Chapter 30-Callie
When it’s time to circle the wagons…
“How’s Wyatt doing now?” Grace asks gently over muffins Monday morning.
Tabitha came armed and ready for our breakfast and my other friends came with her. I never expected the women I”d meet through a job would come to be some of my strongest allies.Life gives us the people we need when we need them sometimes and I”m grateful for that.
I’ve spent the last day and half focused on my son’s emotions but there comes a time to consider our own feelings, too.
“He’s confused about Chase and very, very sad about the way Ezra left and the shouting he witnessed. He’s scared the wish is to blame. I keep telling him that’s not it and he’s not to blame for any of it. I’d give anything to go back in time and fix this for him.”
Stirring my coffee, I still don’t know if rage or heartbreak is my prevailing emotion. There’s a healthy dose of concern, too, over Chase’s words – “A father has rights, Callie.”
Am I to blame for not wanting to seek out the man who cheated on me, who used me and tell him that I changed my mind about the baby he didn’t even want? I didn’t imagine that, did I? He told me to get rid of the baby but he did mention my future plans.
“Don’t fall for that gaslighting bullshit, Callie,” Kiara says. “You know who’s future he was worried about, his own. You’ve taken on the entire responsibility of your child and not asked for anything after he made it clear he wasn’t interested in being a dad. He has no right to judge you for not updating him after the relationship was over.”
“If he was truly concerned about the potential baby being born, he would’ve come around before now, don’t you think?” Grace adds. “And, if you had gone to him before now, what would you want to bet he would’ve assumed you only wanted money?”
“Yeah, he didn’t even ask how I was when I called to tell him I was moving back home. He just sounded relieved. But, I should’ve known this day would come. I just never imagined it would blow up like that. I never considered how much Ezra’s betrayal would hurt.”
“I don’t know if I’d call it a betrayal, Callie,” Remi says. “It sounds like Ezra hadn’t told him based on the things that were said. What if Chase followed him again?”
“Chase walked right into her apartment and knew the instant he laid eyes on Wyatt. He had to be tipped off, right? Who else would know?” Tabitha says, scowling.
They debate the matter amongst themselves. I don’t even have the heart to join in. I trusted him. I should’ve known better but… I love him. I’ve been a fool for a Sokolov man, twice over.
To be fair, Ezra did seem surprised by Chase’s appearance. And, Chase did accuse him of hiding things. But perhaps Ezra just wanted to tell his brother when the time was right so he could approach me in a less dramatic fashion. Clear cut and businesslike as he probably would’ve done. With legal papers in hand.
Chase was quick enough to mention the money I’d accepted. I shouldn’t feel ashamed over it but I can’t help wondering if that’s impacted Ezra’s opinion of me. God, after everything, I’m still bothered by the thought that Ezra might think ill of me, just as he once did. How screwed up is that?
My cousin Sybil calls around lunchtime from Chicago and asks me to update her on the situation. Mama has already raised the red alert with our entire family and the neighborhood community. ‘No man or woman’s an island, Callie. We’re stronger together,’ she’s fond of saying and I know she’s right.
Sybil puts the judge she works for on the phone and I truly appreciate him speaking to me but his advice is what I expected. He gives me the names of a couple of top family law attorneys in the area. I will not fumble around blindly with this or hide my head in the sand. My son is far too important to me for that.
But, I receive another call soon after which makes me wonder if perhaps I don’t have to prepare for a war after all. “Callie, hi.”
“Chase? How did you get my number?”
He doesn’t answer the question, merely launches into an apology about how he was wrong to show up the way he did and how he reacted. “I was just so shocked, you know? I’ve been seeking help for my anger management issues but… I lost it there. I’ve missed the first five years, Callie. I don’t want to miss the next five.”
I’m stunned and my brain can”t work through what he’s saying. How could he have got my number if not from Ezra? Is this what Ezra wants? Did he put Chase up to calling? Then, I immediately latch on to the last part – ‘I don’t want to miss the next five.’ My son wished for his father to come home on his birthday and he did. If I’m honest, Chase isn’t the daddy I want Wyatt to grow up knowing. It’s his brother I’d rather see in that role but the guilt those words stir makes me agree to a meeting after work today.
“And, you’ll bring him with you?” Chase asks.
Bring my five-year-old to a potentially confrontational meeting? Hell, no. “I think this is a conversation we need to have one-on-one first.”
