Bennett — Age 25
The hot, metallic air from inside the station dissipated as we made our way out of the subway into the frigid January evening. Maven took my hand, and though I could feel her gaze on my profile, I didn’t meet it.
“What’s the matter, Ben?”
I shook my head.
“Just talk to me. You’ve been acting weird ever since we got home from Christmas break.”
“This isn’t home, Maven.”
Her head reeled back slightly. “Is that what this is about? Another rant about how much you hate New York City?”
I did. I hated it here. I hated the long hours at a job I despised that earned barely enough to pay for the increased cost of everything.
I hated how crowded it was. And dirty. And noisy.
And that you could walk blocks and only see concrete and asphalt and buildings.
I hated how no one smiled or made eye contact or greeted each other.
But most of all, I hated how much Maven seemed to love this place.
How she found awe and excitement in it all. “Another rant?”
She paused, facing me. “When we were home for Christmas, you couldn’t stop mentioning your dislike.
You were constantly comparing it to the country—how fresh the air was in Autumn Ridge and how everything felt so friendly and welcoming.
I got the point. Everyone did. You are miserable here and you can’t wait to go back. ”
I swallowed. “But you can?”
She dropped her chin, her expression full of irritation. “I want to enjoy the last few months we have here. I want to experience what we can and take advantage of being in the middle of so much before…” Her words trailed off.
“Before what? You’re stuck in the middle of nowhere?”
Maven’s eyes narrowed. “You act like I don’t love Autumn Ridge just because I love it here. Two things can be true at the same time.”
“But you can’t have both.”
“Clearly.” She shook her head and threw her arms out wide, a touch of resentment in her voice.
“Which is why I’m giving all of this up.
The career I want. The incredible opportunities.
All of it. I’m giving it up for you. For the life we planned together.
Is that not enough? Do I need to pretend I hate the city to make you feel better about us going home? ”
A vibrating started in my core, shaking me enough to see the truth of our situation.
Maven would never be happy in Autumn Ridge.
And I wouldn’t be happy in the life she clearly wanted.
We’d made our plans before she realized what was available to her.
It wasn’t fair of me to hold her to an uninformed decision because she’d fallen in love with a small-town farm boy.
Maven was meant for this life. I wasn’t.
It didn’t matter how much we loved each other.
If we stayed together, one of us would end up miserable.