26. Chapter 25
Chapter 25
SHYLOH
A soft illumination cascaded through the tent, with streaks of sunlight peering in from the zipper leaving soft streams of orange over Becca’s soft and plush lips.
Becca was here, next to me.
I barely slept because I kept thinking about her. I was coming to the conclusion that Becca Dawson might be the most incredible woman I’ve ever known. She was charming, conniving, smart-mouthed, intelligent, and so breathtaking.
My finger trailed her soft skin over her collarbones, shoulders, and arms. I watched as her chest rose and fell with each inhale and exhale. She was peaceful, with no frustrated look, no anger, just absolute peace. She deserves that—to have peace and be happy .
Did she know that she was deserving of happiness? Because I wanted to give her that. Was I completely attracted to her and wanted to sleep with her? Yes, but it had grown into so much more than that.
This woman annoyed the hell out of me, and I knew for a fact I aggravated her. But there is no one else I wanted to irritate, only her.
Her eyes started to flutter as they peaked open to me staring at her. “Shyloh, could you not be so irritating so early? I haven’t even woken up yet.”
I laughed. She was always quick, and I loved that about her.
“Oh, seriously? I was just admiring the most beautiful creature I know.”
“We’re back to a beautiful creature now?” She smiled, sitting up and looking for her clothes.
“Running off so soon?” I asked.
Becca pulled her clothes on quickly and turned around to look at me. “I need to go get our stuff ready for the hike today. I’m not purposefully abandoning you. And also,” she teased as she leaned over to kiss my cheek. “I gotta get out of here before someone sees me sneak out.”
“Ah, there’s the real reason. You’re embarrassed by me.”
“No, I’m not, and you know it. I’ll see you in a little while.” She turned to unzip the tent, and I couldn’t help but smack her ass a little and she shooed me away with her hand as she stepped out of my humble abode .
I was in trouble. She was about to become my entire world, and she didn’t even know it yet.
***
“Watch out for the rocks ahead! We will need to step over some, just be cautious,” Becca announced, and we followed her command. She knew what she was talking about, and we weren’t taking any chances. I stayed in the back of the group, ensuring that everyone made it over the rocks.
When I finally made it over, a smiling Becca was waiting for me. “What’s that look for?” I asked coyly.
She flipped her ponytail to the side. “Oh nothing, I’m just realizing how much of a gentleman you are. Waiting for everyone to make it through the rocks… staying behind.”
My brows shot up. “Oh, you like that, do you?” I stepped closer to her, and she placed her hands on my chest.
“Yeah, actually I do,” Becca smiled. “We make a good team.”
I smirked. “Well, do you think that we’d make a good team later tonight?”
Her brows raised in suspicion. “Tonight's dinner at the lodge is an end of retreat celebration for everyone, not just us.”
“But, after… it could be just us.”
Rolling her eyes, she replied, “Well see.”
Hell. I’d take that over no. I was honestly so proud of her for finally admitting her feelings for me in her own little way.
***
Late. I was late.
Hopefully, she doesn’t dock my staying the night points’ because of this.
“You’re late,” Becca announced to me and the rest of the table. Each person was in their world, talking with one another, not caring at all that I was in fact late.
“Sorry, Mother . It took a while for the hot water to heat up,” I replied with a wink.
She rolled her eyes and took a bite of the bread roll in her hand as I slid into the seat beside her.
“We already ordered dinner. Hopefully you like what you get.”
I tilted my head towards her. “Awe. You ordered dinner for me?”
Becca smirked and shook her head. “Nope. Donna did.” I glanced over at Donna, who gave me a silent cheer with her glass of water. “I told her you should starve instead.”
“You are just such a romantic, aren’t you? Let me starve at dinner so I’ll be hungry for that pu—”
She held her finger over my lip. “Do not finish that sentence at this table.”
I smiled against her skin and stuck out my tongue, licking it. She pulled back with a repulsed expression.
“Oh, please don’t deny it. You love it,” I scoffed .
Becca rolled her eyes, staring out the windows. She tried her best to avoid me during the dinner, but that was difficult to do when the person sitting next to her was me.
Taking my final bite of chocolate cake and dropping the fork on the plate with a clatter, I turned to Becca. “So, what’s the plan after we get back to the airport? You gonna come to New Orleans with me?”
Her brows furrowed. “No. Why would I go back there? My life is here.”
“Oh, c’mon Becks. You can’t avoid your friends and family at home, forever.”
