Chapter 24
Carter
“No,” I state, stopping Willa from asking the question I know she’s about to ask.
It was a nice setup, but it’s not going to work.
“You won’t even let me finish,” she huffs on the bench next to her skates.
“Put your skates on.” I lean over the wall and point to her skates. She’s been sitting on the bench for five minutes, procrastinating from coming out on the ice.
“Can you please go on a date with Jocelyn?” She ignores me and grabs my hands resting on the wall in front of her.
“Why won’t you put on your skates?” I ignore her question and jump over the wall to help her. “Did you forget how?”
“No.” She huffs and takes her shoes off as I loosen the laces on her black and white hockey skates. “I’m trying to have a conversation with you.”
“You can do that while getting your skates on, but my answer isn’t going to change.” I straddle the bench next to her and lift her foot over my knee.
She quickly pulls it away. “Say yes and then I’ll put my skates on.”
“Willa, the doctor said you can go on the ice. I’m surprised you’re not spinning circles around me already.” I don’t get why she hasn’t gone out yet.
She misses being on skates. I see it on her face and she says it every chance she gets, but here she is refusing to put them on her feet.
“He said to put on the skates and try it out, but to go easy.” She says exactly what the doctor reiterated to me, because he told her it was ok a week ago. “It’s one date. One night and we’ll get drinks, food, and then go home.”
“And you’ll be there too?” What kind of date is this? I wouldn’t say no to a threesome, if that’s what she really wants.
“It’s a double date!” She grins.
“With who?” I shout without meaning to. I pick her foot up and finish tying her laces to distract myself.
“Jocelyn’s cousin. I met him before, but I was dating Vic.” She explains. “And now that I’m single—”
“So, your plan is to fuck this guy too.” I tighten the laces up, pulling extra hard.
“No. Hey.” She stops me with her hand over mine. “My plan is to go on a date. It’s just a date. And it’s a double date so we’ll have fun and talk. That’s it. Why are you so mad?”
“I’m not.” I lie. “I don’t trust some random cousin here for a visit. That doesn’t sound long term to me.”
“And that’s why you should come.” She grins, knowing she has me.
I can’t let her go on this date alone. Going is the only way to make sure nothing happens.
“Fine. I’ll go.” I give in. “Ready?” I pat her skates and push her legs off me before I stand to help her up.
Willa takes a deep breath with her doe eyes looking up at me. She’s scared. That’s what’s holding her back, but I don’t know what she could be frightened of.
“It hasn’t been that long. It’s like riding a bike. You never forget,” I assure her, and hold my hands out. Positioning myself between her and the door to get on the ice, I help her up.
She laughs nervously as she stands, wobbly at first, but I hold her steady.
“Nice and easy.” I step back onto the ice and help her over the short ledge.
She slowly steps out to follow me, but doesn’t move her feet. Moving her along with me, I guide her to the center.
“Ok, you can move your feet now.” They stay straight. “Do you want me to let go first?” She doesn’t respond. “Willa?”
Her chest heaves as she looks down at her skates.
“Willa?”
Her face snaps up with tears clouding her eyes.
“Get them off,” she whispers.
“What’s wrong?” I stop gliding back.
“Get them off,” she screeches. “Get them off! It hurts.” Buckets of tears slide down her face, and I don’t hesitate to pick her up.
“It hurts,” she cries as I carry her back to the bench. “It hurts. They’re breaking. It’s broken. It’s broken.” She panics as I set her down.
“Ok, hold on.” I try to calm her down as I untie the laces and carefully slip the skates off.
“It hurts. They’re broken.” She sobs on the bench, but I can’t see anything wrong.
Acting fast, I kick my skates off and pick her up into my arms.
I race her through the hallway around the arena while she keeps crying against my shoulder.
The long halls lead to the medical facility. Past the old gym and through the second rink. Willa clings onto me as we pass by some coaches and trainers for the figure skaters in a blur.
It’d be faster to go outside and around, but I didn’t take the time to get our shoes on.
“Doctor,” I call out once we make it through the door, hoping there’s at least one here.
Willa’s sobbing has slowed, but she’s still clutching my neck with her head buried in my chest.
“What happened?” One of her doctors comes out of his office and steers me to the closest exam room, but Willa won’t let go of me to put her on the bench.
“She,” I pause, catching my breath. “Her other doctor cleared her to skate. We were on the ice for less than a minute.”
I sit on the bench with her in my arms for him to examine her.
“It’s her ankle or I don’t know. She was saying it hurt.”
The doctor quickly puts his gloves on and takes a look at her ankles.
“Ms. Tomlin, you’re going to have to tell me what hurts.” He coaxes her to pick her face off my chest.
“It’s broken. I can’t…” she utters against me with a shake of her head.
“I don’t see anything,” he says after taking her socks off to get a good look at both her feet and ankles. “I’m going to get the x-ray machine to check on the plate.”
“Willa, it’s going to be ok.” I rub her back to soothe her. “You’re going to be ok.”
She shakes her head without picking it up.
“Look at me.” I pick her head up off my chest. “They’re going to figure out what’s wrong, and we will fix this.”
Her red eyes fill up with more tears as her breath comes out shaking.
I kiss the top of her head and hold her against me.
Two hours and multiple tests later, the doctor comes in with another female doctor that I haven’t seen around the school before.
