14. Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fourteen
CLARE
I didn’t know why I’d come home. I’d heard Blakeny mentioned, panicked, and then made a show of being independent when what I really wanted to do was snuggle up with Daddy in our blanket fort and let him look after me.
Then I’d made him leave me here when I didn’t really want to be alone.
I stared at my apartment door after Maddox left, already feeling the emptiness echoing around me. He'd checked every room, window, and closet before reluctantly agreeing to leave —but only after I promised to keep my phone on and call him immediately if anything seemed off.
The silence pressed in on me as I wandered through my apartment. It felt smaller somehow, less safe than it had before. I found myself checking the locks twice, then three times before I could relax even slightly.
My phone buzzed with a text from Maddox: "Call me if you need anything, princess. No matter what time."
I smiled despite myself, my thumb hovering over the reply button. What would I even say? 'I miss you already'? 'I made a mistake'? 'I'm scared'?
Instead, I typed: "Thank you. I will."
Short. Safe. Distant. I didn’t need a Daddy. I didn’t.
But I rushed to the tin for my popsie, and I even rinsed it in the sink then stared at it for ten minutes like it would bite me.
I tried to distract myself by turning on the TV, but nothing held my interest. My gaze kept drifting to the gray bear Maddox had insisted I bring home with me. I’d named him Henry. Henry sat on my coffee table, its button eyes seeming to stare at me accusingly.
"What?" I said aloud to the bear. "I can take care of myself."
But even as I said it, I knew it wasn't entirely true. I'd been doing a poor job of taking care of myself since my rescue. Going through the motions, yes, but not really living. Look at what had happened at the club.
I stared again at my phone and wondered if I should call Anna. She’d told me to anytime. Before I second guessed myself, I pressed her saved contact and waited to see if she picked up.
After three rings, Anna answered. "Clare? Is everything alright?"
I hesitated, unsure where to begin. "I don't know," I admitted. "I’m sorry to call you again. I had a nice time with D—Maddox."
"That sounds positive," Anna said encouragingly not calling me out on my slip. "What happened?"
I sighed, sinking deeper into my couch. "I let myself be Little with him. He was patient and he made me feel good, Anna. I felt safe in a way I haven't felt in...well, since before Blakeny."
"So what's troubling you?" Anna asked gently.
"I found out Blakeny is back in the country, and I panicked. I insisted on coming home, even though part of me wanted to stay." I glanced at the bear again. "And now I'm here, and I feel... I don't know. Lost?"
Anna was quiet for a moment. "Clare, it's natural to have conflicting feelings. You've been relying only on yourself because it felt safer that way. Letting someone else in, especially in the context of a Daddy/Little relationship, is a big step."
"But what if I'm making a mistake?" I whispered. "What if I'm setting myself up to be hurt again?"
"That's always a risk in any relationship," Anna replied. She paused. “Was it Maddox that told you Blakeny was back in the country?”
“Yes, but he was asking me some odd questions,” and I told Anna about the evil king and the other princesses, and that I didn’t remember saying any of it.
"Clare, I think you might be experiencing some dissociation," Anna said carefully.
“Diss—” The word sounded wrong.
“You may recognize the informal term disassociation,”Anna continued, “but that’s not important. What you’re feeling is not uncommon in trauma survivors. When your Little side emerges, you may access memories that your adult self has walled off for protection."
I swallowed hard. "You mean...those things I supposedly said might be real?"
"It’s possible," Anna replied gently. "The mind has powerful defense mechanisms. Sometimes traumatic memories can only be accessed in certain states."
I felt sick. If what I'd told Maddox was true, then other girls had been held captive, possibly still were. And I couldn't even remember them.
"What should I do?" I whispered.
"I think you should consider whether you feel safer with Maddox right now, especially knowing Blakeny is back in the country," Anna said. "And perhaps we should schedule an extra session this week to work through some of this."
“But I don’t want to be Little if I’m remembering things like this,” I whispered. But then, I wanted Blakeny out of my life for good.
