Chapter Twenty-Four
W hen I woke up Monday, I felt off and moody with a negative feeling nagging at the back of my mind. I didn’t understand why until I looked at my phone and it hit me.
It was June 13th.
I stared at the screen as I heard Logan moving around in the bathroom as he got ready for the day.
The phone suddenly vibrated in my hand and I jumped. ‘ Alexis’ came up on the caller ID and I scowled as I sent it to voicemail.
A few moments later I got a message notification. I put the phone to my ear unhappily. “Hello, Madison. I’m on my way to Phillips! Drew is being released at noon. Listen, I know you said no, but could—”
I stopped the message and deleted it, feeling my heart pounding in my chest as I grew angry with myself.
I’d been so damned distracted. Enjoying my time with Logan so much that I’d forgotten the significance of the date over the weekend. I’d lost focus on my goal of keeping my kids in blissful ignorance of their father’s exit from prison. I had to be more mindful, keeping tabs on what I could and not drop my guard and let something slip past me.
Logan quietly came out of the dressing room in workout gear, then smiled when he saw I was awake. “Morning, beautiful. I’m going to head out soon. I could stop by that Thai place and grab some lunch. Do you like dumplings?”
“Oh, um, I was thinking…” I tried to make sure my face was casual and matter-of-fact, “I got behind with work last week and should take today to get caught up. I should skip lunch, and it’s probably a good day to take a break from working on the condo also.”
Logan studied me for a moment before responding. “Okay. I’ll try to get some extra work out of the way today as well, free myself up more for the rest of the week.”
I hastily got out of bed, waving to it as I walked to the bathroom. “I’ll make this up before I leave if you want to get going.”
Logan’s brow was knit as he watched me start to close the bathroom door. “Alright… I’ll see you later—"
“Okay, have a good day!” I said quickly as I closed and pressed my back against it, letting out long slow breaths, trying to control my frustration and anxiety.
The last thing I wanted was for Logan to see me upset. That would only lead to questions I didn’t want to answer. I needed to calm down before I screwed everything up .
I started counting to 500 to make sure he was gone before I left the bathroom.
By the time I turned off my computer that evening, it was almost 6 o’clock. I’d focused on getting caught up with work all day and stayed incredibly busy. I was so thankful for the distraction but still anxious that my cell phone would ring again all day. It had stayed mercifully silent.
I picked it up now and called my mother. I reminded her of the date and confirmed nothing out of the ordinary had happened at home that day. She calmed my nerves, telling me everything was fine, and that she would call me immediately if there were anything that I needed to know about.
She told me Sadie had been a bit moody since camp pickup and suggested I video call her.
When we hung up, I grabbed my tablet from my room. Sadie answered while lying on her tummy on her bed, her head propped in one hand, her other arm wrapped around her stuffed panda Zoe.
She sighed loudly. “Hi, Momma.”
“Tough day, Sadie Bug?”
“A little.”
“Why don’t you tell me about it?”
I knew letting her talk it out would get me to the bottom of her grumpy demeanor .
Sadie started with the types of details I was used to her recounting every day, then she paused when she got to lunchtime. She looked thoughtful for a moment, then her bottom lip started quivering.
“Do… you think my dad doesn’t like me because I’m bossy?”
I was completely caught off guard. Watching Sadie’s little face start to crumble, I wanted to reach through the screen and drag her into my arms as I shook my head vehemently. “Of course not, Bug. Why would you think that?”
Sadie sat up and hugged her bear with both arms. “At lunch, I told Wesley that he shouldn’t squeeze his milk carton the way he was because he was gonna make a great big mess.”
She pushed some hair away from her face, blinking her eyes quickly, which were starting to glisten.
“He said I’m so bossy and wished he could get away from me but can’t because we are assigned to the same table. He said he bets my family hates how bossy I am and wants to get away from me too.”
Sadie’s little lip trembled again.
“So I thought, maybe my dad doesn’t want to be around m-m-m-me,” two big tears rolled down her cheeks, “because I am that way.”
