10. Landon
10
LANDON
U h-oh, did we get carried away? It certainly feels like we did as we lie next to one another on the couch, desperately gasping for air like we might never breathe again. I can’t even bear to turn to the side to look at Heather because I’m scared of what I’ll see. I don’t want to spot the regret crossing her expression when she connects with what’s just happened. She might hate it, she might fall apart, and that will crush me. Especially knowing that I’m supposed to be her protector. She’s the one who just went through a traumatic experience, so this could be seen as my taking advantage. But that wasn’t it. I wasn’t carried away.
Oh, my God, that wasn’t it at all. I could smack myself for even feeling that way. It wasn’t me wanting to take advantage of a horrible situation. It was me falling head over heels for Heather all over again, going back to where I was in my teens.
Honestly, I don’t think I ever stopped loving Heather. I know that now. I’ve never let anyone get close to me in that way because they haven’t been her. I gave myself the excuse that my work kept me too busy for a long-term woman in my life, but now I can see it’s just because Heather has always been the one for me… but what if I lose her all over again?
I curl over and clutch on to my stomach hard as that realization hits me like a punch in the face. The idea that this might not be the beginning of something new kills me. I can hardly breathe under the stress of it. She’s back. Even if Heather wasn’t brought back to me in the ideal way, she’s here and I don’t want to let her go. I can’t let her go. I need to keep her. Of course, I would much prefer for her to have been brought back to me much sooner than she has been. But perhaps there is a reason for that. Maybe we needed to wait until we were both ready before we could be back together again. God, I hope so.
“Wow,” Heather finally gasps with a giggle, making me snap around to see her. “That was incredible. Although I did always think that our first time would be long before we were in our thirties. I thought that we would lose our virginity to one another.”
She pulls me to her and kisses me sweetly, allowing all of my fears to ebb away. I don’t know why I was worried. Of course we’re both on the same page here. We always have been when it comes to us.
“Yeah, I always thought so too.” I scoop her up in my arms and hold her against me. “But at least we’re here now.”
“Right, and I hope that we can stay this way for a long time.” She snuggles against me. “I like it here with you.”
My stomach growls loudly, which makes us both laugh. Time has been a bit strange today, what with everything going on, so I guess we haven’t eaten and now I’m starving. I’ve probably been too tense to think about food until now. But my stomach isn’t going to let me get away with it any longer. If I don’t eat something soon, I’m going to crumble.
“I might go and cook something,” I say with a laugh. “Do you want anything to eat? I can go and see what I have.”
“Yeah, that would be great, actually.” She sits up confidently and stretches out her arms, allowing me to really admire the incredible way that she has grown into her body. She’s absolutely gorgeous. She really is like a goddess. Goddamn it, no wonder no one ever measured up to Heather. How the hell could they? She’s absolutely everything to me. “I’m starving.”
I half expect her to get dressed fully like I’m planning on, but when she grabs only my tee shirt and throws it over her head with a suggestive smile playing on her lips, I know that isn’t happening. Well, that’s okay with me. I can simply wear the sweatpants over in the drawer. That’s plenty enough for me. This is very couple-like and it’s adorable. I love being a part of it.
Then I reach out to hold Heather’s hand and we walk into the kitchen clinging to one another. I can’t stop myself from grinning like crazy. I feel like I’m soaring higher than air. This is not the way I thought the day was going to end when it began. My God, I thought that I was on a case to rescue some journalist. I didn’t know that I would have the love of my life back.
“So, what do you have?” Heather and I move around the kitchen with ease, almost like we’ve been doing it for years, like we’re married or something. “Ooh, your refrigerator is very empty. Is it time for you to do your grocery shopping?”
“I’ve been away until very recently,” I admit. “On a job in Argentina, so I haven’t been around to do shopping.”
“Oh, right.” Her eyes pop open in shock. “A job like this one with me? You protect all kinds of people, right?”
“It wasn’t much like this, but close enough.” I can’t give her any details because of confidentiality, but she isn’t asking anyway. “But if you’re going to stay around, then I’ll make sure I go out shopping tomorrow.” God, I hope she stays around. “But for now, I’ve got enough to make a meal. Don’t you worry about that. You just go and take a seat to relax, okay?”
