Chapter 52 Celia
CELIA
My heart pounded wildly under me as Ronan inched further into the room, that sharp, twisted look filled with hatred still burning in his eyes. I pushed myself up until I was standing by the foot of the bed and Ronan began to sever the distance between us.
I was practically shaking, every muscle in my body trembling as he closed in, and I felt the heat of his breath coming down on me.
He hadn’t left yet, and he wasn’t skinning Mateo alive.
That was progress, but now they were both here, too close to me; I had to admit I was at a loss.
I didn’t know what to do with myself or either of them.
I suddenly had too many limbs, or maybe not enough, and I didn’t know what to do with either of them.
As if he could hear my anxious thoughts, Mateo cupped my breast in one hand while standing behind me and used his other hand to twist my chin towards Ronan. “Are you gonna deny our girl what she wants?” He asked him, the words our girl turning my stomach over with a sickening swarm of butterflies.
“Is this… what you want?” He turned his chin sideways, waiting for my answer, and I nodded.
“Say it then,” Ronan said through clenched teeth, the anger still apparent and obvious.
“I want you,” I said, looking up at him, then back at Mateo, “Both of you.”
His upper lip peeled back, and he looked like he was going to take a step back, so I reached for his shirt, fisting it in my hand, “Stay.”
“You’re asking me to watch you with someone else,” he gritted, clenching his fists.
“Not watch,” I breathed out, lifting his shirt, and pulling it over his head.
“She wants you to fuck her, while I make her scream,” Mateo clarified, sliding his hands between my legs.
I was still sensitive, but every pore on my skin was burning, every part of me painfully throbbing to be touched by the two men surrounding me like predators.
“Has Ronan been here, Sunshine?” He asked, his pinky teasing around the entrance of my puckered hole, just a light feather touch as I nodded, my eyes still glued to Ronan’s and his lip curled up on one side.
“You’ll find there’s nowhere I haven’t been, brother. Every inch of her has been claimed by me,” He spoke assertively like the suggestion was offensive to him in some way and I tried to block out their bickering.
Mateo responded by plunging his fingers deeper into me and letting his pinky press firmly against that tight ring until it pushed its way through.
I dropped my head against Ronan’s chest while Mateo continued torturing me, quiet pants leaving my mouth. His pecs vibrated with the growl that came up his throat, and he lifted my chin.
“Look at me,” his voice rang out with authority, and I obeyed without hesitation. He conquered my mouth with his, moving his hand down to my throat, giving it just the right amount of pressure to force another moan out of me.
Mateo teased my nipple with soft tugs, and Ronan reached with his free hand to cup my other breast.
His roughness countered Mateo’s gentle touch, winding that coil deep in my core tighter and tighter, their touch alone enough to make me want to unravel.
We broke our kiss, and he released my throat.
The automatic need to swallow air into my lungs forced a loud rasp out of me with the gulp of oxygen I dragged in.
“Don’t hurt her, or I’ll make you watch instead,” Mateo threatened from behind me, his stare icy cold as he fixed it on Ronan.
“What you may not know about my girl, is that she likes the pain,” Ronan seethed over me, and I cut in before they got carried away and ruined the moment.
“Cut it out! Play nice or don’t play at all. I’ll kick both of you out and finish this myself,” I said sternly, pushing Ronan away as he pressed me closer to Mateo.
“I can’t do this. It kills me to see someone else touching you like this,” his voice broke as he pushed away from the both of us. “It hurts,” he admitted.
“I get it,” I lamented, pressing my lips into a flat line as I admitted defeat. “I wouldn’t be able to watch another woman touch you either. That would be torture,” I exhaled as I looked down, my heart again thundering deep inside my chest.
“But you still want him?” He asked, unable to mask the hurt in his voice, and I nodded my response.
“I told you, my feelings for him, they’re separate from what I feel for you.
They aren’t one in the same. Please don’t ask me to give him up, because I can’t,” tears welled in my eyes at the thought of Ronan forcing me to choose between them.
