16. Penny
PENNY
“A re you sure?” His voice was low, hesitant, but the tension in his grip and the way his breath hitched told me just how much he wanted this.
I braced myself against the shower wall with both hands.
With his hand wrapped around my throat, he pulled my head back, and I turned so our mouths could meet.
I nodded, my breath hitching as I whispered, “I’m on the pill, and... I trust you.”
His fingers tightened around my hips, his forehead resting against mine. “God, I’ve wanted this for so long,” he murmured, his voice thick with restraint.
The first moment he pressed into me, skin to skin, his sharp inhale was the only sound I heard, sending a shiver down my spine. “So much better this way,” he rasped against my ear, his voice trembling. “I can feel all of you.”
God, he felt so good, filling me up like he did.
I braced myself against the shower wall with both hands, pushing back against Travis’ deep, sure strokes.
The hot water spraying down on us was nothing compared to the heat between our bodies.
The friction built with every stroke, and the tension in my core went tighter.
I didn’t know where he ended and I began.
I only knew he could never, ever stop fucking me. I would die if he did.
“So much better this way.” His voice was a breathless rasp against my ear. “I can feel you around me.”
His free hand slid down over my breasts, massaging them before traveling farther south and cupping my pussy. “I want to feel you come on me,” he moaned, moving faster, his body slapping against mine. “I want to feel every second of this tight pussy squeezing me.”
“Yes…” My head fell back against his shoulder. I was lost, totally locked in this moment.
If only it could last forever.
He took my unhappy grunt that escaped my lips before I could stop it as encouragement, driving himself harder, hitting places in me no one had ever touched.
And never will again once I leave.
No. I couldn’t think about that. The orgasm that was so close a second ago started to fade. I didn’t want to lose it. I didn’t want to lose this.
The thumb he used against my clit was miraculous. It sent bolts of fire racing from my core, radiating through my limbs. That was what I needed. “Yes, just like that,” I begged, arching against him, biting my lip to keep from shouting as the wave built, towering over me.
“That’s my girl,” Travis grunted out, pounding me mercilessly. “Let me feel it. Let me feel that pussy squeeze me.”
I came with a strangled cry, grinding my teeth, barely holding back the sound. These little early-morning get-togethers were dangerous, especially with Sofia on her new school schedule, which meant her internal clock wouldn’t let her sleep in.
A shattering orgasm rocked me head to toe, leaving me weak by the time Travis poured himself into me in a rush of warmth. His deep, throaty grunts touched something inside me, deep down inside, tainting my post-coital bliss with the lurking fears that had been growing in me day after day.
“Oh, fuck, you’re so good.” He pressed his lips to the side of my neck, sighing. “The best.”
Maybe it was wrong, but his comment made me giggle. “The best? The very best?”
“What’s wrong with that?” He slipped out of me, then reached for the body wash. We were supposed to be showering, after all.
“There’s nothing wrong with it. I just find it hard to believe.
I mean, you could have anybody.” I grabbed the shampoo to wash my hair while he lathered up his chiseled chest and torso.
I would never get tired of looking at him.
Even now, with my body still tingling and his cum dripping down my thighs and coming down from the sort of high only he could take me to, I wanted to reach out and touch him.
To trace the topography of his abs, to follow the happy trail of dark hair that led down to his impressive length.
There was no satisfying my craving for him.
But something would have to satisfy it, and soon. It was almost Thanksgiving. Time had flown by on wings, and Travis was only a couple of weeks away from the expansion going through and the first ships setting sail.
He would fly out to Manhattan the first week in December to officially put his new offices into production.
There were days on end when we hadn’t seen each other while he dealt with business both out there and back here, where he still ran an extremely large and very busy company.
There hadn’t been any mention of what he would do with Sofia when he was out there.
I wanted to ask as the curiosity was killing me, but every time I got the chance, I wound up chickening out.
Because as much as the unknown was torture, there was still room for hope. Hope that he would keep me once the six months were officially up. Hope that he would tell me he didn’t want me to leave him but that he didn’t want me to stay as a nanny, either.
He hadn’t said the words. I was stupid to think he ever would. He’d never given me any indication I was staying, and even great sex didn’t guarantee he would want a future. The love we shared for Sofia wasn’t enough to build a relationship on.
The accident with the pool had brought us closer, no doubt about it.
At least one good thing had come out of a living nightmare that brought up all of the pain of losing Josh.
Travis’ kindness had even helped me understand how much blame I still placed on myself.
But it still didn’t mean he felt anything for me.
What if he was only trying to be kind? What if all of that bonding wasn’t enough? For all I knew, he was already looking for a replacement for me. Otherwise, I couldn’t think of a reason why he wouldn’t bring it up.
The water was hot, but I shivered when an ugly thought occurred to me.
I wanted to push it away, to ignore it, but it only loomed larger as I rinsed out my shampoo.
What if he didn’t want to say anything because he was worried we wouldn’t do this anymore if I knew my job was almost up?
I wanted to believe he was better than that.
I needed to, or how was I supposed to live with myself after not only throwing away all of my principles but letting him into my heart?
Letting myself fall for him the way I fell for Sofia.
My thoughts were still in turmoil by the time we finished showering and toweled off in his bedroom. “You know, if Sofia is going to New York with you for the grand opening, she’ll need a coat,” I pointed out. “It’s cold in New York now, and she’s probably grown since last winter.”