Anna seemed to consider this. “I didn’t mention this before but what if you become your Little with me in a safe environment? Then we can talk through everything, including what you experienced.”
“I don’t know. Where?”
“Either in my office or somewhere you feel safe.”
I immediately thought of the playroom at Daddy’s. Then I realized I’d called him Daddy again in my head. “Daddy’s playroom,” I whispered.
To give Anna credit she immediately worked out what I meant. “And do you need Daddy there?”
I nodded vigorously, then realized I needed to use my words. “Yes please, because Daddy makes the best hot chocolate.”
“Yum,” Anna said appreciatively, and I laughed for the first time in a while. “Then I’ll call him and set things up.”
After talking with Anna for a few more minutes, I hung up, feeling nervous but hopeful. I glanced at the bear again, then picked him up, hugging him to my chest.
"What do you think I should do?" I asked him softly.
I stared at my phone, willing myself to text Maddox. To tell him I'd made a mistake, that I wanted to come back. But something held me back—should I wait until Anna had contacted him? He must be getting whiplash with my moods.
I jumped at the sudden knock on my door, clutching the bear tighter. My heart pounded as I approached the peephole, then relaxed when I saw Tammy standing there. She was on my approved list so the doorman didn’t have to call.
"Clare? It's me," she called through the door.
I hesitated before unlocking it. After what happened at the club, I wasn't sure I wanted to see her. But maybe this was a chance to clear the air.
"Hey," I said, opening the door just enough to see her.
Tammy looked uncomfortable, shifting from foot to foot. "Can I come in? I want to apologize."
I stepped back, letting her inside. "For telling those women about me?"
"Yes," she said quickly. "I never should have shared that. It wasn't my story to tell."
I crossed my arms, the bear still clutched in one hand. "Then why did you?"
Tammy sighed. "Honestly? I was trying to explain why you seemed so withdrawn. Nicola kept pushing about why you weren't dating, saying you needed to 'get back out there.' I wanted her to understand it wasn't that simple."
"So you told her I was kidnapped and held prisoner for months?" My voice was sharper than I intended.
"I didn't give details," Tammy said defensively. "Just that you'd been through something traumatic. But you're right—it wasn't my place. I'm really sorry, Clare."
I knew she was lying. Nicola had made it clear she knew more than “something traumatic.”
“Anyway,” Tammy brightened a little. “We’re all thinking of going to Kingdom next weekend for Missy’s birthday, and we’d love you to come.”
I gazed at her. I had no intention of going but I could pretend to get the details and cry off. “What day?”
“Friday the 11 th .”
“Friday will be busy at the club,” I said slowly. “Have you got tickets for a booth?” If they hadn’t, they’d spend half the night waiting in line outside.
Tammy flushed a little. “Well, no, we were actually wondering if you could help with that. I told Missy I’d ask you.”
My lips parted in astonishment, but no sound came out. She wasn’t here to apologize at all. She was here because they thought I could get them VIP entry at Kingdom.
This wasn't about making amends—this was about using me.
"Let me get this straight," I said slowly. "You shared private information about my trauma with people I barely know, and now you're here because you think I can get you VIP treatment at Kingdom?"
Tammy had the grace to look embarrassed. "It's not like that, Clare. I really am sorry about what happened. The club thing is separate."
"Is it?" I asked, my voice hardening. "Because it feels like you're only here because you want something from me."
"That's not fair," Tammy protested. "We've been friends since school."
"Have we?" I challenged. "Because friends don't do what you did. And they certainly don't show up with fake apologies as a pretext to ask for favors."
I moved toward the door, suddenly eager for her to leave. "I think you should go." I would definitely remove her from the approved visitor list, which meant if she ever came again security would have to ask me if she was allowed up.
Tammy stared at me, her expression shifting from embarrassment to annoyance. "Wow. You've really changed, Clare. You used to be fun before all this...stuff happened."
Her words hit like a slap. Before I could respond, she continued.
"And what's with the teddy bear? Are you, like, regressing or something?"
