Chapter 20 #2
“However, I will confess to you—and I trust your secrecy implicitly—that I allowed the colonel to stay with her after the doctor left. He practically begged me, and I had no heart to refuse him. I know I should not have done that. Cassandra was certainly in no condition to have a man in her room, and I know she will be furious that someone has seen her in such a state, covered in bandages, her nightgown damp from fever. I was tempted to refuse the colonel despite his obvious pain and torment. But then she called his name, and he heard her and hurried to the bed. He took her hand and started to talk, and she seemed to calm. Then he moistened her lips with a little tea, and she actually licked it. She fell asleep while he remained kneeling by her bed, holding her hand and whispering to her. What should I have done? How could I refuse him when his presence seemed so beneficial for my dear girl? I retired to a corner and left them alone. Miss Bennet, I do not know what is happening, but if something or someone might help my girl’s recovery, as God is my witness, I will not refuse it!
She might be angry with me when she recovers, but I would give my life to see her well and sound—and angry with me! ”
Mrs Spencer turned pale as she spoke, and she appeared unable to stand. Elizabeth hurried to take her arm and directed her to a chair.
“Mrs Spencer, I know it is not my part to decide, but I heartily agree with you! I do not believe the colonel’s presence would harm Cassandra. I have the highest opinion of the colonel,” Elizabeth was interrupted by Darcy’s unexpected entrance.
He greeted them warmly, his eyes falling tenderly on Elizabeth. Mrs Spencer smiled to herself.
Darcy’s worry for his friend made him grimace in grief that there was no improvement and her fever had little diminished.
He stayed near her, held her hand briefly, and then touched her forehead, startled at how hot it was.
He rose nervously, and then asked where the doctor was and why drastic measures had not been taken.
In his agitation, he declared he must fetch other physicians from Town, as neither Dr. Barrington nor Mr Jones had seemed to discover a remedy.
“Mr Darcy, please calm yourself, sir,” Mrs Spencer said gently.
“I understand your worry, but I am sure the doctors have done everything that could be done. Please let me inform you about the result of their latest examinations. Besides,” she added with a slight hesitation, “Cassandra did speak a few words—though not quite coherently. The mere fact that she is not completely unconscious should be a good sign, should it not?”
Darcy barely heard Mrs Spencer and only tried to control his temper in order not to distress Elizabeth further.
His resolution increased a few moments later when Georgiana joined them, her blue eyes ringed by dark circles, her face pale, and the lack of sleep aging her appearance.
Once she entered the chamber, Georgiana sat near Cassandra and held her hand; she could not fight back her tears, nor did she make the attempt.
When Cassandra broke the silence and whispered a few words, they all gathered around, but none of their entreaties brought Cassandra to consciousness.
If the ladies were sad and desperate, Darcy felt generally helpless, watching Cassandra struggle with the fever—as though trapped in a cage from which he was unable to free her.
He would prefer to leave the room than suffer being powerless to help, but how could he desert the ladies when they might need him?
On the other hand, was it proper for him to be in Cassandra’s room?
Likely not! Then why did nobody tell him that? Yes, perhaps he should leave for now.
“Mr Darcy, if you have some business to attend to, please do so, sir. We will call you if we need anything,” said Mrs Spencer.
He nodded silently in agreement and, slightly uncomfortable and with a last look at Elizabeth, moved to the door. Then he turned unexpectedly to them.
“Ladies, what did Cassandra whisper? I cannot be certain, but I thought I heard her calling a name—something like ‘David’.”
Mrs Spencer and Elizabeth exchanged a quick glance and then looked at Georgiana who nodded in agreement.
“Yes, she called ‘David’ more than once—I heard her,” Georgiana explained with excitement.
“But David?” Darcy sounded puzzled as he looked from one lady to the other. “Who might this be? I do not know any David except my cousin.”
Georgiana looked quizzically at his misunderstanding while Elizabeth exchanged another quick glance with Mrs Spencer. The elder lady could not help rolling her eyes at such naiveté.
“But brother, she is calling our cousin! It is so obvious.”
