31. Nevaeh
Gabriel is sharing a story from his childhood while we eat the food Valentina and he made. She smiles at her fiancé while he goes on to tell me about Jean, his brother, who is studying business. The love I see in Val’s eyes and then in Gabriel’s when he catches her staring at him turns my stomach upside down. I’ve never felt a love like theirs. I can’t help but wonder how many people are lucky enough to experience it in their lives.
Adrian pulls me out of my thoughts as he guides my hair behind my shoulder, resting his head on his hand and watching me with half a smile.
“What?” I ask, and he looks down at his plate, a faint smirk on his full lips.
“I like having you here,” he admits, and my stomach turns for an entirely different reason.
His eyes drift to his sister before he looks away again and clears his throat.
“Anyway, I should probably head home,” Adrian says and sits up straight.
The words falling from my lips come out too fast for me to stop them.
“Take me with you.”
Surprise laces his features, and when I check to see Val’s and Gabriel’s reactions, they have the same shock on their faces as Adrian.
I let out a nervous laugh before adding, “I’d love to see where you live.”
Nothing is going to save me from this awkwardness. If anything, I’m only digging myself a deeper hole.
“And then I’ll drive you back here later?” Adrian asks, obviously unsure what I want. I don’t even know what I want. My first instinct was merely to spend more time with him because whenever I’m with him, I don’t think about work, Mama, or anything else that makes my blood boil. I only see him, feel him.
“Sure. I mean, if you want.”
Oh God, this is getting worse by the second.
A chuckle vibrates off his chest, and he grins with his tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek to hide his amusement. He stands up only to lean down and whisper something into my ear.
“If we start talking about what I want, mon paradis, then we’re going to have a very simple conversation we’re not allowed to have,” he says and holds out his hand to help me up from my seat.
With a blush settling on my cheeks and my heart racing, I take it but keep my distance from him. Val and Gabriel have luckily moved on by making conversation with each other, which takes some of the embarrassment off my chest.
I attempt to pick up my plate, but Val frowns at me.
“You leave that plate where it is,” she warns, and I raise my hands in surrender. “Good. I’ll see you later.”
Her face lets me know she doesn’t think I’ll be back, and, if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t think so either.
Adrian grabs my hand and leads me back to his car. We don’t speak the entire drive, but my heart pounds rapidly anyway. Nothing is going to happen between us, so why doesn’t my body understand that? The drive to his apartment in Monte Carlo is short. There are lights all around us, and we pass the famous casino. I’ve never been a big fan of gambling, but since I’m moving here, I doubt I can get around going at least once. The city is buzzing with life. People are everywhere, enjoying the spring evening weather as it slowly turns to summer.
Adrian drives into the parking garage of his building, and we walk by a row of expensive cars. Grenzenlos, Porsche, Maserati, any luxury brand can be found here. I let out a low whistle when we pass by a baby blue Bugatti.
“No way,” I blurt out and study the car more closely. Adrian stops and turns toward me, pointing at my camera bag.
“Do you want to take a picture?” he asks with a teasing grin, and I narrow my eyes before giving him a playful glare.
“No, I’ve just never seen a beauty like this one in real life before,” I reply, and he lets out a hurt huff.
“You’ve met me,” he defends, and I stop myself from face-palming my forehead.
“I stand by what I said,” I assure him, and he lets out a groan that makes my heart skip a beat.
“Let’s go before you frustrate me even further,” Adrian points out while we’re walking toward the elevator.
“How am I frustrating you?” I ask as the doors open and we step into the small confinement.
Adrian presses his floor, causing the machine to start up and take us there with a rumbling noise.
“The list is long. Would you like all the reasons or just the top two?” My jaw almost drops, but I manage to catch it before it hits the ground.
“Why are there so many?” I twist my head to study his face, but he’s covering it with his hands.
“Okay, bottom of the list? You’re stubborn in a way that makes me want to shake some sense into you sometimes. You pretend you’re okay when you’re unbelievably overwhelmed. You tease me even though I told you it turns me on. You have so much talent but doubt yourself anyway. And you didn’t talk to me about how much it bothered you to see me with Melanie at the club,” he says, and I struggle to find the breath he knocked out of me.
Adrian leads me out of the elevator and opens his apartment door. We walk inside while I wish I could focus on anything other than his words. He grabs my shoulders before his hands slide onto my neck, causing my eyes to close from his touch.
“Melanie and I slept together once, Nevaeh. She’s very nice, but a little touchy, and thinks she might have another chance with me. She doesn’t. I don’t want her,” Adrian explains, rubbing his thumbs along my cheeks.
My eyelids flutter open so I can look at his sincere expression.
“You don’t have to justify yourself, Adrian. You’re free to sleep with whomever you want. We’re just friends,” I say, but he cocks a brow, not believing me.
