Chapter 16 Zakai
“Nah, arch your back, Ziya. You’ve been sending fuck me signals all night. Don’t act like this ain’t what you’ve been thinking about.” I place my hand on Caziya’s back while coaching her to deepen the posture of her back.
The call from Ma telling me that Kiki was staying for the night was the clearance I didn’t know would bring me this present pleasure.
The plan was to spend the date with Caziya, kiss her good night, and then go pick up Zakiyah.
I am grateful for active grandparents who enjoy the time they spend with their grandchildren.
It didn’t take me but a second to undress Caziya after getting to her apartment before I slid between her thick thighs.
“Mm. Ba-baby,” Caziya moans, and my dick hardens more while pushing in and out of her warm tunnel.
Our sex session started in the missionary position before the urgent need to see Caziya taking my dick from behind led me to switch positions.
It’s been awesome to see my dick enter and exit her pussy as Caziya’s walls clench around me.
Curious about how to increase Caziya’s pleasure, I remove my right hand and stick my index finger in her ass.
“Ooh. Kaaiii.” Caziya cries and grips her sheets as a mischievous grin forms.
I don’t know which part of this experience fills me with more delight.
Caziya’s pussy welcomes my dick without hesitation, and her succulent ass clenches my finger with every stroke.
I remove my left hand long enough to slap Caziya’s ass while I continue to thrust into her core.
My balls slap against the back side of her thighs, and I bite my lip when tingles rise from the bottom of my feet.
My hips slow as my mind swirls with various thoughts.
Although Caziya and I have been at this for a little while, I’m not ready to cum. I’m not ready to end Caziya’s or my pleasure. So I close my eyes and try to think of something, anything but the feel of Caziya’s reactive pussy meeting me stroke for stroke.
Adrian had a zit the size of Canada yesterday. I wonder if he would be offended if I bought him a jar of Noxzema to help with his adult acne.
Where the hell did those thoughts come from? Stay focused on the pussy you’re in, my nigga.
My conscience chastises me, and I return to the present moment while I nearly bite a hole in my lip when my release rushes to the forefront.
“Shiittt.” I growl as my release sprays Caziya’s walls, and my body shakes uncontrollably.
“Ooohhh,” Caziya whines, and my body freezes when her release meshes with mine.
I blink and hold my posture as my breaths become heavy, and a thankful sigh escapes my lips. Cumming before Caziya wasn’t the plan, but I’m grateful my release had become a beacon of light for hers.
Good looking out, Big Homie. That would have been extremely embarrassing otherwise.
Thanking the Big Homie for something I’m sure He turned his back on when your unmarried acts began is wild.
I fight the chuckle on my lips from the thought that echoes in my mind before I ease out of Caziya like she’s a porcelain doll on the verge of breaking.
“Damn, Ziya. That was—ah-fucking-mazing,” I say before lying down next to her as I throw my arm over my eyes.
“Tell me something I don’t know,” Caziya teases.
I remove my arm from my eyes, and my head tilts to get a better look at her when a series of thoughts fills my mind. Without reservation and the urge to further enhance this moment, I open my mouth and let my words fly.
“I want you to know that I don’t want anyone else to hold your heart, to taste your kisses, or to feel the warmth of your walls. The moments are mine, only mine. Your heart is mine, and my love will always be yours. You will always be mine.”
Being this open after sex is a first, but I don’t regret a single word that flows from my lips. The mist in Caziya’s eyes tells me that I’m not the only one wearing their heart on their sleeve in this moment.
“Aw, Zakai. That’s the most beautiful thing someone has said to me.”
Desperate for a deeper connection, I pull Caziya closer and connect our lips in a passionate kiss.
My arms tighten around Caziya when she moans and deepens our liplock.
I can stay here in this moment for the rest of my life and not have a single complaint.
This moment carries me through the rest of the night as it transitions to Caziya sleeping on my chest. Melancholy fills me the next morning when the reality of Caziya needing to go to work and me having to pick up Zakiyah becomes our reason for separation.
“I’ll call you when I go to lunch. Until then, think of me today.” Caziya smiles before I tap her hood as she pulls off.
“Damn. How am I already down this bad over this woman? I have never moved this quickly with anyone, including Danica.” I shake my head while heading toward my parents’ house.
I’m helplessly and unobjectively happy with what I have with Caziya.
I wonder if I should be this gone over her.
It hasn’t been that long since we became a couple, so is it too soon?
The last shred of hesitation fades, and I know without a doubt that I’m in love with Caziya.
From the adoration I saw in her eyes last night, I’m sure our feelings are mutual.
But right now, all I can think about is the what-if scenarios that fill my mind.
