Chapter 19
Arlo
Jasper and I have just eaten breakfast—eggs on toast, my favorite—when Austin and Luca walk in the front door.
Nerves shoot through me. I’m not sure why. Well, okay, I’m a little sure why, and it doesn’t help anything that Luca is glaring at me from the doorway. It only lasts for a second before his features soften, but it doesn’t make me feel any better.
“Are you okay?” he asks, eyes searching my face.
I nod, all my words stuck in my throat.
He glances between Austin and Jasper. “I’m sure the two of you can find something to do. Something that isn’t being here, so I can talk to my best friend. Alone.”
Jasper frowns. “But I—”
“It’s okay,” I say. “I’m alright.”
Nodding, Jasper sighs. “Okay. I can… Oh. I can go get you some clothes.”
I smile. “Sounds good. I wear—”
“I know your size, baby boy.”
We both go still at those words. Which is stupid because Austin and Luca both already know.
“Okay,” I say slowly. “Please don’t go overboard.”
Shooting me an unbothered grin, Jasper shrugs. “Don’t tell me what to do. If I want to spoil you a little bit, I’m going to.”
I roll my eyes with a huff. Annoying as hell sometimes. “Alright, fine.”
Austin and Luca keep looking between Jasper and me and then at each other.
As long as I’ve known them, they’ve spoken in this almost completely silent language.
I always thought it was adorable. What would it be like to know someone so well that you know what they’re thinking by the quirk of their brow or the tilt of their lips?
Jasper makes eye contact with me. I nod to let him know I’m really okay, and it hits me like a bolt of lightning that we do that. All it took was a single look, and I knew he wanted to make sure I was okay.
Making his way across the room to me, he catches my chin gently in his hand and tilts my head back. A heartbeat later, his warm lips are on mine.
I sigh, kissing him back.
“Whoa,” Luca breathes. “I knew, right? But there’s knowing, and then there’s knowing.”
“Right?” Austin whispers.
My smile interrupts our kiss, and I pull back. “You know we can hear you, right?”
“Wasn’t trying to keep it a secret,” Luca says. “Unlike you.”
Ouch. Okay. I guess I deserved that.
“I’ll be back, baby boy.” Turning away from me, Jasper glances at Austin. “You wanna ride with me to Graymont?”
Austin snorts. “As if I’m missing out on the chance to grill you. Let’s go.”
Giving Luca a quick kiss, Austin follows Jasper out of the house, pulling the door shut behind him.
My stomach does a nervous flip when I’m alone with Luca.
For a second, we just look at each other. He nibbles his bottom lip, then cocks his head. “You’re really okay?” he finally asks after a few seconds of tense silence.
“I’m really okay.”
He walks across the living room slowly, then sits down beside me on the couch. Kicking his shoes off, he pulls his feet under him and turns to face me fully.
“Spill.”
My eyes widen. “What do you want to know?”
“Why did you have children’s bedrooms set up in your house?”
I sigh. “Because I was days away from getting custody of my younger brother and sister.”
Studying me for a second, Luca nods. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know, really. At first, it was because I was never planning to stay here. Not long term. So why tell people about myself or my family, you know?”
Luca doesn’t say anything, just stares at me, so I take a deep breath and keep going.
“Then Salem called me and told me they had been taken into foster care. I wanted to get them, but it felt like an uphill battle. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to.
” I shake my head. “I didn’t mean to put down roots here.
Or make friends. I definitely didn’t expect to meet someone like you.
And then there was Austin and Jasper, and later on, Theo.
And then…” I wave a hand around like that somehow explains anything at all.
“Your lies got too big,” Luca says.
I blow out a breath. “Yeah, and then my lies got too big.”
“And Jasper?”
“Oh.” My lips curve into a smile. “I’m in love with him.”
Luca snorts, raising an eyebrow. “No shit. Why did you hide that?”
I laugh. “C’mon, Luca. Look at me and then look at him.”
Luca flattens his lips into a thin line. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean,” I mumble.
He shakes his head. “No, I don’t. And even if I knew what you were insinuating, I’d make you say it anyway.”
I drop my head. “It was just sex… until it wasn’t. And then… I was falling so fast, and I was so afraid. He didn’t even know about the kids until… God, two weeks ago?”