I struggled to keep from tearing up myself. Sadie barely ever cried over anything. I knew she was having adifficult time with feelings she didn’t understand .
She’d started asking about her dad more often in the last year or so and I’d worried she would begin to question why he wasn’t in her life.
I clenched my teeth with frustration. Damn you and your choices, Drew .
I felt horrible that I wasn’t there to comfort Sadie. All I had were my words so I swallowed my emotions to make sure she believed the ones I would give her.
“Not even close to the truth,” I told her firmly. “Your dad not being around has absolutely nothing to do with you, sweetheart. He would be so lucky to be told what to do by you. I mean, you’re so stinkin’ smart, Sadie. I bet he could learn a thing or two.”
Her eyes brightened.
I lowered my voice and shifted mine as if about to tell her a secret. “Between you and me, I think Wesley could as well. Did he stop playing with his milk?”
She gave me a smug little smile. “Of course not, AND he did make a huge mess. Miss Stevens said she was gonna make him use a kindergarten cup if he did it again.”
“See? You are the perfect amount of bossy. I promise, Bug. I have measured it myself.”
She wiped the last of her tears away. “So then, you think he would like me? My dad?”
Choking down emotions a second time, I nodded my head emphatically while I found my voice again. “No doubt in my mind. ”
Sadie’s mouth spread in one of her sweet smiles and I felt relieved. She looked over her shoulder when we both heard my mother call from the kitchen to go wash her hands for dinner.
“Okay!” Sadie called back. She turned to the screen with a dramatic sigh. “Grandma made a cake today. Since it has been a very, veeeerrrrry hard day for me, is it okay if I have an extra big piece?”
I stifled a laugh then nodded my consent. “You can tell Grandma I approve a slice of emotional support cake.”
“What does that mean?” Sadie asked.
I grinned. “She’ll know.”
After saying goodbye to Sadie, I called Grace. Once I established she wasn’t upset about anything I relaxed and we chatted for a while until she told me she and Sage were getting ready to leave for dinner.
I went to the bathroom, and when I came out I heard a knock at the door. I knew it was Logan before I opened it. The way he seemed to be analyzing my face made me nervous as I ushered him in.
He stood a few feet from me with his hands in his pockets. “How was your day?” he asked.
“Great. I got a lot caught up.”
He nodded then cleared his throat. “I know you weren’t expecting me, but I wanted to stop by and tell you I’m sorry if I’ve done anything to make you uncomfortable or stress you out. I’m pretty sure I picked up on you needing some space this morning. I realized I’ve been asking for a lot of your time lately.”
Logan scratched his jaw before he continued.
“I just really enjoy being with you, Madison. So I wanted to come and apologize if I’ve gone overboard.”
I felt a surge of happiness followed by a pang of guilt. I’d tried not to appear freaked out this morning and had obviously failed. Logan seemed to believe my behavior was because of him. It had been in a way, but not because he had done anything wrong. My frustration was at myself because my growing enjoyment of being with him made me forget to prioritize the well-being of my children.
I needed to make sure to keep a closer eye on the Drew situation now that he’d been released. I had to do whatever I could to maintain my girls’ happiness; theirs came before enjoying a little of my own.
Most of this morning had been full of negative feelings about Drew leaving prison and I also needed to be careful to keep them in check and not behave in a way that might make Logan see red flags and want to back off himself. He might decide he didn’t want any connection to the drama if I ended up in the position of having to disclose things about my past.
I didn’t yet know if this thing between us was just a fling or something more, but I definitely wasn’t ready for it to end.
I shook my head. “No, I’m the one who is sorry. I was feeling bad about work. I realized how much time I missed and needed to take the day to focus on my job so I’m not letting my team down.”
That was partially true, I just hadn’t realized to what extent until I started working that morning and saw my actual backlog.
I went to him and started lifting my arms but paused and put them around his waist instead of his neck; careful not to touch the chain he still always wore when we weren’t being intimate. I didn’t know if Logan had even noticed, but that wasn’t the reason I did it. The memorial to his wife and their marriage had my deepest respect no matter how close we may become.