“It bothered you anyway, didn’t it?” he asks, and I step out of his embrace. He watches me like a hawk, and my emotions spill out of me before I can stop them.
“Yes, it bothered me. I hated that she touched you. It made me jealous.”
There is no anger in the way he looks at me. If anything, there’s understanding, and that only frustrates me more.
“It bothers me, Adrian, so much, because I have no right to be jealous. We’re friends. That’s all we can be. There you go. All my secrets laid bare for you so you can hate me or be upset with me,” I say and run my hands over my face.
“I also don’t want you to touch anyone who isn’t me, let alone have someone else touch you,” he admits, his hands lifting to my hips to drag me closer.
His mouth falls back down to mine, his lips almost brushing mine when we’re interrupted by the sound of my ringtone filling the room. I take it out of my pocket to turn off the jerk who destroyed what could have been the moment Adrian and I first kissed when my heart sinks into my stomach.
Lincoln’s name flashes on my screen, causing Adrian to step away from me.
“Answer it. He’ll be worried if you don’t,” the Monegasque says before leaving the room.
I hit Answer, concern stretching through me. We haven’t spoken in a long time, and now he calls me. Something’s not right. What if it’s Elena? What if something happened to my parents? Anxiety spreads through me, taking me captive until I’m wheezing out a breath.
“Lincoln? What’s wrong?” I ask, covering my stomach with my hand.
The silence on the other side makes me nauseous.
“‘What’s wrong?’ I’ll goddamn tell you what’s wrong, Nevaeh. You’re in Monaco looking at apartments because you’re moving there and didn’t tell me? Are you kidding me? We don’t speak and you decide to fucking leave the country to avoid me?”
Relief floods through me.
“First of all, calm down. That’s not the reason I’m moving. My boss offered me a job here, and I took it. It has nothing to do with you, and we’re not on speaking terms,” I say quietly, softly, keeping my anger at bay and also trying to avoid Adrian from hearing how angry Lincoln makes me.
“Why are you speaking so quietly?” Of course, that’s what he wants to focus on. I’m about to respond when he draws his own conclusion. “Oh my God, you”re with Adrian, aren’t you?” he asks, and I let my silence answer his question. “I see how it is. I’m sorry I interrupted date night—” I have to stop him right then and there.
“You’re impossible, Linc, absolutely impossible. I’m sick and tired of you pretending to have some fucking claim on me. I’m not yours and never will be,” I remind him, but he lets out a harsh laugh. “I didn’t want to let go of you for a long time, Lincoln, because you were my best friend for my whole childhood, but this is toxic. You are toxic for me, and I don’t want to have you in my life anymore,” I reply and hang up before he can yell at me again.
As I raise my head, I notice Adrian walking out of what I assume is his bedroom and leaning against the door frame.
“Are you okay?” he asks, and I let out a deep breath, which sounds more like a sigh.
“Some people in my life want to make things more difficult than they need to be. Lincoln is one of those people,” I explain honestly, earning a small smile from the tall blonde.
“But you love him,” Adrian points out, and I almost laugh.
“I don’t remember my life before him. He was my best friend for a long time, and I love that version of him, but this version, the one who has to fight with me about everything and chose silence as a solution, is not someone I share those feelings for,” I say and shift my weight from one foot to the other.
Adrian’s gaze is on me as he crosses his arms in front of his chest.
“Lincoln hasn’t learned how to properly treat a woman he’s interested in yet, and it shows in his behavior toward you,” Adrian states, shaking his head in disapproval. “You deserve someone who knows what he wants but doesn’t make you feel like shit when he can’t get it,” he goes on, and I finally manage a smirk.
“Hmmm, I wonder who you could possibly mean?” I say sarcastically, making him chuckle as he pushes off the wall. “The good thing is, I’m way too busy for a relationship. Plus, drivers are off-limits,” I say and step past him and toward his balcony.
“For now,” he mumbles from behind me, and I smile.
The view is breathtaking. The sea is straight ahead with countless yachts at the harbor. Lights highlight the buildings on each side of us, but it’s quite dark where we’re standing. Adrian hung a few lights on the railing, and there is light brown outdoor furniture with a cocoon patio chair on the very left. It’s cozy and elegant at the same time.
“I’ve always wanted one of these,” I admit as I move toward the cocoon chair.
It’s quite large, enough to fit at least three people. My fingers trail over the woven material as Adrian walks past me and sits down, pulling me with him. I fall onto his chest and let out a wholehearted laugh. We shift around until I’m on my back with my head resting on his thigh so I can look up at him while he stares down at me. His fingers push my hair from my face before his thumb runs over my bottom lip, sending shivers down my back.
