Chapter 20 #5
“I will struggle all my life for your forgiveness if you will still agree to marry me. I cannot bear the thought that you might leave me. I would gladly give my life for you, Elizabeth.”
She sighed furiously, and her eyes—only a few inches away—glared into his.
“I do not want you to give your life for me, you stupid man! I want you to take care of your life and share it with me for many, long years.”
“My dearest, loveliest Elizabeth…” he whispered adoringly, his arms embracing her as his lips brushed her face with countless kisses.
She was still angry with him, but she could not resist his kiss. She was so cold that, when he pulled her close to him in bed, she only moaned in contentment. His caresses, even sweeter than she remembered, warmed her; when she quivered again, it was not from cold.
She was breathless from his weight crushing her; she felt her gown pulled up to her thighs and his legs entwining with hers as he lay on top of her. She was a little frightened to be trapped beneath him; however, it was not fear but a lack of air that made her stop him.
“William, please stop,” she whispered, but for a moment, he seemed not to hear her. She repeated her plea, and he obeyed instantly, breaking the kiss and looking at her closely.
“Elizabeth, I am so sorry. I forgot myself.” He looked devastatingly handsome as he gazed at her, begging forgiveness for his impulsive desire.
“Do not apologise, sir,” she smiled, struggling for air. “It is just that…you are too heavy to bear,” she said, blushing.
“Oh, please forgive me. I did not think that it might be uncomfortable for you. I have lost myself,” he repeated and hurried to move away from her, but she trapped him with her arms.
“It is not at all uncomfortable, sir,” she replied, forcing a smile to conceal her mortification. “I was just wondering whether you could…do something…not to be so heavy,” she concluded.
He moved a little, and she felt easier. His warmth was still there—he was still lying upon her—but his weight had become bearable.
“I am so sorry, my love,” he said, his eyes fixed on hers.
“Oh, you were not that heavy,” she replied teasingly.
“Not for that.” He smiled back at her, yet he was obviously affected.
“Well, that other subject will not be so easy to resolve, sir. I still do not forgive you; I am just happy to see you unharmed and to know Cassandra is better, and I am rejoicing in all this good news after such torment. But I still want more details about the duel,” she said severely.
“I will tell you everything you want to know.”
“And I will have some very clear demands if we are to be married.”
“Will I be allowed to negotiate them, madam?”
“Not much, I am afraid. Furthermore, I still intend to punish you for your actions,” she smiled mischievously, and he seemed finally to relax.
“Do you have any specific punishment in mind?”
“No, I am too tired to think, but I will give it proper consideration once I am more rested.”
“I will wait patiently and accept my sentence.”
By that time, his lips were already touching hers, softly brushing them without completing the kiss.
“Elizabeth, though you might not know it, you are already punishing me.”
“How is that, sir?” she inquired, but the last words went unheard as his mouth finally captured hers. She enjoyed the kiss much more than any answer and did not complain.
Now that their bodies were not quite pressing against each other, there was room left for his insatiable hands to explore and caress with tender passion.
She vividly remembered the sensation of his touch, yet when his fingers brushed over her breasts and cupped them with gentle possessiveness, she shuddered and cried against his mouth.
When the need for air made him break the kiss and his lips rested upon her temple, she managed to whisper as she impulsively pressed her lips against his ear, “How do I punish you, sir?”
Darcy lifted his head so he could look deeply into her eyes. “You are not aware of it, my love, but your generosity in allowing me to hold you, to kiss you, to caress you without joining as man and wife is a painful torture—a sweet one to be sure, but truly painful.”
“I see…” She knew she should feel ashamed of having this conversation, of being with him in such a scandalous position, of enjoying his attentions so wantonly. “I did not intend to punish you this way. If you wish it, I would not oppose…putting an end to your torture.”
Darcy’s look was incredulous, but if he doubted the meaning of her words, the passion sparkling in her eyes and the acceptance and invitation in her gaze were eloquent proof of her intentions.
“I have desired nothing more in my life, nor have I been more tempted,” he whispered. And if I considered my wishes alone, I would not hesitate for a moment, but I am thinking of you.”
“Of me? But I would not mind. I trust you, and we are to be married in less than a month.”
“Oh, that is not what I am worried about,” he replied and his dark gaze made her tremble; she felt thirsty and licked her suddenly dry lips.
“You see, my love, our joining as husband and wife should not be rushed through fear of being heard or interrupted by a curious servant. When you become my wife, it will be a day of joy with no worries, no concerns, no people around to interfere, and no asinine mistakes on my part to distress you. Only you and me, and the perfect solitude of our chambers.”
She looked disconcerted, and he was delighted to see her disappointed.
“Trust me, my love. I cannot explain in more detail, but you will better understand what I mean now after that has actually happened.”
Elizabeth tried to smile “Mr Darcy, you are presumptuous to ask me to trust you upon your word this evening. You have much to do to regain my trust—in every respect.”
“As I said earlier, I will spend the rest of my life striving for your forgiveness and your trust.”
“I am glad to hear it, sir. And Mr Darcy, when you left for London in such a hurry, I missed telling you something of great importance.”
He stared at her with concern. She smiled and her thumb brushed against his mouth as she replied. “I missed telling you how much I love you, sir.”
Later that night, Darcy carried her back to her room and secured her promise that she would try to sleep until late in the morning.
She agreed but did not forget to mention she was still upset with him.
He smiled and asked for her forgiveness—again—kissed her hand ceremoniously and bowed politely before leaving the room.
A few minutes later, Elizabeth was sound asleep. As for Darcy, dawn found him in his chamber, gazing out of the window, thankful for the greatest fortune of his life: Elizabeth.