Chapter 2
TWO
MCKENNA
“You look beautiful.” My father’s smile is warm, his eyes bright with pride, as he tugs on the sleeve of my graduation gown.
“Thank you, Dad.” I wrap my arms around him, relishing the hug.
This past year may have been a shit show of epic proportions but one thing I am grateful for is the relationship Dad and I mended.
Especially since my mother couldn’t be bothered to attend my graduation today.
Instead, she’s in Aruba, taking advantage of the off-season where there’re fewer crowds and shorter wait times at the restaurants she likes to frequent.
“Let me get a photo of you two together,” Allegra says.
I look up and smile, keeping my arms around Dad, as Allegra lifts her cell phone.
“You did it, Kenny!” Ivy squeals, entering the brownstone with a bouquet of flowers.
“You’re here!” I gasp, surprised to see her.
“Of course we’re here.” Nova steps into the space behind Ivy, struggling to pull in the stroller for her daughter, Stella.
“I got it,” comes the rumbly voice of her husband, West.
He appears a moment later, wrapping a hand around the stroller’s push bar, his other arm cradling Stella.
“Thanks.” Nova grins, walking closer to throw her arms around me. “I’m so proud of you.”
“I’m so happy you’re here.” I hug her back.
“Are you kidding? We couldn’t miss this,” she says, squeezing me tightly.
Derek and West exchange hellos. Allegra passes her phone to Dad who gestures toward my friends to gather closer.
I never thought I’d get to this day. Finally, I’m graduating law school. Final exams, Bran, the trauma of this campus—it’s all in my rearview now.
Except, my heart rate stutters, and I realize I’m not ready to move on from Mav. Will I ever be?
“Smile,” Dad says.
I do. Even though I miss Mav with every fiber of my being and wish things turned out differently for us. Right now, I wish he was beside me, winding his arm around my lower back and tucking me under his shoulder.
But since that’s not reality, I lean on the support of my friends and family. With Allegra, Ivy, and Nova at my side, I smile brighter than I have in weeks.
I made it. I got here. And today, I turn the page on law school and Boston. It’s time for me to consider my next chapter.
After coffee and croissants, we head to campus. I wave goodbye to my family and friends as I join my classmates to line up for the ceremony.
“Can you believe we’re graduating?” Robyn asks.
“Not even a little,” I answer truthfully.
“I’m fucking relieved,” Emily admits.
I nod. “Same.”
Emily gives me a sympathetic look and slips her hand into mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Enjoy today, Kenny. You earned this shit.”
I manage a smile. “We all did.”
As we file onto the field where the ceremony takes place, I can’t help but scan the stands for Mav. It’s stupid. Delusional. But part of me hopes he’ll be here today.
An even larger part of me wishes he never left in the first place.
The day he served me divorce papers still haunts me.
What’s worse? I know it’s not because he doesn’t care about me.
It’s because he cares too much. That day, I could read in his eyes that he genuinely believed he was doing what was best, for me.
And after the ordeal with Bran, the bodyguard, the hospital, and Mav’s bender, well, can I blame him?
My gaze catches on a blond guy with blue eyes but, nope, it’s not him.
I sigh. He was such a large part of why I was able to get through my final year of law school. In some ways, today’s achievement feels as much his as it’s mine. I wish he was here to witness it. To celebrate the milestone with me.
I catch my dad’s eye and grin, lifting my hand to wave to him and Jeannie. They’re seated with Allegra, Derek, Ivy, Nova, West, and sweet Stella. Two rows behind them, I note Levi and Jameson.
My smile widens. I didn’t expect to see them today, but I’m happy they’re here. Grateful for their support, especially when things between Maverick and me didn’t work out the way I hoped.
I blow out a sigh and turn my attention to the stage. I can’t live my life hung up on Mav. He made a choice, I begrudgingly respected it, and now, it’s done. We’re over.
My therapist encourages me to focus on other things, like hobbies, friendships, and the future. With the bar exam looming, I have my work cut out for me this summer. The least I can do is enjoy today and relish this achievement I endured three years of hell to attain.
Leaning back in my seat, I try to soak up the moment. As I glance around at my classmates, a pang cuts through my chest that I missed the opportunity to connect with many of them.