“Good thinking. What would I do without you?” He winked at me as he passed me on the way into his dressing room.
“I figure she can miss a couple of days of kindergarten for this. Colton and all the rest of them can’t wait to see her again.
They offered to have us stay with them rather than at a hotel, but I’m on the fence. I like privacy at the end of the day.”
“Is that so? You didn’t care about your privacy last night when you pulled me in here.”
His eyes flashed when he turned back to grin. “And I made you come three times in the privacy of my bedroom, didn’t I? You know what I mean, smartass.”
Amazing, the way I could joke when my heart was sinking around my feet. Just ask him, you idiot . It was right there on the tip of my tongue. Am I going with you? Will I still have a job? Are you planning on getting rid of me without ever warning me?
Facts were facts. I’d made more than enough money to get a place somewhere and support myself for at least a handful of months before I would need to start earning a living again. But there was one problem.
I didn’t want another job.
I wanted to stay here…
… with them.
If only this were only about employment. That was the trickiest part. I couldn’t untangle the personal and the professional. The physical and the logical. Because I never should’ve slept with him in the first place. But I had, and there was no running away from reality.
There was also no running away from everything I had to do today.
We would have Thanksgiving dinner here at the house—Mom and Dad had invited me home the way they did every year, and I might have considered accepting if I wasn’t worried that my time with Sofia was running short.
I would make dinner for the three of us with Sofia’s help, and I wanted to get out to the store to pick up some of what I would need.
I laughed to myself on the way to my room to get dressed, remembering how shocked I was when Travis suggested we order a prepared meal from a restaurant. As far as I was concerned, half the fun of Thanksgiving was putting time and love into the food.
While he had a breakfast meeting before heading into the office to catch up on work, Sofia and I went to the supermarket. When she wasn’t angling for some way to score extra treats, she was the ideal companion, oohing and aahing over the giant turkeys and asking a hundred questions.
“What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food?” I asked. Not that she had many Thanksgivings under her belt, but they had been talking about the holiday at school lately.
“Pumpkin pie,” she replied, maybe half a second after I asked the question. Locked and loaded with an answer. “We need whipped cream!”
“That sounds like a good idea.” We talked about making pumpkin place cards for the table, and she picked out three small decorative pumpkins to add to the cart.
“You know what comes after Thanksgiving?” Her hazel eyes sparkled up at me.
“December?” I guessed, holding her hand and steering the cart with the other. An older woman overheard us in passing and chuckled.
“Yeeeah,” Sofia sighed. “But what holiday?”
I pursed my lips and pretended to think about it while she groaned and huffed. “You’ll have to remind me,” I concluded with a shrug.
“Christmas! Santa Claus! Will you help me write my list for him?”
I wanted to crumple up in a ball on the floor, right in the middle of the cereal aisle.
“Of course,” I agreed because what else was I supposed to say?
It depends on whether or not I’m still around?
Your father hasn’t given me the first clue whether I’m going to have a job after the first of next month?
A contract was a contract. He was a businessman.
But it still didn’t make any sense. It didn’t feel right. We were more than a boss and a nanny. I was making Thanksgiving dinner for the three of us, for God’s sake! I was more than an employee.
Everything looked different by the time we got back to the house, where Sofia ate lunch at the counter.
I put away the groceries and made up a list of anything else I needed.
I would wait a few days before buying the produce since it was only Saturday.
The biggest turkey I could find was now defrosting in the refrigerator.
Travis had talked about living on turkey sandwiches for a few days after Thanksgiving, so I wanted to be sure it would be enough.
As I made the list, my thoughts kept drifting off. What was wrong with me? There was a lot on the line here. I needed to know if I would have a job next month and if he wanted me to work with a new nanny to get her up to speed on Sofia’s routines. She was what mattered in all of this.
Whatever happened, it would be for the best. Everything always turned out for the best.
Strange, but that was getting harder to believe.
At least when it came to this.
I considered taking a nap when Sofia took hers.
Travis had kept me up half the night before the grand finale in the shower this morning.
I needed to get my head on straight since I planned on talking to him after Sofia’s bedtime.
He’d told me this morning he would be back in time for that, if not dinner.
It was time to put myself out there and let the chips fall.
First, I went down to the kitchen to run the dishwasher. The house felt like mine after living here for almost six months. I knew every inch of it. I loved the spaciousness, the airy feeling. We had laughed so much here. How could I say goodbye? Maybe I wouldn’t have to. Would I even have a choice?
I was halfway up the stairs when the doorbell rang.
Thinking of Sofia, I hustled to the door before the bell rang again and woke her, pulling up the app connected to the doorbell camera along the way.
There was a tall, willowy woman standing out there.
Large sunglasses covered a lot of her face when she slid them up and nestled them in her thick, dark curls.
Instead of opening the door, I activated the microphone through my phone. “Can I help you?” I asked, watching her.
“I’m here to see Travis.” She looked around, finding the camera and leaning in until her face was clearer. “And Sofia.”
There was something about her that sent goose bumps racing up my arms. She was familiar, though I had never met her. Why was my heart pounding? “They’re not available,” I told her. “Can I tell them who stopped by?”
“Sofia isn’t available? She’s four.” The woman folded her arms. “Who am I speaking to?”
“An employee of Mr. Knight.” Who was very, very suspicious. “And you are?”
Her pouty lips tugged upward at the corners. “I’m Sofia’s mother. And if this is the woman who thinks she can take my place, I have a few words for you too.”