Chapter 23 Zakai
A Week Later . . .
Happy. The single emotion I feel after reconciling with my woman and things between us are finally back on track.
I find myself being a needy nigga, so I have bitched every time Caziya tells me she has to go home.
As far as I’m concerned, home is where her damn heart is, and since I’m the mothafucka holding her heart, it’s with me.
With me should mean that she’s in my bed every night so I can enjoy her thick ass leg numbing my thigh since she sleeps with it over me.
I get my best sleep when my arms are around her top half.
Hell, a couple of nights I woke up with my head in her bare and mouthwatering titties.
Before Caziya, I don’t recall being a breast man, but I’ll be damned if it’s not my favorite body part now.
The only downside of my jovial disposition is Kiki.
One of those cootie carriers at the day care spread some kind of bug, and my baby caught it.
I have been off work for the last two days trying to nurse her back to health.
Unfortunately, nothing I have done thus far has helped, so it might be time to take her to the emergency room.
“Can you tell me her symptoms?” the on-call nurse at my pediatrician’s office asks, which reminds me of my present situation.
I was trying to be proactive and called the nurse hotline just in case I didn’t need to make a trip to the hospital.
“She has a fever that doesn’t seem to stay broken, a cough, a runny nose, and I can’t seem to keep her awake for more than ten or fifteen minutes at a time.
I have been giving her Tylenol, but it seems to be dodging the pain she’s now complaining about and the fever.
I just took her temperature, and it was tipping close to one hundred four. ”
“Alright. Is she drinking fluids or keeping things down?”
My head tilts and forehead wrinkles as I try to remember the last time Zakiyah had or asked for anything to drink. When I come up blank, my stomach tightens and knots up because I realize I can’t pinpoint a time.
“I don’t remember the last time she’s drank anything. She also hasn’t been eating much.” I frown.
“Hm. Okay. I need you to take her to the emergency room at Ribax Children's Hospital. I will let them know that you’re on your way in. I will also alert Zakiyah’s pediatrician about what’s going on.”
My stomach drops to my feet as beads of sweat form on my upper lip, and the thought of what this could mean enters my mind. With trembling hands, I agree and end the call with the nurse.
“What did the nurse say?” Caziya asks.
A warm smile forms because, like me, Caziya has been with me the whole time Kiki has been sick. I’m not sure what she told her employer, but she hasn’t left my side. I’m grateful for how invested she is, not only in being available for me, but also for Zakiyah.
“I gotta take her to the emergency room,” I tell her finally.
“Okay. Go get ready, and I’ll get Zakiyah ready.” Caziya pats my shoulder and leaves the room without another word.
My heart stretches, and my chest expands with every retreating step she takes.
Love is action, and the doubt I had during her quiet separation evaporates into thin air in this moment.
It’s now clear that Caziya not only loves me but also my child.
For that, I know it’s my duty to ensure her happiness.
Right here and now, I vow to show Caziya that I not only want her in this present place in my life, but also in my future.
Get Zakiyah well, then work on getting Caziya to move in. Then work on her getting comfortable with the idea of being mine forever.
“Say less,” I mumble before I quickly move through the process of getting dressed so I can take Kiki in to get checked out.
In the next twenty minutes, Caziya, Kiki, and I are backing out of my driveway and on our way to Ribax Children’s Hospital. My heart beats wildly, a bundle of nerves rests in my stomach, and the urge to pray hits me hard.
“Okay, cutie patootie, let’s pray before we get to our destination,” Caziya says as if she can read my thoughts.
My eyes momentarily leave the road to see that Caziya faces the back, and Kiki’s weary eyes are on her.
“Otay, Pw-pwitty. I pway.” Kiki’s voice is low, choppy, and hoarse as her words pull on my heartstrings.
Caziya’s voice rings out strong and with authority as my eyes return to the road.
“Dear God, creator of the Heavens and Earth. I come to you boldly to ask that you would be with us as we go see about my sweet little Zakiyah. I ask that you heal every infirmity in her body. Right now, I call on Jehovah Rapha. Heal as only you can, and we will give your name praise, glory, and honor. Be with the doctors that will oversee her care and let your anointing reign. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.”
“Amen,” I say.
My emotions swirl as I fight to contain the tears from the inflection of Caziya’s voice while praying for Kiki. I couldn’t have said a better prayer than the one she did, and my heart gallops like a herd of wild horses. Caziya places her hand on my thigh, and I momentarily shift my gaze to her.
“Everything is going to be alright. No matter what the outcome is.”
Damn, Ziya. Marry me!
All I can do is nod so I don’t spill the four words that repeat like a mantra in my mind right now.
At an undetermined time, I pull into the parking garage for the hospital, find a spot, and the three of us enter the front doors.
Five minutes later, I have gotten Kiki checked in and gone through the preliminaries required by the hospital.
