6. Noah
6
Noah
T he cigarette hits my lips, and I take a deep drag, closing my eyes as the nicotine pulses through my body, easing the fire burning in my chest and making it that much easier to breathe. Fucking ironic. The one thing that’s going to kill me is the only thing keeping me grounded. I didn’t choose the smoking life, the smoking life chose me, and despite my mother’s endless objections, I’m not going to stop. I can’t.
“So, we gonna get this over and done with or what?” I ask Liam, my gaze sailing over him, waiting to see how this is going to play out. He didn’t bring me out here because he wanted to fuck me behind the school.
He takes a drag of his cigarette before blowing a cloud of smoke toward my face, and I wait patiently, knowing exactly what’s coming. Same shit, different scenery. There’s always someone who thinks I’m there just to spite them, just to take away their glory. “What are you doing here, man? This is my school. My team.”
“I don’t give a shit about your fucking school or your goddamn team. I’m here to play football and keep my ass out of lockup. That’s it.”
“I ain’t buying it. You’ve been here less than a day and already have the whole fucking school eating out of the palm of your hand. I’m the captain this season. I’m the quarterback, and there’s a fucking hierarchy. I climbed my way to the top. I earned it, and you’re not about to take it from me.”
My brow arches as I take another drag, watching as this fool gets himself worked up, thinking he can even stand a chance against me. “I don’t give a shit about being captain. I told you, I’m just here to play. I don’t need to be captain to get where I need to go.”
“You’re a quarterback,” he states as if I hadn’t worked that out.
I let him see the darkness swirling in my gaze. “And?” I question, arching a brow in challenge. “I’m gonna keep being a quarterback.”
“Like fuck you will,” he spits. “This is my team. I set the standard.”
I laugh. “You might have set the standard when you thought you were the best player on the team,” I tell him. “But there’s a new standard now, a much higher standard, and if you can’t keep up, then you’re gonna spend a shitload of time keeping the bench warm. Trust me, this is my fifth school in three years. I’ve seen it over and over again. I’m too fucking good. Not even my record can deter the coach from playing me. So, go ahead and fight for it, make a fucking fool of yourself, but you and I both know what Coach Martin is going to say. You might be able to throw a fucking ball, but I win championships.”
Liam clenches his jaw and steps into me, his gaze locked on mine. “I’m not backing down from this.”
“Come on, man. What are you trying to do here? You wanna knock me out? Throw a few punches to save your fucking ego?” I ask. “The second I enrolled at East View, your reign was over. You never stood a chance, so instead of trying to destroy what little scraps I might offer you, stand up and take it like a fucking man. You’ll still be captain and get all the fucking pussy you want. You’re not losing here.”
He holds my stare when a loud bang reverbs through the school, and my gaze cuts across to the back door of the cafeteria, the same one we’d walked through only a minute ago. Two of the cheerleaders appear and linger at the door, touching up their makeup and talking, when the one who’d been on my lap glances up. Her eyes go wide seeing us over here, and a seductive grin stretches across her face.
They start walking our way, and I let out a sigh, not remembering her name, despite only learning it a few short hours ago. Not that I care. I don’t really want a damn thing to do with her. “You wanna make this right,” Liam murmurs beside me, keeping his tone down so the cheerleaders don’t overhear. “Then give up Shannan. She’s mine.”
Ah, Shannan. That’s her name.
I laugh. “If you can take her, she’s all yours,” I tell him, having been around enough of these over-the-top cheerleaders to know when one of them thinks they’re going to be the light of my life. Shannan is no different. She wants to ride my success right to the fucking top. It’s not going to happen, but if she wants to offer herself up for me, I’m not going to say no. As long as she’s aware I won’t be going back for seconds.
Liam mutters something under his breath just as the cheerleaders reach us, and I get one more drag before Shannan plasters herself against my chest. Disgust fills me, and I inch back only to have her step with me, not daring to put even a millimeter of space between us, her perfume stinging my nose. “I was wondering where you got to,” she says, lifting her chin and hovering her face way too close to mine, waiting for me to kiss her.
I shove her off me, putting well-needed space between us as her desperation threatens to give me hives, but she doesn’t get the hint and puts her hand back on my chest, trying to be seductive as she draws little circles over the top of my shirt. “So, I was hoping you’d wanna ditch with me,” she murmurs as her friend steps into her side, the two of them looking at me with secretive stares. They look between themselves before Shannan meets my stare again. “Or perhaps you’d prefer to ditch with us. ”
My brow arches as I look down at the girls, and it’s fucking tempting.
Liam scoffs, a smug grin stretching across his face as he steps in closer. “Is this a private party or are you looking to even the playing field?”