“No, and I don’t want to talk about it again.”
Her sternness was abrupt, and there was no denying that she felt very strongly about not going home, which put a serious damper on my plans.
“Fine. No more talk about the future.”
After finishing up dinner, everyone trickled out of the dining room, but I waited in Becca’s hallway, knowing that she couldn’t avoid me. When her eyes found mine, a certain softness washed over her.
“I accept my defeat.” She pointed past me. “Let’s go.”
I ran after her down the hallway, not wanting her to leave me outside of her room. She unlocked the door, and I followed her inside.
Quickly placing the key card on the side table, Becca started to take off her clothes without turning around.
“Whoa. What are you doing? ”
She peeked over her shoulder to see me standing at the end of the bed. “I’m taking my clothes off. Isn’t that what you want?”
My feet couldn’t move fast enough to stop her. The white button-down was already undone and I gripped her shoulder. “Stop.”
“Stop what?”
I grunted. “Stop trying to make this surface level. We both know we are way past that.”
Becca groaned. “I don’t want this to mean anything.”
Tugging on her shoulder to face me, she gave in and looked up. “What is so wrong with having feelings, Becca?” I asked gently. “What is so wrong with having feelings for me ?”
I thought I saw a tear stream down her face for a split second before she answered. “I’m not pushing you away,” she replied, sitting on the edge of her bed.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Yes. You are. Look at me.”
She wouldn’t look.
“Look at me, Becca,” I said, standing in front of her.
Her eyes finally connected with mine and I could see the hurt in them. She was scared.
“We’re just having fun, okay? We like each other and we’re obviously very attracted to each other. Why is that so bad?” I asked, sincerity prominent in my words.
She sighed. “It’s not bad. I just…”
I stepped closer, placing my hand over her cheek. “Tonight, let’s just sleep, okay? There’s too much going on in our heads and maybe we just need to rest.”
Becca’s eyes searched mine for something. Truth? Sincerity ?
“I’ll even go to my own room, and let you have some alone time,” I insisted, even though it was the last thing I wanted.
She gripped my hand. “No, stay, please. I like having you by me.”
I beamed a smile at her. “Okay, I’ll stay.” I jumped on the bed and kicked off my shoes. “Let’s get some sleep, shall we?”
There was a small smile, but it was quickly replaced by something else. Worry. Becca was worried about so many things in that beautiful head, and I was determined to give her mind some rest.
“Come here,” I said with open arms, ready to snuggle the shit out of her for the entire night.
She leaned over, laying her head on my chest, and I gently rubbed her arm. Holding her, kissing her forehead, and never wanting this to ever stop.
Becca had to be the one for me. I’d been with many girls, slept in the same bed, but none had ever made me feel like this. Like I was home.
***
The faint scent of vanilla stirred me awake. Without opening my eyes, I knew that Becca wasn’t in bed, but she hadn’t abandoned me, at least not yet. The shower was running, and the dawn was still a few hours away.
We were going on our final hike today, which was a last hoorah in some sense. I sat up, throwing my legs over the side of the bed and stretching .
The door to the bathroom creaked open, but Becca wasn’t expecting me to be up.
“Ah!” she shrieked.
I gave her a sleepy smile. “Did you forget I was here?”
She took a few shy steps towards me. “No, I didn’t forget. I just didn’t realize that you were awake.”
As Becca stood in front of me, I wrapped my hands around her waist and pulled her between my thighs, her hands pressing into my shoulders to steady herself.
“Oh, I am very much… awake,” I replied.
She giggled, slapping my shoulders playfully. “We don’t have time for that. We have our final hike this morning, and we need to get out of here before people notice that we’re together.”
“So, we’re together?”
“That’s not what I meant. I meant that they will see us and know that—”
“We slept in the same bed, but we’re also together.”
She sighed. “We aren’t together. You know that.”
I smirked. “Sure. Whatever you say, boss.”
Becca and I had been playing this cat-and-mouse game for far too long and I didn’t want this to end. Realistically, she was right, especially if she wasn’t planning on moving back to New Orleans. I wasn’t going to move to San Diego, either.
But damn. The feelings I had for her just wouldn’t escape me, and I didn’t know if they ever would .
“Well. Well. Well. Look at the two of you,” Donna teased while the rest of the group did a slow clap for Becca and I as we walked into the lobby.
I waved and soaked in the glory of knowing at that moment, Becca Dawson was completely mine and everyone here knew it.