There wasn’t a world where I could live without any of them now, even Santos, who was a chaotic mess, and refused to follow through with his feelings.
Even if he thought killing me was the answer to fixing the pain in his heart.
I needed all of them.
“It’s all of you, or none of you. So, figure it out,” I staked my claim, throwing the words out into the universe like a curse that would bind us all to fulfill it, and pushed him aside as I made my way out of Mateo’s room.
“All of us?” I heard Ronan ask.
“You really are a fucking fool,” Mateo said, barely audible enough for me to hear as he seemed to follow behind me into the guest room.
The loud slamming of a door made me flinch before I entered the room, grabbing a solid black skater dress hanging in the closet.
I slipped it over my head before I opened my newly claimed underwear drawer and rummaged through it, finding nothing but fancy lingerie that either Mateo or Ronan provided me with.
I rolled my eyes, wishing for something more comfortable but slipping on a pair of lacy black underwear.
I heard the gentlest rapping at my door and turned to see Mateo standing at the open threshold, leaning with his elbow on the frame and running a hand through his overgrown inky black hair. He was donning a freshly raised red spot under his right eye, and I sighed as I approached him.
“He’s such a fucking dick,” I said, carefully brushing his hair out of the way and examining the future black eye.
“Yeah, but we love him,” he said with a grin, pushing two dimples deep into his cheek. “You okay?” He asked, brushing his fingers down my arms, and I nodded.
“I’ll be fine. This is all the product of my own doing. Reap what you sow right?” I looked up at him and shrugged, but he pulled me in by the waist for an embrace.
“You think he’s like this because of you?” He asked me, and I shrugged again.
“Hard not to, he wasn’t always like this you know? Not how I remember him.” I let him squeeze me closer and rested my cheek against his bare chest.
“Do you think that the woman you are today, would love the sweet unbroken boy he used to be? I remember that boy too, you know? Before the Navy, the world, and you changed him. He would have never made it through any of this.” He paused, “Or do you think he needs to be the hard man that you forced out of him? The one that makes you the only person who can stand up to him. Do you think the Ronan you knew could handle the truth of who you really are?” He raised an eyebrow at me, and even though his expression was still soft, I knew Mateo well enough to know his playful side was put away right now.
“No,” I admitted the truth I already knew deep inside. “We were doomed from the beginning. I mourned our end from the moment I met him. We were too different, miles apart and constantly drifting away from each other.”
Mateo stroked my hair as he tried to comfort my breaking heart. “Give him time Sunshine, he’s bound to come around,” he told me, placing a finger under my chin to lift it and meet my gaze.
“And if he doesn’t?” I asked.
“Did you mean what you said? That it was all or nothing?” He asked, raking his fingers through my hair, and tucking a strand behind my ear.
“It feels that way. I need both of you,” I told him, and he nodded.
“Then it looks like I have no choice but to force him to come around,” he said with a soft smile that forced me to reciprocate the gesture.
“But your heart doesn’t hurt for just the both of us, does it Celia?
” Mateo pressed his lips to mine, the way he used my real name, doing something to me I couldn’t explain.
“How do you see through me so easily?” I asked him, blinking the tears back before they could fall.
“Because I’ve noticed the way you look at him. Because I feel the way your heart beats faster when we mention his name,” he said, placing his hand over the blue jay fluttering against my chest. “Because I don’t get to see the real you unless the three of us are around.”
I kissed him again, grateful to have someone who understood what I needed, and worried I might not deserve him.
“I want the real you. All of the time, even if I have to share her.”
“You must be make-believe. I think I conjured you up straight out of my dreams,” I said to him, cupping his face in my hand.
“Maybe out of a nightmare, I’m not a prince charming. You’ll see that soon enough too,” he stroked my cheek with the pad of his thumb.
“Prince charming is a misogynistic piece of shit who probably can’t even shoot straight. Be good to me, to us,” I paused to emphasize. “And I don’t care who else gets bloody in the process,” I assured him.
“Good,” he growled into my ear before his hand came down firmly on my ass, the surprise forcing a yelp out of me. “Because I’ll carve up any other man who so much as gets in your way, and I’ll deliver his balls, in tribute.”
