Chapter 16 - Miles
I looked at the time and then back towards the steps leading up to the second floor. I took a sip of my coffee, trying to act casual even if my mind was a mess. I was nervous and still a little angry.
Just then, Ayden came up the stairs. He paused as he looked at his phone and then up at the group. "Laura is going to be out today and tomorrow."
My stomach sank. How would I talk to her if she wasn't coming in?
Ayden eyed me for a second before turning towards his office. And then I heard him through my head.
"I need to speak with you."
Shit.
I set my coffee down and headed around the corner towards his office. He was already in his chair and waved a hand. "Shut the door."
I slowly shut the door and took a seat across from his desk. Ayden leaned back in his chair and frowned. "I'm pretty sure it's hard for any of us to ignore what was said the other day, so you care to explain to me?"
I clenched my jaw. "Which part do I need to elaborate on? That I'm a father or that I've missed everything in my kid's life?"
I could see his eyes soften, and he felt a little empathy for me. As harsh as Ayden could be, he was a good leader.
"I'm sorry, I don't want to know what that feels like."
"It feels like shit, Ayden!" I snapped, suddenly angry again. "And she didn't even come to work!"
He waved a hand. "She didn't come to work because she didn't sleep. Michael kept her up last night."
I crossed my arms, having a hard time believing that. "Really? Or is she just saying that to avoid me?"
He frowned. "She called Ashley last night in a panic, and it woke up Owen, which is why he isn't here yet. Wendy stopped by to check on her before starting her day. He's going through his shifting phase."
I suddenly felt like an asshole.
I rubbed my eyes. "You know I'm trying so fucking hard not to be angry. I really am, but Jesus… He's a shifter? Is there anything else I don't know?"
Ayden waved a hand. "What happened between you two?"
I rubbed my head again, shaking it. "I broke up with her before I moved back. And I didn't even know she was pregnant."
"Would it have made a difference if you knew? Would you have stayed with her?"
I wanted to say yes but paused because I didn't think I would have. I was so forward about being the best of the best, and I likely would have told her to abort it. I couldn't have anything holding me back.
My shoulders sank. "I want to say yes, but I don't know. I was a different person before." I leaned back in my chair and sank into the cushion. "What do I do?"
Ayden raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"You're my alpha…guide me."
Ayden snorted. "I'm not guiding your ass anywhere anymore. I've done a lot of that for years, so it's time for you to start making decisions for yourself."
"Do I take legal action?" I asked.
Ayden frowned. "You really think you need to go that far?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know what to do. What does anyone do in this situation?"
Ayden softly sighed. "I would first talk to her before you decide anything. Because, as you just stated, you likely wouldn't have stuck around, Miles. You feel like this because you are a good person, and you've changed. You get to be angry, but you don't get to stay angry. If you want change, you need to pull yourself together and decide what you want."
"I want to be part of his life," I state. I kept playing the other day over and over. The pull toward him, the way he smiled when he got the award. In just one day, I felt joy and pride. And I just kept picturing it all the time before I missed it.
"He's almost six….six …" I felt my heart twist up. "How can I just ignore all that time I've missed? I've missed six birthdays and all the days in between. I missed his first steps and his first words. I missed his first day of school and all those summer days."
Ayden leaned forward. "Because it's only six years….Miles…you want the rest. You want to see when he's ten, starts getting hobbies when he's thirteen and goes through puberty when he's eighteen and graduating. Or when he's twenty-five and getting married."
I felt my shoulders relax. I understood his point.
"Is that all you needed?"
"No." He shook his head and pulled out a folder from his desk. "We got the report back from the fire, and it's not looking good. It looks like someone poured firestarter all over the hallway and the doors of each of the apartments on the top floor."
I raised an eyebrow. "That's odd…did you guys have everyone looked at?"
He nodded. "Yeah, the cops did a background check on everyone living in the building, and no one would have done that. The only person close was a single mother, but she's in Florida on a family vacation with her folks."
My stomach twisted, and I felt the hair rise on my neck. My wolf growled, hating who I was thinking about.
"Do we think it's Logan?"
Ayden fell quiet for a second before he shrugged. "I can't be sure, but things have been off since last year."
"Has he been spotted in town?"
Ayden shook his head. "No, but he wouldn't do this himself. He fooled Ashley's folks, so nothing stops him from having someone else do his dirty work."
"Anyone from that pack come into town?"