Luca’s mouth falls open. “What? He didn’t know?”
I shake my head. “Not until I told Theo, and he convinced me to tell Jasper.”
Luca’s face goes pale. “You talked to Theo about it?”
I nod. “Yeah, the day Jasper came into the diner.”
Something complicated happens to Luca’s face, emotions flashing through his eyes faster than I can keep up. “You told Theo before me. But… why?”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “It wasn’t personal.”
It’s easy to see that he’s hurt. “It feels personal, Arlo. You don’t even know him. I thought…” He shakes his head, looking away from me. “I thought we were friends.”
My heart squeezes painfully. “We are. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”
“Apparently not.” Luca snorts a humorless laugh. “Not if you’d rather confide in Theo than me.”
“It wasn’t like that,” I rush to say, my heart hammering.
Luca looks at me, pinning me with his gray eyes. “What was it like then? I’m trying hard to understand, but I… I told you so much about me. I confided in you. Why didn’t you confide in me?”
“Jasper,” I say softly. “He’s your friend.
He’s your boyfriend’s best friend. And like you said, once the lies started, I didn’t know how to stop them.
At first it was that I didn’t even know if I could get the kids, and then it was that it didn’t matter yet because I failed my first home visit and needed to get a bigger place.
And then I finally did, and I wanted to tell you—I did.
But everything was so fucked up with Jasper, and I didn’t get the chance, and then I got approved, and then the house burned down, and—” My words cut off quickly as I inhale a sharp breath.
“So you didn’t tell me about your siblings because… what? You were worried I’d tell Jasper? That’s shit, Arlo. I would have never told anyone your secrets.”
“I didn’t want to put you in the middle. That’s all.”
“So why didn’t you tell me about Jasper? How long have you been together?”
“Officially?” I ask.
Luca levels me with a glare. “You know damn well I don’t mean officially.”
“Remember that night you texted me about Austin and Jasper having a bad night? There was a fire, and it was a rough night for them?”
Luca nods.
“It was that night. I was driving home from the diner, and I saw Jasper’s truck at The Pub.
I decided to stop in and check on him. I went home with him.
And then… we kinda tried to go back to normal.
But then after one of the self-defense lessons Jasper did with us, we hooked up again in the parking lot. ”
Luca’s eyebrows shoot to his hairline, but he stays quiet.
“I wanted to tell you, but it was just sex. And why would I risk messing up the dynamics of our friendship over sex?”
“It’s clearly not just sex,” Luca finally says.
I shake my head. “No. It’s not. And it hasn’t been for a long time, but neither of us said it out loud. That day at the diner? That happened because Salem—that’s my brother—called me while I was in bed with Jasper. We got into a fight. He told me he was in love with me. I ran.”
“So he really didn’t hurt you, then…” He shakes his head with a sigh. “I was really worried he had, and I’d read the situation wrong.”
“No,” I whisper. “He didn’t hurt me. I hurt him.”
“But you’re okay now?” he asks, concern marring his features.
“I think so. I mean, he’s told me he wants to marry me like a hundred times.”
Cocking his head, Luca studies me. “You don’t believe him?”
I try to smile, but I’m pretty sure it falls flat. “I think I do. But… he could do a lot better than me, and I think we all know it.”
Silence stretches between us for so long that I start to worry I’ve ruined our friendship. Wouldn’t that be some shit? Try to preserve our friendship and end up fucking it all up anyway.
“I don’t know that.” Luca shifts on the couch, moving closer to me. “Would you say that about me and Austin?”
Absolutely not. “Never.”
Luca shoots me a pointed look. “Right. So don’t say it about yourself. When are you going to get the kids now? You said Salem is your brother? How old is he? What about the other one?”
“Nora. She’s ten. Salem is fifteen. Jasper said he talked to the caseworker while I was out of it and that they’re doing a background check on him, and then they have to do another home visit. Here. After that? Hopefully soon.”
“Do you need anything?”
I let out a laugh. “I mean, I kinda need everything. But that’ll come in time.”
Luca drops onto the couch dramatically. “I’m still a little upset you went to Theo before me.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, shame filling my chest.
“But,” Luca says, glancing at me. “I just need to say that I fucking knew it. I called it from the first night. You two suck at being secretive.”