Beads of sweat coat my forehead as I analyze the effortless passion between Caziya and me in such a short time.
My phone rings, which allows me to shift my thoughts.
Asia’s name flashes on the dashboard, upturning my lips before I accept the call.
“What’s good, Sis?”
“I was just thinking about you and decided to call so we can touch base for a few minutes.”
“Aww. Who knew your little ass remembered you have a brother? You spend more time bonding with your niece than you do with me.”
“Let me find out you’re jealous of your daughter,” Asia tells me, and a chuckle falls from my mouth because the last thing I am is envious of my child.
“Not hardly. What’s new with you though?”
Asia tells me what’s been going on with her lately, and it becomes background noise as my thoughts return to Caziya and our relationship. Love can cause a person to forget everything and everyone. It takes me a couple of seconds to register Asia’s loud calls of my name.
“Why are you screaming at me, little girl?”
“Tuh. Imagine my twenty-seven-year-old ass being a girl. But I also wouldn’t have to scream if you didn’t go radio silent on me. What’s got you preoccupied?”
“I’m conflicted because things are moving quickly and seamlessly with Caziya. On one hand, I’m happy and all in with her. But on the other hand, I’m a little scared by how much passion and love that’s effortlessly flowing between us. I just feel like I’m moving so fast.”
“Here’s the thing, Zakai. You’re allowed to be happy. You’re allowed to fall in love. You’re allowed to exercise your right to date. Being a father doesn’t mean that you have to forfeit any of those things. Being responsible isn’t the only thing you’re capable of obtaining.”
A lone tear falls, and I don’t try to wipe or erase it as I listen to the depth within Asia’s words. The inflection in her tone let me know how serious she is, as I nod despite her inability to see me.
“I want you to smile, embrace your woman, and enjoy the ride. Life is too short to get caught up in baseless thoughts that don’t mean you any good. Again, you deserve happiness in all of its splendor.”
My heart leaps, and my chest expands with Asia’s encouragement as my head continues to bob without me uttering a word. Asia doesn’t realize how much her words penetrate my soul and fill me with the okay I need to move forward.
“Th-thank you, little Sis.”
“You don’t ever need to show gratitude with regard to this topic.
I will always be an advocate for you to find someone who can give you the kind of love everyone searches for.
If this woman makes you feel this vulnerable, then I already know she’s different.
She might be the kind of woman that forever is made for. ”
You have no idea, Sis. Caziya is the one I intend to marry one day.
“Alright. I just got to Ma and Dad’s house, so I’m gonna let you go. Thanks again for the pep talk. I heard you loud and clear.” I pull into the driveway and turn off my engine to finish this conversation before I exit my vehicle.
“It’s all love. We’ll chat soon.” With that, Asia disconnects the call, and I take a minute to get myself together.
My eyes drift close as I steady my breathing while I take a second to reel in my wayward thoughts. A smile slides into place when Caziya’s image surfaces, and I take a second to text her.
Me:
I hope your day is off to a great start. I have been thinking about you ever since we parted ways. It’s my hope that you miss me just as much as I miss you.
Once my fingers stop, another thought enters my mind, and all I can do is smile while I memorize the words.
M: My heart beats for you. I: I refuse to let you go.
N: No one else holds a candle to your place in my life.
E: Every part of me is yours. The breakdown of the word mine hits me like a ton of bricks, and I nod before I exit my vehicle to pick up Zakiyah.
The process of picking up Zakiyah is quick, thanks to Ma already having her ready to go.
Within ten minutes of my arrival, Zakiyah and I return to my vehicle.
A chime from my phone prompts me to retrieve it, and I see that Caziya has sent a reply.
Caziya:
The day would have been better if I hadn’t had to leave you. So yeah, I guess it’s starting okay. *frowning emoji*
Me:
We’re in the same painful boat, Ziya.
A grin forms and stays with me throughout my drive from my parents’ house to Zakiyah’s day care, during the drop-off process, and my journey to work.
The warmth that radiates from my chest is what I need to get my day moving and carries me to my lunch hour.
No matter how many tasks I complete, emails I reply to, or meetings I attend, my mind doesn’t sway from Caziya.
During lunch, I take a minute to consider what I can do to let Caziya know how much I appreciate her place in my life.
“Maybe I should tell her my new definition for mine. Or maybe I can show her the definition in action. After all, Caziya already told me that what I say isn’t nearly as important and merit-worthy as what I show.”
I bite my lip before I release it from the confines of my teeth, before I rub my beard while cycling through ideas.
A woman like Caziya deserves something sweet from her man as a representation of not only my dedication, but also my affection.
But I also have love for her. The problem is I have to decide on something that will speak my actions like a megaphone at a sporting event.