I clutched Henry tighter, fury rising in me. "Get out," I said, my voice deadly quiet. "Now."
Tammy huffed and turned on an indignant heel. I slammed the door, but it wasn’t satisfying. By the time I reached my bedroom, my throat felt tight and my eyes stung. I nearly ran to the tin to get my popsie clutching it into my fist not daring to put it between my lips like I wanted, wedging myself in between the bed and the wall. I was going to stay there forever.
In my head I wanted a story. No, I wanted Daddy to tell me a story. No, I just wanted Daddy.
MADDOX
I couldn't focus. I'd been staring at the same security footage for over an hour, trying to track Blakeny's movements since he'd arrived in Orlando, but my mind kept drifting back to Clare. Had I made a mistake letting her go back to her apartment? Should I have insisted she stay with me?
"You're going to wear a hole in the floor," Dion commented, watching me pace across the office for the tenth time.
I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. "I just don't like her being alone when Blakeny's somewhere in the state."
"Eric has eyes on her building," Dion reminded me. "And we've got someone watching. If anything seems off, we'll know immediately."
I nodded, but it didn't ease the knot in my stomach. "I should call her."
"She’s had a friend come over," Dion pointed out.
I knew he was right, but it didn't make it any easier. Tammy had been there for like a minute. I'd only known Clare for a short time, yet she'd become incredibly important to me. The way she'd opened up today, allowed herself to be little with me—it had touched something deep inside me.
My phone rang, and I nearly lunged for it. But it wasn't Clare; it was Eric.
"Got something," he said. "Blakeny is on the move. He checked into the Orlando Excel downtown. Traveling under the name James Black, but facial recognition confirmed it's him. He's made several calls since arriving and in none of them did he try to hide who he is."
I felt a surge of adrenaline. "Any idea who he's calling?"
"Working on it," Eric replied. "One number belongs to his lawyer in New York. The others are burners. But here's the interesting part—he's scheduled a flight to Tampa tomorrow morning."
Tampa. That was too close to Clare for comfort.
“He’s just made another call to his driver to collect him immediately. I have eyes and ears on him. Want me to follow?”
“Absolutely,” I said and hung up. Dion was already relaying what Eric had found out to Gideon.
Thirty minutes later it looked like Blakeny was going shopping. Except he’d only driven to one store—Bits and Little Pieces. It was a high-end kink store. The regular BDSM party stuff, nothing specialized like whips, but they had an area where specially made adult-sized Little clothes, pacifiers, diapers, and onesies could be bought.
My fingers curled tightly, and it was only when the pain from my nails digging in registered that I took a lungful of oxygen. “Keep lots of eyes on him,” I ordered and stood up. I needed to see Clare.
My phone rang again with a number I didn’t recognize. What did surprise me was that it was Anna, Clare’s therapist. "Anna," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "Is everything alright?"
"Clare contacted me," Anna explained. "She's struggling with the news about Blakeny being back in the country."
I closed my eyes, guilt washing over me. "I should have handled that better. I didn't want her to find out that way."
"What's done is done," Anna said pragmatically. "What matters now is supporting Clare. She's expressed interest in exploring her Little side in a therapeutic context, to see if we can access more of the memories she's blocked."
My heart rate picked up. "She wants to do that?"
"Yes, and she specifically mentioned your playroom as a place she'd feel safe doing this. With you present."
Relief flooded through me. "Of course. Whenever you both want to do this, my home is open."
"I’m free today after my afternoon appointments, around four thirty, if that works for you? I would have suggested tomorrow, but I think Clare will just fret all night about this."
"I'll make it work," I assured her. "Does Clare want me to pick her up?"
There was a brief pause. "She didn't specify. Why don't you text her and ask?"
After ending the call with Anna, I immediately texted Clare: "Anna called about meeting today. Would you like me to pick you up, princess?"
I waited anxiously for her response, which came several minutes later: "Yes please, Daddy."
Those three simple words sent a wave of warmth through me.