After I hang up, I try to work but it’s useless. My mind keeps going back over things and settling on two – Wyatt and Ezra, the little boy I must protect and the man I’ve not heard from since asking him to leave my apartment on Saturday. Does he care to know what’s happening now that Chase is around?
But, as if my wandering thoughts have cried out to him, he sends a text.
Ezra:How is Wyatt?
I wish it wasn’t simply a text but, whereas Chase started with an apology, talked about himself and then made a request, Ezra’s first concern is Wyatt’s wellbeing.
Me:He’s been better but he was okay yesterday. Kids are resilient.
I’m not sure what else to say. I don’t know where we stand now.
Ezra:I’ve been thinking of you both constantly. How are you, hummingbird?
My nose stings as my eyes grow hot and wet. I lay my head down on my desk and count to five hundred to prevent myself from breaking down, from begging him to come hold me and tell me how much he cares, from making him promise me this will all be okay.
Me:I’m meeting Chase for dinner later so we can talk this through hopefully.
Ezra:Yes, he mentioned he would be seeing you. He’s hoping to see a lot of you from what he’s shared. I respect your right to make your own choices regarding my brother but, if there’s anything at all you need, please call me.
I wait to see if there’s more but there isn’t. Why does his text feel so dismissive? He respects my right to make my own choices? Call him if I need something? Something like tickets to his team’s next game or for him to fight for me and my son, heart and soul?
Another thought joins my doubts. Does he want me to see Chase and work something other than potential child visitation out with him? Where’s the man who said he’d never allow another man to cut in when he had the privilege of dancing with me?
You’re blowing this all out of proportion,I tell myself. Ezra didn’t get a damn hummingbird tattoo on his hip and spend six years being celibate over lukewarm feelings.
But, he’s not admitting any feelings aloud. What if, during all this time we’ve been spending together, I didn’t live up to the expectations he’d been nurturing in his head? Ezra waited six years to be with me. I made Chase wait for sex and he was unfaithful the next day. Too high expectations can be a relationship killer. Perhaps he’d be satisfied in the role of uncle to Wyatt and letting our affair be just an affair in the end.
I lay my head back down on my desk and try to count to five hundred again. It doesn’t help.
∞∞∞
I’m hot under the collar by the time Chase strolls into the restaurant we agreed to meet at that evening. “You’re a half hour late. I had to ask my mother to pick Wyatt up from preschool.”
“Sorry, the Lambo I rented was having issues. Had to sort that out with the rental company.” He flashes his dimples. “They gave me a Range Rover like Ezra’s. More space for these long legs.” He grabs the menu. “What are you drinking? And, where does little man go to school?”
He ignored my question earlier about where he got my number so I figure we’re even if I choose to ignore that one. “Fine. You’re here now. I ordered soda for us both since you’ve stopped drinking. Right?”
“Sure. Not drinking.” Setting the menu aside, his eyes roam up and down my business attire. “You look hotter than ever, Callie.”
Am I supposed to be charmed by that? I narrow my eyes as he gives me that winsome grin of his, the one that used to make me hurry back to my dorm to fix his homework answers for him. This man really still believes he’s God’s gift, doesn’t he? “That’s not why we’re here, Chase.”
He smirks and nods, ordering a burger when the server stops by. An uncomfortable silence descends. “Aren’t you eating?” he asks after he’s been staring at the TV over the bar for too long.
“I’ll be eating dinner with Wyatt.”
“Why Wyatt?”
“Excuse me?”
“The name. Why’d you pick it? It just sounds so…”
“So, what, exactly?”
Chase shrugs and chuckles to himself. “Never mind. He likes hockey, huh? Just like his old man.”
Lord, help me not to stab this man in the eye with my salad fork. “He likes lots of things. He likes hockey because your brother brought the NHL to our city.” He scowls at that. “Chase, what do you want?”
“I want my lying brother to make an apology.”
Okay, so Ezra definitely didn’t tell him. “Is that all you care about?”
“I want to meet my son without being thrown out the damn door, too.”
“Are you expecting an apology from me?” He must sense that answering yes to that question would be hazardous to his health because he quickly shakes his head.
“No. I fucked things up with you. That’s on me. Then, you wanted to get even by going to the dean.”
“Chase, nothing I told them was false,” I warn.