Bran took so much more from me than I realized. His actions from that night caused me to view the world through a jaded lens. I hung back instead of springing forward. I hedged social encounters instead of trying to make new friends. I lost confidence in myself and in my judgment.
And the worst part? It took me years to understand the truth, to admit the impact, and in the process, I lost the love of my life. I signed away my marriage. And I ended up alone. Always alone.
Blowing out a breath, I shift my gaze from my classmates to the crowd surrounding the field. Families, friends, and loved ones cheer on their graduates. Proud parents, joyful grandparents, happy partners, bored siblings, and some cute kids snap photos and wave to us.
I try to hold on to the gratitude that settles in my chest. My family and friends showed up big for me today, save for my mom who texted me a generic congratulations in the same message that informed me of her massage this afternoon.
Still, my stomach twists as I continue to scan the crowd.
And I hate that I’m still looking for him. That I can’t not wish and hope and pray. I hate that I want him to be here. That part of me still needs him when I was so effective in pushing him away.
Jesus, I need to get a grip. I’m not going to miraculously see my ex-husband at my law school graduation. Last I heard, Mav’s not even in the country. Allegra told me he’s been spending time at his place in Costa Rica.
The ceremony starts and I force myself to focus on the dean as she ascends the stage.
I cheer loudly when Robyn gives an enthusiastic speech as our student-elected speaker.
And when the diplomas are presented, I clap.
My heart stutters as Bran’s name is skipped since he isn’t graduating with our class on account of his withdrawing and moving to Texas.
“Mckenna Byrne.”
I run my fingers along my graduation gown, smoothing out nonexistent wrinkles as I take the small steps to the stage. Around me, cheers and whistles ring out.
I pull in a breath, cross the stage, and accept the diploma I nearly sacrificed my life for.
A party gone sideways, crippling debt, a crumbling of my foundation.
And yet, law school also gave me Mav. It brought me into his life in ways I never anticipated and showed me what true love looks like. What it feels like.
My chest tightens and I force a smile, shaking the dean’s hand and murmuring my thanks.
I turn to grin at my dad and friends, posing with my rolled-up parchment for a quick photo.
But I falter as I descend the stage. Because there, five rows back, are the brilliant blue eyes that I can sketch from memory. Mav stands, his clapping steady, his eyes trained right on me.
My breath catches and I pause, frozen to the spot.
I drink him in, blinking hard to ensure I’m not hallucinating.
But it’s him. This time, it’s really him. And he’s here. For me.
The side of his mouth tugs up in a half smirk. Proud of you, he mouths. His eyes bleed with remorse and admiration.
His hair is longer on top but styled to look like he just ran his fingers through it.
He’s dressed in a white button-down, his sleeves rolled up to show off his beautiful tattoos.
Navy trousers and a leather belt. He looks sophisticated and polished and nothing like the casual, familiar, sweat shorts and cutoff tank top I’m used to.
But God, is he gorgeous.
I roll my lips together as feelings crash over me. Relief, joy, remorse, pain. It’s a heady cocktail.
Thank you, I mouth back.
He dips his head, his expression softening. It’s as if he knows I mean more than just thanking him for showing up today. I’m thanking him for getting me to this point, in one piece, even if his methods were questionable.
Behind me, a classmate descending the stage clears his throat. I offer a quick smile breaking eye contact with Mav and move back to my seat.
I release an exhale as I sit, pressing my clammy palms together.
When I look up, my eyes snap back to Mav and I suck in a breath, because he’s staring right at me. Dazzling, deep blue I could lose myself in.
Time stops and the ceremony ceases to exist. Instead, it’s us again.
Steady and safe and whole.
“Congratulations!” Robyn squeals, throwing an arm around my neck from behind.
Mav averts his gaze as I turn toward my friend. “You too!” I kiss her cheek in congratulations and gush over her amazing, and heartfelt, speech. Emily joins us and for the next ten minutes, I don’t look for Mav.
But when all the names are read and my class stands to toss our caps in the air, his seat is empty.
He’s already gone.
And I pray I haven’t lost him all over again.