15. Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Fifteen
CLARE
I was still hiding in my little nest between the bed and the wall when my phone buzzed with Daddy's text. Reading his words made me feel warm inside, and I hugged Henry closer as I typed my reply.
A wave of relief washed over me when he responded immediately: "I'll be there in 30 minutes, princess. Pack anything you want to bring with you."
I scrambled out from my hiding place, suddenly energized. What should I bring? I looked around my bedroom, my eyes landing on my empty shelves and a wave of sadness rushed through me at all I’d thrown away. I turned to my closet. Maybe some comfy clothes? I wasn't sure how long I'd be staying. I was torn on what to bring and indecision made me pause.
I tried not to think too hard about what was coming and flitted from drawer to drawer trying to make a decision. I stood in my closet a couple of times, then went to the bathroom to grab my things from in there. The idea of deliberately trying to access my Little side to remember traumatic events was terrifying. But if it could help catch Blakeny and whoever else was involved, wasn't that worth it?
I jumped when my phone rang—it was the building security desk.
"Miss Warner, there's a Mr. Rourke here to see you."
Already? I’d been daydreaming and not packed anything. Suddenly realizing I still had my popsie in my hand, I tugged it out, tossing it by the sink. "You can send him up," I said quickly, my heart fluttering. Daddy was here. I needed to put him on the allowed list.
I opened my door before he could knock, and the moment I saw him standing there, strong and solid, something in me crumbled. Without thinking, I threw myself into his arms.
"Daddy," I whispered, burying my face against his chest.
His arms came around me instantly, holding me close. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I panicked. I don’t want to be here. I want to take Mr. Snuffles and Henry”—the bear—“and eat dunked sandwiches when it’s raining,” I finished breathlessly.
I felt the tension bleed out of Daddy’s arms and snuggled tighter, knowing I’d made him happy.
“It sounds perfect, princess,” and he bent his head to brush his lips on my head. I half-wished he’d caught my lips but maybe I would think about that later.
Maddox lifted me easily, carrying me back into my apartment and kicking the door closed behind us. "Where's your bag, princess? Let's get you and your friends packed up."
"In my bedroom," I murmured, resting my head against his shoulder. I felt myself sinking deeper into my Little space, the stress of the day melting away now that Daddy was here to take care of me.
He carried me to my bedroom, where my half-packed bag lay open on the bed with Mr. Snuggles. "Is this everything you want to bring?" he asked, surveying the toiletries. No clothes.
I paused. " Clothes, and my special blanket. It's in the closet." I pointed to where I kept the soft purple throw that had been my comfort item since my rescue.
Daddy set me down gently on the bed and retrieved the blanket, carefully adding it to my bag. Then he opened the dresser drawers and pulled out some stuff, but I wasn’t concentrating. In my head I had something else by the kitchen sink. Something important. "Anything else, princess? Your toothbrush? Hairbrush?"
I stared at him, desperate for him to say it so I wouldn’t have to, and I swallowed the sudden lump in my throat. His eyes narrowed and he looked around the empty room. “Anything else?”
I shook my head, but I changed it to a nod.
He looked around again. “In here?”
I shook my head quite violently, and he walked into my living room. It was just about empty. He walked into the kitchen and I knew he’d seen it when he stopped and slowly turned. “Your binkie?”
“It’s a popsie,” I said indignantly, forgetting any embarrassment.
“Of course,” he said like it was no big deal, and slipped it in his pocket. He checked the rest of the apartment, his calm efficiency made me feel protected, cared for. When everything was packed, he zipped up the bag and slung it over his shoulder.
"Ready to go home with Daddy?" he asked softly.
Home. The word sent a flutter through my chest. "Yes, please," I whispered.
When Daddy called his place "home," I felt a warm, happy feeling spreading inside me. As he carried my bag and kept his arm protectively around my shoulders, I couldn't help but feel safe, even though I felt a little smaller and more fragile today. I knew I was slipping into my Little space again.
"Did you eat lunch, princess?" Daddy asked gently as we walked down to the car.
I shook my head, looking up into his eyes. "No, Daddy. Tammy came and she was mean, and I forgot."
I saw Daddy's face tighten a bit when I mentioned Tammy. "Mean? What did she say?"