“You’re very smooth, Mr. Romana, I’ll give you that,” I say and Adrian’s body shakes with a laugh, his other hand moving onto my stomach. I suck in a sharp breath, and he immediately removes it.
“I’m sorry,” he says, but I’m already reaching for his hand to place it back on my body.
He smiles down at me, but my eyes close as he traces the shape of an eight along the exposed skin on my hip bone. I feel the ache grow between my legs as his finger continues to work its magic on me. He should stop, and I should tell him to, but that’s the last thing I want right now.
The back of his hand runs over my cheek before his index finger follows a path from one of my freckles to the next until he’s touched almost all of them. My head lifts in the direction of his hand when he removes it, making him furrow his brows.
“Nevaeh, do you normally kiss your friends?” he asks quietly, his voice strained even as he tries to laugh and lighten the mood.
Everything inside of me is yelling to guide his head down and press my lips against his, everything but my head. My head reminds me of work, my fear of failure, my parents and their expectations, of the life I’m working toward.
“I really like you, Adrian. Kissing you has been on my mind since we first met, but everything”s too complicated, and you deserve better than that. You deserve easy,” I say, looking away from him.
“Mon beau paradis Nevaeh, you should start focusing on what you deserve instead of worrying about me.”
A tear falls down my cheek.
“If you don’t know, I will gladly tell you. You deserve someone who thinks of you first. You deserve someone who doesn’t fight with you every chance they get. You deserve someone who sees beyond your outer beauty and realizes how priceless you are on the inside, too. You deserve someone who knows all of your smiles. Who would wait for you no matter how long. Who’d fight themself to make you happy.”
I move off him and toward my bag.
I can’t take this, any of it.
“Nevaeh,” Adrian pleads, but I’m already by the front door.
“No, Adrian, I can’t—” I cut off and cover my face with my hands.
I have no idea what I’m doing, and I’m so scared I’m making the wrong choices, scared I’ll lose another dream, turn my parents against me, and ruin my reputation as a reporter.
Adrian’s fingers wrap around my wrist to remove my hands and reveal my tear-stained face. Confusion and panic decorate his gorgeous features, and I feel my knees give in a little. Adrian shouldn’t be dragged along while I figure my shit out, it’s not fair.
“I can’t give you what you want,” I say, but he merely smiles at me.
“You’re so stubborn. Have you ever asked me what I want?” he asks and moves me from side to side to cheer me up, but it doesn’t help.
“It doesn’t matter. I can’t give you anything,” I reply.
“I want to be friends, Nevaeh. Do you know when the last time was that I had as much fun as today?” he says, and I bring my gaze to him, waiting for him to tell me. “It was three years ago when I beat James’ ass in table tennis while he was drunk. He could barely stand, and I took advantage of it, aiming for his body every time I hit the ball,” he explains, and I start laughing. “Like you said, all we can be right now is friends, and I’d much rather be your friend than a stranger you fuck once. Don’t make assumptions, and for the love of God, please don’t push me away because of them.”
He lets out a deep breath, his eyes drifting to the mirror on the wall behind him. Adrian sticks his ass out and frowns.
“You know, since you laughed at me for having a flat butt, Daniel’s been helping me build muscle.”
For some reason, a roar of laughter escapes me, and I have to sit down on the ground to catch my breath.
“No, you haven’t,” I blurt out, but my words are barely audible.
“Yes, I have been, but I don’t see progress yet,” he complains, and I have to concentrate really hard not to pee myself. This man is unbelievable.
Finally, I manage to calm down enough to see he’s settled down in front of me.
“Oh my God, Adrian, you have a great ass, please don’t be insecure,” I say and wipe the tears of laughter away.
“Fine, but only if you watch a movie with me,” he replies and stands up, holding out his hands to help me get up, too. I take them, but, this time, he doesn’t linger. “Actually, come with me, I’m going to show you something else first.”
Adrian grabs my hand to lead me to the room next to his bedroom. I assumed it was for guests, but in it stands a piano. The white, upright instrument rests against the wall, but apart from a bookshelf on the opposite side and a couch to the right, the room is empty.
“When I was younger, I used to take piano lessons, but I stopped for a while. I’ve been practicing again since I moved into this apartment. This is the only thing I have that no one really knows about,” he explains. “People tend to make things about themselves or blow it out of proportion or start expecting things I don’t want to give them like writing my own music or some shit. So, I kept this a secret, wanted this to be just mine,” he adds while walking toward his piano and carefully pushing me onto the bench in front of it.
“Why are you sharing this with me?” I ask and watch him as he settles down next to me.
“Because in a moment, you will look at me with that smile of awe that makes your eyes glow, and I’d give anything to see it as often as possible,” Adrian says, his fingers running over the keys as he hesitates. “I also know that I can trust you, and I haven’t trusted a woman apart from Val since my mom left,” he goes on, his eyes shifting to my face.
