Chapter 53 Santos
SANTOS
The buzzer brayed annoyingly from Mateo opening the door to leave the fifth floor, spiking my nerves.
She stood there, leaning on the bars, biting her lip as she looked at me nervously.
I hated that this was where we stood now, too far gone to turn back and too afraid to move forward.
To top it off, I was the spineless piece of shit who put her in danger.
“Why are you here Morena?” I asked, looking back down, my guilt and shame still too heavy to bear.
“I wanted to see you. Make sure you’re okay,” she said softly, starting to toe her way closer to me.
I kept my head down, knowing the minute she saw my face, the only thing she would feel for me was pity. I didn’t want her sympathy.
I didn’t deserve it.
The truth was, I relished the feeling pounding through my face and my ribs.
Even as my eye swelled shut from the force of Ronan's fist against it, and I felt the blood dripping down the cut on my brow bone, I enjoyed this pain. I needed it, because I needed to be penalized. I didn’t know when I’d become this feeble, piece of shit excuse for a man, but I needed to atone.
I owed it to all of them. Not just her.
“Can you look at me?” She asked, her voice sounding a bit more commanding.
I lifted my chin slightly, curls falling over my eyes but not hiding enough of the damage.
She gasped loudly, bringing her hands to cover her mouth in horror, “Ronan did this to you?”
“No Morena, I did this to me,” I admitted the real truth, yeah, maybe Zerkos threw the punches, but I did this to myself. “You’re with Kane now then?” I asked her, wondering how devastated Zerkos might be feeling.
She tilted her head sideways and furrowed her eyebrows at me like she didn’t understand the question.
“He’s with me. What’s your deal? You wanna act like you don’t care.
But I know you do. You want to pretend like we can ignore what happened.
But we can’t,” she said, kneeling on the ground in front of me, “You fucked me with a gun, Santito.” She said the words, and a chill ran down my spine.
“And I liked it,” she whispered, bringing her hands to my thighs, and pulling herself closer to me.
“What are you doing Celia?” I pulled back, eyeing her suspiciously.
“You were right. I don’t want to be friends anymore,” she practically crawled on top of me, and I fell back onto the cot on my elbows, my forearms holding me up as my upper body hovered over the shitty bed.
“I was drunk, I didn’t mean-”
“Don’t fucking lie to me,” she cut me off, her voice filled with a dark, assertive tone I’d never heard from her before that sent goosebumps down my arms.
“You sold me out. You thought sending me away would be easier than dealing with your feelings for me.” She pushed my chest down until I laid back completely. I was trapped under her carnivorous hold as if I were Frodo and she was the spider Shelob, ready to spin me into her next victim.
“What are you doing?” I breathed out, suddenly overwhelmed by her proximity as she preyed on me.
“Finishing what you started.” She slid her hand over my pants to my already hard cock and squeezed hard enough to make it hurt.
“Ahh,” I gasped, then reached out to wrap my hand around her throat. She smirked at me like it wasn’t a threat, so I squeezed. She moaned and rubbed her hand against my erection again; I dropped my head back in defeat, laboring for my breath as she reached inside my pants.
“Fuck,” I begged, but I wasn’t sure what I was asking. It was everything I had ever wanted or thought about for the last fifteen years. “You’re Ronan’s. Stop. I can’t,” I barely said, and she squeezed again, forcing me to cry out one more time.
“I will not live the rest of my life letting other men dictate who I’m meant to be.
What I can do. Or who I can fuck,” she was angry, maybe at me, maybe at everything, and rightfully so.
But denying the abundance of lust glistening over her eyes was impossible.
It was suffocating now that it was directed at me.
It was like waiting for the sunset your entire life, only to find out you were afraid of the dark.
No.
It was like dying of thirst and being offered gasoline.
I wanted that drink more than I’d wanted anything else in my life. But the fear that it would kill me, had me paralyzed, too afraid to reach for the cup sitting right in front of me.
It could have been water, it could have been petrol, but I was too chickenshit to find out for myself. I pushed her off me; harder than I intended to, and she wound up on the floor looking up at me, with that look of hurt on her face.
“Don’t you want me?” She asked, the confidence wavering out of her.
