ma’s voice forces me to lift my head.
“Stop tormenting my grandbaby, boy,” Ma chastises.
All I can do is release a low chuckle and place Zakiyah back on the ground as she clings to my leg, causing me to smirk. I love the daddy’s girl that she is and wouldn’t trade her love for anything in the world.
“Has she eaten, or do I need to stop before taking her to day care?” If the day care didn’t charge me whether or not Zakiyah came, I would just leave her here for the day.
“Bye, Zakai. See you whenever.” Ma waves me off, and Dad laughs before picking up the remote and changing the TV from whatever kid-friendly program was on to entertain Zakiyah.
Grabbing my baby’s hand, I shake my head and walk toward the front door while whispering to Zakiyah.
“See how she does you, Kiki. No goodbye, give me a kiss, or nothing. Don’t worry, Daddy—ouch.
” The unexpected slap to the back of my head catches me off guard and cuts off my attempt at riling Zakiyah up.
“Don’t be lying, boy. I promise you my size five will still fit comfortably on your hind part,” Ma tells me.
Deciding to quit while I’m ahead, I wordlessly continue to the front door and exit my parents’ house.
Placing baby girl in her car seat and quickly securing her in the seat belt, I hop in and pull out of the driveway so I can drop Zakiyah off at day care.
This next part is going to be challenging because neither of us enjoys the separation.
My issue is walking out the door of the day care while Zakiyah cries or whines to go with me.
Every single time, my heart splits in two, and I question if I’m doing the right thing by going to work.
It’s ridiculous because in order to give Zakiyah the life she deserves, I have to work. But it doesn’t make it any easier seeing my baby cry for me. My luck isn’t better today, because nearly twenty-five minutes later, I’m on my knees, wiping Kiki’s wet face as she cries hysterically.
“Come on, Kiki. You’re breaking my heart. Please stop crying. Daddy has to go to work, but I’ll be back. I promise.”
I can’t cry with Zakiyah, but seeing her little face frowning as tears slip from her eyes is never easy. This little girl has no idea how much she has me wrapped around her little finger. But every time she cries, my heart nearly rips from my chest.
“Wanna toe wif you, Daddy,” Kiki cries.
Desperate to stop her tears and the agony it’s bringing me, I attempt to negotiate with a child who has no clue how big her bargaining chip is.
“What if Daddy brings you back a toy? Can you please stay with Ms. Clemmie for Daddy?”
Ma would probably smack me again if she heard me trying to bribe Zakiyah to stay, but I’m desperate.
If my baby doesn’t stop crying, I’m liable to run out of this facility and tell my boss she’s something like a cuter, holier version of Chucky’s wife, Tiffany.
This shit is breaking the hardness within me, and I can’t take too many more of these tears coming from Zakiyah.
“Nooo. Wif you! Wif you, Daddy.” Kiki cries, stomping her little foot while effectively shredding my damn heart.
Come on, Kiki! You’re killing me here.
For countless seconds, I’m stuck in place while mentally scrolling through my calendar to see if I can somehow sneak Kiki into work with me.
This is one of the times I wish my employer offered an on-site day care center because then I would have access to Zakiyah several times during my workday.
An ache in my chest has me contemplating calling off and trying again tomorrow, just to pacify my daughter so she’ll stop crying.
Damn, this is hard.
“It’s okay, Mr. Tillman. I got her,” Ms. Clemmie says softly, swooping Zakiyah up into her arms before walk-sprinting away from me as my daughter’s screams echo off the walls.
Standing in an upright position, I wipe my hand down my face before sighing heavily and leaving the day care.
My heart is on my sleeve, and my chest is tight as I fight like hell not to look behind me or go rescue my baby from Ms. Clemmie.
My feet feel like weights as I fight my emotions now that I have effectively gotten Kiki off to day care for the day.
Dropping her off is always challenging, but pickups allow me to resume a semblance of normalcy until it’s time to do it all over again.
“Damn. That shit was brutal. I got to make it up to Kiki after work, though.”
Once I’m back in my vehicle and heading to work, my weary brain shifts from Zakiyah to Caziya. Shaking my head, I can’t help but become irritated at the reminder of not getting her phone number to at least check on her.
“Hell, I could have at least woke her up to tell her I was leaving. I bet she’s another woman who feels abandoned by me today. Fuck!”
My mind flashes back to how well Caziya fit in my arms before and after she fell asleep on me.
Having Caziya in my arms, even while carrying her the short distance to the bed, had been therapeutic.
I’m not sure if it was from Caziya’s comfort with me or how my heart stretched and thumped wildly when my eyes momentarily got lost on her sleeping form.
“If I ever get another opportunity to exchange numbers with pretty ass Caziya, I bet I won’t waste it.”