“Thank you, thank you, it was a lot of hard work, but—”
A slam of a hand over my mouth knocked me back and silenced me. “Would you shut up?” Becca growled through clenched teeth. I couldn’t help but smile against her hand.
“I need you to be on your best behavior. Okay?”
I nodded and fluttered my eyes at her, silently promising to be a good boy just for her.
“Alright, everyone,” Becca announced to the group. “Today is our final hike. It isn’t a long one, but it is more dangerous, especially since we are walking before sunrise. It follows along a cliff and there are more predators out and about. So, keep that in mind.”
Her eyes darted to me. I knew she meant that I needed to be on my best behavior, but we both knew I was way more fun when I refused to behave.
***
Ever been in the dark on the edge of the Grand Canyon? It’s terrifying. Our little flashlights didn’t give me an ounce of confidence in where we were going, but I blindly followed our little blonde guide like my life depended on it because it absolutely did .
After what felt like hours of freaking the hell out, we finally made it to the big rock we planned to sit on to watch the sunrise. Everyone grabbed a towel to sit on, and I saddled right up next to Becca.
“C’mon, pretty boy,” Becca said, patting the ground beside her.
I smiled a stupid fucking grin and sat right next to her. Our flashlights were still on, waiting for the sun to rise.
“You know, I’m really glad you were forced to come here,” she admitted, stunning me into silence.
Her elbow knocked into me. “I’m serious. After everything you’ve been through, I hope this has been a good experience for you.”
“Well, getting sprayed by a skunk won’t make it on my top five favorite things in life, but this trip was needed. But Becca, I need to talk to you about us. We need to—”
She shook her head, brushing me off. “We don’t need to do anything, Shy. We aren’t a couple. We are just horny and needed to hook up.”
I breathed out an aggravated breath. “We both know this is so much more than a hook-up, Becks.”
“It has to be. I can’t be involved with you.”
“Why not?” I bit back at her.
“Because you and I live completely different lives. I can’t just leave here.”
“We could make this work.” I turned to face her, grabbing her arm tenderly. “Becca, I am crazy about you. You already know that I am. I just want a chance to be with you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. It’s why I reserved a seat for you at every game, just in case. It’s why I mess with you. It’s why I snuggled with you last night. I mean, what else do I need to do for you to let me—”
“There is nothing you can do,” she snapped as a soft orange glow started to illuminate the sky and reflect off of her eyes.
“I know you’re scared, but this could work. Is it because of Thomas and what happened in high school? If it is —”
Becca whirled to face me, her eyes flaming with rage. “How dare you bring him up. You don’t know him.”
“No, I don’t, because he isn’t alive anymore, Becca. You can’t love him into coming back. He is gone.”
As soon as the words left my mouth, regret filled my lungs. The tears in her eyes glistened as the sun began to rise radiating warm tones of orange and yellow.
I ran my hand over my face. “I’m sorry, Becca. I shouldn’t have said that.” I turned to look at the canyon. I couldn’t even appreciate the beauty of it because of the conversation we were having.
She sniffled softly, blinking the tears from her eyes and watching the sunrise. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Her shoulders slumped.
“I know that he won’t ever come back. I know that. But when I’m in places like this, I feel him. Not physically obviously, but spiritually I do. I—”
Becca sobbed softly into her knees, rubbing her face over the fabric of her pants before turning to look at me. “I will always love him, and it wouldn’t be fair to you or someone else to compete with a man who doesn’t even exist. ”
I sank beside her, placing my hand on her shoulder gently. “But what if there is enough love for both him and me? What if you have more room than you think?”
She sighed, looking back at the sunrise. “I don’t know.”
“When we get back to Vegas, I’m not going to board my flight. I’m gonna come with you. I want to spend more time with you. There doesn’t need to be any labels or promises.”
Becca paused, chewing her lip nervously. “Let me think about it. Okay?”
I looked at her, the delicate interior that holds so much love all covered up with a wall. Any answer other than no was an answer I’d happily accept.
“Okay, Becks. Okay,” I replied, patting her hand on her knee and gently grasping it.
We sat quietly the rest of the sunrise, watching the colors illuminate the canyon and the entire horizon. It was an unequivocal beauty. All of this hard work in the dark to set ourselves up for the most stunning view of our entire lifetime.
And that’s what I was going to do. I was going to pull Becca out of the dark and bring her to the light. Even if it was the last thing I would do.