My lip quivered a bit, remembering. "She pretended to say sorry, but she just wanted me to get her VIP tickets to Kingdom. And she said I changed and wasn't fun anymore. And she made fun of Henry."
Daddy's jaw tightened, but his voice stayed soft and kind. "That wasn't very nice of her, was it? Well, Daddy thinks you're wonderful just the way you are. And Henry is a very handsome bear."
I smiled up at him, holding Henry close. "Thank you, Daddy."
Once we were in the car, Daddy made sure my seatbelt was nice and snug before we started driving home. I watched the world go by outside the window, feeling quieter than usual.
"What's on your mind, princess?" Daddy asked, his voice soft.
I played with Henry's ear, feeling a little worried. "I'm scared about seeing Anna later."
Daddy reached over and took my hand and placed it on his lap, and then he ordered Siri to play Clare’s playlist . I giggled when Let it Go came on from my favorite movie.
We were home in no time and Daddy got me settled with just some snacks because my belly felt too tight to eat much. I had both Mr. Snuggles and Henry, but what Tammy had said about me holding the bear had upset me, and took my attention from the music. It was like she’d spoiled something I took comfort in. What would I ever do if I decided to go back to college?”
“Can I help?” I glanced up at Daddy. “We don’t have to do this—” But I shook my head. It wasn’t that. Well, not just.
“What if I want to go back to school to paint? I can’t take Henry.” I hadn’t needed to before, but now everything was different.
Daddy smiled and put his hand in his pocket and brought out a silver chain. I stared as he held it up, because dangling on it was a small silver teddy. “How about you wear this teddy under your clothes as a secret? Nobody ever has to see him, but you’ll know he’s there and will keep you safe.”
“He’s adorable,” I whispered as Daddy fastened him around my neck. Daddy looked really pleased.
In no time, Anna had arrived and explained what was going to happen.
"So, we'll start by making you feel comfortable and safe," Anna explained, sitting across from me in the lounge. "I want you to understand that you're in control the entire time. If you want to stop, we stop immediately."
I nodded, clutching Henry and Mr. Snuggles to my chest. Daddy sat beside me, his presence reassuring.
"Once you're feeling settled in your Little space, I'll ask you some gentle questions about your time with Jeremy," Anna continued. "You don't have to answer anything that feels too scary or overwhelming."
"Will I remember everything afterward?" I asked in a small voice.
Anna considered this. "That depends. Sometimes the mind continues to protect itself by compartmentalizing difficult memories. But we can work on integrating those experiences gradually, at whatever pace feels safe for you."
Daddy's hand found mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'll be right here the whole time, princess," he promised.
Anna smiled warmly. "Why don't we move to the playroom? Maddox tells me it's a space you feel comfortable in."
Daddy led us to the playroom, which he'd prepared before Anna arrived. Soft blankets were spread on the floor, surrounded by pillows. Gentle music played in the background.
I settled down on the cushions and clutched my bears as Anna started talking.
Daddy positioned himself nearby—close enough that I could reach for him if I needed to, but giving Anna and me space to talk.
"Clare," Anna began gently, "I want you to take some deep breaths with me. In through your nose, out through your mouth."
I followed her lead, breathing slowly. With each exhale, I felt myself relaxing deeper into the cushions.
"That's it," Anna encouraged. "Now, I want you to look around this room. What do you see that makes you feel safe?"
My eyes drifted around the playroom. "The colors," I murmured. "They're bright and happy. And my stuffies. And..." I glanced at Maddox, "Daddy."
Anna smiled warmly. "Good. Whenever you feel scared or uncomfortable, I want you to focus on those safe things, okay?" I nodded.
“Tell me what you like to do in here,” she prompted.
“Color,” I mumbled. “I want to paint real soon.” I knew I did. “Daddy reads stories.” I felt myself slip further into my Little headspace. The world seemed softer around the edges, simpler somehow.
"Now, Clare," Anna said softly, "can you tell me about the house where Jeremy kept you?"
I tensed immediately, clutching Henry tighter. Daddy made a small movement as if to come closer, but Anna held up a hand, giving me space to respond.
"It was big," I whispered. "Cold. The windows were always covered."
“So, nothing like this playroom?” Anna asked me. I shook my head almost violently.
“So there’s nothing in this space that makes you afraid?” she pushed.