“I like being with you a lot too,” I told him. “I just need to do a better job of balancing work with Logan-fun-overload from now on.”
His face relaxed as he leaned down to kiss me.
We both heard my stomach grumble, and his lips smiled against mine. “On that note, can I take you to dinner or do you want the rest of the evening to yourself?”
Ifelt a calmness start to spread through me. How I’d felt over the weekend before I’d remembered this morning what a horrible day it was. Being with Logan made me happy. There was no reason to deny myself that.
“Let me go change.”
We found a rhythm and the days that followed felt wonderful .
I would work mornings while Logan was out taking care of his businesses and he also liked to hit the gym early.
He would call around lunchtime to confirm if I could take a break and decide on takeout, or we would put something together from what was stocked in the kitchen. After eating, I would return to work while he continued or started a project in the condo before heading to Daytona.
On days when I was busy, I’d work through the hours he was at the hospital. Others, I was able to adjust my schedule so I could go with him, meeting more patients, each of whom Logan treated like a friend, or chatting with the ones I’d already met.
Toby was always a highlight. Logan was right, the boy’s crush seemed to be growing each time he saw me.
Every visit ended in the room at the end of the hall where I would listen to Logan talk and read to Riley.
On Wednesday, I went out on the beach with a book again, glancing up occasionally to watch Logan teaching his surfer kids. He kept turning his head in my direction and rode a few waves in himself, grinning at me before heading back out to the cheering crowd of mini admirers.
If we weren’t already together, he would come back to the condo around 5 o’clock every afternoon and we’d spend an hour or two painting, changing out fixtures, or setting up furniture that had been delivered.
We usually had dinner at his place, but some nights we went out instead .
Sometimes I worried Logan would be the one to burn out on me. Every evening out, I would be a ball of nerves when we returned to the building, waiting and wondering if he would stop the elevator on the sixth floor to let me off and part ways for the night. He never did, instead entering the pin he had given me our second morning together. When the door would open into his home, he would suggest something we could do with the rest of our night.
We might go out for an evening swim, read from separate books as we cuddled on the sofa, or eat ice cream and chat about our childhoods.
One evening Logan handed me the remote and told me to pick a show for us to watch. I turned on The Witcher and giggled at the fake jealous pout he threw me each time Henry Cavill came on screen.
Inevitably, he would take my hand and we’d retire to his bedroom to spend some time entangled. We still couldn’t seem to get enough of each other.
Every night I fell asleep with my head on Logan’s shoulder, his arm slung around me. Some mornings, I woke still in his arms, others to a note that coffee was in the kitchen for me and that he would see me later in the day.
I stayed diligent with talking to my mother and Sadie every day. With Grace’s schedule, we primarily texted, but I asked her to call me when she was free.
As days passed and nothing happened related to their father, I started to believe I’d been worried for nothing.
The girls would be here in a few more weeks and I would feel even more secure. I was looking forward to their arrival, but still enjoying my alone time with Logan.
On our second weekend together, he took me to Orlando. We had sushi before a comedy show. It ended late so Logan surprised me with a suite he’d booked in an upscale hotel and then he ordered us a big room-service breakfast the next morning. It was a new and enjoyable experience,having a man spoil me.
We were having so much fun together, even when we kept it simple and stayed in for an evening. I hadn’t laughed so much in years.
We’d quickly combined our daily lives, falling into a routine that seemed so natural. In the back of my mind, I thought about how it would have to change when my girls and mother arrived.
That made me anxious about what that would mean for us. Would we still find ways to spend time together or would our connection flicker out?
Logan seemed just as happy as I was. A hope kept growing that this relationship —we still hadn’t defined what type it was exactly— was one he would also want to continue, both when my family got here and when I had to go home at the end of the summer.
I knew we would have to bring up the future at some point. I tried not to overthink things and focused on soaking up every minute we got to spend together instead.