Well, shit. I wasn’t expecting my day to go like this, but there’s nothing more important than bonding with a new teammate, especially when said teammate wants to kick my ass for even thinking about taking his position. Though I’m not going to lie, I don’t usually like to share.
The girls seem keen on the idea, but they look up at me for approval, and just as I go to respond, Zoey pops into my head, rendering me speechless. “I, uh,” I clench my jaw, the idea of bending these two girls over suddenly not so appealing. “Not today.”
“Oh,” Shannan says, disappointment flooding her eyes, but I honestly couldn’t give a shit. If she wants to fuck, she can screw Liam in the teachers’ lounge. Something tells me she’s no stranger to whoring herself out to East View’s most promising athletes.
Taking a dismissive step away, I lift the cigarette to my lips and take another deep drag, not understanding why Zoey is having such an effect on me today. All fucking day, she’s all I’ve been able to think about. The way she looked at me in the student office and the venom in her tone when she spat those lies at me. Surely she knows I wasn’t buying her bullshit. Nonetheless, her need to hate me scorched me from the inside out, but when she saw Shannan on my lap, she was jealous. She was so fucking obvious it was almost comical, but what’s more, the pain in her eyes made it possible to breathe. It was the sickest form of punishment, exactly what I’d been craving for three long years.
Raising my chin, I blow a cloud of smoke above the girls’ heads because, unlike Liam, I’m not always an asshole. “Ah, fuck,” Liam mutters beside me, nodding back toward the school.
I glance up to find a man in a suit and let out a heavy sigh. I have no idea who this is, but I’ve come to learn that the douchebags in the suits are usually the ones who hold the power. “Who the fuck is that?”
“Principal Daniels,” Shannan murmurs, fear in her tone. “Not someone you want to be on the bad side of.”
Well, shit. Just what I need.
Fury lingers in his stare as he strides toward us, and knowing damn well he’s about to demand I put my cigarette out, I quickly take the last drag. He steps right up to us, and I watch the pathetic way the two girls and Liam cower in his presence. “Girls,” Principal Daniels says before flicking his chin, silently telling them to fuck off.
Relief flashes in their eyes, and without skipping a beat, they hurry away, leaving me and Liam to face his wrath. “You must be Noah Ryan,” he says, sizing me up.
“The one and only,” I say as Liam discreetly tries to put out his cigarette as if the guy can’t smell the stench lingering in the air around us.
He studiously glances at my cigarette, demanding I follow suit and put it out, then being all too aware of what’s at risk, I do just that, dropping it to the ground and stubbing it with my toe. “You missed your appointment with me this morning,” he says in an accusatory tone.
Ah, shit. I knew I was forgetting something.
“Sorry, Bossman,” I say. “I wasn’t aware I had an appointment. I was told to head to the student office, grab my shit, and get ready for the day. I did that.”
Daniels presses his lips into a hard line. He knows I’m lying. I know I’m lying. But the question is, what’s he going to do about it?
“Yes, Dorris has told me all about your meeting in the student office,” he says, narrowing his gaze before fixing a heavy stare on Liam. “What the hell are you still doing here? The bell rang for class ten minutes ago. Get out of here.”
Liam spares me a glance before looking back at Daniels. “Yes, sir,” he says, going to take off before pausing. “Would you mind writing me up a hall pass? I’ve got Mrs. Teckler now, and she’s a bitch for handing out detentions.”
“I think a detention sounds appropriate, don’t you think, Mr. Xander?”
Liam glances down and presses his lips into a tight line before letting out a heavy, defeated sigh. “Yes, sir.” And with that, he takes off, hands shoved deep in his pockets, and not a single fucking thought for the guy whose threesome he just tried to invade.
I’m left with Principal Daniels, and I prepare myself for the worst. Day one, caught smoking just off the boundary of the school. I’m sure that’s going to do wonders for my position here.
“Let’s cut the bullshit,” Daniels says. “I know why you’re here. I’ve spoken to the Principal at St. Michael’s and am aware of just how much trouble you’ve gotten yourself into. You’re not the kind of student I wish to have inside the halls of my school. However, your mother insisted that I give you one last chance. She insisted that under all of the bullshit, you’re just a confused, lost soul. And if it weren’t for the pure devastation and desperation she expressed during our phone call, I probably would have declined. You’re trouble, Noah. You’re a danger to my school and my students, so let me make this very clear. One fuck up, one small step in the wrong direction, and I will personally ensure that you don’t see another football field in your life. Do you hear me?”
I swallow hard and nod. This isn’t exactly the first time I’ve been given a speech like this, but it’s the first time I think the guy giving it has the balls to actually follow through. “Yes, sir,” I mutter, the heaviness of my situation weighing me down.
“Now, your mother told me a little about your situation, and—”
“Excuse me?” The hairs stand on the back of my neck, not liking the direction this is heading.