“Why on earth would she call David? It is true that she was fond of him when she was younger, but why would she call only his name? Well, after all, it matters little if her health improves. I would not—
A moment later, his face turned pale at the sudden revelation.
“No, that cannot be! He would not trifle with her! Not with Cassandra.” Before any of the ladies could stop him, he exited the chamber, slamming the door behind him.
It took Elizabeth a few moments to recover, and while silently wishing for advice from Mrs Spencer, she hurried to follow her betrothed and intervene before he instigated an unnecessary argument.
∞∞∞
In the back garden of Netherfield, away from curious eyes, a shocked, incredulous Darcy stared at a troubled David Fitzwilliam who had just finished an extraordinary revelation.
When he left Cassandra’s chamber, Darcy was so full of rage that he could not think properly; all he had in mind was that his cousin—who had always found great enjoyment in female company—behaved improperly toward Cassandra, a situation that had seriously affected her and continued to trouble her even in her precarious state.
He had searched for David, but he was not to be found in either his apartment or the library; not even Bingley knew his whereabouts.
Finally, Darcy discovered his cousin taking a solitary stroll around the house and hurried to him, demanding explanations and reparations.
However, the instant he saw the colonel’s grievous expression and the sorrow in his eyes, Darcy’s anger vanished.
Still, he demanded an explanation, and he got one. It appeared that David had been waiting for his cousin to inquire so he could unleash his agonising secret.
“Now you know everything, Darcy. Forgive me; I know you are angry with me. I know I should not tell you these things. But I cannot bear it alone any longer when she might…I desperately needed to speak to you, but I did not dare approach you. I have never felt like this before.”
He looked devastated, and Darcy wished to comfort him, but how does one gentleman comfort another?
“So, she refused to marry you, but she agreed to…you know…”
“No, she did not agree. I mean, it was not I who suggested it. I never would have dared to…not with Cassandra.”
“So, what do you plan to do now?”
“I am at a loss as to what I ought to do. After she told me about her husband, I was half desperate, half relieved. I understood I could not possibly compete with his memory or with her desire to punish herself for something that was not even her fault. On the other hand, the situation was not completely hopeless, as I was content to know her heart is not otherwise engaged. I even told her I do not intend to abandon my hopes. I only planned to depart for a time to allow her to regain some peace and serenity.”
“She must have a tender regard for you or else she never would have…you know. She is not that sort of woman.”
“I know what sort of woman she is, Darcy! That is precisely why I was so angered by her rejection. I was certain she had affection for me. I felt she had loving affection for me,” he said passionately, and Darcy averted his eyes.
They should not be discussing this and certainly not about a friend who was like a sister to him.
“What do you plan to do now?”
“What is there to do? The only thing that matters to me now is Cassandra’s health. I do not care about her marrying me or about my wishes. I pray only to see her recovered; I will ask nothing more. However, I must stay with her. I know it is highly improper, but you cannot refuse me!”
“I have no right to refuse you anything. God knows my concept of proper behaviour and decorum has changed dramatically since last autumn. The only one who might keep you away is Mrs Spencer. Elizabeth and Georgiana also might consider your presence in Cassandra’s chamber to be strange.
You will have to inform them of some of the particulars of your recent history with Cassandra. ”
“Mrs Spencer was wonderfully sympathetic. She allowed me to stay with Cassandra last night. But you are correct. I must tell them something…and Bingley, too, as he is the master of the house. The servants will likely gossip about my being in Cassandra’s chamber, and I will need Bingley’s support in this. ”
“I agree. So will you tell? Surely you will not lie to them—nor can you tell the entire truth.”
“I will confess my feelings for her and that I proposed but she refused me; it should be enough.”
“Very well; now let us return to the house; I am in great need of a brandy before breakfast.” The colonel agreed with him immediately.
That day at a late breakfast, Elizabeth was relieved to see that, despite the fact she did not find the gentlemen in time to prevent their argument, they seemed to be on friendly terms. They had obviously talked and, during the meal, remained more silent then ever; they often exchanged glances of unknown meaning.
Elizabeth was curious but content simply to wait to be informed of the details.
She was certain that, if it were something to be shared, Darcy would tell her.