Chapter 17
M cKenzie went through the motions of getting Jax changed into pajamas, reading him a story and nursing him one last time while ignoring the ache in her heart. How was it possible that this felt even worse than everything that’d happened with Eric?
Probably because Eric wished he could be half the person Duke was.
After she’d tucked in Jax and wished him the sweetest of dreams, she went to the living room and sat on the sofa, staring into the dark while trying to figure out what’d gone so wrong. She hadn’t noticed anything, but then again, she’d missed the signs with Eric, too. With hindsight, she’d realized there’d been clues she’d failed to pick up on, but she’d been so happy and so in love she hadn’t paid them enough attention.
Was she making the same mistake again? Was she failing to notice the signs?
“No, damn it. There were no signs. Everything was fine—better than fine—and then it wasn’t.”
When her eyes filled with tears, she closed them tightly, refusing to shed another tear over a man. She was done with that nonsense. Whatever had been developing with Duke wasn’t going to happen now, and she’d have to accept that and move on. There was no sense losing sleep—or tears—over a man who felt like he wasn’t good enough for her or whatever other nonsense he’d told himself.
McKenzie was still sitting in the dark, trying not to cry, fifteen minutes later, when a soft knock sounded at the door.
Her heart lurched. It would be him. Who else could it be? Had he come to tell her more about why she was too good for him or too young for him or whatever bullshit he’d cooked up since she came upstairs?
She took a deep breath for fortitude and released it before she got up to open the door.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey.”
“So… I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Sending mixed signals and being weird and, well… all of it. It’s… um, been a while since I was, you know, interested in someone this way.”
“And what way is that?”
“The, um, well… you know…”
Had he ever been cuter than when he was trying to tell her how he felt? Nope, but she refused to make this easy for him.
“I’m not sure that I do.”
The low growl that came from deep inside him almost made her laugh, but she wouldn’t do that to him when he was clearly suffering. He deserved to suffer a little. But not too much. “Would you like to come in?”
“Yeah, I would.”
McKenzie stepped back from the doorway to let him in and then returned to the sofa, curling her legs under her.
“Why are you sitting in the dark?”
“Because I felt like it.”
“Okay.” He sat on the edge of the sofa, as if he wasn’t sure he was truly welcome.
She turned on a lamp so she could see him and then blinked several times as her eyes adjusted to the sudden burst of light. “Have you come to tell me more reasons why you could never be right for me?”
“I… uh, no.”
“Then what?”
“I wanted to say I was sorry. I’m not even sure where all that came from in the truck just now. I think maybe I was a little… scared or something.”
“Scared of what?”
“Liking you so much.”
“Why would that be scary?”
“Um, well… It’s you, and you’re…”
“What am I?”
“You’re special. Very, very special.”
“So are you.”
“That is nice of you to say, but?—”
“No buts, Duke. It’s true. You’re a special person who’s become very important to me, and it hurts me to hear all the reasons why you think I’m too good for you. I’m not. Maybe I might turn out to be just right for you. Did that ever occur to you?”
“Ah, yes, it did, and I believe that might be why I behaved badly.”
She had to hold back the need to smile. “You didn’t behave badly.”
“Then why do I feel terrible about it?”
“I don’t know. Why do you suppose that is?”
“I think I hurt you, and that was certainly not my intention. That’s the last thing I’d ever want to do.”
“Do you hear yourself? Did you hear what you said about how hurting me is the last thing you’d ever want to do?”
His brows furrowed in confusion. “What about it?”
“That, right there, is what makes you special, Duke, and you can’t even see it. Most of the guys I’ve met, and most of the ones my friends have met, don’t care whether they hurt us. They want whatever they can get from us without a single thought about anyone getting hurt. You care. That makes you different.”
“I don’t want you putting me on any kind of pedestal. I’ve lived a rough-around-the-edges kind of life. I’m not even sure I know how to do…” He rolled his hand to gesture between them. “This.”
McKenzie’s heart was fully engaged as she moved closer to him.
Duke seemed to stop breathing altogether while he waited to see what she might do.
“I think you know exactly how to do this.”
He shook his head.
“Yes,” she said softly as she placed her hand on his face.
She held back a gasp when he pressed a kiss to her palm.
“You could do better.”
“No, I couldn’t, so shut up with that.” She applied gentle pressure to his face, encouraging him to look at her.
