Chapter 21
Remy
I didn’t mean to lose it on her. No. Fuck that. I did mean to lose it on her. She had to hear it, though. She had to know I was just as fucking angry and full of pain as she is. That’s my daughter out there somewhere. My child I never knew existed. I shrug my cut on and grab my shit before heading back to the main room.
The sun’s coming up now, and by the time I make it back out there, the other guys are getting up.
“You look like shit. Didn’t sleep?” Hodge asks. I shake my head and glance over at Tianna at the bar in a fit of tears. There’s nothing else I can do for her. There’s nothing I can say that’s going to make this better.
“No. I need to find her, Hodge.”
“Gunner’s been up all night in his room goin’ over leads. He didn’t want to say much to you, but there’s a house that appears to be a cousin of Brad’s not too far from where she lived,” he says. Now I’m on high alert.
“Are we hittin’ it?”
“He was gonna run that by you later this mornin’. We don’t know if Brad’s there or if that’s where they’re holdin’ Charlie. Hell, it may just be his cousin’s house, but we don’t know.” I nod my head and debate telling Tianna, but I think better of it. She doesn’t need anymore stress on her. She has enough already.
“Let me know when you’re ready,” I tell him. Hodge nods his head and goes to the kitchen as I walk outside and light up a cigarette. I let the nicotine fill my lungs as I stare out at the rising sun. How many of those have I missed with Charlie? What’s it going to be like having her here? I find myself wondering if I’m going to be a good dad to her, if I’m going to be able to take care of her the way she deserves. And this other baby. Is Tianna ever going to look at it like it’s mine? Ours? I can handle raising another man’s baby. I can overlook the fact it’s not mine. But can she?
The door opens and closes, and I glance over to see Kiki coming to stand next to me. She looks out at the sky and smiles.
“I haven’t been up this early in a long time to see the sunrise.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“It is. I think she’s trying, Remy. I’m not sure if she’s going to keep this baby.”
“She’s pretty said as much.”
“Are you going to be okay if she doesn’t?” she asks, looking up at me now.
“Honestly? I don’t know. I’m not one for takin’ a child’s life. That baby is growin’ inside her. It’s a person. A tiny human. What gives us the right to take away it’s life?”
“I understand, and I get where you’re coming from, but I also see her side. She’s hurting. She’s disgusted with what happened to her, and having to see that baby every day is going to be a reminder of what Brad did to her. She’s going to have to look at that every single day. Do you think she’s strong enough to do that?” I bring the cigarette to my lips and inhale.
“I understand that. I thought if we looked at the baby as mine, she would see it differently. I want her to see it differently.”
“I know you do but that’s going to be hard on her. Give her a little time to figure this out. Surely, it can’t be an easy decision for her.”
“I know it’s not. But she has me, and she doesn’t even see that.”
“She knows you’re there, Remy. She knows she has you,” Kiki says as she rests her hand on my arm. I throw my arm around her shoulder and pull her into my side as we watch the sunrise together.
I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to feel. I’m giving her every chance I possibly can.
I finish my cigarette and follow Kiki back inside. Tianna is no longer at the bar where we left her, and I assume she went back to bed. Instead of going to check, I walk over and talk to Gunner.
“Hodge told you, I assume.”
“Yeah, he did. We hittin’ it?”
“If that’s what you wanna do. There’s no tellin’ what we’re gonna find there, Remy. I don’t want you to get your hopes up.”
“I know, Prez. I’m not expectin’ anything out of this.”
“Good. That’s a good way to go in. The guys are all ready when you are.” I nod my head and walk over to the bar, grabbing a shot and taking it down. I don’t care if the sun just came up.
I turn on my heel and walk back down the bedroom, and when I step inside, I see her balled up under the covers. I shake my head and grab my shirt and my gun, stuffing it into the back of my jeans.
Walking over to the bed, I sit on the edge and rest my hand on her arm.
“I wish I could fix all this for you, Tianna. Just know I love you, baby. I love you.” She doesn’t answer, so I assume she’s asleep. I shove off the bed and walk back out the door and down to the main room to find the guys waiting on me. Kiki gives me a soft smile, and I nod in return.
“Let’s get there while it’s early. They won’t expect that,” Gunner declares. The guys nod their heads in agreement before we shuffle out the door and climb on our bikes. Hodge takes the van just in case we find anything. We always go prepared.
We take off out of the parking lot, and the cool wind hits my face. It’s a great feeling to have. It’s been a while since I’ve felt this kind of peace. Riding is a stress reliever for many of us. There’s just something about being a part of this machine that soothes the soul.
