Chapter 8
Walking along the hallway to his room, Darcy felt happy and grateful for his good fortune and so light hearted that he was certain he could fly. He laughed at the foolish thought, instantly imagining how he would look actually flying and what the servants would say.
There could be no misunderstanding or doubt left now: her feelings had changed since April, and she wanted him to see that.
She had showed him and told him as much.
The first moment she opened her eyes and saw him there in her room on her bed in a scandalous, shocking situation, he was alarmed to a degree he had never been before.
He was concerned he might have shocked or offended her so badly that her good opinion would be forever lost. He expected her to scold him, throw him out of her room and then leave his house at the first opportunity.
In fact, most women in a similar situation would have demanded an immediate marriage to compensate for their ruined reputation, but Elizabeth would not have done that, and a forced marriage was not what he desired in any way.
However, all his fears were put aside when Elizabeth, eyes sparkling with surprise, smiled at him; he felt, undoubtedly, her hand squeezing his, so he could not leave. Even now, he could feel her soft fingers warming his with the most delicious sensation he had ever experienced.
No, not the most; the most delicious, shockingly, scandalously pleasant feeling he experienced had been when he held her in his arms on the horse, sensing every part of her body crushed against him in a fervent, amorous embrace.
He had known other women—intimately—but he had never held a woman so tightly to him, so tightly to his heart, nor had he ever experienced such blissful happiness from a woman’s closeness.
The moment they had arrived at Pemberley and she was taken from his arms, both his body and his heart felt torn in half, longing for her to complete him again.
And his desire had been fulfilled—though only to a small degree—during dinner and afterwards when they had spent the entire time together.
Then, in her bedchamber, the way she spoke to him—the way she teased him—and then told him she was anxious for anything he wanted to show her or tell her.
No, there could be no doubt; she wanted him to talk to her and he would—the very next day.
He planned not to demand an answer but to declare himself and ask permission to court her properly until she was prepared to accept him.
Yes, this time he was certain she would accept his love and, eventually, his hand in marriage.
He entered his room, wanting nothing more than to lie in bed and sleep as long as he could, which would not be long considering the appointment he had for the morning. He startled in shock when the door of his bedchamber opened and a wet and unsightly Colonel Fitzwilliam barged in.
“David, what on earth happened? What are you doing here at this hour? Come in, sit by the fire and let me pour you a glass of brandy; you look very ill.” He instantly filled two glasses—his only half full, the colonel’s to the top—but as he turned to hand it to his cousin, he met the colonel’s glowering countenance.
There was a chill in his tone that Darcy had never heard in all the years they had known each other.
“I was on my way to Pemberley earlier today when I was caught in the storm and forced to seek shelter. One of your tenants hosted me in his home until the rain stopped, which was only an hour ago, and I hurried to ride here as fast as I could. Now I realise I made a mistake. I never should have come without announcing my visit.”
“Nonsense, David, you know this is your home, too; you may come and go whenever you please. Let me call Stevens to prepare you a bath.”
“No need to bother; I talked to Stevens when I entered—and with one of the maids, too. She was kind enough to offer me a cup of tea, which she mentioned, was prepared for Miss Bennet who is here and not feeling well.” As he spoke, his voice mixed sharpness with mockery, and his icy eyes narrowed as he watched Darcy.
“Yes, Miss Bennet and Georgiana had a picnic today and were caught in the rain, but fortunately, Cassandra and I arrived in time to bring them home safely. Now they are both unwell and a bit feverish, but we hope it is nothing serious,” explained Darcy, puzzled by his cousin’s strange attitude.
“Yes, I heard about your heroic rescue. The maid as well as Stevens were very impressed and related it to me with great enthusiasm. Yet I cannot help wondering why saving Miss Bennet from the rain gives you the right to place her in a room close to your apartment and visit her in the middle of the night.” By now, his voice was steely cold, and his eyes were full of rage.
Darcy froze for a moment, unable to formulate an answer and considering what he should say. He decided to trust his cousin and confide in him as his best friend; yes, he needed to talk to someone about his impropriety and its happy result: the discovery of Miss Bennet’s true feelings for him.
