Chapter 8 #2
“In fact, she did discover me. She awoke while I was there—
“Did she? Then how can you say all is well? I know Miss Bennet to be an honourable young lady, and I imagine she was outraged to see you.”
“Yes, she is everything you said and so much more. But, no, she was not angry at all. I have reason to believe she was pleased, so much so that tomorrow I intend to talk with her privately, and if the result is the one I am hoping for, I shall speak to her uncle and then write to Mr Bennet as well.”
The colonel’s shock grew alarmingly until he was forced to fall into his chair once more; another glass of brandy was gulped instantly, and he felt so dizzy he could hardly keep his eyes open. “What private talk, Darcy? What result? You cannot possibly intend to propose to Miss Bennet!”
“Why on earth not? I can and I surely will do precisely that.”
“But…but what about Cassandra?”
“Cassandra? Why are you involving her in this conversation?”
“Why? Because you are about to marry her. Everybody knows that!”
“Oh, come now; that is ludicrous. How can you say such a thing? I love Cassandra dearly; next to you, she has been the dearest and closest friend I have ever had. I would do anything for her. But marry her? Are you out of your senses? Where did you get such an idea?”
“Where? From you and her of course! Since Lady Cassandra returned, you have been together constantly; you and Georgiana have declared how happy you are to have her company. And she kept talking about marrying you! I imagined she was mostly talking in jest, but you never did anything to contradict her.”
“Oh come now, David. Cassandra and I have behaved that way since we were children.”
“Well, you are not children anymore, Darcy. And it is not only my opinion; the whole of London is waiting for the announcement—
“Aaaah, yes…well, ‘the whole of London’ has speculated about the event since the first season we were out, so that is nothing new. Nobody can seriously consider it after all this time.”
“Well, my mother said it is only a silly rumour, and she laughed at it. So, you will not marry Lady Cassandra?”
“Certainly not!”
The colonel started pacing the room again in even greater agitation.
Darcy, tired and under the warm influence of the brandy, demanded rest. “Cousin, now that we hopefully have cleared all misunderstandings, is there anything else that cannot wait until morning? If not, I should like to sleep a few hours at least.”
“What? Oh…no, no there is nothing urgent, nothing at all. I shall leave now. I am sure my bath is ready.”
“Very well. We shall talk again at breakfast.”
“Breakfast? A late one if you please,” he added as he exited the room.
His cousin’s apparent preoccupation puzzled Darcy, but his fatigue was even greater, so he allowed himself to enjoy his comfortable bed.
So many extraordinary events had occurred that day, and he could hardly believe them.
Closing his eyes, he rejoiced in the happy memories that began when Elizabeth arrived at Pemberley.
“Elizabeth,” he whispered, and her very name caressed his heart like a tender touch.
Now that things were calm and clear, he could smile at the absurdity of the incident with the colonel and even take pity on his cousin for his misapprehension.
What pain and disappointment he must have suffered, imagining all those horrible things regarding him and Miss Bennet.
Surely, it must have been the effects of his exhaustion, or else he never would presume I am to marry Cassandra.
He laughed. Since they were quite young, their families had discussed the possibility, and later, in the first years of their youth and after their first Season in Town, the speculation was on everyone’s lips.
Both he and Cassandra had laughed about it endlessly.
Of course, there had been that dreadful moment when their marriage was needed and would have helped Cassandra—and he had been more than willing to do it; yet even then, Cassandra had rejected him, and it was many months before he understood the reason for her decided refusal.
After all, most marriages were arranged, and those spouses certainly did not share the affection and friendship he and Cassandra possessed.
At that moment when their parents had passed away and they were all alone—he, Cassandra and Georgiana—the prospect of a lifetime together was the best thing he could imagine.
However, after he met Elizabeth and his heart succumbed helplessly to her, he understood what a man should feel for the woman with whom he wished to spend his entire life.
The fact that most gentlemen did not possess strong feelings for their spouses was no longer of any importance to him.
And now, when he finally had reason to hope that Elizabeth was returning his ardent love, he managed to comprehend fully the wisdom of Cassandra’s refusal of an arranged marriage.