We take a turn and head down a few side roads before Gunner pulls to the side. We kill our engines as he climbs off, removing his helmet.
“We don’t want them to know we’re comin’. Third house down on the left. It’s a little isolated. Sits back off the road,” he tells us.
“We knockin’?” Locke asks. Gunner chuckles and shakes his head.
“No. They aren’t gonna let us motherfuckers in. We split half front, half back. Keep your eyes open. There could be children in there,” he reminds everyone. Yeah, my child could be in there. I suck air in through my nose and blow it slowly.
Then we move. We break into groups, half in front, half going around back, just like he ordered. I’m at the front with Gunner and a few others. He raises his hand and counts down to three before kicking the door open. A woman screams, but she’s quickly quieted when she sees the gun. We move in quickly through both sides, coming to meet in the middle.
“Upstairs, Remy,” Gunner tells me. I nod and motion for a few others to follow me. We make our way up the steps quickly but quietly. I motion for them to split off and we each take a room.
“Clear!” One calls out.
“Clear!” I call out.
“Remy,” I hear one of them yell for me. I quickly leave the room I’m in and go to where he is. When I walk in, my heart stops. Lying there, looking like an angel is a little girl. No. Not just any little girl. She’s mine.
“Check the rest of the house,” I croak. The guys move quickly, going to do what they were told as I lower my gun and stuff it into the back of my jeans. Those little brown eyes come to meet mine, and a toothy smile crosses her face. My heart nearly stops beating as I look at her.
“You must be Charlie.” She makes little noises, and I nearly lose my breath. Locke comes into the room and walks up next to me.
“That’s her. The lady downstairs told us,” he confirms. “Not like you didn’t already know. Damn, she looks like you, Remy.”
“She’s beautiful.”
“Yeah, she is. Can’t believe how much she looks like you, brother. Ain’t no denyin’ that’s yours,” he chuckles.
“I wouldn’t want to. What do I do?”
“Pick her up. Let’s get her back to her mom.” I glance over at him and nod my head, but I’ve never held a baby before. I suppose she isn’t a baby baby, she is almost two but she’s still so small.
I carefully reach in and lift her in my arms, cradling her against my chest. My heart beats rapidly inside me. There are so many emotions running through me right now that I can’t get them all straight.
Charlie rests her head on my shoulder, and I nearly lose it.
“I don’t know if this is okay,” I tell Locke. He chuckles and nods his head.
“You’re doin’ great. She knows who you are,” he assures me as we walk out of the room. We head back downstairs to where the woman is hysterically crying while Hodge stands there with a gun to her head. The woman looks up and I can see the regret, the pain in her eyes.
“You knew he took her?” I ask her. She nods her head. “Speak,” I demand.
“I knew she wasn’t his. He kept saying she was and that I needed to take care of her. I knew something was wrong when he would bring the mother over briefly, but you don’t go against a man like Brad.”
“How are you related?”
“I’m his cousin. His only cousin. We hadn’t spoken in years until he called and said he needed a favor.”
“You didn’t call the police. Why?”
“He threatened to kill my only daughter. So I did as he asked. I never hurt her,” she cries, nodding toward Charlie.
“What do you wanna do here, Remy?” Emotions clog my throat as I look at the woman. The plan was not to let anyone live who had a hand in taking Charlie. But for some reason, I believe her.
“Where’s your daughter?”
“She goes to college in another state.”
“I’m gonna get you protection until I find him. You go see your daughter.”
“What are you going to do to him?” she asks. I narrow my eyes at her and shake my head. She doesn’t want to know. Understanding sets in. “You’re … you’re not going to kill me?”
“That was the plan. To kill everyone who took my daughter from me. But you didn’t take her. You didn’t hurt her,” I explain as she shakes her head.
“I would never hurt Charlie. Ever!”
“I see that. You took good care of her, and for that, I thank you. Now go pack a bag because you’re leavin’.” Hodge lowers his gun, and the woman stands, rushing up the stairs with a prospect behind her.
“You’re lettin’ her go?” Gunner asks.
“She took care of her. She didn’t hurt her,” I remind him. He nods his head, a smile on his face.
“Good for you, Remy. She’s beautiful.” He nods toward Charlie.
“She is. Let’s get her home, yeah?” Everyone agrees, and we file out of the house. I’m down the street and climbing in the van with her still in my arms. When I look down, I see that she’s fallen asleep. My heart swells. Tears prickle the back of my eyes, but I blink them away. She’s okay. She’s coming home with me and her mom where she belongs.