“How dare you, Darcy?” cried the colonel before he could say a word.
“What has happened to you? Have you lost your senses? To have both Lady Cassandra and Miss Bennet under your roof and act like the worst of scoundrels—trifling with them both only a few steps from Georgiana’s apartment.
You must be completely mad, and I will not allow you to go on with this! ”
Darcy instantly turned white, staring at his cousin as at a complete stranger who spoke an incomprehensible language. He put his glass down and then walked slowly to the nearest armchair and sat down.
The colonel was a bit more clearheaded than his cousin.
“I shall send a note to the Gardiners first thing in the morning to come and retrieve their niece; she cannot remain here a moment longer. Even if you have no consideration for her, I have. As for Lady Cassandra, you clearly have no affection for her, but you at least should have a little respect if you indeed intend to marry her.”
Struggling to control his own rage, Darcy finally lifted his eyes to his cousin’s face, red with anger.
He breathed deeply and managed to calm himself before answering coldly, “I would be tempted to kill anyone else if they had said such things to me, but with you I am too grieved and pained to even be angry. I never would have guessed this is your opinion of me after you have been like a brother and best friend all my life. Thank you for this enlightening disclosure. And now please be so kind as to leave my room—and feel free to do what you think is necessary. As for Mr and Mrs Gardiner, I have already sent them a note and am expecting them as soon as the weather permits them to travel, so there is no need to trouble yourself.”
The colonel remained still, eyes and mouth opened in disbelief. “Darcy, now I am certain you are completely mad! That is all the answer I can expect from you? Have you nothing more to tell me?”
“Indeed, that is all I have to say to you.”
“But Darcy…”
“Cousin, please leave. My anger will soon defeat my control, and I do not want a scandal in the house at this hour. We shall talk at some point—another time when I am able to face you again.”
The colonel threw his glass in the fire and quit the room with the same expression of rage on his face.
Yet, after only a few minutes, while Darcy still had not recovered from the shock of their conversation, the colonel returned, poured another glass of brandy and fell into an armchair.
Darcy did not even lift his eyes to look at him.
“Darcy, kill me if you wish to, but for God’s sake, talk to me! What should I believe? I arrived an hour ago, I was told you were not yet asleep and came to talk to you—and I saw you exiting Miss Bennet’s room at four in the morning. What else am I to believe?”
“Yes indeed, what else could you think except that I took advantage of her poor condition to dishonour Miss Bennet while she is my sister’s guest and lies feverish in a room next to Georgiana. That is something any gentleman would do and I more than anyone.”
The colonel started pacing the room nervously, swallowing all the brandy violently and then pouring himself another glass.
“Very well, very well, I admit that maybe I was wrong. I was in too great a hurry to accuse you, but you must understand that I was tired and cold, and I was so shocked when I saw you. You know I have always admired Miss Bennet and considered her a friend; and Lady Cassandra is…Well, I assume you had a valid reason to be in Miss Bennet’s room, but still it was unacceptable.
What if somebody else had seen you? The scandal would have ruined Miss Bennet’s reputation forever. Did you consider that?”
Immediately, Darcy’s affection for his cousin and his worries for Miss Bennet’s reputation defeated his anger and the offense he took at the colonel’s words.
No matter how unfair and outrageous his accusations had been, he knew the colonel was right, and anyone in his place would have shared the same opinion.
He rose, poured more brandy for himself, and finally turned toward his accuser.
“Yes, I did consider it, but unfortunately, I unwisely chose to ignore my misgivings. I checked on both Georgiana and Miss Bennet before retiring to my room because I was worried for them both. And when I entered Miss Bennet’s room, I was under the impression the maid was still about, so my intention was only to inquire after her.
It is equally true, however, that when I discovered Miss Bennet was alone, I still entered.
I know what scandal my behaviour might have aroused, but I cannot regret it, because I was fortunate enough to have everything resolved to my satisfaction. ”
“Oh, indeed? Well, at the risk of sounding even more offensive, did you consider Miss Bennet’s satisfaction as well? What if she discovered your little escapade?”