What a tragedy it would have been for him to meet his true love after he had pledged himself to another!
Once more, he discovered a further reason to feel indebted and grateful to Cassandra—even if she sometimes pushes me past the limit of my patience as she did last night with Caroline Bingley. What a torture!
Cassandra had always enjoyed putting proper manners aside, and their behaviour toward each other had seemed difficult to accept or understand by the people around them, especially members of the ton.
Had they been family—true brother and sister—the liberty with which she always addressed him and teased him in public would have been hardly acceptable.
But there was nothing to be done with her manners, not after her parents as well as his had always allowed her those little breaks in decorum.
Their close acquaintances and friends had become accustomed to their friendship, and Darcy was certain that, despite the colonel’s assertion, no one could misread their familiarity as an indication of romantic involvement.
Of course, to a complete stranger, their closeness could be bewildering, but that rumour about his marrying Cassandra was ridiculous considering that he also had been in the close company of Elizabeth and openly shown his preference for her.
Even the first time they all met at the theatre and later at the ball, surely it was clear that his behaviour toward Elizabeth was different than his friendly familiarity with Cassandra, and his intentions toward her surely were clear enough.
How could anyone confuse that? It was also true, he admitted on closer introspection, that Elizabeth’s manner was more proper and restrained then Cassandra’s, but still —
Suddenly, Elizabeth’s beautiful face filled his thoughts, and he let himself be spoiled by those delightful memories, but a moment later, he almost jumped from his bed. Elizabeth!
Elizabeth was surely one of those who had witnessed his familiarity toward Cassandra without being aware of the nature of their connection. How was it possible for him not to have considered that until now?
He tried to ward off the sudden headache that seized him, while images of his previous encounters with Elizabeth in London flew into his mind: that first day in the park, her visit to his home, the night at the theatre, his visit to the Gardiners, and then the ball.
He remembered how puzzled and troubled he had been by the unsteadiness in Elizabeth’s manners and attitude toward him.
Moment by moment and memory by memory, it became clear to him that the changes in her behaviour were due not to his presence—as he had presumed then—but to Cassandra’s presence.
What a horrible situation for Elizabeth!
What must she have thought of me—paying attention to her and, at the same time, being so familiar, so intimate with Cassandra!
How could I have been such a fool? And that day she and Cassandra left my house together… God knows what Cassandra said to her!
He paced the room and stopped at the window; it was almost light outside.
He struggled to remain calm and use good judgement.
It was likely, due to her admirable intelligence and perception, that Elizabeth had already understood his intentions; so much was obvious.
Had she any doubt about the honour behind his attentions, she surely would not have behaved warmly toward him, nor would she have allowed him in her room, let alone held his hand.
How have I been so fortunate to gain the affection of such an admirable lady despite my folly and my thoughtless actions?
he wondered, smiling to himself with pride and joy.
Now, there was nothing for him to do except prove himself worthy of her and remove every obstacle from the path of her serenity and happiness. “Elizabeth,” he whispered again, while allowing sleep finally to conquer him. It was already daylight.
∞∞∞
Darcy slept no more than a couple of hours, but he felt rested and remarkably alive when his servant entered the room quietly.
“Good morning, Stevens. Would you bring me a cup of coffee, please? Or even two?”
“Certainly, sir. I have already taken the liberty of bringing you the coffee.”
“Thank you; you are truly a mind reader.” Darcy answered with a familiarity that surprised the servant. Stevens was certain he had not seen his master possess such an easy disposition since he took over full responsibility for the estate five years before.
“Stevens, would you please inquire after my sister and Miss Bennet? Has the doctor arrived yet?”
“I already did that, sir. Mrs Reynolds informed me that both Miss Darcy and Miss Bennet slept quite well and are not yet awake. Apparently, the fever is gone, and she said she doubted the doctor would be needed, but she sent the carriage for him regardless.”
“Excellent! Excellent,” Darcy declared, his mood brightening even more.
“The colonel is still asleep, sir,” continued Stevens.