She does what I command with her hands held up in a surrendering gesture. “Sure, sounds nice. It’s been a long time since anyone spoiled me and cooked for me like that. I actually can’t even remember the last time it happened.”
“Well, you stick around here and I’ll spoil you as much as you want,” I assure her with a wink. “Whatever you need.”
“Yeah, until you’re back in Argentina or somewhere like that.” Uh-oh, she sounds a little sad. “Then I’ll be alone.”
Oh, I can see on her face that she isn’t keen on the idea of me running around the world saving people, putting myself in danger in the process. Hmm, that’s something I might have to think about given half the chance. Because Heather is worth everything to me, she’s worth more than any job, including this one. But I’m not going to throw everything away just yet over one little comment. I don’t need to toss my whole life over when we don’t know what our future will be just yet.
“What about your work?” I ask her quietly. “What about your journalism? That must keep you busy, right?”
She practically shrinks in on herself. “I don’t know what I’m going to do about that, to be honest. I’ve never seen it as a dangerous job before, even when other people have told me that it is.” Her father. I can see those words coming from him. “But now I’ve been proven wrong, haven’t I? I got kidnapped and was about to be sold off, if you hadn’t saved me.”
She shudders hard, and I immediately throw my arms around her to try and comfort her as much as I can, but I can’t do anything to take away the terror that my father has instilled in her. I hate him for that. He’s an absolute asshole. Heather is such an amazing person that I can’t believe he would do that to her. No one deserves the treatment he gave her, or what he was going to do to her, but Heather least of all. The fact that my father knows Heather just makes it worse. I know he’s a bad guy, but both of my parents always liked her when we were kids. Her father, not so much. I always thought that was because of his strictness, but now I obviously know it’s because he was the cop and on to them and their stupid criminal schemes.
“I’m sorry you feel this way,” I mutter quietly to her. “I’m sorry this has happened. I’ll do what I can to help you recover, and if it means getting another job, then I can assist you or whatever. Or I can even protect you as you work.”
“You would do that?” She twists around to smile at me. “You would follow me around and do that? Protect me like that?”
“Of course I would.” I lean down and kiss her softly on her lips, my heart hammering like crazy as I do. Yep, I really am feeling intense emotions for her in every single way. I adore her, I love her, I want to keep her with me for the rest of my life. I’m overwhelmed with how much I want to keep her around. I’m scared I might do something wild like telling her at some point. “I would follow you around for the rest of my life if it meant nothing else happened to you. If you didn’t get hurt again.”
“Is that because of your father?” She strokes my cheek gently with adoration in her eyes. “Because you don’t have to feel bad about that. It wasn’t you who did anything to me. You’re the one who came to save me. You don’t have to hold on to his guilt. I don’t want you to think that I blame you for your father’s actions. You have never been the same as him.”
I almost well up with emotion as she says this. I changed my surname to take me away from my family, to separate me from that, but even with knowing who I am, Heather sees me for a better man. She sees me for who I am. I hold on to that emotion as we eat the food that I’ve cooked and make our way up to bed. I do have a spare room which Heather could sleep in if she wants to. It’s part of the reason that I’m happy to have her stay over, but she wants to be with me.
As we hold one another in my bed, I allow my mind to wander off, to dream about what life will look like if we do somehow find a way to make this work between us. Just because we want it, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it will happen. We aren’t silly teenagers now with stars in our eyes and the belief that the world is our oyster. We’re adults with lives and responsibilities. We have to really think about what we’re going to do to make sure things are right.
But all of that reality doesn’t stop my mind from wandering. It doesn’t stop me from thinking about what our lives might look like given half the chance. I see us falling in love once more, or remaining in love since I don’t think that feeling ever went away, and living together. Maybe in this house, maybe somewhere else. Getting married and having children too, having a little family of our own. The sort of life that we always dreamed of with a white picket fence and a whole lot of happiness.
Ever since I joined the Navy SEALs, I put more into my work and travel. I thought that was what I needed to keep me smiling, but now I know differently. Now, I know what I’ve always really needed is right here beside me. Now, it’s just going to be a case of keeping her somehow, of finding a way for the pair of us to make a life together.