When his gaze collided with hers, she could see how much he cared, how badly he wanted her and how worried he still was about making a mistake that would hurt her.
She saw things she’d never seen in the eyes of any other man, which had her leaning in to press her lips to his.
For a hot second, she didn’t think he’d kiss her back.
But then his hand encircled her neck and his lips moved against hers and everything went quiet and still, as if the whole world had paused in honor of this moment. She was kissing Duke, and he was kissing her back, and it was the best thing ever .
For the longest time, the kiss was nothing more than lips sliding over lips, but somehow, that was everything she hadn’t known she needed.
“McKenzie…”
“Yes?”
“You’re really sure about this?”
She moved quickly, before he could talk himself out of it, straddling his lap and putting her arms around his neck as she kissed him again. “I’m sure.”
“Jeez. Are you trying to give me a stroke or something?”
“Not at all,” she said, laughing. “I’m just trying to get you out of your own way.”
“I’m trying to be respectful of you. And Rosemary.”
“You’ve been nothing but respectful, but now it’s time to be a little less… proper.”
He sputtered with outrage. “I’m not proper.”
“You’re like an old cross-stitching church lady.”
“Are you trying to piss me off?”
“Is it working?”
“Nah, takes more than that.”
Smiling, she said, “I like you, Duke. I really, really like you.”
“It’s your funeral.”
McKenzie laughed. “Drama queen.”
“What’s a sexy woman like you want with a guy like me?”
“Everything. I want everything with you.”
He placed his hand on her forehead. “You running a fever or something?”
She swatted his hand away. “I’m perfectly healthy.”
“Then you’ve lost your marbles.”
“Nope. All my marbles are perfectly fine.”
“Did you see the way those fire department guys and Coasties were looking at you earlier?”
“What? No.”
“They were checking you out.”
“Is that why you got so weird on the way home? Because you think I belong with one of them?”
“It would make far more sense than this does.”
“I don’t even know them.”
“You barely know me.”
“That’s not true. You’ve shown me your heart from the first time you arrived at Tiffany’s with the things you rescued from the cabin, and then again when you brought Mr. Bear and offered us a place to stay. You’ve shown me every time I’ve seen you or talked to you since then, and guess what?”
“What?”
“I like what I see.” After a pause, she added, “I’ve had my share of boyfriends.”
He frowned. “I’m sure you have.”
She dropped her forehead to rest against his. “You know what I’m ready for now?”
His muffled grunt served as his reply.
“I want a man , Duke. I want someone who knows how to treat a woman, who takes care of the people he cares about, who steps up for a stranger because he wants to, not because she can do something for him. I want a grown-ass adult man, and if you think any of those guys who were supposedly checking me out earlier would do the trick, you’re dead wrong. I promise you most of them are probably more of the same.”
“How do you know I won’t turn out to be, too?”
“I don’t know for sure, but the other thing Rosemary taught me that I’ve never forgotten is that when someone shows you who they really are, you should believe them. You’ve already shown me who you really are. I believe you.” She kissed him. “I believe you, Duke.”
His arms tightened around her as he stared at her intently. “I can’t believe you’re here with me like this.”
“Why not? And do not say I could have anyone.”
“Okay, I won’t say that.”
“Now we’re getting somewhere.”
Duke couldn’t believe the series of events that’d brought McKenzie to his lap with her arms wrapped around his neck and her tongue rubbing against his in the sweetest, hottest, sexiest kiss of his whole damned life.
He still felt guilty for doing this with Rosemary’s precious granddaughter, but he had to hope she’d approve. She’d loved him as much as he’d loved her. Had she loved him enough to want him making out passionately with her granddaughter?
He’d never know.
He could only hope so.
His head was spinning, and he was hard as stone by the time she pulled back to look at him, smiling as if she saw something she liked.
He still couldn’t believe that was possible.
She twirled a length of his hair around her finger.
“Do you hate my long hair?”
“Not at all. It’s part of who you are.” She leaned in to kiss the side of his neck. “Just like your beautiful ink is.”
He shivered from an almost painful need for more. “You’re driving me crazy, but of course, you know that.”
“Do I?”
Duke could barely speak or breathe or think for wanting her. “I’ve got to tell you something.”
She continued to kiss his neck, making a red-hot mess of him. “What’s that?”
“Remember when I told you about that fiancée I had for a second?”
“What about her?”
“I never once felt like this when I was with her.”
“Like what?”
“Like I might die if you ever stop kissing me.”