Chapter 15 - Laura
"Mom?"
I jerked awake as Michael shook my shoulder. I blinked around the darkness until my eyes landed on him. He stood next to my bed, looking paler than normal. His pajamas clung to him, and I could tell he'd been sweating.
"Michael? What's wrong?" I said, rubbing my eyes and trying to sit up.
"I don't feel good," he said, looking out of breath.
I frowned, feeling my stomach dip. I reached a hand up, finding his forehead hot.
"You have a fever again."
He nodded. "And my body hurts."
I threw the covers back, swinging my legs over the edge of my bed. "Let's get you some medication to lower your fever," I said, placing my hand on his head as I turned towards my door.
I walked out and into the kitchen, grabbing the medication. I walked back with a glass of water having him take the pills. I then let him crawl into the bed. I crawled in next to him and felt him turn around, curling himself against me. "I'm sorry, sweetie," I said softly, whispering it to him as I ran my hands through his hair.
"It's not your fault," he said.
No. But it was my fault; it was just us. It was my fault he had a parent who had no idea what they were doing. It was my fault he didn't have a father who could maybe understand, someone who knew what was going on, someone who could relate, someone who knew what he was going through.
I kissed the top of his head, hoping his fever would break so he could finally get some sleep. About thirty minutes later, I felt him relax and fall back asleep.
His breath was labored, so I knew his fever still hadn't come down. I crawled out of bed and checked the time. It was a little past three in the morning.
I walked back into the kitchen, grabbed a cold rag, and placed it over his forehead. I looked at my phone, tempted to call anyone who would relate.
But it was late, and everyone would be asleep.
I chewed on my cheek. What if this was more serious? I grabbed my phone, chewing on my cheek as I flipped through my contacts.
My finger hovered over Ashley's name. I didn't want to call since it was so early, but I had no one else. I certainly couldn't call Miles after the blowout we had.
I clicked her name and stepped out into the hallway. I tightened my robe as the phone rang a few times. I closed my eyes, knowing she was probably asleep. She likely wasn't going to answer.
But suddenly, she answered. "Hello? Laura, what's wrong?" Her voice sounded groggy yet panicked, and I knew I had woken her.
I pinched my forehead and sighed. "I'm a shitty mom."
"What? Hold on, let me get out of bed." I could hear her moving and a door open and shut. "What's going on?"
"Michael is running a temperature again and says his body hurts."
"Oh, well, he's going to be okay. This is normal."
"For a shifter," I said softly, feeling tears build up. "Not for a human." I felt my voice crack, and tears broke free.
"Don't cry," she said softly. "You're not a terrible mom, Laura. You just don't know how this works. You're out of your depth."
"No shit," I said, moving down the living room into the kitchen. "I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what's right and what's wrong. I don't know any of this."
"If it makes you feel better, neither do we. It's shitty, no matter how you look at it. No one wants their kids to suffer."
I looked at a few pictures of Michael that I had hanging up. "I just want what's best for him. That's all I ever wanted."
"Because you're a good mother."
I wiped my eyes. "I'm sorry to wake you. I shouldn't have called at this time."
I could hear her laughing. "You're fine. I about shit myself, but I'll forgive you."
I sat down on the island and sighed. "When does this end…when does he…shift?"
"He's been getting these normally now, so honestly, any time soon."
I frowned. He hadn't had an episode in a week or so. I thought maybe it was over, but I knew I was only fooling myself.
"Have you told him yet?" she asked, and I could hear her moving around.
I shook my head. "I don't know how to…I know you guys said I needed to, but…I just... I don't know how to."
"You'll want to sooner rather than later… He's going to shift, and he needs someone to guide him."
I knew that. I remained silent for a long moment, wondering if I fucked everything up. Miles would hate me and likely wouldn't forgive me for never telling him until now.
"Speaking of guiding him…Owen told me about your argument with Miles."
I should have known that was coming. Miles pretty much screamed that he was the father, and it wasn't hard to put two and two together.
"He hates me," I said, rubbing at my head. "And he has every right to. I lied."
"So, he is Michael's father?"
I nodded. "Yeah….he is."