I thought we’d done a pretty damn good job of it. “How so?”
“It’s the heart eyes. Well, Jasper’s more than yours. I kinda thought maybe you all had sex, and he wanted more, and you shut him down. Then… I don’t know; over time, I thought maybe you were still hooking up. I guess I was right. So are you gonna?”
I blink, trying to keep up. “Am I gonna what?”
“Get married.” Luca raises his eyebrow like it was the most obvious question in the world.
“Eventually, I’m sure.”
His brows draw together. “You don’t want to?”
I want to make sure this isn’t too good to be true.
I’ve never had a single thing in my life work out for me.
Not once. Hell, not even a week after finally getting a place to bring my siblings to, it burns to the ground.
“If he asks me, I’ll say yes.” I lean closer to Luca, lowering my voice, which is stupid because we’re the only two people here, but saying the words out loud is scary, and maybe whispering them will make them less so.
“I think I’ve been in love with him the whole time. ”
Luca stares at me, his lips twitching like he’s fighting a smile. “You don’t say.”
I pick up a couch pillow and toss it at him. “You don’t have to make fun of me.”
He sobers. “I’m not making fun of you at all. I’m happy for you. Really.” Placing his hand on my knee, he gives me a sad smile. “I’m really sorry about the house and everything. I came to visit you in the hospital.”
I frown. “I don’t remember you being there.”
Sitting back, Luca shrugs. “I figured you wouldn’t, but you were there for me with Damien. I wanted to be there for you, even if you didn’t know it.” He glances at me. “You’re my best friend; you know that, right? I didn’t even know I needed someone like you in my life until I had you.”
My throat tightens. “You’re my best friend too. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about everything.”
“It’s okay. I forgive you.”
Relief rushes through me. “Thank you.”
Luca turns to me. “Did you think I wouldn’t?”
“I didn’t know, really.”
“I almost lost you, Arlo. Hell, we all did. Austin was a fucking wreck. Jasper too, obviously. You’re alive. Everything else seems pretty silly in comparison.”
We fall silent. Almost dying kinda feels like a cop-out, but I’m not too proud to take his kindness and generosity.
“Deb has forbidden you from coming back to work for at least a month, but she would prefer six weeks.”
I shake my head. “I can’t afford to do that. I need to provide for the kids.”
“Oh.” Luca sits up straighter. “No one told you?”
“Told me what?”
“Holy shit. Deb took up a collection at the diner.”
What? “What does that mean?”
Luca grins. “She put, like, a jar on the counter and collected money for you.”
“I’m sorry… What?”
“We raised close to ten thousand dollars.”
My eyes nearly bug out of my head. “What?”
Luca shrugs. Shrugs like it’s just no big deal. “To be fair, most of it was Burt. He showed up with an envelope full of cash. Eight grand.”
My brain nearly short-circuits. “What the fuck. Why?”
“Why what?” Luca asks, eyebrows scrunching up.
Is he being serious? “Why did they do that?”
“That’s what we do in small towns, Arlo. We look out for our own.”
He says it like it’s obvious, but when I was growing up in poverty and scrounging and sometimes stealing to make sure we had a meal each day, it didn’t feel like my small town was looking out for their own.
It felt like I was nothing, another nobody with druggie parents and no future.
Maybe this is standard in Silverpine, but it’s not the standard everywhere.
“I’m not one of your own, though.”
Luca laughs at that. Actually laughs. “Of course you are.”
I shake my head. “I’m a transplant.”
“You’re one of our own, Arlo,” he says again, his eyes turning serious as he stares at me.
“You take care of the people of this town every damn day. Maybe not in the same way Austin and Jasper do, but you do it all the same. You talk to them, and you make them feel special. You’re one of us, and you belong here. ”
His words hit me square in the chest, and for reasons I can’t explain at all, they make me cry. It would be fine if it was a little teary-eyed gratefulness. It’s not. I go from nothing to chest-heaving, ugly sobs between one second and the next. And just as quick, I’m being pulled into Luca’s arms.
He shushes me softly, stroking my hair, much like I did to him in the hospital the night Damien died.
I have no idea how long I cry. All I know is that Luca holds me the entire time. Words can’t express how thankful I am to have him as my friend. How lucky I am to have landed in this town. And how full my heart is that I’ve found a home here.