“A romantic,” I smiled at him, and his hand dropped to find mine, bringing them both up to his lips as he pressed a kiss to each one.
“Just a humble servant, my queen,” he winked, and my thighs automatically rubbed together in response. It’d been a long day, full of too many almosts, and all that left me with was a lot of pent-up sexual frustration.
“Can I feed you?” He asked me, and I shook my head. The nausea from the heroin was overbearing, and the thought of food made me want to hurl.
“I need to see him,” I said, and he let out a heavy sigh but didn’t fight me on it. He pulled me by the hand, and I grabbed a pair of slip-on converse I’d left by the door as we made our way to the elevators.
“Where is he?” I asked, and Mateo responded by pressing the number five on the elevator touchpad before another screen popped up asking for his thumbprint. “I thought you said bad things happened on that floor?”
“Well, lucky for us our boy cleared the level out before we locked him in there.” He answered, and I twisted my face at him, unsatisfied with that answer.
“It was just a precaution, to keep him safe from himself while we were out getting you. He was a mess. Do you want to tell me what happened?” He asked, but I shook my head and let out a heavy exhale I didn’t realize I’d been holding in.
The doors opened, and we entered the dimly lit floor.
Concrete covered every square inch of the place from floor to ceiling, and I wanted to say it was reminiscent of the Kennels I called home for the last two months, but no.
There was no essence of comfort or pity etched into this place, and I could smell the blood and bleach that had recently gone down the drains in each cell.
This place had a closer feel to my papá’s dungeon than anything else.
My dungeons, soon enough.
Mateo whistled, getting the attention of a burly guy who sat on a fold-out chair reading a book that I couldn’t quite make out the title, but the cover had a half-naked dude on it.
Interesting choice. Zero judgment.
“Hughes,” he called over the guy, and once he stood, his height towered over us. “Take a break,” Mateo instructed him, and the guy tossed him a set of keys with a nod before exiting the floor.
“It’s cold in here,” I rubbed my arms, using the friction for heat as we walked down the narrow hallway, passing each empty cell one by one.
“I’ll let Zerkos know you think the prisoners have it rough,” he winked at me, and I rolled my eyes at him in annoyance.
“Don’t get smart with me, crazy boy,” I slapped his chest with the back of my hand and I walked in front of him, reaching the final cell.
Santos sat on a flimsy cot that didn’t even seem big enough to hold his size, his elbows on his knees with his head dropped down and his hand clutching the back of his neck.
I stopped in my tracks and nearly stumbled over myself as Mateo walked into me.
“We can go back if you want,” he said, noticing the effect seeing Santos had on me. I shook my head at him.
“No, he’s been avoiding me long enough,” I told him, and he nodded in understanding.
“I’ll be right outside then, I’ll give you some time alone with him.”
“You won’t stay?” I asked, a bit surprised.
“Sunshine, I’m still livid over the danger he put you in. Just seeing his stupid face makes me want to knock all of his teeth out,” he smiled at me, and I snorted out a laugh.
“Well don’t do that, he’d look awfully ridiculous without them,” I told him before pinning my body closer to him. He whistled again, getting Santos’ attention. “When will you let him out?” I asked him.
“That’s not up to me,” he confessed, which meant it was up to Ronan.
“Hey asshole, you’ve got a visitor,” he told him, Santos’ head barely lifting and turning enough to look at the both of us. He said nothing, just stared at us.
Mateo pulled me in, his hands pressed to the small of my back as he parted my lips with his thumb before plunging his tongue deep into my mouth for a showy kiss.
He smirked knowingly, turning his head over to look at his friend, who was clutching the cot's frame, his knuckles white and his eyebrows formed a deep V.
Mateo inserted the key into the cell door and opened it just enough to push me inside before slamming it shut and walking away leisurely.
“If she comes out of here in anything less than perfect condition, and without a smile on her face, I will let Zerkos kill you. Brother.” He chimed out without turning his head back to look at us.