“Hear me out. That whole cheating scandal was going on. I’d just been offered a contract. You turned up at the apartment, pregnant and scared. I freaked out, okay? I didn’t handle the conversation right. We can’t undo it now so can’t we just move forward as adults?”
“I’ve been an adult for many years now. I’ve been parenting a child for the last five years, too.”
“So, let me step in some. Let me get to know him. Let me take him to the park or to a game. We’d have fun together.”
“There’s more to being a dad than fun outings.”
“Of course, there is. That’s part of why I’m going to sign with the Fog.”
He is? Ezra’s going to give him a spot on the team just like that? I made him promise to tell me and he didn’t.
“Once that happens, I’ll be living here full-time. I can start paying support, too.”
“Being a dad isn’t just about money either.” Though the realist in me accepts that Chase could certainly step up there and, if he’s living here in town, perhaps he would actually make an honest attempt to be a real father to Wyatt. “I suppose we could talk this through,” I say, on the verge of making a concession.
“You look gorgeous, Callie.” Jesus, right back to that, huh? “Hold on, I got you something.” He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a long, slim jewelry box. He sets it down on the table between us and taps it. “Go on. Open it,” he urges as if he expects me to react like a kid on Christmas morning. With a sigh, I do as he wants. It’s a delicate gold necklace with a bird charm dangling from it. “It’s one of those little birds you liked.”
“Is it a sparrow?” I ask, noting the tiny beak and larger body proportions.
“Sure, one of those. You had that poster on your wall back in your dorm.”
His brother got a whole-ass tattoo of the correct bird even knowing he might never so much as kiss me and this is Chase’s gesture?“Let’s not confuse the important issue tonight with-”
He grabs my hand, bringing it up to his lips. I yank it back before his lips touch my skin but he’s strong enough to keep hold of me. “I think we should try again, Callie. For little man. Give him a mommy and a daddy.”
Oh, my God, he’s delusional. “You cheated on me.”
“Pfft.Six years ago.”
“I don’t want to get back together with you. You literally saw me having sex with your brother ten days ago.”
He gives me a lascivious smirk. “Well… so long as it’s all in the family. Can’t blame a hot single mom for trying to nab a billionaire bachelor.”
The server arrives with Chase’s burger just in time to watch me pick up the soda I’d ordered him and throw it in his face. His face, his shirt, his lap are all doused. Cola and it was nice and full of ice cubes. Ah, so satisfying.
With my other hand free once more, I throw money on the table. “I apologize for the mess and this is for his meal,” I tell her as I stand to leave. She scurries off mentioning fetching towels as I lean over Chase. “Do not make the assumption that anything will ever happen between you and I again. You got me?”
“I got you,” he growls, angrily.
Reaching for my bag, I notice someone watching us from a nearby booth, someone I recognize. It’s that damn reporter, Amber. Why is she here and why does she look entirely too invested in our conversation?
Before I can question her, Chase has snatched my hand back and, this time, he is not trying to woo me with hand kisses.
“You’re hurting me,” I say, trying to hide the way his evident fury scares me. I always knew he had a temper but this is a side of Chase he’s never personally shown me.
“Bitch, I haven’t even begun to hurt you yet.”
I feel the blood draining from my face. With a final vicious squeeze, he releases me. I can barely feel my fingers. He shoots a look toward Amber and the pieces start falling into place. She’s involved with this somehow.
“I can’t wait for the world to learn about how my hateful college ex-girlfriend tried to ruin my life and then stole my son from me. It would make a great exposé, don’t you think?”
“You’d use our son like that simply to improve your image?”
“Whatever it takes to win,” he sneers.
I’m speechless. Breathless. I’m surprised I can walk away on legs made of jelly. What have I done? How the hell do I shield my baby from this?
I keep glancing over my shoulder on the way to the bus stop, terrified that Chase might follow me. Ezra wanted me to get a car and, right now, I wish I had. He said to call him if I needed him. I want to call him. I need him.
But, I don’t know if he’s the best person to turn to when his brother just threatened me and Wyatt.
Calling Mama will only get her worked up and worrying. I need someone on my side who can stay rational about this, someone who isn’t personally entangled in it, someone who has had my back many times before and has the power and clout to protect us.
The bus picks me up and I’m dialing with trembling hands before it even starts to move. “Tabitha?”
“Hey, Callie. How’d it-”
“Tabitha, I need help. I need to talk to Dean.”