“Willa, I’m doctor Birch. Can you tell me what happened?” Doctor Birch sits on the chair next to the bench.
“What’s going on?” I ask. “Nothing happened. She put on the skates and went on the ice, but she could barely move. What did you guys see?”
“Carter, calm down,” Dr. Cross warns me. “Dr. Birch is here to help. We need Willa to answer some questions. It’d be best for you to give us a few minutes. You can wait outside.”
He motions for me to leave.
I start to get up, but Willa grabs my hand for me to stay.
“No, I want him to stay. Please.” It’s the first thing she’s said in hours, and they’ll have to drag me out of here if they say no.
“Are you sure, Willa?” Dr. Birch asks.
Willa nods and clutches tighter onto my hand.
“Willa,” Dr. Cross cuts in, “we didn’t see anything on your scans. The plate looks good, everything is healing well. There hasn’t been any change since the last ones taken a few days ago.”
“Tell us what happened,” Dr. Birch coaxes her to speak.
“I… I don’t know.” Her hand shakes in mine. “I heard a crack, and I panicked.”
“What were you thinking about? Do you remember?” Dr. Birch’s soothing voice asks her questions to figure out what’s wrong with her ankle.
“I was …” she lets go of my hand and rubs her leg. “I guess my skate was just too tight.” She’s lying.
“Willa,” Dr. Birch takes Willa’s hand, “I want to help you, but you have to talk to me. You’ve been through a traumatic experience. Sometimes we have things that trigger us and can cause flashbacks.”
Willa quietly traces the lines on her leggings with her free hand.
“Are you saying there’s nothing wrong with her ankle?” This is ridiculous. “She was screaming and crying in pain.”
Willa takes my hand from waving wildly at the doctors.
“I kept hearing it crack.” Her voice shakes. “I tried to walk on it, but it was so cold and I couldn’t see through the snow. What if it happens again?” She sucks in a harsh breath. “It hurt so much.” Tears stream down her face, and I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid to hold her. “It was like I was living it all over again.”
Fuck, I shouldn’t have pressured her. She wasn’t ready, and I pushed her to try.
“It’s ok.” Dr. Birch lets go of her hand. “It’s going to get better. I’d like to see you again and we can figure it out. Would that be ok?”
Willa nods.
“I’m so sorry, Willa. I had no idea.” I run my hand over her back. Giving her the slightest touch to comfort her.
“It’s not your fault. I had to try.” Willa wipes the tears from her face.
“It was a good thing you were there.” Dr. Birch smiles at me, passing a card to Willa with instructions on following up with her.
Willa is silent when I drive her home. We attempted to skate on our lunch break from classes, and I missed the rest of them in the afternoon. But taking care of Willa is more important.
“Are you sure going on a date this weekend is the best thing to do?” I ask as we pull up in front of her house. “Are you sure you’re ready?”
“No.” She forces a smile through her still red-rimmed eyes. “But I’ll have you there to make sure I’m ok.”
“I won’t be there to save you all the time.” I stare out at the snow melting on the lawns. Spring isn’t coming fast enough.
“You save me more than you know.” She leans over and kisses my cheek. “I’m going to get some sleep, but I’ll text you later. Thank you.” She grabs my arm before slipping out the door and disappearing up her porch.
I don’t even make it fully down the steps before Gentry is jumping up from his bed to ask me questions.
“Is Willa ok?”
I back up feeling cornered. I don’t know what he heard or saw, but it’s none of his business.
“She’s fine.”
“Romy saw you carrying her to the medical wing.” He sits up and waits for me to tell him what’s going on.
People saw us, including Gentry’s figure skating girlfriend.
“I didn’t realize you two were back together,” I say, to change the subject.
“We’re not, but she’s talking to me.” He taps his leg and waits for me to put my gym bag down before asking more questions. “So, what happened? Is she ok?”
“Why do you care?” I snap and angrily shove my dirty clothes into my laundry bag.
“Willa’s our coach. I may not be in love with her, but it doesn’t mean I can’t care if she’s alright.” He challenges me with his brow raised to say he’s wrong.
“I’m not in love with her.” I avoid looking at him and continue putting my stuff away.
“I never said you were.” I look over to see the smug look on his face. “I haven’t told anyone, and I’m not going to, but at least tell me if she’s alright. You almost knocked over Romy in the hall like a fucking madman.”
I didn’t even see Romy. I didn’t see anyone, but looking back, she wasn’t the only one I rammed into.
“I don’t know,” I sigh and sit on my bed to face him. If there’s anyone I can trust to talk about it, it’s Gentry. He keeps his own secrets locked in a box, and would never give up anyone else’s in fear his would get out. “She tried to skate, but they’re saying it triggered some PTSD. It was fucking scary.”
“Shit.” Gentry puffs out his cheeks.
Yeah, Shit.
“She almost died up there.” The reality of what Willa is fighting against sets in. “I don’t know how to help her.”
“I’m sure just being there and loving her helps.” He lies back down in his bed.
“Would you stop with that love shit.” The more he talks about it, the more uncomfortable I get.
“If Romy was in trouble, I’d plow down whoever was in my way.” He tosses the stress ball I stole from Hines that we keep in the room. Tossing it up and catching it in a steady rhythm. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Except my love is dangerous.
Willa has been through too much to deal with that. She deserves better and more than I can give.