Chapter 8 #2
“I know, baby boy,” I say with a sigh. And I do. He can’t change the past any more than I can.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I hope one day you can forgive me, even if you don’t want to be with me anymore.”
The thought of that alone makes my stomach revolt. “I forgive you. I just want to take the time to make sure this is what I really want. You deserve that, and so do the kids.”
He nods, then buries his face in my shoulder, hiding from me.
I scoop him up, holding him in my lap. The weight of him is solid and warm.
He’s home. Arlo Montgomery is my home, and I’m so goddamn in love with him that I already know I’m not going to want to live without him.
Even if things look different from how I thought they would.
When I wake up in the morning, Arlo is tangled in my arms, and for the first time in over a week, every single thing in my life feels right. He’s already awake, his fingers drawing patterns on my chest.
I tilt my head, burying my face in his hair, and he shifts, moving until his eyes find mine. He still looks afraid, and I’m nervous too, but I’m also ready. I’m ready for whatever comes next.
Sighing, I brush my fingers down his cheek. “You’re right.”
Questions fill his eyes. “The kids do change things,” I clarify, rushing on when pain contorts his face. “But really… only as much as you want them to change. I know it’ll be an adjustment. For you and for them. But I want to support you in any way I can.”
Arlo sits up, his gaze searching my face. “Yeah? What does that mean?”
Living without Arlo isn’t an option for me, and living without the kids isn’t an option for Arlo. I want him, and I want them. My heart flutters. Maybe I want them more than I even realized. “I guess it means Arlo, party of three. Us, party of four. If you’d like that, of course.”
His mouth falls open. “You want to…”
“Maybe things will look different from what I originally thought. But… yeah, Arlo. I want you. And you have kids. Which means I want them too. I know it won’t be easy.
I know we’ll have to take things slow, and I’ll need to meet them eventually.
When you’re comfortable with that and I’ve built trust with—”
My words cut off with an oomph as Arlo climbs over me, pressing his whole body flush against me and slamming his mouth down on mine.
I grip his hips on instinct, holding him close to me. His kisses are frantic and desperate, so I slow us down—slow him down. “Easy, baby boy. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” I whisper against his lips before kissing him again.
Whimpering into my mouth, he follows my lead, slowing our kisses to something sweeter and deeper.
God, I’ve missed him so much.
Finally, I break the kiss, cupping his face. “I want this, Arlo. You call the shots. Just let me know what you need me to do.”
“That easy?”
I let out a small laugh. “No. I don’t imagine any of this will be easy, especially not for you, but I want to be here. In whatever way you’ll have me.”
Arlo eyes me. “You’re serious.”
“I’m incredibly serious. I love you, baby boy.
Without conditions. I wish I would have known.
We could have avoided a lot of pain and heartache.
I could have been helping you from the start.
We could have been happy and together.” My words come out in a choked whisper, and he hangs his head, so I tilt his chin up.
“But I know now. And I’ve decided I’m going to be here no matter what. ”
He nods. “Okay.” Relief washes over me. “I love you too. I’m sorry about before. I just—” His eyes well with tears.
“Hey,” I murmur, dusting his cheekbones with my thumbs. “It’s alright. We’ll figure it out, okay?”
Leaning forward, he rests his forehead against mine. “Okay.”
“From now on, though, we need honesty. I can’t keep doing this. It’s killing me.”
He blows out a shaky breath. “I’ll do better, I promise.”
“Will you spend the day with me? I missed you so much. Everything’s still a little raw and achy.”
Arlo whimpers, and the sound makes my throat close up.
“Yes, please. But I have to go home tonight. I rented a new place, and I have to get it ready for the home visit. It’s in a couple of days.”
I wrap my arms around him. “Do you need my help with anything?”
He starts to shake his head and then stops. “I’ve got their beds set up and their rooms ready, but… The caseworker mentioned needing to do, like, safety checks or something. Do you think you could help me with that first? So I can make sure it’s all up to par.”
“I already told you, Arlo, I’ll do anything for you. Of course I’ll come check it out. Where have you been staying?”
“Those studios over on Elm Street.”
“And now?”
“I rented that house across from the McMurray place.”
That surprises me. “You know where the old McMurray place is?”
He nods. “Yeah, Luca took me by there when he was buying his car. Said he and Austin used to camp there when they were younger.”
I scoff. “They shouldn’t have. That man’s a dickhead.”
Arlo giggles, and my heart slams against my rib cage. “Is he?”
“He is.” I run my fingertips down Arlo’s spine, smiling when he shivers. “A real mean old bastard. I don’t know how he’s still kicking.”
Sighing, Arlo sinks into my body. “Can we spend the day in bed?”
Without a word, I cup the back of his head and tuck his face into my throat, letting my fingers toy with the strands of his hair.
After a week of heartache and questions and missing him, I’m so fucking happy to have him back in my arms and in my bed. One day, I hope he’ll never have to leave. That he’ll want to have me in his and the kids’ lives. That he’ll want to bring them here and stay with me.
I wonder if they like to swim. I have room out back for a pool and a trampoline. Although trampolines are dangerous, and I’d rather not have one. I’ve seen too many injuries. So maybe just a pool.
“Do Salem and Nora like to swim?” I hear myself asking.
Arlo hums. “Yeah, a lot. When I first got my license and could afford it, I used to take them to the community pool in town. They really loved it.”
Definitely putting a pool in the backyard.