Daniels presses his lips into a hard line, clearly not appreciating the interruption of what I’m assuming is a speech he’s rehearsed at least ten times before coming to me. “You’re an angry kid, Noah. You’ve had it rough. I understand your brother, Lincoln, died in an accident three years ago, and I would like to offer my sincerest condolences. However, I have been made aware that you have spiraled out of control since then. You have pushed away the people who care for you and fallen in with the wrong crowds, and while I appreciate how hard that must have been, I am not going to allow this reckless behavior to continue in my school.”
I clench my jaw, not liking this one fucking bit.
“I have spoken to your mother at length in regard to your enrollment here at East View, and if you wish to attend this fine school and graduate at the end of senior year, then there are some stipulations that you will be required to follow.”
Shit.
He gives me a hard stare. “First and foremost, the safety and wellbeing of my students is the primary goal here. As I mentioned, I spoke with your mother at length and am aware of your relationship with Zoey James. And following the reports I received from my office staff this morning, I am quite concerned. She is a promising student who has been through a hell of her own, and whether you have a history or not, I will not tolerate the kind of abuse you spouted at her this morning. Her or any other student for that matter. Is that understood?”
My hands ball into fists at my side, the rage almost hitting boiling point. What the fuck is this guy’s problem, thinking he can come at me about Zoey? I’ll deal with her the way I see fit. Our relationship, or how I handle it, is none of his damn business. The only thing that pulls me up is his comment about her going through a hell of her own, and it fucking grinds on my nerves that I don’t know what the fuck he’s referring to. Has something happened to her over the past three years that I don’t know about?
“Got it,” I tell him, hoping like fuck that’s the end of his bullshit, but apparently, he’s only just getting started.
“I get that you need to focus your anger on someone. You need an outlet, but I will not tolerate that anger creeping up on the football field and putting my students at risk. Violence is not the answer. So if you need to be angry, be angry at me. I will take the brunt of it if it means my students will continue having the safety and comfort this school offers in order to nurture their education.”
“I’m not a violent person,” I spit through a clenched jaw. “I’m not going to hurt anyone.”
“Only yourself, right?” Daniels arches a brow and lets out a heavy sigh. “The fire in your principal’s office and the clenched fists at your side say otherwise. And until you can prove that I do not need to fear for my students’ wellbeing, then I will treat you as a threat.”
I nod, the logical side of me telling me this is fair, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll be the perfect student. Coach Martin has already laid down the terms of me being on the team, and I’m not looking to fuck that up.”
“And yet, you’re out here smoking during school hours,” he mutters. “You’re off to a flying start.”
“Would you have preferred I did it on school grounds, in front of the other students? I didn’t see a designated smoking area in the cafeteria.”
“There will be no smoking on or around school grounds during school hours. Period. What you do following the school day is your business.”
“Understood,” I murmur. “Are we done?”
“Not quite,” he says. “I mentioned stipulations to your enrollment and so far, I’ve only covered one.”
Fuck me. What else could this bastard possibly throw at me that Coach Martin hasn’t already done?
He fixes me with a hard stare, and my hands grow clammy, knowing like fuck I’m not going to like whatever bullshit is about to fly out of his mouth. “On top of maintaining a hundred percent attendance record and the B+ average Coach Martin requires, you will be required to see the school counselor on a biweekly basis.”
My eyes widen in horror, my heart leaping right out of my fucking chest. “Fuck no.”
“Alright then,” Principal Daniels says. “Then good luck finding somewhere else to play. You can clear out your locker and return your combination lock to the student office.”
With that, he gives me a tight smile before turning on his heel and striding back to the school, and as I watch him go, the panic sets in. I can’t fucking sit in a little room and be forced to talk about my brother or Zoey. I won’t. I can’t fucking do it. But without this school, without this team, I’ve got nothing.
My whole body starts to shake, and my stomach twists into knots, watching as my future slips further away, step by fucking step. What choice do I have? Without this, I’m going to spiral out of control. I’m going to end up hurting someone, and not just the surface-level bullshit I’ve been dishing out, but the real, life-changing kind of shit that will live with me for the rest of my life.
I don’t want to be this fucking person anymore. I don’t like hearing my mother cry at night, and I sure as fuck don’t like hurting Zoey and pushing her away. That pain is the only thing I’ve felt in three years, but if I force myself to feel anything else or to deal with the real issues at hand, it will fucking drown me.
“Fine,” I call to Daniels’ back, not ready to give up on myself just yet. “I’ll see the fucking counselor.”
Daniels stops and turns back, his gaze lingering on mine a second too long. “That’s what I thought,” he says, pressing his lips into a tight line. “Welcome to East View High, Noah Ryan. Let’s hope you’re a great addition to this fine school.”
And with that, he walks away.