He shrugged. "Of course. But no one that has been concerning."
"Shit," I said, grabbing the folder and opening it. I flipped through the pictures, taking in the burn marks and the large holes in the walls that were left.
"We need to keep our eyes on the lookout because if this is Logan, this is only the beginning."
As my shift ended, I decided to stop at Laura's house. I parked in front of the house and stared for a moment. I had no idea what I would say, but I knew I needed to talk to her. Ayden was right. I'd missed out on a lot, but I didn't want to miss out on any more time.
I got out and headed up to the front. A shiver down my spine as I pulled my hand up to knock. I swallowed, knocking on the door.
I could hear footsteps before the door opened. My eyes widened, taking in Laura’s appearance. Her hair was a mess, as though she hadn't brushed it yet. She had dark circles under her eyes, and I could see they were bloodshot. She looked shocked, and her mouth opened, but it shut.
"What.. what are you doing here?" She asked, rubbing at her eyes.
I wasn't sure what to say when I could hear crying. And Michael's voice came out. "Mom, I don't feel any better."
My heart twisted, and I could see her throat bob as she had more tears build up. She took a slow breath in. "Miles, if you came to yell at me, please…I can't take anything right now. I'm hardly being held together as it is."
Suddenly, all the anger I had slipped away, watching her break apart. As mad as I was, it didn't matter. She clearly was trying.
"I came to offer a hand. They said he's been having shifter signs and unable to sleep."
She slowly nodded, pulling the door open and allowing me to step inside.
She wiped her eyes, tears breaking free as she shut the door. "I've tried everything. He's just in pain, and nothing I do seems to help. And I don't know what to do because no matter how many times you all say this is normal." Her voice cracked, and more tears broke free. "It's not. I can't help my baby, and I'm supposed to."
She buried her head in her hands, taking a long breath in. After a moment, she dropped her hands and looked at me.
"Do you mind if I try something?" I asked, remembering when I was younger.
She swallowed but slowly nodded her head. She pointed towards some stairs, and we headed up them.
I was a little surprised at how large the space was, seeing it was decorated like space. Michael laid in his bed, curled in a ball, shaking.
"Can I see your phone?"
Laura pulled out her phone, and I quickly found some wave sounds. I set it down next to Michael.
"Hey, Michael. Can you just listen to this for a second?"
Michael looked at me for a moment before he looked at the phone. He blinked, and after a minute, his shaking started to calm.
Laura looked utterly shocked. I pulled the sheets up, covering Michael, and pulled myself back up. I spotted a fan sitting next to his bed and flicked it on.
"Sound sometimes helps, and blowing cold air helps a little as well. It doesn't stop the pain, but it helps the brain focus on something else. I listened to waves or the sound of animals when I was young."
She nodded, and we moved back down the stairs. She chewed on her cheek as we stopped at the landing.
"I know you think I'm a terrible mother."
I turned to her, confused. "Why would I think that?"
She shrugged, "because…I never told you about him. I clearly don't even know how to soothe my own child."
I frowned. "Laura, that doesn't make you a bad mom. Sure, I'm not loving the idea of this situation, but I don't think you're a bad person."
She chewed on her cheek, hugging her chest. "Why didn't you tell me you were a shifter? Why didn't you tell me anything?"
I didn't know what to say. I could have. I should have. I knew she was my mate, but I rejected her.
"I just… never found a time."
She scowled. "It would be one thing if we were only together a couple of months, but we were together for two years, Miles. That's… that's not a reason. You never told me anything about your family or your life outside campus. I know I'm not in the right for never telling you, but you ended this."
I felt my shoulders sink. "I never told you because of my folks."
Her lips tightened, and I knew she was going to need more.
"My folks would never let me be with a human. Trust me, I tried convincing them, but they refused. They wanted nothing to do with you, and I wanted so badly to be the perfect son." I rubbed my eyes. "I wanted to tell you, and I was going to, but my folks told me if I brought you back, they were going to cut ties with me. I would be out of the will and out of the family business. All those years at school would have been a waste of my time."
She remained silent for a moment before she crossed her arms. "So, instead, you thought of just lying to me instead of telling me the truth?"
"You had my child and never told me," I countered. "I think we both have things to be angry about."
She looked away, running her hands over her face. She shook her head. "How did we get here, Miles? How did we go from people that loved each other to people that can't figure their shit out?"
I didn't have an answer for her.