“No,” I whispered, and my heart settled. This was different. I could be me in here.
"Good," Anna said softly. "Now, can you tell me about the other people in that house? Did you ever see anyone besides Jeremy?"
I frowned, trying to remember. "There were guards sometimes. They didn't talk to me."
"Were there other Little girls there?" Anna asked gently.
I nodded slowly. "In the beginning. I saw them at...at mealtimes." My voice became smaller. "Then they started disappearing."
"Disappearing?" Anna prompted.
"If they were bad, they went to the naughty room," I whispered, clutching Henry tighter. "And then they were gone."
I saw Daddy tense from the corner of my eye, but he remained silent, letting Anna guide the conversation.
"Can you tell me about the naughty room?" Anna asked.
I shook my head violently. "Don't wanna."
"That's okay," Anna assured me quickly. "You don't have to talk about anything that feels too scary."
I relaxed slightly, my breathing evening out again.
"Clare," Anna continued after a moment, "you mentioned an 'evil king' to your Daddy. Can you tell me about him?"
I stared at my hands, feeling a strange mixture of fear and confusion. "The king watches," I whispered. "Through the magic mirrors."
"Magic mirrors?" Anna asked gently.
I nodded. "In the walls. In the ceilings. Everywhere. Jeremy said the king likes to watch his princesses."
"Did you ever see this king?" Anna prompted.
I shook my head. "No. But Jeremy talked to him sometimes. On the phone."
I noticed Daddy and Anna exchange a quick glance.
"The king picks his favorite princesses," I continued, my voice dropping even quieter. "If you're good enough, you get to go to his castle. But..." I trailed off, a chill running through me.
"But what, sweetheart?" Anna encouraged.
"Nobody ever came back from the castle," I whispered. "I think...I think they go away forever."
My breathing quickened, and I felt myself starting to panic. Daddy moved closer immediately, his presence warm and solid beside me.
"You're safe now, princess," he murmured, his hand gently stroking my back. "You're with Daddy. Nothing can hurt you here."
I leaned into his touch, drawing comfort from his presence. Anna waited patiently until my breathing steadied again.
"Clare," Anna said carefully, "do you know where this castle might be?"
I frowned, concentrating hard. "Jeremy said it was far away. Somewhere with desert, scrub, hot. And huge cities." I closed my eyes, struggling to remember. "He showed me pictures once. Said if I was very, very good, I might get to go there."
"Do you remember anything else about those pictures?" Anna asked gently.
I shook my head, then paused. "There was a big lake. Blue like the sky."
Daddy shifted slightly beside me, and I could feel the tension in his body, though his hand remained gentle on my back.
"Did Jeremy ever mention a name for this place?" Anna pressed.
I frowned, concentrating hard. "A...a bird name, I think. Eagle something?"
Anna nodded, making a note on her pad. "You're doing so well, Clare. I'm very proud of you."
I beamed at her praise, then looked up at Daddy for his approval too. He smiled warmly at me, brushing a strand of hair from my face. "My brave, smart princess," he murmured.
"Can you tell me about the last time you saw the other girls?" Anna asked after a moment.
The smile faded from my face. "There was a party," I whispered. "Jeremy made us all dress up in special clothes. He said important people were coming."
"What kind of important people?" Anna prompted.
"Men in suits. They had.…they had numbers.”
I said slowly, my brow furrowing as I tried to remember. "Not names. Numbers."
"Numbers instead of names?" Anna asked gently.
I nodded, clutching Henry tighter. "Jeremy called them 'One' and 'Three' and...and other numbers. They looked at us like...like we were things to buy." I shuddered at the memory.
"Did you see what happened to the other girls after that party?" Anna's voice remained calm, but I could see the concern in her eyes.
"They were gone the next day," I whispered. "All of them. Jeremy said they went to serve the king. But I was special." My voice dropped even lower. "He said I was too precious to share."
I felt Daddy's hand tighten slightly on my shoulder before relaxing again.
"Clare," Anna said carefully, "do you remember how many other girls there were?"
I closed my eyes, trying to count in my head. "Seven," I finally said. "Seven others at the party. But there had been more before. They kept...disappearing."
Anna nodded, making another note. "You're doing so well, sweetheart. Can you tell me about that bear you’re holding? What’s his name?"