Chapter 25
Willa
A chill runs down my spine as I look out over the rink. Being near the ice isn’t the problem. Standing on it is fine.
But putting on a pair of skates again is what set me over the edge.
I’m embarrassed by how I acted, but I’m glad Carter was with me and it was just him.
I was so lost that I thought I broke my ankle again. I’ve been pushing it all back, the same way I’ve been avoiding those skates.
Carter: How did it go?
Carter texts me to ask about my first session with Dr. Birch. It wasn’t as bad as I expected. It was more of a getting to know each other meeting, and we set goals. Our talk made me realize skates weren’t the only thing I’ve been avoiding. I haven’t driven a car since the incident either.
I wasn’t able to when I was in a cast or boot, but the doctor cleared me to drive a few weeks after being in the boot. I’d just have to take it off and put it back on to walk.
Me: It went well.
He’s been checking on me at least twice a day since the incident. I don’t blame him for being worried. I would’ve been scared if I was him, too. I freaked out. Screaming at him worse than I did when he found me in the snowbank.
Getting another chill, I lift myself off the players’ bench and head home to get ready for our double date.
Jocelyn is so excited to be going out with Carter. I really hope it works out between them. She is so happy to be going on a date with him, and Carter deserves that kind of happiness in his life.
Carter: Are you sure we shouldn’t cancel this date?
Carter texts me as I make the walk home. I could’ve asked him to pick me up, but it’s getting slightly warmer out, and I wanted the air to clear my head to get ready for tonight.
Me: You are not canceling. I’m looking forward to having a fun night. Please try to have fun.
I don’t want him to go into tonight with that same chip on his shoulder he always carries when he’s doing something he doesn’t want to.
Me: Don’t be a sour puss.
Carter: But you know how much I like pussy.
Me: If you were here, I’d smack you.
Carter: Don’t make promises of a good time if you’re not going to deliver.
I send him an eye rolling emoji, but don’t dignify him with a response. I’m too nervous to worry about Carter. I haven’t been on a proper date in years.
I try to think of it as just hanging out with friends, but I want to look good. Especially when Jocelyn comes out in a tiny black dress. She looks great. Her dress has long sleeves with a high neck, but it hugs her curves and shows off her long sturdy legs.
Looking down at my outfit, I contemplate changing into one of my many short skirts I used to wear for Vic.
Ken has just got in and is using Jocelyn’s room to get ready, but Carter should be here any minute.
My high waisted pleather pants will have to do. I don’t feel comfortable wearing those skirts and I’m running out of time. The shirt I’m wearing has a deep V and boning to push my breasts up without having to worry about a bra. Jocelyn said I look hot, and more importantly, I’m comfortable.
I just finished pinning a couple of strands of hair away from my face in braids when our doorbell rings.
“Willa, can you get that?” Jocelyn calls out from the bathroom where she’s still doing her make-up.
All the girls are already out or still getting ready for their own night. I run down as fast as I can in the wedged booties I’m wearing. I’m too nervous to wear heels, but so far the wedges are working.
“Hey.” I open the door to see Carter in his leather jacket with a fresh haircut. The sides of his hair are shorter, but he still left the straight strands longer at the top and gelled to the side. His short beard is neatly trimmed, and he even has on a nice dark green button up that brings out the lighter browns in his eyes.
He sucks in his lips and rumbles a greeting at me.
“You look nice.” I give him a once over.
“Is Jocelyn and what’s his name around?” He looks past me into the house.
“They’re still getting ready upstairs.” I point up the steps and step back to let him in.
“Good.” His hand presses against the doorframe as he leans over me. “You look fucking gorgeous tonight.” His eyes slowly roam down from my face to my toes, biting his lip to make my legs clench shut.
“Oh,” I breathe out.
He leaps from the doorway at the sound of Jocelyn coming down the stairs with her cousin, my date, following behind her.
Ken smiles when he sees me. His cheeks turn a slight shade of red when our eyes meet and he runs a hand through his light golden brown hair.
Jocelyn bounces down in front of him, breaking our eye contact.
“Hi,” she greets Carter and rises on her toes to kiss his cheek. Leaning her body against his side, and hanging onto his arm. “Are we ready?”
“Shall we?” Ken holds out his arm for me to take as we head outside to the cars.
“Why don’t we all get in my truck?” Carter stops Ken from walking me to his car. “There’s plenty of room.”
“Sure,” I happily agree and climb into the backseat with Ken.
O’Halloran’s is packed for a Friday night with mostly locals and the few students that frequent it. Jocelyn hasn’t stopped touching Carter since we sat down.
“I’m so happy we got a chance to do this,” Ken says, pulling my attention away from watching Jocelyn’s hand slide down Carter’s arm and into his lap.
“Me too.” I twirl my drink in a circle on the table. “Jocelyn said you had an interview?”