Pain is written all over his features, which makes some shoot through my chest. I run my fingers over his cheek and study the way his eyes close in response.
“Your trust is safe with me. I’ll keep it in my heart and fight off anyone that comes close to it,” I promise, and he opens his eyes again to look at me, giving me a warm smile.
Adrian feels the keys for another moment before running his fingers over them, creating a soft melody that instantly warms my insides. He’s precise about every single note, but I’ve never heard this song before. I pay close attention, feeling that expression of awe that he was talking about spreading over my entire face until the smile settles deep within my chest. I see one spreading over his face when he looks at me.
A few minutes pass of him playing, but I almost complain when he comes to an end. I could listen to him forever.
“That was beautiful,” I say, but he takes a deep breath, looking uncertain and a little like he’s in pain.
“Let’s go watch a movie.” I can sense sharing even one song with me took him stepping out of his comfort zone by a mile, so I nod and stand up, following him out of his private room.
We walk into his bedroom where everything is neat and in its proper place, as if no one lived in here. There isn’t a sock anywhere where it shouldn’t be.
I place my fists on my hips and tilt my head his way.
“Did you know I was coming and cleaned up?” I ask, but he brushes it off by blowing out a breath like that’s the most ridiculous sentence he’s ever heard.
“You really think you’re that special?” He imitates my position by putting his hands on his hips as well. I laugh again.
“We both know I am, and we both know you cleaned up in case we went to your apartment.” I cock a challenging brow, and he chuckles at my words.
“I’ll have you know, I’m a very clean person in general,” he says.
“But you went the extra mile for me.” I fill in what he isn’t saying, making him grin.
“Fine, yes, I cleaned for you. Happy now?” he asks, and I give him a satisfied nod.
“Yes.”
Adrian and I agree on Captain America: The Winter Soldier since it’s in both of our top ten Marvel movies and he’s been meaning to rewatch it for a while now. I lie down on his bed, but he stands on the other side for a moment, his eyes fixated on me.
“What? Did you want me to lie somewhere else?” I ask and sit up, but he shakes his head, a puzzled look on his face.
“No, right there works,” he assures me and settles down next to me.
I brush off his strange behavior and focus on the television. Chris Evans jogs onto the screen, and I feel myself inching closer toward Adrian. Noticing, he grabs my hand and brings me to his chest so I can lie my head on it, listening to his quick heartbeat.
I make him nervous. We make each other nervous.
Jesus, I’m bending the rules so far, they could crack any second. If things didn’t feel so right with Adrian, I would have stopped this before we got here, but I couldn’t. Considering the way his body responds to my proximity, he probably didn’t want me to either.
At this point, I’m not even playing with fire anymore, it’s something beyond that.
Adrian’s fingers run through my hair, messaging my aching head and calming my racing thoughts.
“I’ve never had a woman sleep in my bed before,” Adrian blurts out halfway through the movie.
“Is that your way of telling me to leave?” I ask with a laugh, tilting my head to look up at him. He meets my gaze, his thumb lifting to my lips to trace them. To study them. To memorize them.
“No, I don’t want you to leave, Nevaeh, and that terrifies me if I’m being honest,” he says, taking a deep breath before he adds, “And while I’m already being honest, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on, inside and out, and if you stay with me tonight, I doubt I’ll ever get over it.”
He smiles down at me, pulling my bottom lip down just to release it again and watch it bounce back into place.
“So fucking beautiful, I can’t believe you’re real,” he whispers, biting his bottom lip as he traces my face with his gaze.
“I’d tell you you’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen, too, but I think your ego is already taking up too much space. Can’t let it get any bigger,” I tease, and his grin brightens up his entire room, leaving nothing but a ray of sunshine in its wake.
“One day, when I’m allowed, I’m gonna kiss you for every single time you teased me. I’m keeping track, you know. You already owe me ten kisses.” The smile stretching my lips wide is out of my control, but even if I could stop it, I wouldn’t.
“Is that right? And how long do you plan on waiting for me, Mr. Romana?” I ask, my hand running over his muscular chest. He grabs it, lifts it to his lips, and presses a single kiss to my pulse point.
“As long as it takes.”
And with that, he slips down on his bed to position me in the crook of his arm and guide me to his chest. His heart is racing so fast, I can almost feel his fear with every beat. Everything about what we’re doing isn’t just new for me. It’s new for him, too, and it scares him.
And yet, he doesn’t push me away. He drags me impossibly closer, his lips brushing my forehead as he cuddles me while we finish our movie.
“I’ll wait forever if I have to,” is the last thing I hear him say before I fall asleep in the arms of the first person I’ve ever allowed to hold me this way when I’m at my most vulnerable.