Kiki is in my arms, and the heat from her body heightens my senses and causes my muscles to tense.
“Zakiyah Tillman,” a nurse calls before I can sit down with Kiki.
Thank you, Big Homie.
My steps are heavy and quick as I follow behind the nurse who leads the three of us to a room. The sound of kids crying, machines beeping, and people moving hits my ears as my eyes try to remain on my target.
“Here we are. If you can lie Zakiyah on the table for me, please,” the nurse says once we enter room number four.
I am unable to speak, so I nod and gently lay Kiki down as she whines without opening her eyes. Her face twists, and a frown slides into place, yet she doesn’t move from the spot I place her in.
“We received a call from your pediatrician’s office, but can you elaborate on what’s been going on? How long has Zakiyah been sick?” the nurse asks.
I take a moment to review Kiki’s symptoms and how long they’ve been ongoing.
With every word, my chest aches as I realize the severity of Kiki’s symptoms. In two years, Kiki has never been this sick.
What makes it worse is that there’s nothing in my power to make her feel better.
Watching her sick and miserable has me feeling like a failure as her father.
“Okay. Thank you for the information. I’m going to get her vitals, and then the doctor will be in.”
I nod, and my eyes shift to Caziya, who has been otherwise quiet, as she links our hands together. She squeezes my hand gently, and I give her an uneasy smile before my eyes return to the bed Kiki is in as the nurse goes about completing her tasks.
“Oh,” the nurse says, and my brows hike immediately.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Her temperature is 104.3. Let me grab the doctor.”
“Jesus,” Caziya utters.
Words fail me in this moment as intense pain surges across my chest and helplessness settles within my body. I stand and walk to the bed and run my hand over Kiki’s forehead. I frown when her forehead feels like it can boil water or cook an egg.
“My baby,” I whisper.
“She’s going to be okay. You got her here, and these experts have every resource at their disposal to help her get better,” Caziya tells me when she walks up beside me and runs her hand up and down my back in a soothing manner. The longer Caziya rubs my back, the more strength I feel in my body.
Strength is exactly what I need because within an hour, Zakiyah is being admitted into the hospital and taken to a room.
The doctor told me that Zakiyah has the flu, and with her high fever, dehydration, and limited food intake, they needed to admit her to better manage her condition.
Tears fall heavy from my eyes after I watch the nurses run an IV and hook my baby up to a monitor.
“Alright. What do you need?” Caziya asks once Kiki is settled and sleeping peacefully, oblivious to everything and everyone around her.
My eyes are on Kiki’s small body in the bed that feels bigger, colder, and more sterile than the one she sleeps in at home.
“Just you, Ziya. Th-thank you for being here.” My words are heavy with emotion as I fight to control myself so I don’t fall apart.
“First of all, you don’t have to thank me for doing something that you would have to hire an armed bodyguard to keep from doing. Secondly, you have me. Lean on me, because I got both of you.”
I found out that Caziya is a woman of her word as she indeed had Kiki and me. Kiki’s hospital stay lasted two days, and Caziya, like me, didn’t leave her bedside. It feels great to finally be on the way after the worst forty-eight hours of my life.
“Can you stop by my apartment so I can grab some clothes? I’m going to stay with you two until I’m sure you can be without me,” Caziya says.
Hm. You better pack everything then, Ziya.
“I’m not sure when that will happen. While we probably could be without you now, I’m unsure if either of us will survive without you. Make sure you get more than a couple of days’ worth of clothes because Kiki and I are needy,” I smirk.
Caziya giggles, and the sound causes my heart to skip several beats before it returns to its normal rhythm.
“Stay, Pwitty.” Kiki cosigns.
Her voice still sounds raspy, but thankfully, she’s on the mend and much better than she was a few days ago. The light has come back into her eyes, her face has color to it, and she’s eating and drinking like normal.
Thank you, Big Homie. You keep blessing me over and over again.
Another thing that Caziya did was pray over Kiki’s body every day that she spent in the hospital.
Then she would pray over me before she would lay my head in her lap and run her fingers through my hair until I fell asleep.
I've fallen even more in love with Caziya over the last couple of days, so I must figure out how to make her a permanent part of Kiki’s and my life.
We might not need her, but I can confidently speak for Kiki when I say that we damn sure want her.
“I’m not going anywhere, Kiki. I’m going to take care of you and your daddy,” Caziya answers Kiki’s request.
“Otay, Pwitty.” Kiki’s cheerful voice matches the cadence of my heart which lets me know that my baby and I are on the same page.
I nod because that’s one statement that I doubt Caziya realizes how true its meaning is.
If I have it my way, she’ll never return to her apartment.
Hell, I’ll even have a moving company come pack her up so she has no reason to go back.
Now, I just have to figure out how to implement my plan for the future.