“Yeah, once I graduate, I plan to train with the players for a college team like I’ve been doing with my internship. I’ve been traveling to different schools that accepted my application to start in the fall.” He goes on about the interview process. The long trips, and the different facilities at every school.
Carter clears his throat across from us and shifts to listen, and I can only imagine what Jocelyn is doing to him under the table.
I don’t want to know.
I don’t want to see.
It’s not my place to find out. He’s just my friend, and he can hook up with and date whoever he wants. I set them up. This is a good thing.
“Is that going well for you?”
“What?” I shout louder than necessary.
I missed everything he’s been talking about.
“Coaching,” he clarifies. “Jocelyn told me about your injury. Is coaching the guys’ team going well?”
“Oh, yeah.”
Carter eyes me as Jocelyn whispers in his ear.
I hate this.
Going on a double date was a horrible idea. It shouldn’t be this hard. We’re just friends.
“Do you want another drink?” Carter eyes my watered down half empty glass.
“No, um, maybe.” I stutter to figure out what I want to get out of this situation.
It’s not Ken’s fault. He’s such a good guy, and trying so hard to talk to me, but I can’t focus on anything he’s saying.
“I’d love another,” Jocelyn cuts in, inserting herself to gain Carter’s attention as she rubs her chest on his arm.
“I’ll get them.” Carter quickly stands from the booth and checks in with me. “Do you want to see what else they have?”
He’s giving me an out to take a break, but that’ll only make Jocelyn question me more. I need to give Ken a chance.
“No, I’ll just take a beer instead.” I push away the mixed drink I tried and was enjoying before the ice melted.
Carter nods and makes his way to the bar.
“He is so cute,” Jocelyn groans when he walks away. “I caught a little feel and I don’t think the rumors are wrong.” She winks at me from across the table.
“Just a little feel?” Ken scoffs at her. “I think you’re making Willa uncomfortable.”
“He pushed my hand away.” She smirks. “I’m not being too inappropriate, am I?”
“No, it’s fine.” I shake it off and see Carter making his way back to us. “How long are you here for?” I touch Ken’s thick forearm, but it feels too forced and awkward.
“Unfortunately, I have to leave tomorrow.”
“That’s a shame,” Cater grunts as he sets the drinks down.
“Kenny’s school isn’t too far from here.” Jocelyn angles herself toward Carter as he sits down.
Carter quietly sips his beer as Ken talks about his busy internship and his plans for the rest of the semester. It appears he’s too busy to be in any kind of long distance relationship, but what did I expect?
I admit, a part of me hoped we’d hit it off and rekindle some of that flirtation we had the first time we met. But too much has changed. At least for me, it has.
And I can’t stop watching Jocelyn throwing herself at Carter.
She leans in again to speak directly into his ear. Carter smiles at whatever she says. A tilted flirty smirk with his hooded eyes looking down at her that makes any woman melt.
I tighten the hold on my glass and chug down half my light beer in one gulp.
“Do you want to dance?” Ken nudges my arm. “Let’s go.”
“Oh, I don’t really want to dance.” I shake my head and refuse his outstretched hand.
“I do.” Jocelyn bounces up. “Come dance with me,” she pleads with Carter. Batting her thick, long lashes with a brush of his arm.
“I don’t dance,” Carter responds with a glance down at her legs that I’d bet are rubbing against his under the table.
“Let’s go then.” Ken holds his hand out for his cousin.
She doesn’t wait for Carter to move, purposely rubbing herself over his lap as she climbs over him.
We watch them stroll onto the dancefloor. Ken winks at me from the crowd and gets into the music while Jocelyn shakes her hips. She purses her lips and gives Carter quick glances to entice him.
“Ken is short,” Carter grunts to grab my attention.
“He’s taller than me.” I shrug at him.
“He’s not your type.” He looks around the bar as if he’s not talking about my date.
“He’s good looking, nice, and those muscles could make up for his height.” I glare across the table. “You and Jocelyn seem to be hitting it off.”
“She hasn’t been hiding her intentions,” he comments while watching her roll her hips in her short dress on the dancefloor. Flirting with her body from twenty feet away. “Is it bothering you?” He raises his eyebrow to gauge my reaction.
“No,” I lie and take another sip of my beer. “Why would it?”
“Because it’s me and your best friend.” He glares at me.
“I’m happy you two are hitting it off.” I look out at the dancefloor to avoid eye contact.
“Don’t lie to me, Willa.” Carter stares at me until I look at him.
It becomes a staring contest between us to see who will break first, but it’s broken up by Ken and Jocelyn, laughing happily as they rejoin us.
It doesn’t matter what the truth is or what feelings I have for Carter. He would never want to be with me the way I would want him to.
It’s better we stay as friends, and he can hook up with Jocelyn all he wants.