“You’re all I ever wanted. You’re the only thing I’ve ever wanted,” I finally voiced the words I’d been too afraid to ever own all these years.
“Then stop thinking. I’m right here. I won’t lay myself out for you again,” It was like hitting a brick wall full force, the way her words slammed against me, becoming what I needed to push every fear, every doubt out of my head.
She was right.
She was here, offering herself up to me like a lamb to the slaughter, and I was worried about the “what ifs”.
It was already too late; we had already pushed those boundaries, and our past had gone up in flames.
There was nothing but cinders left, and we would never be able to return to what we once were.
Our friendship was gone. Now all that was left was to finish killing it completely so we could become something new; to move forward from this. We were never meant to be friends, but our past and our circumstances painted us into that corner.
I snarled, moving towards her too fast, and she flinched back.
Good.
She needed to understand that when it came to her, I couldn’t hold myself back, and I never would.
She should be afraid because my feelings for her were dangerous, erratic, and nonsensical.
I’d go to hell and back for this woman, and with the same dagger, I’d send us both there to stop the world from ever keeping us apart again.
My love wasn’t safe.
My love was brutal, it was a poison, and if she wanted it so badly, I’d force her to drink it on her knees.
I pulled the tanto point knife out of my pocket and flipped it over, her eyes widening as she crawled back towards the wall. Once her back hit the concrete behind her, she winced and used her hands to pull herself to stand.
“If we do this, there’s no going back,” I warned her, and she nodded, eyeing the blade in my hand but pushing the fear out of her expression.
“I don’t want to go back. There’s nothing for me left in the past,” she reassured me, and I pushed her against the wall with a hard shove.
“You might come to regret that,” I said before sending the edge of the knife down the front of her dress, not bothering to pull it away from her so that every inch I went down further scratched into her skin, leaving a red mark.
She sighed like the world had come off of her shoulders.
“You like the danger.” I acknowledged a new side of this girl I would've never pictured before, and she nodded.
“I’ve been in danger my entire life. It’s the only thing that lets me know I’m still alive, and not in hell burning for my sins,” she breathed out, and I ripped the rest of the dress until it was left hanging from her arms. I pushed the blade under her jaw, pressing it tightly against her neck.
“Then I’ll keep reminding you we’re still here, very much paying for all of our mistakes. You won’t burn in hell Morena, because when I’m done with you, I’ll be the one who owns your soul,” I told her, and she pressed her throat against the knife, forcing a small cut on the side of her neck.
She moaned, and I lifted the blade, leaning down to lick the droplets of blood forming.
She looked up at me, and for a split second, like she could still feel the hesitation powering over me, she kissed me.
It was a feverous kiss, hot, messy, teeth clanking as we fought for control over one another until finally she gave in and let me lead.
I knew who she was; I knew this was the most violent woman the world had ever shaped.
But she didn’t come to me to exert her power over me.
She came here to bend to my will.
“Please,” she begged me as I broke free from our kiss, reminding me to turn my thoughts off and to focus on the beautifully wrapped gift that ended up locked in this cell with me.
I smacked the flat steel side of the blade against her still-covered pussy, and she quivered against me with a hiss, lifting away from the wall. I brought the knife's edge to the top of her panties, but she pushed me away.
“Fuck off, these are brand new,” she said, pulling them down her hips and stepping out of them, and I smirked, pulling them up and crumbling them in my hands.
“Open then,” I commanded, parting her lips for me with my thumb. Pulling her jaw open from the inside, I stuffed her underwear into her mouth, “Can you follow instructions?” I asked, and she nodded silently, eyes full of wild, unapologetic desire.
And it was aimed at me.
“Spread your legs,” I directed, and she took heed while I kneeled in front of her. I was exactly where I was always meant to be. That very place I spent every night I lay awake thinking about. I was on my knees in front of the most beautiful creature to ever walk this Earth.
It was a privilege to bow before her.
To be the one to get to bask in the sounds of her pleasure as I licked my way up her thigh and pressed my lips to her center. She gasped as I lifted her foot and placed it over my shoulder, raking my tongue over every inch of her beautiful cunt while I savored her.