"You know, he looked like Michael, but Wendy and I would never say anything. Our relationships all have their problems."
"Oh please, you and Wendy have relationships to die for."
She laughed. "Oh, you have no idea. All relationships are rocky sometimes. Miles will forgive you. It's just going to take time."
"You think?"
"Yeah, it's Miles."
I thought of the Miles I knew. He always was more calculated. He always thought everything out. And then I thought back to that day.
"I'm going home," he said, his hands in his pocket.
I just stood there, hearing thunder rumbling above us. The pregnancy test was in my pocket, and all I had to do was show him.
"Home…like back home?" We had never talked about his home. I knew which state and eventually nailed down a part of the state, but never his exact town. Even after all the time together, I knew so little about his life outside of the campus.
He nodded. "Yeah, this was just fun. But I need to be serious with my decisions now. I have a career to figure out, and I can't have any mistakes following me."
That's what I was…one giant mistake.
I never showed him, I never told him, and I never saw him again until I moved here.
"The Miles I knew was very different from now."
"I find that hard to believe."
"He was colder," I said. "He did everything very strictly. His days were planned out, and I think the only time he didn't follow that was when I was around. He was okay with me messing his plan up. Honestly, he seemed like two people at times."
"Sounds like he cared about you."
I had thought that for a long time until we broke up.
I shrugged. "I had as well."
"If you don't mind me asking, why did you guys break up?"
"We were in college, and school was over for him."
"And? He didn't want to do long distance?"
I swallowed. "I was just a fun time. After college, he had to focus on his life and future; I wasn't a part of that. Or at least, he didn't want me to be a part of it."
She remained silent for a long moment before she sighed. "He's an idiot."
"You're not wrong. I still don't really know what all happened."
"Is that why you didn't tell him?"
"I wanted to a couple of times, but I just kept thinking how unhappy he would be if he found out. For years, I told myself he wouldn't want anything to do with us. But as soon as I met him… saw how much he changed, I knew I'd been wrong."
"I get that…so what are you going to do?"
I had no idea, and it seemed I was running out of time to figure it out. I looked back at the photo of Michael. He looked so happy, and the last thing I wanted was to change his life more than I already had. Tons of questions and thoughts went through my head.
What if he wanted nothing to do with Miles? What if he got mad at me for never telling him? What if Miles wanted custody of him?
"I don't know," I said simply. "I never thought I would be here."
"Well, take each day by day, and you know Wendy and I are here for you if you need a hand."
I felt tears build up, knowing they were. I couldn't remember the last time I had someone I could really lean on, someone who understood.
"Thank you. That means a lot."
I ended the call, headed back to bed, and found Michael awake. His eyes found me, and he sat up.
"Sweetie, you don't have to get up," I said, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Michael pulled the rag off his forehead. "Mom, do you wish you didn't have me?"
My mouth dropped open slightly. "Why on earth would you ask me that, Michael? Of course not."
Michael frowned. "Because you were crying. And I'm always sick. If you had someone else…"
I reached out, taking his hands. "Michael, you are the most important person in my life. I would never wish for anyone else." I swallowed. "And you're not sick, sweetie. You're just going through a phase."
He tilted his head. "I don't understand."
I sighed, deciding now was the time to tell him. "You know how Poppy is trying to fly because she's a witch?"
He nodded his head.
"Well, you're a shifter, sweetie. That's why you're hot, and your body feels off. It's why you hear that voice."
Michael's eyes widened a little. "A shifter?"
I nodded. "Yeah, so all of this is good."
Michael's shoulders sank. "But you're human."
I knew where the question was leading. "I know. You get it from your dad."
Michael chewed on his cheek. "We don't talk about him."
I gave him a soft smile. "Do you want to?"
He quickly shook his head. "No."
I moved over, crawling back into bed. Michael curled up next to me once more, and I brushed my fingers through his hair. "If you want to, we can if you change your mind."
Michael shook his head. "We don't have to. It's just us, and that's enough."
I swallowed, feeling a knot form in my throat. I would have felt proud if I had heard him say this months ago, but my stomach would have twisted up. I knew that Miles was someone different, and he wanted to be a part of this, but I wasn't sure Michael would want him to be now.